Coincidental Major
by m7707
Summary: A tale about a hockey-playing boy who loves his girl. This is Edward's story from Major Misconduct.
1. Chapter 1: Neutral Zone

**Hello again, gang.**

**This is going to be all Edward. It's his story from Major Misconduct and more. You can read this without reading the other, although it might be fun.**

**I'm hoping to post updates once per week. The story is complete (well, almost!).**

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**CHAPTER 1: Neutral Zone**

It was mostly silent in the car as I drove to school for the first day of our junior year in high school. The only sounds were the radio playing softly in the background, the much louder swish of tires on the wet road, and the dull thump of the wiper blades clearing the windshield. I took a quick look out of the corner of my eye at my best friend. He was fidgeting, and that was completely unlike him. Well, he was lightly drumming his fingers on his thigh, but for Jasper, that was a full-blown fidget. Jasper was the most laid-back guy I'd ever met, but for some reason he was nervous. I had a good guess as to why.

I let a small smile cross my face – the potential for fucking with him was huge. I drummed my own fingers on the leather-wrapped steering wheel, considering. The problem with having a best friend who you'd known since you were six was that he knew you just as well. The possibilities for him returning the mind-fucking were limitless, but I knew exactly where he'd go. We knew each other's buttons too well.

"So," I began casually – too casually. He slowly turned his head toward me and narrowed his eyes warningly. "So," I tried again. "Ah…"

"Shut up, Edward," he said mildly, turning his attention back to the soggy road in front of us. His fingers started their rhythmic _tap tap tap_ on his leg again.

"What's the big deal?" I asked him curiously. "You've been seeing Alice for the past couple of weeks. She's crazy about you, you know that. It's not like being at school's going to change anything. Is it?" I glanced at his set face, noticing he looked slightly ill. I couldn't imagine why. I'd never met anyone as open and honest and…_enthusiastic_ as Alice Brandon. Jasper had met her at the mall in Port Angeles, of all places, a few weeks ago and hadn't come off his high since. Neither had she, and I didn't think she was capable of playing anyone – especially not someone as good at reading people as Jasper.

"Are you giving me relationship advice, Cullen?" he asked with a sly and pointed look in my direction.

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat before I realized what I was doing. I knew exactly what he was talking about, but I played it off in a futile attempt at distracting him. "What? I've had, uh…relationships."

"I mean with a girl." The fucker was teasing me. I'd known that was coming.

"Fucker." I said it out loud. "I have." My voice sounded defensive even to my own ears. I was trying to deflect like a mad dog.

"California girl," he scoffed, rolling his eyes. "And fucking Tanya, for Chrissake. Those don't count. Especially Tanya. You can't count it as a relationship if you could barely bring yourself to kiss her."

Yeah, and I regretted sharing that little gem with him. I couldn't help it if the beautiful, agile, and willing Tanya had done nothing for me during the very short time we dated a couple of months ago. Kissing her was like kissing my sister, and to anyone in sports, a "sister-kisser" never a good thing. I should have realized something wasn't right when I didn't even try for a kiss until we'd already been out on a few dates. She had been more concerned that everyone knew she was dating Edward Cullen, doctor's son and star athlete, anyway. Tanya wasn't the one I wanted to be kissing, and I had broken it off with her as soon as I realized that fact. I hadn't felt right the entire time I'd been with her, which thankfully had been only a week or two before I came to my senses.

I shoved the thought of who I _would_ like to be kissing quickly aside. Jazz was like a circling shark. If he smelled blood I'd be in the middle of a feeding frenzy, with me being the food. There was one subject that I was particularly sensitive about, and the fucker knew it. Stupid best friends. He gave me a smug smile, like he knew what I was thinking, and I scowled as I pulled into the student parking lot of Forks High School. A feeling of regret, anxiety, excitement, and, goddammit, _arousal_ cramped my stomach as I passed her truck. I was such a fucking pussy. It figures I'd be all hung up on some girl who barely acknowledged my existence. How ironic was that?

Jazz was watching me sympathetically, and I kind of growled. I knew I was pathetic; I didn't need him giving me The Speech to remind me. "So," he began, unconsciously using the exact same tone and the exact same words that I had used with him just minutes ago. "Alice is friends with her, you know. Maybe this year -"

"Shut up, Jasper," I told him, and I consciously echoed his words and tone from just a few minutes ago.

He sighed, settling back in his seat and shaking his head as I pulled into the parking spot I had been using since I got my license and my car. "I just don't get it, Edward. You've got every girl in the school – hell, in the Pacific Northwest and parts of California – wanting to jump your shit. And you can't even say hi to this one."

"Not every girl," I muttered.

Damn it.

I'd been fascinated by Isabella Marie Swan ever since I ran her over in the hall during the second term of our sophomore year. I hadn't been looking where I was going, and in my rush to get to class on time, I practically flattened the small, dark-haired girl. Her books and papers had gone flying out of her hands, and I'd knelt down, stammering in embarrassment and trying to help her. She'd grumbled, a kind of low, sexy rumble, and I was both shocked and turned on in an instant. My entire body had frozen as I stared at the top of her head, trying to fathom why I felt the sound all the way down to my toes. She'd glanced up at me, her pretty face flushed, her eyes dark and wide, and I couldn't make my mouth work. Those big brown eyes had narrowed as she stood, clutching her papers and books to her chest before she spun on her heel and walked quickly away from me. I just stayed there, crouched on the floor with my mouth hanging open and my head spinning. I had no idea what had just happened to me. My entire body shook with awareness and arousal. She was the prettiest girl I'd ever seen, and she thought I was a hulking idiot – a hulking, girl-crushing idiot.

I tried to talk to her, to approach her at school, just to say hi or apologize or something. _Anything_. Every time I'd start walking toward her, or come across her in the hall or the lunchroom, she'd scurry away like she didn't want to be seen with me. I didn't know if it was just me, or if she didn't like jocks in general, like maybe she'd already made up her mind I was a jerk or something. It happened all the time – I'd discovered most people's reaction to jocks usually hit one extreme or the other. Either they wanted to hang out with you because they thought that you were popular and cool, or they avoided you because they thought you were an asshole. Bella didn't seem to mind Newton, though. She at least talked to him, and he was an alternate captain of the football team like I was of the hockey team. Maybe she just didn't like hockey players – we certainly got stereotyped enough. It just seemed that every time I'd catch her eye she'd look horrified she was actually making contact with me. She always looked away, hiding her pretty face behind that curtain of mouthwatering hair so I couldn't stare at her. Those thick, shiny waves starred in a couple of my raunchier fantasies, usually wrapped around my cock or my hand as I took her from behind. Yeah, I had some pretty wild fantasies about the girl – I was a seventeen year old hockey player, so sue me.

It was my darkest fear that she somehow knew, that the thoughts showed on my face, because when I'd see her and start thinking about how all that beautiful pale skin would feel under my fingertips, she'd blush and be gone in an instant, leaving me with frustrated and vibrating with unrequited lust. I spent most of the second half of my sophomore year coming up with inventive ways to hide my hard-on, which occurred pretty much every time I saw her.

I'm Edward Cullen. Welcome to my charmed life.


	2. Chapter 2: Poke Check

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CHAPTER 2: Poke Check**

I had Social Studies first hour with Jazz, so at least it was an easy start to the day. My second period I had free, as I didn't have a language class this year. I knew French, Spanish, and German – as well as a couple of others – better than the teachers. Until they hired someone that could challenge me, my parents and the administration decided it would be better to not have me sitting around being bored in class. I had my older brother Emmett to thank for that. He'd gotten bored in Spanish class when he was attending Forks High, and that ended up being a disaster of epic proportions. I debated about seeing if I could charm Mrs. Cope into switching my free period with my first or last class, so I could sleep in or go home early, but decided against it. I could use the time to work out or finish homework later in the year.

I had Gym after my free period, so working out fit in pretty well with my morning schedule. I wouldn't be putting in a very hard routine here at school, as the equipment Emmett had in our home gym was so much better than what the school system could afford. Emmett had been playing football ever since he first tripped over one in our yard when he was three, which was before I was even born. He had been the star quarterback at Forks High and pretty much everywhere else he played along the way. He'd been recruited relentlessly by just about every collegiate football program in the country before settling on USC. He'd led them to a conference championship each year he'd been a starter, and was in line to take them to the National Championships this year as a senior. He was also pretty much a lock for a Heisman Trophy nomination this year, too. I loved my brother, but I had to admit it had been pretty peaceful since he left for college. He was a great guy, but he could be annoying and really obnoxious at times.

I wished I was at home using Emmett's equipment instead of at school, but I would have to deal with what I had in front of me. I needed to work on conditioning more than strength right now, and I eyed the ancient treadmill, wondering if I should risk possible injury. I was powering it up and listening to the ominous creaking and gnashing sounds when the door opened and half the friggin' cheerleading squad came in – and not the good half.

"Hi, Edward!" Lauren Mallory chirped, coming over to me and standing way too close. "What are you doing in here?"

"Uh…" I glanced down at the obvious, my feet jogging slowly on the treadmill. Lauren's eyes were focused on my legs. I looked up, and the other three girls were standing across the room, staring at my legs, too. _Creepy._ I hit the stop button. "I think I'm risking my life and limbs on this thing."

Lauren threw her head back and laughed like a hyena. Seriously, she sounded just like the hyenas my dad had been watching on the Discovery channel special a few nights ago. I stepped off the treadmill and inched away. "I, uh, guess I'll just…go."

Tanya detached herself from the other two girls and walked over to me. – just what I had feared happening ever since the group of girls walked into the workout room. She put her hand on my arm and let it linger on my bicep. I barely controlled a shudder.

"Your limbs look just fine to me, Edward. Don't they, girls?" She tossed a sly look over her shoulder at them, and then turned her smug and superior glare on Lauren. I felt like the piece of carrion those hyenas had been fighting over on TV. I really, really needed to get out of there.

"Uh, hi, Tanya. Well." I casually shrugged my shoulders, trying to dislodge her hand. "Gotta go talk to Coach. I've got Gym next period, so…yeah. Gotta go."

Her hand tightened on my arm, and the hairs rose on the back of my neck as I felt her nails dig into my skin. This time I couldn't control the shudder and took a few swift steps backward, finally getting free of her touch. What the hell had I been thinking, going out with this shark even one time? I looked at her face – oh yeah, that was why. That and the fact she had pursued me relentlessly, until I finally had thought, w_hy the hell not_? Well, I'd learned _why not_ the hard way. It just proved what my dad had told me at a young age – physical beauty meant little compared to what was inside a person. Wiser words…

I counted myself lucky I'd figured out there would never be any real feeling between us after only a couple of weeks of dating her. That girl was a man-eater, and thank God I didn't know that firsthand. I made tracks for the door, pulling the T-shirt down over my ass self-consciously as I walked away.

"Bye, Edward!" Tanya and Lauren both said simultaneously in sing-song voices, as the other two giggled. I gulped and hit the doors. I counted myself lucky to get out of there with my jock still in place. So much for working out at school during my free period. There was nothing that could convince me to go back in there with that bunch.

Jazz was in my Gym class, and we tossed a ball around with Mike Newton. I'd always thought he was a pretty good guy – until he started talking about his crush on Bella Swan. I went stock-still and quiet, my fists bunching at my sides and my jaw clenching as he talked about seeing her over the summer when she was out with her friends, how good she looked, how he had flirted with her and "turned on the old Newton charm." Jasper put his hand warningly on my chest and held me in place, and then Mike started talking about how hot the new girl was – the new girl Bella was friends with named Alice – and how amazing they looked together. I grabbed him by the shirt as he took a deliberate step toward Mike with murder on his mind. Mike just blathered on and on as Jasper and I wrestled with each other, fighting for the chance to kick his teeth down his throat.

Mike finally stopped talking. "What?" He eyed us warily. I realized Jazz and I were clutching each other, our hands fisted in each other's shirts as we struggled and fought for the right to be the one to pummel Mike. We jumped back like we'd been electrocuted, and Mike backed away, holding his hands up in front of him. "Hey, whatever, dudes." He walked off, shaking his head.

"Did he just call us 'dudes?'" I asked. It only made the urge to rip his head off stronger.

"Stupid cocksucker." Jasper glared at Mike's retreating form, and then turned to me. "You, too."

"Me?" I looked at him in surprise. "What did I do? He was talking about our girls."

Jasper advanced on me, blood in his eye. "My girl. He was talking about _my_ girl and her friend. I get to smack the shit out of him, not you. She's not your girl. Is she?"

I stared at him, and my mouth opened and closed a couple of times. Fucker.

"Fucker," I said, and he gloated, nodding his head in smug satisfaction and poking me in the chest. I scowled, and my shoulders slumped.

"No, she's not." He answered his own question with a superior smile, and I pushed past him to head for the lockers. He kept at me like some annoying little bitch. "And why isn't she your girl? Because you're too much of a pussy to ask her out, that's why. Hell, you're too much of a pussy to even talk to her, for crying out loud! It would be different if she wasn't nice, if she was a bitch or something, I could understand, but – whoa!" He stopped, and held his hands up as I whirled on him when I heard the word bitch in any relation to Bella Swan. She wasn't a bitch. No one got to call her a bitch, or even insinuate she might be, not while I was around. Not even my best friend.

I gritted my teeth, fighting my anger. I had a wicked temper – something I worked very hard at controlling. "Don't," I gritted out, pointing my finger at him. "Just…don't." I turned and continued toward the lockers.

"You are one messed up _dude_, Cullen!" he called after me, purposely using Mike's asinine term. I snorted in amusement despite myself, and went inside the locker room to change.

After Gym I had English, and I did what I usually did between classes – I watched Bella Swan. Not in a stalker kind of way…okay, not completely like a stalker. Well, maybe a little. Shit. She was with her friend Angela Weber, talking and laughing with her as they walked to their next class. I didn't know Angela, but she seemed really nice, and her boyfriend Ben was a good guy. I'd known Ben since kindergarten, although we had never been really close friends. We got along well. Ben played trumpet in the marching band, and traveled with a group of band members to the hockey games to play and pump up team spirit. Hockey was often forgotten, since it was played off school grounds, and I appreciated the time and effort the group took to come to the games.

I stood at my locker and watched the two girls pass by, my eyes focusing unerringly on Bella Swan. Angela was a cute girl, but her hair didn't have all the light-catching color, her skin wasn't as smooth and glowing, her eyes were brown, but not soft and deep, not like Bella's…_Aw, hell_. I really was pathetic. I was waxing poetic about a girl who wouldn't even look at me. I shook my head. The motion must have caught her eye, because she glanced up sharply at me, only to jerk her head around when she realized I was looking at her. She bit her lip and her cheeks filled with color. I was so fucked. I couldn't stop staring at her, and she wouldn't even look at me.

So I stared a little more. I had no idea why she didn't like me. I tried to remember my manners, knew a lot of girls liked my face, was in great shape from hockey, and was pretty smart. I did advanced coursework, even. So why couldn't I figure out how to talk to this one girl? I wondered yet again if she just didn't like jocks, and found it ironic that the one thing that usually made it so easy to catch female attention would be the one thing that kept the female whose attention I actually wanted away. It figured.

I sat glumly through English. It wasn't that I didn't particularly like the subject, it was just that it looked like a lot of reading for the semester. And not that I didn't like to read, it was just that I didn't have much extra time to sit with a book. I had hockey practice practically every minute I wasn't in school or sleeping. It was going to be an interesting semester.

Lunch was after English and before Biology. Normally, Jazz and I would sit and bullshit for a while as we ate, but he was going to meet Alice's friends today.

"Come with me," he urged. "Alice is going to introduce me to Bella, and it would be perfectly natural for her to introduce you to her then, too. Nice and easy."

I shook my head. "I really don't think Bella Swan likes me. I don't want your first meeting with Alice's friends to be uncomfortable. It should be nice and easy, like you said, and I don't think it will be if I'm there."

Jazz just stared at me. "You're such a fucking pussy. I can't believe you, Edward Cullen, my best friend, is such a big fat stinking pussy."

"Shut the fuck up," I hissed. Goddamn best friends. They saw right through your bullshit.

He just sighed. "All right then, pussy. Just watch as big brave Jasper goes over and talks to the scary wittle girls."

I wanted to punch him as he walked away, but I didn't want to draw any attention to us as I followed him into the lunchroom. I headed toward a table where a bunch of my teammates were eating lunch, while he went over to the table where Alice, Bella, and Angela sat. I wasn't paying any attention to the conversations around me as I watched Alice introduce him to her friends. My entire body stiffened as Bella smiled right up at him, her pretty brown eyes shining and happy. I wanted her to look at me like that. I gritted my teeth, scowling when Eric punched my arm.

"The fuck, Yorkie?" I grumbled, rubbing my bicep and looking over my shoulder at Bella Swan. She was still smiling at Jasper. Asshole.

I ate my lunch, casting glances over at the table where Jasper sat with the girls until it was time to go to my next class, which was Biology. I was just about to enter the lab when I realized I hadn't gotten my textbook and notepad from my locker. With an annoyed and frustrated sigh, I turned around and marched back to the other side of the school. It was completely unlike me to forget things, to not be prepared. I was kind of a freak about that kind of stuff. I managed to locate the textbook and tucked my notepad under my arm as I jogged back through the halls to the Biology classroom. I slowed as I reached the doorway, knowing I was already late. My gaze roved the room, looking for an empty seat. The only one I saw was about halfway back on the other side of the room, right next to a small, dark-haired girl. I froze. Bella Swan.

I took a deep breath and walked determinedly toward the empty seat and the beautiful girl who sat next to it, staring down at her textbook. It was fate. It had to be. I figuratively grabbed my balls and decided I was going to make the most of this opportunity. I would have Bella Swan sitting next to me, within touching distance, for an entire semester.

Mr. Banner called me on being late, but I wasn't too worried about that. I was never late, so I knew he'd let it slide. Plus, I was too busy concentrating on acting like my heart wasn't pounding out of my chest at being so close to Bella Swan as I slipped into the chair next to hers. She couldn't run away from me now, could she? _Hah_. After a few seconds, I felt my pulse return to normal and my usual confidence reassert itself. Banner started to pass out the syllabus for the term, and I turned to face the girl who had been starring in most of my fantasies for the past nine months. I made sure a friendly smile was on my face as I spoke to her. I didn't want to do anything to make her bolt from my presence like she usually did.

"Hello," I said. "I'm Edward Cullen. I don't know if we've ever been formally introduced."

Uh, what the fuck was that? _Hello, I'm Edward Cullen?_ What was I, her fucking banker? Where was my oh-so-casual _Hey, I'm Edward?_ At least I didn't pop out with_ yeah, I'm the guy who has practically been stalking you since January and fantasizing about what kind of panties you wear_. Fuck.

She slowly looked up at me, and met my eyes on purpose for the first time…well, I think the first time ever. The breath caught in my throat and burned in my chest. She was beautiful. Her eyes were as wide and soft brown as I'd imagined, and I couldn't do anything but stare at her. She mumbled something I didn't quite catch through the roaring of the blood in my ears. Her face was turned up to mine, and I stared. I had to jerk myself out of my stupor when she introduced herself – as if I didn't know exactly who she was.

"I'm Bella. Bella -"

"Swan," I finished for her in a soft tone, and then internally flinched. Jesus, I sounded like a complete pussy. A complete stalker pussy. Jasper was right, damn him.

"Um." She stared at me in surprise, her mouth hanging open a little. "Yeah."

Great. I was freaking her out, I knew it. I took a deep breath and tried for a little humor to defuse the situation. "Hope you don't mind being lab partners this term, it looks like you're stuck with me." I gave her a small smile, forcing my body into a relaxed, and what I hoped looked casual, slouch. When I'd taken that breath, I could smell her light, feminine scent and whatever fragrance she was wearing, something that reminded me of food. I wanted to bury my face in her neck and take a big-ass bite. I almost laughed out loud at that ridiculous mental image.

She was still staring at me – and who could blame her? I was acting like a total dumbass. "No, no. I don't mind," she said. And then she blushed. And then I had a problem. I shifted uncomfortably.

She was amazing. The flush faded from her cheeks, and I swiftly tried to come up with a way to make it happen again. Okay, so maybe I'm a masochist…_Christ. Stop thinking about whips and chains_...I could feel someone staring, and glanced back to see Mike Newton glaring daggers at me for talking to Bella Swan. Or maybe it was because I was hovering over her, trying to absorb her into my body.

"Good." I hovered closer. Take that, football-boy. "I'm glad you're not pining away for Newton or anything."

She snorted – she actually snorted – and then clapped her hand over her mouth. Bright color bloomed in her soft cheeks, and her brown eyes were wide over her hand. She was fucking stunning. I smiled, pleased with my success, and eased back into my seat. Banner started his introductory lecture, and I tried to relax as I turned my attention to my notebook. I was still blindingly aware of her sitting so close to me, within reach, close enough to feel the heat of her body and hear her move. This was the first time since I'd knocked her over last January that I'd been this close to her, and she hadn't run away like I was some sort of homicidal maniac jock. Of course, she was kind of trapped in the classroom, and she really had no choice when I sat down next to her, but…she didn't seem too upset to be this close or to interact with me. I chose to see it as progress.

I recalled the look on her face, her gestures, and her blush during our short but memorable conversation at the beginning of class. She didn't seem to hate me. She seemed a little embarrassed, actually, and not because I was forcing her to talk to me. Almost like she was embarrassed of herself? I couldn't imagine why. I tossed this thought around in my head, but just couldn't get a grip on why she would feel that way around me. Maybe she was embarrassed because she didn't like me? I knew I was popular – I couldn't miss that fact, even if it did sometimes make me a little uncomfortable. Maybe my popularity made her uncomfortable. Maybe she thought she should like me, but she just didn't? Okay, that was probably stretching it, but I just couldn't figure her out. And I didn't want her to like me because it was something she _should_ do – I already dealt with way too many people like that. I wanted her to like me for _me_. Now didn't that just sound too fucking pitiful?

I sighed and tried to turn my mind to something less depressing. I tuned in briefly to Banner, who was still rambling on about his expectations for the semester. No help there. I was still aware of every shift, every move, every damn breath of the girl sitting next to me. She kept glancing at me, and her breathing got a little weird. Could she tell I was fixated on the fact that she was close enough for me to grab? I tried to think of something else, something that would distract me from focusing on how close she was. I absently began humming a tune that had been lingering in my head, and I idly scratched out some notes as they swirled and coalesced in my consciousness. They were all deep browns, pale roses, and strawberries. Strawberries? Oh, hell. Bella Swan again.

"What's that?" The voice of my obsession interrupted my somewhat dismayed thoughts. My eyes shot to hers before I realized it was completely nuts for me to think she had been reading my mind. She had been peeking curiously at what I was writing in my notebook, though. She looked startled and then mortified that she'd asked what I was drawing out loud, basically admitting she'd been watching me.

Good. I wasn't the only one embarrassed by my straying thoughts. At least I'd been able to control blurting them out loud. I was glad she couldn't say the same, and I was glad it appeared her thoughts had been straying to me. Interesting. She started stammering an apology for looking at the scribbles in my notebook, and I grinned.

"Relax, Bella," I said. I even liked saying her name. "They're not gang signs or anything." I shut my pad so she couldn't see I'd been doodling musical notes in the margin, although it was better than fucking hearts and flowers.

"Really, sorry…"

"You do that too much." I watched her closely. She kept apologizing to me for nothing. It was a little weird. I watched in fascination as that pretty color flooded her face once again.

I know," she said, surprising me. "It's the bane of my existence. I've always been an easy blusher."

Wait…how did she know I was practically panting every time color flooded her cheeks? Was I being that obvious? I'd been talking about her apologizing. I smiled as I realized she was actually self-conscious about her beautiful blush. "No," I assured her. "Not your blushing, although that's pretty cute. You apologize too much."

"Sorry," she responded automatically.

I couldn't contain the laugh that burst from me. She was apologizing for apologizing and didn't even know it. Hell, she was funny.

"Something amusing you wish to share, Mr. Cullen?" Banner had paused in his droning speech to raise a brow at me.

I couldn't help sliding her an amused glance, wondering what she'd do if I told him and if it would make her blush some more. I felt her finger poke me in the leg in admonishment and almost leapt out of my skin. She was touching me – voluntarily. I think I loved Banner and his stupid Biology class. I felt her finger prod me again under the table, and then the wide, warm flat of her palm opened on my thigh just above my knee. It slid higher. My entire body went rigid – my _entire_ body. I was dreaming. I had to be.

Uh, nope, not dreaming. Not even my wildest dreams had included Bella Swan caressing my leg – in class – under the Biology lab table. And then it wasn't my leg she had her hand on anymore. _Holy fuck_. I barely controlled a moan and fought to hold my body still, when all I wanted to do was grab her hand and press it hard to where she had briefly touched. What the fuck was that?

_What the fuck?_

"Sorry, Mr. Banner." I focused my attention straight ahead, but couldn't control a quick, sideways glance. Had she just…?

Yeah, she had. Her face was flaming red, and she was very obviously trying to pretend the last few seconds hadn't happened and that I didn't exist. Inexplicably, this made me happier than I'd been in a long time. Bella Swan had just touched me. Willingly. She probably hadn't meant to, not like that, but still...She'd put her hand on me. Bella Swan, the girl I'd wanted to touch for months. Maybe she wasn't as oblivious to me as I had thought. A girl didn't grab a guy like _that_ if she hated him – I was pretty confident I knew the difference.

When Banner turned back to the board, I leaned over to tease her a little, to see if I could get her to blush again. I put my nose close to her ear to whisper, "You _so_ owe me."

I was joking, teasing her about not telling Banner I'd just gotten the goods groped right in front of him, but she sucked in a breath and whipped her head around, causing all of her thick, amazing hair to swirl around her shoulders. I got another whiff of something sweet, something fruity, something all girl. I involuntarily leaned toward her and just inhaled. And then I did it again. And then I had a problem again. I was instantly, completely, and undeniably erect. A full hard on, in my jeans, under the table, in the middle of Biology class. I gritted my teeth as her scent filled my head and my cock swelled painfully. It took everything in my power not to reach down and adjust, twitch, _stroke_. Holy fuck. Now what?

I sat as still and frozen as a statue for the rest of the period, fighting the urge to grab the girl, haul her off to somewhere private, rip her clothes off, grab her hair, and plunge inside her. Hell, I wasn't even picky about it being private at this point, any dark corner would do. _Christ_. I sat perfectly still, miserable and aching, knowing that if I moved, if I twitched, if I did anything more than take shallow, short breaths, I'd come in my jeans. I hadn't had a full hard-on in public since I was thirteen, and I'd never been this close to erupting from just a quick touch. Ever.

It took a really long time for my erection to subside, but thankfully by the time class ended I could at least risk standing without poking her eye out. I kept my hips turned away from her – just in case – as I piled my books on top of each other and stood on shaky legs. I couldn't speak – I could barely look at her – as we both started for the door at the same time. The silence between us hung heavy and awkward, and I despaired being right back where we started because of my stupid dick. I'd felt I was finally making some progress with her for the first time in over nine months, and I could feel it all slipping away.

I was almost to the door when I realized she had stopped in the middle of the room behind me. I was about to risk looking over my shoulder when I saw Jasper and Alice appear in the hallway just outside the door. They were holding hands, and Jasper had a big grin on his face. I bit back my own smile. It was good to see him happy. I'd opened my mouth to greet them when something small, soft, and firm hit me from behind.

"Bella!" Alice exclaimed. "Do you have Biology with Edward?"

Was it wrong that I enjoyed even that random touch from her? That just her running into me made me smile?

"That's too cool!" Alice continued. "I wanted to introduce you guys. Edward, have you met Bella?"

I couldn't control the grin that spread across my face when I turned and saw that she was blushing again. I just hoped I could control my dick.

"Howdy, partner."


	3. Chapter 3: Icing

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CHAPTER 3: Icing**

I barely had time after school to run home, grab a PowerBar, a couple of bottles of water, and drive out to the ice rink. Practice was going to be my life for the next few years – many, many years if I was lucky. But that was okay; there was nowhere I felt better than on the ice. It was what I knew, what I did, and I did it well. When I was on the ice I felt in control – of my mind, my body, the puck, and most of the time, the situations around me. No one could have complete control over everything, especially in sports, but I spent an inordinate amount of time training, studying, learning, experiencing, and conditioning to ensure I could handle pretty much anything the game threw my way. And I liked that just fine.

I stripped down and grabbed my equipment, starting with compression pants and shirt, jock, and then moving on to shin guards, socks, and pants. I pulled my skates on and laced them up – making sure, as always, that the length of the laces lined up exactly – before starting to tape. I noticed a shadow cutting across the floor at my feet and sat up to see that Rick, the captain of our team, had approached my stall. I'd known Rick since we were kids. He was a senior, and I knew he really wanted a shot at the State Championship. It would be amazing, coming from a school and town as small as ours, but we had some pretty good talent on our team that just might give us a shot at it.

"Cullen," he acknowledged, sitting down beside me. He was all suited up, turning his helmet around in his hands. I stopped taping to give him my full attention. He wouldn't interrupt my pre-skate routine if it wasn't important. Rick didn't say anything for a few seconds, but I waited patiently.

"You know, Kevin left for college a couple of weeks ago," he began. Kevin was the previous team captain, another good friend we'd both known for years. "Michigan State."

I nodded, frowning a little in confusion.

He looked back down at the helmet he had in his hands. "It's a great opportunity for him." I nodded again. "Look," he continued. "I just wanted to say thanks. I mean…" He drew in a breath, and the frown deepened on my face. I had no idea what he was talking about.

"Thanks for what?" I asked when he didn't continue. I was genuinely confused.

He took another deep breath and looked me in the eye. "Look, Edward, we all know why the scouts are coming to Forks. We all know who they're really coming to see, and it isn't a bunch of small-town pond-hockey players in the boonies of northern Washington."

"Rick…" I shook my head, starting to feel uncomfortable with where he was going with the conversation.

"No, hang on and just listen. Kevin got his ride, and he deserves it. He's a good player, and he's smart. I'm heading to Denver next year. It's a great program, and I've worked hard for that, too. But we know – and we want _you_ to know that we know – that those scouts wouldn't have been out here to see us working hard if they hadn't come to see you in the first place. We wouldn't have had the chance to show them we were decent players, too. There are a couple of other guys who'll get a shot at going to school or playing for one of the bigger leagues because of you. Most of us aren't NHL material, not by a long shot, but those are opportunities we might not otherwise have had. So…thanks." He gave me a sheepish smile and slapped my back as he stood. "I don't want to get all emo on you, but Kevin and I wanted to let you know we appreciate it."

I tipped my head and sat there, stunned, as he walked away. I thought about what he said and exhaled heavily as I leaned my head back against the stall behind me. I'd been so concentrated, so focused in my own little world of performances, games, scouts and training that I hadn't realized what it might mean for everyone else. I squeezed my eyes shut, and my shoulders sagged under the additional weight. I knew Rick hadn't meant it that way, but the pressure I felt was immense. Being aware of the expectations, no matter how small, of my teammates and friends made me realize my future wasn't the only one I had to worry about. I rubbed my face and shook my head to rid it of my self-centered thoughts. It was great that I could help them by helping myself. I'd just have to be sure to step up my game.

I stayed out on the ice long after everyone else had left. I did some basic backward skating drills – crossovers, scissors – letting my body take over and my mind drift with the comforting repetition. I don't know how long I went up and down the ice, my muscles aching and my lungs burning from the extended exertion. It was a soothing, familiar sensation. I had, in the all-knowing words of the Pink Floyd song, become comfortably numb. I felt infinitely better.

"Going home sometime tonight, Cullen?" Coach's voice broke through my endorphin-induced state. I slid to a stop as I noticed him walking carefully across the ice.

"Yeah," I panted, leaning on my stick. "Sorry. Didn't mean to hold you up."

His eyes were inquiring as they rested on my face. He tipped his head to where Mac, one of the maintenance guys, waited on the Zamboni. "Figured he might want to get home before bedtime."

I wiped sweat out of my eyes, grimacing as I looked up at the huge clock at the far end of the arena. "Sorry, Mac," I called, lifting my hand in apology. I'd probably made him late for dinner.

"S'no problem, Edward," he returned, and started the machine. I skated slowly off the ice, keeping pace with Coach.

"So, what are you doing out there?" he asked as we approached the door that opened into the corridor leading to the locker rooms. I tipped my head down to look at him in surprise.

"Um, skating drills?" I said, and he gave me a light punch to the kidney.

"Don't be a smartass, Edward. You work harder than any two people on this team. That's one of the things that make you such a good player. An amazing player," he corrected himself, and I looked at him sharply. "But you don't need to be doing basics, not after that practice you just put in tonight. So what gives?"

I sighed as I made my way into the locker room. "I just…needed to skate tonight, Coach."

I felt his hand on my back through the light pads I was wearing. "Edward," he said quietly, gaining my full attention. "Don't put so much pressure on yourself. I've told you before, but I'll say it again. You're a talented player, one of the best I've ever seen. You're smart and dedicated, too. That's what's going to make you a success. That's what will get you into the NHL. You just keep on doing what you've been doing for all these years, and you'll be fine."

I let my shoulders sag for a second. "I feel like such a conceited prick," I admitted softly. "It never once occurred to me that the guys felt the way they do. I mean, I know the scouts -"

"Edward," he broke in once again. "Don't let it get to you. Rick would be pissed off if he knew what he said made you feel pressured. He was just trying to say thanks – pure and simple, no other motive. And he's right, you know. The scouts do come out here to see you, but they've found some other talent, too. You should be proud of that."

I thought about what he said. I shook my head, grinning ruefully. "Yeah, I see what you mean. I guess I really am a conceited prick, thinking it's all about me. Sorry."

Coach rolled his eyes. "You're not a conceited prick, Edward. You're a good kid – you just take things way too seriously. A conceited prick wouldn't worry about being one, would he?"

I shook my head again, and he clapped me on the back as he left. "Lighten up, kid. There's plenty of time to sweat the big stuff."

Yeah, he was right. It was just my control-freak tendencies showing up once again. I always felt like I had to take on every responsibility that floated my way. I was working on that.

**-0-**

I picked Jasper up on my way to school the next morning, just like I'd been doing ever since I got my license.

"Hey," he greeted me as he slid into the passenger seat. "How'd practice go last night?"

"Pretty good." I pulled out onto the street and took the familiar route to the high school. "You should come and skate with us sometime."

"My skatin' days are pretty much over," he said with a smile. Jasper had played on and off as we grew up, but I always did get the feeling it was more for my sake than any real passion he felt for the game. He'd played on the high school team his freshman year, but hadn't been on the ice much since then. "Maybe I'll come screw around one of these days. Might be fun."

I noticed he seemed a lot more relaxed than the last time we rode into school. "So…"

He rolled his eyes. "We doing this again, Cullen? Really?"

I grinned, realizing we'd started the conversation the exact same way the day before. "I take it things went okay with Alice?"

"Yeah. She's great." He slid me a look. "So are her friends. They're cool."

"Yeah?" I asked, trying not to be interested.

"Yeah." He smirked at me. There was an uncomfortable silence in the car until he broke out in laughter. "You might as well go ahead and ask, you douche."

"I've got nothing to say," I sulked, feeling pissy.

He laughed again. "Sure you don't." He looked at me, still grinning. "Alice asked about you last night."

"She asked about me?" I questioned, intrigued despite myself. "What the hell did she want to know?"

"She wanted to know if you were dating anybody," Jasper informed me, watching knowingly as we pulled into the parking lot and my eyes went against my will to where Bella Swan's old truck was usually parked. The spot was empty; she hadn't arrived at school yet.

"Why would she want to know that?" I thought that was weird. I'd met Alice a few times since she and Jasper had started dating, but she'd never asked me anything personal like that. I pulled into my parking space, but he just sat there with a devious look on his face. "What?"

"After I told her you weren't, she informed me that her good friend Bella Swan wasn't dating anybody, either."

My head spun around to see the smug look on his face. "Why would she tell you that?"

"Dunno." He shrugged innocently, but he was anything but innocent. "I did tell her you hadn't dated in a while – that you were kind of off girls. I mean, considering your past couple of unfortunate attempts of going out with one."

I groaned, tipping my head back against the headrest and squeezing my eyes shut. "Please tell me you didn't talk about my disastrous dating history with Bella Swan's best friend, Jasper. Please tell me you didn't."

"Edward, I don't think you can really call it a history when you've only ever kissed two girls in your entire life – and one of them you compared to kissing your sister. You don't even have a sister."

"Maybe I meant your sister," I grumbled as I followed him into the school.

"Ha!" He shook his head. "Don't let Emmett hear you say that."

Emmett had been dating Jasper's sister, Rosalie, since they were eleven years old. My big brother took one look at Jasper's blond haired, blue-eyed older sister, proclaimed she was his girlfriend, and that had been that. They'd been inseparable and perfectly matched ever since. I was like a monk compared to Emmett – hell, half the population in the United States was a monk compared to Em. His and Rosalie's sexual escapades were legendary in Forks. We were pretty much opposites. He was outgoing, extroverted, and overtly sexual, whereas I was much quieter, introverted, and kept things to myself. I was broody while he was boisterous. And I actually missed him sometimes, when I forgot how annoying he could be.

I followed Jasper to his locker as I didn't need to go to mine right away. It was located just down the hall from our first class, so I could pick up my text and notebook on my way. Besides, lockers were assigned alphabetically, and "Swan" was much closer to "Whitlock" than "Cullen". I was somewhat disappointed to see that there wasn't anyone by her locker when we got there. Jasper gave me a knowing look.

"Edward, you need to just talk to the girl. Just talk to her. If she shoots you down, then you can stop pining after her like some lonely puppy. I think you'll be surprised, though. Alice said she's really a nice person; she's just painfully shy sometimes. It's not that she doesn't like you. You probably intimidate her or something. She doesn't even know you! How can she, when you're too big of a -"

"I know, I know," I broke into his rant. He was getting The Speech wound up again. "I did talk to her yesterday in Biology." And she had seemed really shy. Maybe Jasper was on to something. Her reactions to my approaching her in the past had led me to believe that she wanted nothing to do with me, but…how she acted in class the day before made me think that maybe she was just shy. She sure blushed an awful lot. And it was so pretty…

"And how did that go?" he asked. We walked toward my locker and our first hour class, both of which were on the other side of the building.

"Okay, I guess. She didn't run away from me."

"That's good," he said encouragingly.

"Yeah, but we were kind of trapped in the room during Banner's lecture." I continued a few more feet in silence. "She didn't have much choice."

"But she talked to you, right? She didn't ignore you or refuse to look at you? She was friendly?"

"Yeah," I responded distractedly, remembering how "friendly" she had actually been – blurting stuff out in her curiosity, wondering what I had been drawing, and then there was her hand on my thigh…and elsewhere. I cheered immeasurably. "Yeah, she was friendly."

"There! See? After all the goddamn brooding you've been doing over this girl, actually talking to her wasn't the complete fucking disaster you thought it would be, was it? I was right. Go ahead, say 'Jasper was right –'"

I stopped, seeing Alice and Bella coming into the school from the quad, opening the door right in front of us. They were smiling and too pretty for words. Bella pulled the door open to allow Alice to enter first and reached out to give her a playful smack. They were obviously engrossed in their conversation, and I heard her say my name.

"…there's no way Edward Cullen would be interested in -"

"Interested in what?" I asked, vastly curious to know why she would be talking about me.

She let out a strangled scream, whirling toward me. Her book bag went flying out of her hands to land at her feet in an explosion of paper, books, and pens. She just stood there, mouth open, chest heaving and her hand clutching her jacket over her heart. I grimaced – _smooth, Cullen, really smooth_ – and bent to pick up her stuff, averting my eyes so I wouldn't stare at her boobs. They looked really nice rising and falling rapidly under her clothing and under her hand. I wanted them to be under my hand…fuck. Don't think about her boobs. Just…don't.

"Sorry, sorry," I muttered, both in apology for startling her and for thinking about her boobs heaving under my hand…ugh. _Stop!_ "I guess should have said good morning first."

I stood up and managed to smile at her, carefully placing the last of the scattered books in the bag and handing it to her. I was concentrating very intently on not getting a hard on – no way I could hide it with nothing but her book bag in my hand and one of my oldest, thinnest pairs of jeans – when she was suddenly propelled forward, tripping awkwardly over her feet and directly into my arms.

"Whoa there!" I chuckled. She smelled like girls do in the morning, all warm and soft and sweet. "Still asleep?"

She made an embarrassed noise and stood in the circle of my arms. I bent my head over her and barely refrained from shutting my eyes as I just inhaled her. I was holding Isabella Swan, something I'd been fantasizing about for months. I don't know how long I would have just stood there with her tucked against me, holding her, feeling her soft little body against mine, but a loud cough finally broke through my preoccupation with the girl against my chest. I glanced up to see Alice and Jasper staring at us with wide eyes. Jasper made a surreptitious motion with his hand, gesturing at the other people walking past us and reminding me we were standing in the middle of the main entrance. Oh, yeah.

"Bella?" I looked down at her, and she lifted her face to mine with the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. It lit her pretty features, creasing her smooth cheeks slightly and pulling at her full mouth. I smiled stupidly in return, just looking down at her. My heart thumped painfully in my chest. I was so gone for this girl.

She didn't look upset to find herself so close to me, standing against me. As a matter of fact, she looked quite happy to be right where she was and in no hurry to move. My heart began galloping wildly and I felt out of breath. I really wanted to kiss her. I actually gave it serious, deliberate consideration for a few seconds. My hands started to pull her up and my head started to descend when Jasper coughed loudly again.

She jerked at the noise, suddenly becoming aware of her position against me and the fact we were standing in the middle of the main hall of school. I scowled over the top of her head at Jazz, who was still wide-eyed with shock at what was taking place before him. Bella jerked herself out of my arms, falling backward, and I instinctively reached out to keep her from falling on her ass. She turned her head to glare at Alice and Jasper – I could only hope it was because she was mad at being disrupted from our intimate little moment. Her faced filled with brilliant crimson color, and I was actually kind of glad she wasn't standing right up against me anymore. Christ, my fucking cock twitched every time she blushed, which could be a real problem if I didn't get myself under control.

"Okay, okay," she said, taking a quick peek at the three of us before hiding behind that thick, shiny hair. "Quit staring at the human Ping-Pong ball, all of you."

I realized I was still holding on to her and reluctantly released my grip. I couldn't stop my fingers trailing down her arms, and even over her jacket she just felt…right. I could tell I'd gone a little too far – too creepy, probably – because she hunched her shoulders protectively and turned away from me.

"Thank you," she said softly, looking up at me through all that hair. I fought back a groan. I wanted to grab great big handfuls of it and sink my teeth into her lower lip. Gently. Slowly. Over and over. "For my bag and for saving me from another trip to the emergency room. I'm well acquainted with your dad."

My dad? What? Oh, emergency room. She must have seen him there sometime. I wondered why she'd been in the ER. And why was she thanking me? I was the one who had scared the crap out of her. "It's okay," I told her. "Sorry I scared you." I suddenly remembered why I had scared her in the first place. "But what wouldn't I be interested in?"

"Huh?" She stared up at me, her eyes wide and she looked a little nervous. I frowned. She probably thought I was going to grab her again or something.

"Well," I said slowly. "Just before you tossed your book bag you said 'there's no way Edward Cullen would be interested in…'" I paused for a second, worrying that I'd only imagined that she and Alice had been talking about me, but I was pretty sure that's what I had overheard. "I was wondering, what wouldn't I be interested in?"

She turned her head to give Alice a quick glance – wasn't that interesting – and then looked back up at me, biting her lip. The lip I wanted to bite. Here I'd been thinking her blush was a turn-on…Jesus, what didn't turn me on in regards to this girl? She was starting to look a little concerned again, and I had to stifle a groan of frustration. Was I really that scary, or was she really that shy?

"Uh, um, we were just talking about…uh…Biology!"

"Biology? Oh." She was totally lying. She started moving slowly down the hall and I followed, curious as to why she wouldn't tell me what they'd been discussing when my name came up in the conversation. "I don't understand," I pressed.

She peeked up at me as we walked. "Well, I was just talking with Alice about classes, how I was sure you were good in Biology, and wouldn't be interested in my opinions…"

She was rambling. I recognized it for the deflecting tactic it was – Emmett used it often enough.

"Why would you think that?" I asked, wanting to know more than ever what she and Alice had been talking about. I did a one-eighty turn and stopped in front of her, just like I was on the ice. For some reason it made me feel more confident. My hands reached out to rest on her shoulders, completely without my forethought or intent. Awesome. She gave a little shiver, and then I was rubbing slowly up and down her arms. She seemed so frail under my hands, so much smaller than me. I was pretty sure I could wrap my fingers around her bicep – even with her jacket on – and have the tips touch easily. I realized I was standing way too close to her again.

"We were just joking around, Edward," she whispered, and looked up at me.

The breath stopped in my chest. It was that look, _the_ look. The look that said maybe I'm interested. The one that said maybe I don't think you're a stupid, scary, dumb jock. The one that said…maybe. I took a careful step back, hoping I wouldn't stumble or fall on my ass. I forced my arms back to my sides. I knew I had a stupid, asinine grin on my face, but I couldn't help it.

That look gave me hope that Bella Swan just might like me a little.

I just stood in the middle of the hall, smiling and staring at her. I tried to read something more into the expression on her face, trying to get a definite confirmation that she didn't think I was a complete jackass. Of course, if I kept standing and staring, she would be correct in thinking I was a complete jackass. A movement behind her broke my inertia, and I saw Mike Newton watching us closely. He had his hands on his hips and a scowl on his face. I returned the look, giving him a clear warning. Mike looked startled and then narrowed his eyes at me before walking away.

I knew he'd asked her out – each instance was like a rock in my gut. The first time I'd overheard him was last spring, when she was with Angela at her locker and I was waiting for Jasper at his. He'd wanted to know if she'd watch him at football practice and then go out to grab something to eat afterward. It was a lame excuse for a date, but I really had no room to say anything. At least he asked her out, much unlike my chicken-shit self. She'd said no, kindly, softly, and I stood in an agony of self-disgust and jealousy. I desperately wanted to be the one asking her out on a date. I wanted to be the guy that got her to say "yes." Newton had been asking her kind of half-heartedly ever since, but she'd turned him down every time.

She didn't like football-boy, at least not in a dating kind of way, and the fact made me ridiculously happy. It meant, however, that Mike Newton had more balls than I did. At least he'd actually asked her. The situation needed to be remedied immediately. It was unacceptable that Newton had the balls to ask her out and I didn't, and that he might eventually wear her down so that she agreed to go with him. I was disgusted by the weird state of inaction that was so completely unlike me.

I was a planner. When I wanted something I did everything I could to make damn sure I got it. A lot of that went back to my control issues, and I was working on that. But a lot had to do with the fact that I liked to plan. I was good at it. And for some reason, I didn't have my usual meticulous and well thought out plan to get Bella Swan. Maybe it was because I didn't want to "get" her. I didn't want her to have to be coerced into dating me. I wanted her to want _me_. I wanted her to want to be with me, the same way I wanted to be with her. Plus, I could fail if she really didn't like me. Failure was unacceptable, which was another issue of mine. If I didn't ask her there was still possibility. There was hope. I didn't want to give that up – it, too, was unacceptable. On the other hand, if I didn't try, I'd never have even a slight chance with Bella Swan.

I watched Mike walk away. I decided right then and there I would make this happen. Judging by the look she had given me and the way she had been acting, I thought there was a chance she might not be completely against my company. The situation required further thought – and planning. I glanced back down at her and my stomach clenched. She was so pretty. I definitely had to get my head out of my ass and do something. I was being a total pussy.

"Well." I didn't want to leave her. It was the longest conversation we'd had outside of class, and wasn't that just pathetic? I felt renewed determination fill me. I don't know why she affected me like she did, but it was way past time I started acting like my usual self. And I needed to let the girl get to class. "I bet you need to get to your locker."

"Yeah," she said softly, not moving. "And then off to Trig." We both just stood there staring at each other, and I smiled to myself.

Maybe she really was just a little interested.


	4. Chapter 4: Scramble

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**CHAPTER 4: Scramble**

I made it to my first period Social Studies class with seconds to spare, sliding into my seat under the watchful eye of my best friend. He was grinning and not doing a very good job of trying to hide it.

"What the hell was that, Cullen?"

"What?" I occupied myself by opening my book and digging out a pen.

My head whipped around when Jasper leaned over and punched my shoulder. I glared at him, but he just raised his fist threateningly at me. I sighed, but couldn't hide my own grin thinking about the events of this morning.

"So…we talked."

"You talked?" His fist lowered. "You had an actual conversation with Bella Swan. You talked to her, actually spoke to her, for the first time. After nine months of lusting after the girl."

"It wasn't the first time." I scowled at him. "I talked to her yesterday, too. In Biology."

He widened his eyes. "That's twice in less than twenty-four hours. More than you have in the last…how many days are in nine months?" He sniffed dramatically and wiped away an imaginary tear. "I'm so proud of you, man."

"Shut the fuck up, Whitlock," I growled, knowing I was turning red with embarrassment.

"You sure are making up for lost time," he continued. "Jesus, Edward, I thought you were going to molest the girl in the hall this morning. What the hell was that? It looked like you were about ready to kiss her. If I hadn't gotten your attention…" His voice faded as he studied the flush intensifying in my face. I remembered how close I had come to kissing her before class. It was all I had wanted to do, with her body so close, her face turned up to mine, her mouth open and soft and just…right there.

"Oh my God!" he shouted in disbelief.

Mr. Waring glared at us. "Cullen! Whitlock! Do you mind?" Everyone in the classroom turned to stare.

"Sorry, Mr. Waring," I mumbled, even though it had been Jasper who had made the outburst. I lowered my head to hide my chagrin.

He watched us for a few more seconds, but eventually his attention returned to his lecture.

"Oh my God," Jasper hissed, disgusted. He ducked his head to my level as we both leaned forward in an attempt to whisper privately. Yeah, like that wasn't obvious. "You were, weren't you? You were going to kiss her. You wanted to kiss her! Jesus." He rubbed his hand over his face, and I tugged on my hair, grimacing. He stared at me. "Jesus, Edward, you do move fast. You go from being too chicken-shit to even speak to the girl to almost making out with her at the front entrance of school."

"We weren't almost making out," I protested in a low voice. Right? She had been in my arms and I had wanted to kiss her, but that wasn't almost making out. Besides, while I thought maybe she wasn't as disgusted by me as I had first thought, I seriously doubted she was anywhere near the point of wanting me to touch her like that. Although she had given me that "maybe" look… "Do you think she wanted to make out?" I asked hesitantly.

"How the hell should I know?" Jasper bellowed. Heads turned again.

Mr. Waring stalked over to us to stand between our desks. "Would it be too much to ask for you gentlemen to give the subject at hand your attention? Or am I going to have to separate you two like elementary school students?"

"No, Mr. Waring," we both muttered like the aforementioned elementary school kids, sending each other hostile glances from the corners of our eyes.

Any further conversation had to wait until the period ended. We both gathered our things after the bell rang, and Jasper waited until we were out in the hall to start on me.

"What the hell is going on with you?" he asked.

I sighed, slouching against the wall. I tipped my head back and shut my eyes. When I opened them, I saw that he was glancing up and down the corridor. We were attracting a little bit of attention. He smacked my arm, and we began walking once again.

"I have no idea," I admitted. I really liked this girl. I wanted to get to know her better, but… "My judgment when it comes to dating and girls isn't all that great, you know? I'm kind of worried I'm going to fuck this up somehow."

He started to say something and then sighed. "Yeah," he agreed, and I grimaced. "You've had some real winners, haven't you?"

"Gee," I muttered. "Thanks."

He shrugged. "It's because every girl who sees you throws herself at you."

"They do not," I said uncomfortably, and he stopped in the middle of the hallway. He waved a hand to our right, where a group of three girls were staring at us. They spun around, giggling, when he pointed at them. He turned to our left where two girls had stopped, both of them staring. They turned red and rushed away when he gestured. He started to turn around to face behind us, and I grabbed his arm, pushing him forward.

"Okay, okay," I muttered, embarrassed. "But it's not like any one of those girls actually give two shits about me. They all just want to date the hockey player, the doctor's son, Emmett Cullen's brother, or…" I grimaced. Or my stupid fucking face. "You know what I've been through in the past."

He looked at me sharply and then sighed. "Yeah. Yeah, you do have a point. But I really think Bella is different. She's not fake or conceited at all. She's not the type to be seeking attention or popularity, and she's definitely not a user. Just take it slow, Edward. Get to know this girl. She's shy, so you're going to have to use your charm and subtlety. Really get to know her before you jump into anything serious. Plus, she's Alice's best friend. Think of how awkward it would be if you two end up hating each other or something."

"Yeah." He was right. But, damn, every time she blushed my cock twitched. I didn't think I could trust myself to take it slow. "But I really do like this girl. I just hope I don't fuck it up, you know?"

He clapped me on the shoulder. "Don't worry. That's what I'm here for. I've got your back."

Great. The only meaningful relationship he'd ever had was only about three weeks old. This was going to be a clusterfuck; I just knew it.

I spent my free period talking to Coach Eleazar, the hockey team coach, who happened to be in his office in the Phys Ed department that day. There was no way I was ever going back into the weight room and risk running into certain members of the cheerleading squad again. I spent my second period Gym class ignoring Jasper, who was making some sort of fucked-up plans for me to talk to Bella at lunch. I instead fed basketballs to one of my teammates, Tyler Crowley, who missed the net with them about ninety percent of the time. I fought sleep during English, only coming to full attention toward the end of the period as I knew lunch, and seeing Bella, would be next.

I wondered if she'd talk to me like she did earlier that morning, or if she'd ignore me and pretend I didn't exist like she normally did. I started to get a little anxious thinking about it. I realized I was putting way too much importance on Bella Swan and her reactions to me. And then I thought I wasn't making it important enough. I wanted this girl, and I had for way too long. It was time to get to know her and see if the interest was mutual.

I met Jasper at my locker, and we walked to the cafeteria. He moved quickly, anxious to see Alice. I didn't say anything, as getting to see the girls as soon as possible was something I was okay with myself. We pushed through the door to enter the crowded and busy cafeteria to see them standing around their table with Angela Weber, laughing about something.

Jasper and I approached from behind, smiling at their good humor, and I heard Bella ask the other two girls, "How do you say 'silly rabbit, Trix are for kids' in Spanish?"

"_El conjeo tonto, Trix son para los ninos_." I responded automatically, my mind conjuring the words and my mouth spitting them out before I even knew it. I realized I wanted to show off a little for Bella, impress her, and I felt like a giant puppy. A giant, eager to please puppy. I cringed at my own asinine thoughts.

She spun toward me, obviously not aware of my presence behind her, and a chair flew out of nowhere to slam into my leg. It hurt like hell.

"Oh my God!" Bella tripped over the chair before kneeling on the ground at my feet. She stammered apologies, and I stared down at the top of her head, manfully trying not to gasp as she prodded at the sore spot just below my knee where the chair had hit. She started rubbing my calf and thigh briskly, her hand moving higher, and mine shot down to hold her wrist. If she grabbed me again like she did in Biology the day before, I didn't think I could hide my reaction – not in the middle of the lunchroom with her kneeling at my feet.

"Um, could you stand up, please?" I asked her desperately, pulling gently on her arm as her other hand came up to rest on my uninjured thigh. That one started a slow, completely mesmerizing rub, too. I didn't think she even knew what she was doing.

I stifled a groan as she looked up at me. It took every shred of my willpower not to toss her on her back and start stripping her. She knelt before me, her hand moving up my thigh, her face turned up to me, her mouth slightly open, cheeks red…just inches – inches! – away from…something that was about to become frighteningly obvious if she didn't get up off her knees. I gave another tug on her wrist, and she blushed. I had to clench my teeth against a surge of lust. Thank God she finally got up, and I hurriedly moved the chair back to the table. I held it for her so she could sit, and so it couldn't cause any more bodily harm to either of us – I hoped.

"Is that really how you say it?" Alice asked. She was looking at me, but I had no idea what she was talking about.

"I'm sure it is," Jasper finally answered, shooting me a warning glance. "Edward's a fucking genius with languages. Got a pass on taking classes, he's so good."

I glared at him. Of all the things he could have said I was good at, all the things that might actually impress a girl and not make her think I was some sort of pretentious pussy…_languages_? _Really_?

"Say it in French," Alice demanded.

I sighed, pulling out the chair next to Bella and lowering myself into it. "_Le lapin idiot, Trix sont pour les enfants_."

The girls squealed in delight, and I sent Jasper another glare. I was saved from further humiliation when Ben Cheney walked up to our table.

Angela introduced Ben to Jasper – I wasn't sure if they'd actually ever met – and he sat next to her. Jasper shook Ben's hand, and Ben asked what we were all laughing about. I mentally sighed. Project Humiliate Edward At Lunch wasn't quite over yet. Angela explained that I was bizarrely translating children's cereal slogans into foreign languages, and Alice piped up once again.

"Can you say it in German?"

"_Dummes Kaninchen, Trix sind für Kinder_." I noticed Bella staring at me and wanted to crawl under the table.

"How do you do that?" she asked me quietly.

Great. She thought I was a freak. "I'm not really sure," I admitted, not wanting to get into how these kinds of things just popped into my head. It was just there, like my ability to play the guitar or piano. I couldn't explain it. I just saw things written, or heard them, and all of a sudden they were there in my head. I could play, or speak, or read them with only a slight effort. I knew it was weird. I gave her some lame excuse, not wanting to scare her off with my oddness.

"What else?" Alice just couldn't let it go, could she? "Italian?"

Italian required just a bit more thought. "_C__oniglio sciocco, Trix sono per i bambini." _I ran the words through my head. "I'm pretty sure." Yeah, that was right.

I glanced at Bella when she made a small movement next to me. She was still staring, and I felt really self-conscious. She'd gone from ignoring me completely to giving me her undivided attention. While I wanted it – I craved it – I didn't want her giving it to me because she thought I was a freak.

"What?" I asked when she didn't take her eyes from me.

"I liked that one," she murmured. She liked the fact I was a freak? "What was that, Italian, right?"

Ah, so she had a soft spot for the Italian language. It did have a flow to it. "_Sì,_" I returned. I couldn't stop staring at her. She was just so close. "_È, la mia Bella_."

"Wow." Her eyes were wide and admiring on mine. She was _admiring_ me. I think. Her lips parted slightly as she breathed. I couldn't take my eyes off of them as they came closer and closer to mine, until her soft, pink mouth was all I could see.

A sharp, bruising pain shot from my ankle up to my knee, and I jumped in surprise. "Christ, Jasper, that's the leg that just got tagged with the chair." He'd kicked me under the table, and I glared at him.

He returned the look with a meaningful eye roll toward Bella. I glared more, and he brought his hands up to make a "slow down" motion. Alice watched us suspiciously. I sighed, hanging my head. I was doing it again. At least Jasper had brought me back to my senses before I could do anything really stupid, like toss her on the floor and follow her down, stripping and throwing our clothes over the top of the table like a bad sit-com. But I really kind of wanted to.

"Oh, God, Edward, I'm so sorry about your leg…"

She looked worried, like maybe she was going to grab me again. Not that I didn't want her to, but if she did, the clothes tossing would commence. I really did wish she'd stop apologizing to me all the time. It kind of made me feel like some sort of girl-molesting villain. That hit too close to home, considering how I felt about her.

"Quit saying that." I didn't mean for my voice to sound so defensive, but…jeez, this girl had my head and my libido spinning out of control.

Her eyes searched my face and a cute little frown crossed her features. "Quit sneaking up on me," she demanded, a spark of challenge in her eyes. Holy shit. There went that libido, right off the charts. She was amazing.

I was by nature a competitive person and male. No way could I let that challenge pass. "I'm so sorry." I mimicked her constant apologizing with a raised brow, emphasizing my dare.

"Don't be an ass."

I instinctively leaned in closer to her as she met and returned my salvo. "Don't be an idiot." I let it fly, knowing it would cause her cheeks to heat in annoyance. God, she was gorgeous when she was riled.

Her brown eyes narrowed in irritation and her lips parted on a huff of air. I squirmed in my chair, completely caught up in her. The blood rushed through my veins with the exhilaration of our little skirmish and the fact she could keep up with me, that I wasn't intimidating her. I needed to have her mouth under mine soon, no doubt about it. I waited with keen anticipation for what she'd throw at me next.

"Don't be –"

"Children!" Alice interrupted us, and I wanted to shout with frustration.

I kept my eyes on Bella's and saw a hint of heat, of want, flash across her face. It took all of my considerable willpower to not grab her and take her mouth. It was so close to mine. She wasn't shying away; she was actually leaning in closer, just inches from me. I could smell the clean, fresh heat coming off her skin. She was tense, staring at my mouth, and I caught my breath in surprise and anticipation. I knew what a girl looked like when she wanted to be kissed. Bella was in my personal space and was showing all the signs. Her eyes roved from my mouth to my hair, down to my chest, and back to my mouth again, alight with interest and greed. I wanted to take advantage of this momentary crack in her shields, and holy fuck did I want to kiss her after fantasizing about it for so many months. I licked my lips, and dimly heard a loud throat-clearing from across the table.

I wanted to bang my head in frustration. Four sets of eyes were watching us in amazement. As much as I wanted to kiss her, I didn't want it to be under the scrutiny of our friends and in front of the entire lunchroom. I knew I wouldn't be satisfied with a brief sample, a quick touch. I wanted to sink into the girl, lose myself in the warm, wet slide of lips and tongue; of sharp, heated sensation; of crashing hearts and surging blood. I was becoming much more confident that it would happen eventually, and I'd waited too long to not do it right. I enjoyed kissing – quite a lot, actually – and I wondered how much more I would enjoy it when I was kissing the right person. I couldn't wait to kiss Bella Swan.

I forced myself to sit back in my chair, and the others jumped immediately into conversation – like that wasn't obvious. I sighed, willing the tension out of my body and risked a glance at Bella. She had reached for her bag and pulled out something that I was sure had once resembled a sandwich – peanut butter and jelly, from the looks of what was smeared and smashed inside the plastic sandwich bag. I instantly felt a wave of guilt. I was more than likely responsible for her ruined lunch, having caused her to throw it across the hall earlier that morning when I had startled her. I looked at the food piled on my lunch tray, and calculated that if I got a snack later, I could certainly share what I had. I owed her that, at least. Plus, there was something very satisfying about supplying her with food to eat. I liked the idea, even if I wasn't exactly sure why.

"Here, help yourself. I always get more than I can eat, anyway." That wasn't true, but I figured as shy as she was, she wouldn't take anything from me without some prompting. She protested, but I insisted. "Seriously. Dig in, it's fine."

She thanked me with a shy but pleased smile, reaching out hesitantly to take an apple that balanced precariously on one edge of the tray. I didn't even remember getting an apple. I pulled a small plastic plate with a large slice of pizza on it and sacrificed that to her. She stared at it for a second and then smiled at me again. It was so worth being hungry later.

That was the first day I ate lunch with Bella Swan.


	5. Chapter 5: Grinder

**Smeyer owns, not I.**

**Thanks to SunKing and Sarahsumbrella for their help and beta skill and being awesome friends.**

**Thanks to you guys for reading, reviewing, and rec-ing. Each comment is a very bright spot in my day and makes the effort so worth it!**

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CHAPTER 5: Grinder**

I was still a little pissed at Jasper the next day at school. I hadn't been able to stop worrying about Bella thinking I was some sort of freak for rattling off foreign languages like a human version of translation software.

"I can't believe you told her I was a genius with languages yesterday," I bitched at him.

"What the hell are you talking about, Cullen?" he asked in confusion. I heaved a sigh. There was no way I could explain the unfamiliar emotions the girl caused inside me, let alone put them into words.

"She already saw me writing down musical notes in Biology. She's totally going to think I'm a chick."

He laughed as we walked to our gym lockers. "I don't see how she could, what with you being such a hot-shot hockey player…and the size of your dick."

I snorted with laughter. "What do you know about the size of my dick, asshole?"

"Well, I know -" We both turned our heads at the noise behind us. Crowley stood staring at us with wide eyes.

"What?" I demanded irritably, pulling out my gym clothes.

"Well, I…um…" His eyes darted back and forth between Jasper and me. "I just wanted to ask you a question, Cullen."

"Okay." I turned to face him, hoping he'd get on with it.

"I…well, I heard that you and Lauren…that you took Lauren down to First Beach this past summer and spent all night making out and…stuff."

"_What?_" My voice was alarmingly shrill with shock.

He held up his hands and took a step back. "Hey, it's just what I heard. I was thinking about asking her out, but I figured if you were interested in her or something…"

Jasper was making choking noises as he clutched the side of his locker, hiding his face inside.

"Where did you hear that?" I demanded. "From Lauren? Did she say that?"

"No, man, I just heard it…around. You know?"

"No, I don't know." I clenched my teeth. "I have never been anywhere near Lauren," I said clearly. "I never took her to First Beach or anywhere else. I have absolutely no interest in that…" I caught myself. I couldn't say what I wanted to say – that she made my skin crawl with all her staring and creepy, suggestive comments. After all, Crowley had just told me he wanted to ask her out, so he must like her. "I have no interest in that girl. Never have, never will. Go for it."

I shook my head as Tyler walked away. Stupid fucking rumors. They always seemed to follow me around no matter what I did – or didn't – do. I glanced at Jasper in disbelief, noting that his face was bright red from suppressed laughter. "It's not funny," I said defensively. "Lauren Mallory." I shuddered. "Fucking hell."

"You know what you need?" Jasper asked, still trying not to laugh as we finished changing and sat on the bench to put on our gym shoes.

"No," I said shortly, hoping it would discourage him. It didn't.

"You need a girlfriend. Seriously."

I arched a brow, and from somewhere along a different row a disembodied voice called, "I thought _you_ were his girlfriend, Whitlock." That witticism was followed by muffled laughter.

"Shut the fuck up!" we both yelled at exactly the same time. We stared at each other. There was a short silence and then more laughter. Jasper stood and slammed his fist against the metal locker for emphasis before hurrying out of the room.

I set my elbows on my knees and put my head in my hands. Fuck my life.

I was looking forward to seeing Bella at lunch, especially since I had Jasper and Alice as an excuse to sit with her. I wanted to say or do something that would show her that I was really cool and manly instead of kind of weird and girly. The only thing that kept coming to mind was sitting on her and pounding my chest any time another guy walked by. A grin twitched at my mouth at this ridiculous mental image. I was surprised at the strength of the urge and ended up just sitting on my hands next to her through the entire period. I only took them out from underneath me to eat. When I began to imagine adding a Tarzan yell to my clutching, grabbing, and sitting on her scenario, I knew I better leave before I either burst out laughing or actually did it – neither of which would help with the smooth, masculine image I was trying to portray. Plus, I was supposed to be taking this slowly. _Riiiiight_.

I reluctantly excused myself from the table and wandered over to where my teammates were eating lunch. I really wanted to stay with Bella, but I didn't want to embarrass myself by doing something totally stupid in front of her. I cooled my possessive urges by forcing myself to listen to Crowley and Yorkie argue about the mystery meat being served for lunch. It was a struggle to sit there and pay attention to their ridiculous conversation when I could see Bella casting me looks, like she was kind of hoping I'd come back and sit with her. It might have been my wishful thinking, though, so I forced myself to stay where I was until the end of lunch because…Yeah. Me Tarzan. I finally gave it up just before the bell and went over to her so we could walk to Biology together. I watched her carefully to see if I was pushing it a little too much, but she seemed happy to have me walk with her.

We didn't have much opportunity to talk during class, but I was glad to just be able to sit next to her again. She rolled her eyes when I drew a tic-tac-toe grid, but didn't hesitate to mark her "x" in the box. We played to draw after draw, both of us hunched over the paper, trying not to laugh while pushing it surreptitiously back and forth. I started drawing funny faces and crazy hair on my "o's", and she turned red from holding in her amusement. She scribbled a note saying it looked like my hair, and I scowled, running my hands through it. I knew it was out of control most of the time, but it wasn't that bad, was it? Yeah, it probably was. She looked horrified, thinking she had hurt my feelings, but I just shook my head and wrote that I agreed with her. We eventually grew bored with the silly game, and I spent the rest of the class sneaking looks at her. It was creepy, but I couldn't help it. The urge was there to ask her out, even though I knew Jasper was right. I needed to get to know the girl first before jumping right into dating her. That kind of impulsive action is what had led to my disastrous dating history, and I liked to think I learned from my mistakes

But I really did want to see her over the weekend. I didn't want to lose whatever advantage I'd gained over the past three days. I worried that if I was away from her for two days in a row I'd lose all of my hard-won progress. I convinced myself that a casual, get to know you get-together wouldn't be bad. I wouldn't be jumping into anything – dating, a relationship – I'd just be getting to know her better. I spent most of the next fifty minutes coming up with and discarding ways to casually ask if I could see her over the weekend. I had practice that night, and I knew I'd be pretty wiped out afterward, but there was Saturday night. I could ask her out to dinner, but that might be too intimate and too "datey." I could ask her to a movie, but again, too date-like and we wouldn't have much chance to talk. A movie would mean sitting in the dark with her for a couple of hours, feeling nervous and wondering what she was thinking. What if she didn't like the movie? What if she got bored and just sat there because she thought I wanted to? What if she didn't like popcorn? What if…I was completely insane? What if I just fucking asked her out on a date? Jesus.

I wasted fifty minutes of being with her worrying about how to be with her more. I shook my head at myself. I was being a complete ass. The bell rang, and I sighed in defeat. I wouldn't see her until Monday. I watched her collect her things and waited for her before we moved away from the table.

"So," she said, arranging her books in her arms. I should really offer to carry them for her, but that might be a little pushy at this point. "Any big plans for the weekend?"

_Perfect opportunity, Cullen_, I thought. _Ask the girl to have plans with you._

"No, not really. Practice." _Pussy_. "That's pretty much my life for the next few months until hockey season is over. Then I start league play. More practice." I wanted to punch myself. "You?"

"No, I don't play. Or practice." She grinned at me. I stared at her mouth, and then forced myself to shake it off and pay attention to the conversation.

"Ha. You on skates. Pretty…scary." I had to smile at the image of her on the ice, all flushed and unsteady, her arms flailing and her ankles bending and wobbling, and me swooping in to hold her and steady her with my body. Oh, I really wanted to take the girl skating. "No, I meant, are you doing anything fun this weekend?"

"Nah. No big plans." She stopped; we were out in the hall and I had to get to Trig. She looked up at me, and I _saw_ myself asking her out. I _heard_ my voice saying _hey, do you want to go catch a movie on Saturday, then_?

That all happened in my head, but in reality I just stood there like a complete dumbass.

"Well." She bit her lip and looked away, shifting uncomfortably. "Have fun at practice," she finally said, taking a reluctant step backward. "Guess I'll see you Monday."

"See you Monday, Bella." The words stuck in my throat. I didn't want her to leave_. Fucking ask her!_ I commanded myself, but the best I could force from my tight throat was, "If you need help with your Biology homework, give me a call." _Please, give me a call._

It wasn't until I'd walked away that I realized I hadn't even given her my number.

It wasn't often that I came home completely rubber-legged and mentally exhausted from practice, but that night I did. I wolfed down leftovers from dinner and spent the next hour soaking my sore muscles in the hot tub. When I was weak with relaxation instead of exhaustion, I said goodnight to Mom who was sitting on the sofa reading, and Dad, who was in his study going over some files. I wandered upstairs to my room, which was located on the third floor of the house, and changed out of the damp towel and my wet swim trunks. I put on a sweatshirt and loose shorts and went into the music room. It took up one side of the third floor, just off my bathroom. My body was tired, but my brain was still going full-force. I needed to wind down, so I started messing around on the piano.

I played whatever came to mind and let the music soothe me. I could play with decent skill, but I didn't kid myself that I'd ever be any better than decent. I was completely okay with that fact. I'd broken my fingers way too many times to have the dexterity to play the piano – or the guitar –with any sort of expertise. Playing and writing music relaxed me, and I was better than average at it. But playing hockey fed my soul, and I was much, much better than average at that. I worked hard to excel on the ice, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I screwed around on the instrument until my mind was finally at peace, and then I went to bed.

**-0-**

Jasper came over the next morning, and we hung out for most of the day. After he left to get ready for his date with Alice, Crowley called to see if I wanted to catch a movie with him, Yorkie, and Rick. It was a movie I had wanted to see, so I said I'd go. I felt a brief second of disappointment – I'd wanted to ask Bella to go see it with me – but I said I'd go with the guys because I was a total wuss. Who knew when I'd grow a pair and actually ask the girl out on a date?

We decided to grab something to eat at The Diner before heading to the theater in Port Angeles. It was one of the places where everyone from school hung out on the weekend, the place to see and be seen. It also had great food. Chelsea, the hostess, was a senior at our school and had made it pretty apparent in the past that if I'd ask, she'd go. See, I could totally read her – why not Bella Swan?

"Where are you guys headed tonight?" she asked me, seating us at a table in the middle of the restaurant.

"Oh, movie in Port Angeles later. Thanks." I took my menu and opened it, burying my face behind the pages.

"Really? That sounds fun. I'm working until nine." She paused hopefully. I took great interest in the list of appetizers, even though I knew what The Diner offered by heart.

"Hm," I returned noncommittally, and ignored the kick I got under the table from one of the guys.

"Well…" she lingered for a second, watching me. "Enjoy your meal."

"Thanks," I mumbled, turning another page in the menu. I cautiously peeked over the top to be sure she'd left before I lowered it. The other three guys were staring at me. "What?"

"At least we'll get good service with Cullen here," Yorkie laughed.

I rolled my eyes. "So I'm only along for the attention factor?" It made me really uncomfortable when they said shit like that.

"It doesn't hurt." Crowley grinned at me.

I grimaced, knowing they were only half-joking. I'd known these guys since we were kids, and we really were good friends. I also knew they enjoyed the attention they got when they were with me, with the exception of Rick, maybe, and used it shamelessly. It bothered me when I really thought about it, but I was mostly resigned to the fact. A group of four girls stopped by the table to chat, moving along reluctantly when our waitress, another girl we went to school with named Jenny, showed up to take our order.

After she left, the four of us talked about practice the night before, the first few days of classes, teachers, the usual. Jenny came back with trays bearing our appetizers, and we dug in while we waited for our dinners.

"Did we order all this?" I glanced at the food piled around us.

Crowley laughed. "No. But thanks."

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

He rolled his eyes. "I'm pretty sure Jenny's trying to impress you with some extra appetizers."

Huh. I was pretty sure she was just being nice.

"She was totally checking you out, Yorkie," Rick joked, and we grinned at each other as he spun in his seat to look at Jenny serving a group of kids a few tables away.

"Really? Well, she is pretty cute…"

We enjoyed the show as Yorkie crashed and burned when she brought us our dinners. While we ate, a few more groups of girls stopped at our table on their way through the dining area. It ended up taking more time than we thought to finish eating. We debated about ordering dessert or stopping on the way to Port Angeles to get some candy to eat in the theater during the movie. I glanced at my cell phone to check the time.

"We'd better get going if we're going to make it," I told the guys.

I double-checked the tip to make sure what we'd left had been better than adequate. I liked Jenny. She did a good job dealing with our bullshit and had always been friendly without being _too_ friendly. I so appreciated that. Crowley and Yorkie were poking at each other, and Rick was trying to separate them as we made our way to the front. I nodded at a couple of people who called out, checking my pocket for my keys. I glanced up when we stopped in front of the cashier, and shock stopped the air in my lungs as I looked into the brown eyes of Bella Swan. God, she was exactly who I wanted to see. Suddenly, a horrible thought struck me, and I couldn't breathe at all. _Was she there with a date_?

While the other guys paid their bills, I stalked over to where she stood, glancing around to see who she was with. I was being completely obvious and couldn't have cared less. I was too busy trying to keep my temper under wraps at the thought she might be there with someone. A guy someone.

"Bella." I did try to hide the fact that I was examining her. Her hair wasn't mussed; her face wasn't flushed, her lips were pink and smooth, not rough and swollen like they'd been kissed. I didn't see anyone standing near her, like they were with her, and she didn't glance around, like she was waiting for someone to appear. I took a deep breath, finally able to breathe once I saw the evidence she wasn't with another guy. It bothered me more than it should. I wrestled the inappropriate feeling of possessiveness into submission and just barely managed to keep the growl out of my voice. "Fancy meeting you here."

"Hi, Edward." She peeked up at me through her hair, and her cheeks did flush. God, I loved it.

"What are you up to?" I asked, trying for casual. The tension in my shoulders and my clenched hands belied that act. If she said she was there on a date, it would take Crowley, Yorkie, Rick, and anyone else they could rustle up to hold me back. I knew it wasn't rational, but I didn't feel rational when it came to Bella Swan.

"Oh, um, movie night tonight." Movie night? Was she going with someone to the movies? I scowled, knowing that if she showed up at the same movie theater we were going to with a date, I'd probably lose my shit altogether.

"Yeah, us, too. We're heading to Port Angeles to catch _The Heist_." I glanced around again, but there was still no sign that anyone was with her. "Hey, do you, um, want to come with us?"

I froze, shocked at my horrible timing. The words I had been wrestling with for days had finally left my mouth at the worst possible moment. I'd wanted to ask her to go to the movies with me, but I certainly didn't want to ask her like this. I didn't want the first time I went out with her to be when I was with the guys. They were good friends, but definitely not date material. I'd been so caught up in wanting her to be with me, and not whomever she might be with that night, that I'd just blurted it out without thinking. She better not be with anyone. I had a mental image of her standing in front of me, holding someone else's hand, and felt that wicked temper of mine start to boil. I'd never had a girl affect me this way, at such a basic, fundamental level, but Bella completely destroyed my usual cautious detachment.

"Cullen!" I jerked in surprise at Yorkie's voice in my ear. I had no idea he had come up right behind me. He eyed Bella with interest, and I almost snarled. He reminded me I still had to pay for my dinner, and that we had to get going if we were going to make the start of the movie.

"Shut up, Yorkie. I'll be there in a second."

He held up his hands and backed away, grinning like an idiot.

I turned back to Bella, hardly daring to look at her after my sloppy invitation. She seemed uncomfortable, and I groaned internally. I really had fucked that up royally.

"Um, thanks," she stammered. "But no. Don't want to ruin boys' night out, right?" She gave me an insincere smile. One of the busboys came up to the counter and placed a carryout bag and a Styrofoam cup with a lid and a straw in front of her. "Besides, I've already got -"

"Plans," I breathed in relief. I hadn't realized how tense I was until my entire body relaxed at the sight of her dinner. It was a small carry-out bag and a single cup – just one, just for her. She wasn't out on a date. It didn't look like she was at The Diner with anybody. The relief I felt was definitely out of proportion to what I should feel about a girl I had really only just met, no matter that I'd been infatuated with her for months. If I had my choice, I wouldn't be having a boy's night out; I'd be out with her. But I wasn't.

I saw my three friends huddled in a circle, whispering and quite obviously watching us. I cringed. "Hey, sorry about the guys, they're just…" I gestured helplessly, at a loss for words to describe them. They gave me leering glances as they walked past us, heading for the door.

She gave me another smile, just as fake as the first, and stepped around me to pay her bill. "No problem, Edward. Have fun at the movie." She took her change from Chelsea, the cashier, with a more sincere smile and a soft thank you. It reminded me I hadn't paid yet, and I dug out some cash.

Bella paused as she turned to leave. I was still standing in front of her. Color touched her cheekbones, and I admired it as I stared. Her tongue came out, chasing the straw sticking out of her drink before finally capturing it. She met my gaze, wrapping her lips around the red and white striped straw, her cheek hollowed as she took a hard suck.

A hard suck.

I almost pounced on her.

Hollowed cheeks. Pursed lips. Around the straw. There was only so much I could take.

I forced my eyes to stay on Bella's and not on her mouth as I stepped forward until I was only inches away from her. I was purposely invading her space, bringing my arm up slowly, almost brushing against her as I laid the bill and money on the counter. I wanted to see if I could get a reaction from her. I didn't really believe she really knew the effect her actions had on me, but I felt the need to prove – if only to myself – that I wasn't the only one aware that something might be happening between us.

Bella gasped, the straw falling away from her mouth as she stared at me in shock and surprise, and then those beautiful eyes narrowed as she realized what I was doing. Satisfaction filled me. She _did_ feel something.

"Here you go, Edward." Chelsea's overly loud voice brought me out of the intimate bubble the little exchange had created. "Have a good night."

"Yeah," I murmured absently. "I will." I smiled down at Bella, wishing I were spending my night with her. I couldn't stop my finger from reaching out and just barely brushing the tiny, glinting drop of frost that had fallen off the chilly straw onto her pretty skin. I dropped my hand and made my way quickly out the door before I could do anything even creepier.

I walked out to the parking lot, my hands buried in the pockets of my jacket, frowning and thinking back to my impromptu invitation. I didn't think she'd actually turned me down, because I hadn't actually asked her out. Had I? No, it was more of a casual _hey, do you want to tag along with us?_ And no wonder she'd said no. Who wanted to be asked to tag along, almost like an afterthought? That wasn't how I'd meant it, not at all. Bella was never an afterthought in my mind. I'm sure that's how it had sounded, though, and I felt terrible. I wanted to go back and explain what I'd meant, that I'd actually really rather be out with her than the guys. I wanted to go back and re-do that entire conversation. I didn't want her to think I was just some shallow jerk. Hell, I just _wanted_.

I sighed, feeling a little miserable. I hated when one stupid encounter, just a few dumb words, could ruin an entire night. I knew I was going to obsess over everything I had said, and how she'd taken it. I realized I was almost to my car where the other guys were standing around waiting for me to unlock the doors. I also became aware they were talking about me.

"What the hell is up with Cullen and the Swan girl?" I couldn't tell who said that – I think it was Yorkie.

"Dunno, but she's kinda hot, in that quiet, book-girl kind of way." That was definitely Rick.

"Mm, it's the quiet ones, you know…" Crowley. I felt my temper rise. I didn't want them talking about her like that. I quickened my steps.

"Did you see him staring at her when she sucked on that straw? Jesus, I thought we were going to have an incident right there on the front counter of The Diner. And I see enough of his bare ass in the locker room."

"Yeah, she was sucking on that milkshake…"

They broke out into song. _My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like, it's better than yours, I could teach you, but I have to charge…_

I was torn between wanting to smack the shit out of them and howling with laughter as they danced around in a circle, singing and shaking their stupid asses. Their voices faded and they came to a standstill as they became aware of me glaring at them.

"Oh, hi, Cullen!" Crowley said in an overly cheerful voice. "We thought you'd stopped to get a…milkshake." There were snickers and snorts of laughter.

"That's enough," I said warningly, reaching into my pocket for my keys.

"She's cute, Cullen. Really cute." Yorkie arched his brows at me.

"Drop it." I sent them each a glare. I didn't want the subject of Bella Swan tossed around. She wasn't locker room fodder.

"Yeah, but what the hell was that?" Crowley wasn't known for his brilliance. After one look at my face, Rick tried to shut him up, but he just continued to blather. "I mean, asking if she wanted to come with us. It's bros not hos tonight, man, remember?"

I caught a movement out of the corner of my eye, and my heart leapt as I saw Bella hurrying to her truck. She had her head bent, fumbling the keys in her hand and clutching the white carryout bag to her chest. Her head came up as she passed us, and she looked directly at me. The expression on her face was somewhat sad and upset. My stomach dropped. I wondered if she overhead what that asshole Crowley had said, and if she thought I had encouraged the conversation. Jesus, could that night get any worse where she was concerned? I wanted to run over to her truck and apologize to her until she blushed and smiled at me.

I settled for giving Crowley a cool, serious stare. "I said drop it." My voice was hard and quiet. They recognized it as one that meant business, and they shifted guiltily. "Now."

"Sorry," Crowley muttered, grabbing the door and pulling it open as soon as he heard the click that meant I had unlocked the doors with the fob.

"Sorry," Yorkie mumbled, running to the other side to get in the back next to Crowley.

"Sorry." Rick looked longingly at the back, before sighing and moving to get into the front passenger seat.

I rolled my eyes. Great. There was nothing like spending an evening with a bunch of pouty, moody hockey players. I snorted at myself. Who was I kidding? I was the worst of the bunch.


	6. Chapter 6: Odd Man Rush

**SMeyer's, not mine.**

**My appreciation to Sarahsumbrella and SunKing for beta-ing the mess.**

**Thank you guys for reading. Thank you so much for the reviews and comments. It's what's keeping me going.**

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**CHAPTER 6: Odd Man Rush**

The next few weeks were both the most frustrating and most enjoyable of my life. I was with Bella, but I wasn't. We went out, but not together – or at least, not alone. We hung out almost all the time because of our friends. We went out with Jasper and Alice, with Ben and Angela joining us quite often. It got to the point that it was expected she and I would join the other couples. We had settled into something of a comfortable routine. We ate lunch together practically every day, went out on the weekends with our friends, even sat together at football games when the others were paired off with each other. We were friends. We talked all the time – in school, at the activities we all attended together, the places we went with everyone. I talked to her more than anyone else I knew, other than Jazz or Emmett, even though we hadn't quite graduated to that talking on the phone point in our kind-of relationship. I simply enjoyed being with her, and it was so easy. We got to be friends.

We were together so much that people at school actually started to assume we were dating, which suited me just fine. Well, except for the part where we weren't. The guys from the team would ask me if I wanted to go out with them and then stop themselves, saying stuff like "Oh, yeah, you're probably going with Bella to the football game." I wouldn't say anything – confirm or deny – and then I'd end up at the football game with Bella. I had no idea if she was aware of the rumors going around about us, but it didn't seem to bother her if she was. I had backed myself into a corner where I was kind of seeing her without taking any of the risks of dating, but also without any of the real benefits, either.

One of the good things was that Newton was beside himself with jealousy. He sneered at me in the hallway, especially if I happened to be walking with Bella. I'd give him my best smirk back and hover over the girl, feeling completely stupid, like I was staking my claim or something. She wasn't mine to claim, but he didn't know that, and I took shameless advantage. It did become apparent that I'd have to get off my ass and soon. The more I was with her the more I found I really liked her – and not just in a "you're beautiful and I'd like to get into your pants" way. I really liked her. I'd had a crush on her last year, had been infatuated when we first met, but…The more I got to know her the more I really, really liked the girl. I wanted all the benefits.

The time I'd spent with Bella over the past couple of months made me certain she was the real deal – genuine, shy, and kind. I'd unfortunately been burned way too many times in the past by people of all ages and sexes who wanted to use me for who I was, what I did, who I was related to, or how I looked. I'd learned not to take people at face value, but I was as sure as I could be that Bella really was interested in me for _me_, not those other superficial things or her own self-interest. I'd been a pussy, not asking her out, existing in this weird pseudo-dating limbo, but I felt justified in taking my time and being cautious considering my past dating history. I'd certainly learned from my mistakes.

And I was pretty sure she was interested in me as something more than a good buddy. I had caught her watching me sometimes, the kind of watching that a girl who was interested in a guy would do – the long, lingering looks, the glancing away when I'd catch her and trying to act like she hadn't been, the quick peeks out of the corner of her eye when she thought I wasn't paying attention. But I was always paying attention to her, even when she thought I wasn't. She wasn't like most of the other girls in school. I didn't think that her staring was simply because of my stupid fucking face. I'd had experience with way too many people interested in me just for my looks or ability, and it was damn frustrating. It was hard to tell who was sincere and honest, and so tiring trying to figure it out, constantly being on guard. It was one of the reasons I was so careful around people until I got to know them. I'd taken the time to get to know Bella, and I just felt good when I was with her.

September moved into October. The Homecoming Dance was coming up, and I knew that if I didn't ask her to the stupid thing, I'd never forgive myself. If someone else made their move while I was running around being a pussy, well…It'd totally be my fault, but I'd still be pissed. So I made up my mind – I was going to ask Bella Swan to the Homecoming Dance. It was the perfect opportunity to ask her to go out with me officially, formally, and with no mistake or possibility that it could be construed as just hanging out together as friends.

Of course, as soon as I decided to make a move, our practices stepped up in intensity. The first hockey game of the season was scheduled for the weekend after Homecoming. It seemed I was constantly in a state of mental and physical exhaustion. There had been talk of college scouts coming to some of our games, and I knew I had to be prepared. Dad had also told me that some college recruiters had contacted him and were going to be at an upcoming Vancouver Canucks game. They'd expressed an interest in meeting me, as had the Canucks organization. It wasn't the first time I'd talked to or met with recruiters from colleges or the NHL, but it was getting more serious. I would probably have to make a decision about which college I was going to attend by the end of my junior year.

My mom and dad and I had talked it over pretty extensively and decided that I would graduate from college before playing hockey professionally. It was a hard decision, as most of the high caliber players started in the NHL right out of high school, but in the end I agreed with my parents. I wanted a college education – that had been something that my family held in high esteem, and no one could predict how long my NHL career would actually last. I wanted to play professional hockey more than anything, but there were other things I eventually wanted to do, as well. We'd also decided that I'd wait until after I had graduated to participate in the NHL Entry Draft, but I was still interested in what the different organizations had to say. In the Entry Draft, the NHL teams drafted and signed players, but I could still play college hockey until I graduated before joining the team that signed me. I'd be eligible for the upcoming Draft, which occurred every June, but since I wasn't planning on playing professionally until after college, waiting one more year would only be a benefit. It would give me additional time to train, condition, and develop physically.

When Dad told me that the scouts were going to be at the game scheduled for the same weekend as the Homecoming Dance, I wanted to pound my head against the ice in frustration. Of course. Didn't it figure? Dad was all about making plans for the two of us to go to Vancouver that weekend, hang out, catch the game, meet with the scouts, the whole big father-son trip. Normally I would have been excited to go as he as I always had a blast together, but the stupid fucking dance I wanted to ask Bella to had to be the same weekend. It never occurred to my dad I'd want to go to the dance instead of going with him to Vancouver, because I'd never gone to a school dance before in my life. I'd never had any desire to go, and there'd never been a girl I wanted to go with. But of course this time there was – and it was the same weekend I should be meeting with scouts, talking about my career and my future.

I couldn't help but feel Bella Swan might be part of my future, too.

I knew it sounded overdramatic – especially since I hadn't even been out on an actual date with the girl, let alone kissed her or established any sort of romantic, intimate relationship with her – but the feeling wouldn't go away. She just felt right to me. Perfect for me. I thought about her all the time. I wanted more. It was time to do something about it.

I was unsettled, fidgety, and anxious, and it had nothing to do with the first game of the season that was fast approaching, or meeting the scouts in Vancouver. It was all about Bella Swan. The Friday before Homecoming, I finally decided I was going to have to turn to Alice for help. She was Bella's best friend, and I was at the point where I wasn't above using that connection to find out if she thought Bella would go to the dance with me. I found myself driving over to Jasper's after school, knowing that Alice would show up there eventually.

"Hi, Edward," Mrs. Whitlock greeted me. "Jasper's in his room. Jasper, honey!" she called. "Edward's here." She beamed at me. "Did your parents get the latest note from Rosalie and Emmett? He's doing so well. They seem to be enjoying college so much."

I smiled noncommittally. They were enjoying something about college, but I knew it had more to do with being unsupervised and on their own together than any educational opportunities.

"Go on up," she encouraged me. "He probably has his earphones in."

I nodded and went up the stairs, knowing my way around the Whitlock home as well as I knew my way around mine. I pushed his door open without knocking, and he smirked at me in the reflection of the mirror.

"Bitch," he greeted me.

"Jackass," I acknowledged.

With the pleasantries over, I sighed and lay across his bed, picking up the latest issue of _Rolling Stone_ he had lying there. "Bourgeois crap," I teased him.

"You know I love it when you speak Spanish, handsome," he mock growled at me, and I laughed. I was feeling better already.

I flipped over on my back and watched curiously as he licked a finger and pressed a stray lock of blond hair down. Yeah, like that would help. His hair was almost as bad as mine. "Primpin', Big Daddy?

He tossed one of his fucking fedoras on his head and tweaked the brim. He had something on his iPod I could hear, even though I was sitting across the room – Chuck Berry? What the fuck? "Are you seeing Alice later?" I asked, wanting to know for my own nefarious purposes and trying to find a reason for the unusual concern over his looks.

He grinned. "Oh, yeah. She's on her way over now." He shot me a look out of the corner of his eye. "She's coming to your first game of the season with me. We're going to try to get Bella to come with us, too."

I started to say something, hoping maybe he had some insight to offer, or could at least commiserate on the mysterious workings of the female mind, but suddenly the reason for the music came to me. "The fifties stuff you're listening to wouldn't have anything to do with a certain young lady wearing a poodle skirt to school today, would it?"

He got a really weird, dreamy look on his face, an expression I'd never seen before. "A poodle skirt." He shook his head, and the weird look was gone. He met my eyes.

"Only Alice," we said together, and laughed.

He tossed off the fedora – thank Christ – and picked up a brown leather jacket. Okay, that was going too far. "I'm telling you right now, Jazz, you start getting all _Happy Days_ on me and 'ehhhay' with the thumbs and shit, I won't be able to control myself. I'll be all over your pretty little bitch ass."

He laughed. "Yeah, but that motorcycle was way cool." We both paused and considered that.

I broke out of the contemplation and shook my head again. "The good Doctor Cullen would have a coronary if I even mentioned wanting a motorcycle." Not to mention Coach.

"Yeah," Jasper sighed. "So would Commander Whitlock. Hmm, I might have to think on that one a little more." He gave his reflection one last look. "I dunno, maybe I could beat my hair into one of those – whaddya call it? – duckasses or something?"

"It would take a whole truck of that grease shit. Truck _loads_." He took the jacket off and threw it at me. I batted it away, and it landed on the bed. "Anyway, the whole fifties fantasy thing is kinda starting to creep me out," I admitted. "That red-headed Ron Howard shit." I shuddered. "Ugh."

"Yeah, but Joanie really did love Chachi," he said, and I looked at him incredulously before busting out laughing. He came out with the weirdest shit sometimes. The boy was just like that.

"How do you know about fucking _Joanie Loves Chachi_?" I managed to gasp. "That was, like, years before your time."

"Yours, too. Re-runs, bitch."

"Jasper?" Alice came into the room – wearing jeans, I was glad to note – and skidded to a halt when she saw me, smiling at my laughter. "Hi, Edward!"

Jasper started humming the theme to _Happy Days_ as he moved to her. "Hey, did you bring the poodle skirt?" he asked, raising an eyebrow suggestively.

Alice walked over to the dresser, picking up the earbuds he'd left lying there. She listened for a second before grimacing and setting them back down. She lifted an eyebrow at Jasper's jacket lying across the bed and moved toward me to run her fingers along the soft leather. She made a sound of approval and turned to arch a brow at him.

"I'll wear it if you change back into the poodle skirt," he said, returning the expression.

"Ugh," I groaned. "I'm right here, you know."

Alice went over to Jasper to give him another quick kiss, and then turned back to me, her arms around his waist. "So, Edward, what have you been up to? Besides practice."

I shrugged, looking down at the bedspread. It was now or never, I thought, and I didn't want it to be never. "Not much, really. But I do have a question for you."

I could see her tip her head inquiringly as I paused. She looked up at Jasper when I didn't continue right away, but he just shrugged. "Okay," she finally said when the silence stretched out too long. "What is it?"

"Well, I want to ask you a question about Bella Swan."

Suddenly she was sitting right next to me. I flinched in surprise, and then again when Jasper appeared right beside her. They were both perched on the edge of the bed, leaning in toward me, with identical expressions of wide-eyed surprise and excitement. It was a little scary. I shrank back as they started firing comments off one right after the other.

"You do?'

"Really?"

"Awesome!"

"It's about fucking time."

Jasper smacked my shoulder, and Alice grabbed my hand. She held it between hers and bounced enthusiastically. I tried to extricate myself and ease away, but I almost fell off the bed. They had obviously been talking about this between themselves, and I felt a brief flash of irritation with my best friend. It was over in an instant, though. I knew with Alice being Bella's best friend there was bound to be some discussion of the subject. I just hoped that Alice was cool enough not to divulge what Jasper had obviously told her in confidence.

"Well, what do you want to ask?" Alice was beaming with excitement.

I looked warily back and forth between them. "Um, I was just wondering if maybe she might have mentioned anything about me."

"Like what?" Alice's excitement dimmed a little as she frowned at me in confusion. Jasper rolled his eyes.

"Like, you know…if she likes hanging out and stuff." Okay, I wanted to smack myself. That was just about the lamest thing I'd ever heard. From their expressions, they thought so, too. "With me. I mean, has she said anything about hanging out with me." Fuck. That wasn't any better.

"I'm not sure what you mean." Alice glanced up at Jasper uncertainly. He was scowling at me.

"The thing is…" I sucked it up and just said it. "I like her. I really like her."

Alice squealed and bounced up and down, rocking the bed.

"But," I said loudly, cringing. "I have no idea if she likes me like that or not. I can't read that girl at all."

"She does, she does, she does!" Alice laughed. "I couldn't say anything before, but now that you've asked, and you've said you liked her first, I can tell you, right? She does like you, Edward. She's liked you forever! She's just really intimidated, and she doesn't know anything about boys and she's so shy sometimes I just want to smack her, but she really does like you, I swear. Oh my God, this is _awesome_!"

"Really?" My head spun with her enthusiasm and the unexpected information, while my heart pounded in excitement, relief, hope, and disbelief. Bella had liked me forever? _What?_ "Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure." She reached out and slapped my arm.

"Ow!" I flinched and rubbed the spot. Damn, that actually hurt.

"So…" She looked back and forth between Jasper and me expectantly. "Now what?"

"What do you mean, 'now what?'"I asked.

She huffed and looked like she wanted to smack me again. "You can't expect me to keep this to myself. This is way too important. You like her, she likes you…She's going to be so excited!"

"You can't tell her." I sat up in alarm.

She stared at me in shock. "Of course I'm going to tell her. She's my best friend. The guy she's had a crush on since forever tells me he likes her, and you expect me to not to say anything? Whatever, Edward."

She'd liked me since forever? I was still reeling over that one. There was no way Bella Swan had liked me "forever" and I hadn't gotten some clue, especially considering all the time we'd spent together lately. Right?

"Well, you can't." I looked at Jasper beseechingly. "She can't. Tell her."

Alice spun on the bed to glare at him, and he held his hands up between them. "Sorry, buddy, you're on your own with this one. I'm on her side. I think somebody ought to say something to someone so we can finally be done with all this bullshit."

"I'll say something. I will!" I insisted at their dubious looks. I took a deep breath. "I was thinking about asking her to the Homecoming Dance."

There was complete silence as they both stared at me. Then Alice let out a triumphant shout, pumping her fists in the air, and Jasper fell back on the bed, holding his stomach and laughing so hard he started wheezing.

"What?" I snapped irritably. "What's so fucking funny?"

"You," he gasped. "You at a school dance. You've never been to a school dance in your life. Oh crap, Alice is right. This _is_ going to be awesome."

"You've never been to one, either, and you're going," I pointed out to him.

"Yeah, but she's making me." He flinched when Alice turned on him with a look that promised they'd be discussing that later, but she was too excited to let it distract her.

"Oh, I know exactly what we'll wear," she said, her eyes alight. "Maybe the four of us could go out to dinner or something before, somewhere nice, maybe in Port Angeles. You've got a good suit, right, Edward?"

"A suit?" I asked dubiously. Jasper looked like he was about to start laughing again.

"I know you have some nice shirts and ties from when you've worn them under your stupid hockey jersey – "

"Stupid?" I interrupted, annoyed.

"So I'm going to guess you have at least one nice suit. What color is it?"

"Color?"

"Yes, color." She stood up and went to Jasper's closet. "Jazz is wearing his navy one, because he looks amazing in blue, so if yours is navy, too, we're going to have a problem."

"A problem?" I looked at Jazz in question, but he just shrugged.

"Color, Edward. What color is your suit?" Her disembodied voice came from inside his closet.

"Uh…Black?"

"Perfect. It'll look good on you, and everything goes with black. That gives me – and Bella – a lot of options. What I've got in mind will totally work." She emerged from the closet with Jasper's navy blue suit. She hung it on the door and eyed it critically. "Oh, this is going to be so much fun!"

"So you think she'll go with me?" I asked.

Alice gave the suit once last glance and then came running across the room to jump on the bed between Jasper and me. She laughed as we both instinctively reached out to steady her.

"Of course! We're going to double date at the Homecoming Dance! You're best friends and we're best friends and this is going to be the best date ever."

She rolled on her side and looked at me expectantly. "So when are you going to ask her? Do you need help? Ideas? It better be soon, you know. You don't have a lot of time and you don't want it to be a last minute thing. No girl wants to feel like a last minute date. You wouldn't do that to her, right? Would you? You better not."

I exhaled loudly and flopped back down on the bed. I had thought this was a good idea why?

It was going to be a complete fucking disaster.


	7. Chapter 7: Face Wash

**SMeyer's world, not mine.**

**Cheers to Sarahsumbrella and SunKing for beta-ing and helping me with this. Thank you.**

**Thanks to you all for reading, reviewing, and rec-ing. MM got some mentions on TwiGirlsNextDoor and Twitter this week - thank you so much!**

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**CHAPTER 7: Face Wash**

I was stretched out on the sofa watching television in the family room on Sunday night when my dad came out of his office with his new iPad.

"Hey, Edward." He sat on the sofa next to me, settling the nifty little machine on his lap. I eyed it covetously. I really wanted one, but Mom and Dad had just bought me a new iPhone, so my chances of getting one were slim.

"Hey, Dad." I turned the volume down on the TV and swung my body around to a sitting position.

"I've been looking at hotels in Vancouver for this weekend. Did you want to go up Friday night or wait until Saturday morning? I'm off on Friday, so we can leave after school if you'd like. Maybe grab some dinner and a movie or a play?"

I looked away. I hadn't told him about my plans to go to the Homecoming Dance, mostly because I didn't know if I _had_ plans. I did plan on asking Bella the next day, but if I wanted to sleep at all, I couldn't start worrying about it.

"Well, I'm not sure."

"Not sure?" Dad looked at me in surprise. I could feel my face turning red. So much for casual.

"Yeah." God, I didn't want to talk about it.

"And...why aren't you sure?"

"Um, I was thinking about going to the Homecoming dance. It's next Saturday, too."

There was silence. He stared. I shifted uncomfortably. He had every right to be surprised. I'd never gone to a school dance. I'd never even shown an interest in going. I'd never actually _been_ interested in going.

"Homecoming dance?"

"Uh…yeah."

"You're going to the Homecoming Dance." He didn't ask it as a question. It was more like he was trying the words out, like they didn't fit, or he didn't understand them. "You're going to the Homecoming Dance and not to the Canucks game to meet the scouts."

"Um…yeah. Well, maybe. I think so. I hope so. I don't know. I mean, I'm not sure. Not yet."

"Okay." He sat and watched me thoughtfully, and a smile crept across his face. "When will you know for sure? So I can let the scouts know."

"Soon?" My stomach dropped at the thought of having to muster up the balls to ask Bella to the Homecoming Dance.

_Shit_. Why was I so nervous? Oh yeah, because I wasn't sure she'd say yes. I had no idea if she actually wanted to go out with me at all. She was so fucking hard to read, and it made me a little nuts. I knew it was my usual hang-up about failure – I found it unacceptable. I was too competitive for my own good. I liked to take my time, plotting and planning my course of action, no matter the situation, until I could be sure of the outcome. But I had to ask her to go to the dance with me soon, and I didn't have a foolproof plan in place. I wasn't sure of the outcome. I had no idea what her response would be. The knot in my stomach tightened.

"You'll let me know, then? When you're sure?"

"Yeah, Dad, as soon as I know."

"So." My mom walked into the room and set a glass of port on the table for my dad. She leaned down to give him a quick kiss and glanced over at me. "Are you boys planning your big Vancouver weekend?"

"Well, no," Dad said slowly. "Edward's not sure he wants to go."

Mom paused, raising a brow first at Dad and then at me. "What do you mean he's not sure he wants to go? He's not sure he wants to meet the scouts?"

I really didn't want to get into the subject with them. I already felt like an idiot, and I didn't need to see their incredulous expressions to make it worse. Dad waited a beat to see if I'd respond, but I just sank down into the cushions of the sofa and picked up the television remote control. I scowled down at it, turning over in my hands. The moment of truth was finally breathing down my neck, and I knew I had to act. I liked Bella, enjoyed being with her, and I wanted more. No more procrastinating and generally acting like an idiot. The Homecoming Dance was the perfect opportunity to ask her out, and it was past time I did. I had to ask her before it was too late, before someone who wasn't a complete jackass did. To hell with being such a bitch about it. I was pretty sure she liked me, and if she didn't, I'd have to deal and get over it. But…I was pretty sure I could get her to say yes to all sorts of things.

"He says he might be going to the Homecoming Dance instead." Dad finally answered Mom's question.

"The Homecoming Dance?" She gaped at him before turning to me. "You want to go to the Homecoming Dance? What? Why?"

I wanted to roll my eyes, but I didn't want a bitch-slap upside my head from Mom. I understood their surprise, but their reactions were getting a little ridiculous. It wasn't like I'd never dated a girl before. My scowl deepened as I flipped through the channels on the television without actually seeing anything. Mom turned back to Dad for an explanation of my behavior.

He shrugged helplessly. "He doesn't know if he's going for sure."

Mom narrowed her eyes on me. "You're not sure? Edward, what's going on here? You've never wanted to go to a school dance before in your life."

"That's what I said," Dad muttered. Mom put her hands on her hips and waited, staring at me. I sighed. I knew when I was beat.

"I don't know if I'm going yet. I haven't asked her." The last was said in a low, quick undertone.

Mom's eyes narrowed further. "Her? Who's _her_?" I didn't answer right away, and she looked at Dad again. He shook his head and shrugged. Mom turned back to me with a slow, delighted, and deceptively bland smile. "Edward, my darling, what girl is more important than going to the Canucks game in Vancouver and meeting with the college and team scouts?"

"No one, Mom." I didn't look at her.

"Edward," she said warningly, coming to sit between Dad and me on the sofa. She took the remote out of my hands, turned the television off, and set it on the table.

"Mom…" I slouched further in my seat.

"You know, Edward, I haven't heard you talking about any new friends lately." I barely stilled the urge to roll my eyes again. New friends – _right_. "You haven't been out on a date – that we know of – in ages. Not that there's anything wrong with that," she rushed on to add, and I wanted to cover my ears and howl. The last person I wanted to discuss my love life – or lack thereof – with was my mom. "But for you to not want to go to Vancouver with your father, and talk to the scouts…That just isn't like you. This isn't something that just came up, is it? I know you too well, son of mine."

I wanted to groan. She wasn't going to let this go. I glanced at my dad, but he was watching me and waiting for an answer as well.

"I don't even know if she wants to go," I said, looking back at the blank TV screen. "I don't even know if she likes me." I ran my hands through my hair, and didn't miss the look my parents exchanged. They looked kind of happy. Because I was all tied up in knots over a girl? What the hell?

"Of course she does," Mom assured me with the blithe confidence of a mother. "Who wouldn't want to go with you? You haven't asked her yet?"

"No." Asking her would change everything, and I hoped for the better. Man, I really wanted those benefits. "I'll let you know about Vancouver as soon as I can, okay?" I asked my dad.

Mom let out a sound of excitement, and I cringed. "You're going to ask her tomorrow, aren't you?"

"Mom…" I protested, glancing imploringly at my father. He just shrugged. He was doing that a lot.

"No, no, I'm not saying anything." _Like hell_. Her grin was a mile wide. "Who is it? Someone you've had over before?" Her smile faltered. "It isn't…anyone you've, ah, dated before, is it?"

I knew she meant Tanya. My mom had not liked Tanya from the moment they met. She hadn't said anything, but I knew my mother well. She'd been overly polite, distant, and cold ten seconds after meeting Tanya, and those were things my mom definitely was not. It might have had something to do with the fact that Tanya had started evaluating our house and everything in it the minute her foot had crossed the threshold. She hadn't had eyes for anything else, including me.

"No," I assured her. "You've never met her. At least, I don't think you have."

She waited impatiently before smacking me in the shoulder. "Well, who is it?"

I was such a loser. I was sitting with my parents on a Sunday night talking about girls_._

_Fucking hell_.

"Bella Swan," I heard myself blurt, and I froze in horror. I wasn't ready to admit to anyone – other than Jazz – my obsession for her.

My mom collapsed against the back of the sofa, staring at me in surprise and delight. "The Swan girl? Carlisle, the Swan girl." I covered my face in my hands. "Oh, she's lovely, Edward."

"Mom…" I moaned. I heard my dad get out of his chair.

"Esme, come on," he said, and I looked out from between my fingers to see him extend his hand to her.

"But – " she protested.

"Leave the boy alone." He sent me a wink and pulled Mom to her feet. "He has important things to consider." He raised his eyebrows at me, leading her out of the room. They were both trying to hide their grins. I was glad they thought my pitiful situation was so amusing.

I stood and made my way up the stairs. Dad was right. I had some important things to consider. I had to come up with a plan to ask Bella to the dance, a plan that would result in her saying yes.

**-0-**

We'd started our four o'clock in the morning practices a week earlier due to the schedule at the ice rink, and I was beyond exhausted. The pre-dawn practices only lasted for a couple of weeks, but it was brutal. I was so tired I actually gave up my time with Bella at lunch to catch a few minutes of sleep in the car so I could be coherent sitting next to her in Biology. Besides, I didn't think she'd appreciate me falling asleep on the cafeteria table and leaving a puddle of drool next to her food. It wasn't as far-fetched as it sounded – I was really tired. By the time my body started to adjust to the unusually early hours, we'd go back to our normal after-school practice schedule. It was hell for two or three weeks.

I'd missed seeing Bella, talking to her, teasing her, and just hanging out with her during lunch. By Monday afternoon I was alternately anxious and excited to see her. I knew I needed to ask about the dance – it was the coming Saturday, and I'd already waited too long. Alice and Jasper were sitting at our table when I got to the cafeteria, and Alice did a double take when she saw me.

"Holy crap, Edward. You look like the walking dead."

"Thanks." My sarcasm was ruined by the jaw-cracking yawn that overtook me.

"Are you okay?" Her eyes looked me over with concern.

"I'm fine." I stifled another yawn. "Just a little sleepy. Early practices, that's all."

I sat across from them, half-heartedly pushing food into my mouth and trying not to fall asleep while I ate and waited for Bella. I felt like I hadn't seen her in forever, when it had actually only been a couple of short days. Despite my tiredness, my leg was bouncing in anxiety as I waited for her to show up at our table. Alice watched me curiously, and then a gleam entered her eye. She sat forward eagerly.

"You're going to ask her to the dance today, aren't you?" she asked. At my scowl, she beamed in excitement. "You're going to ask her now! Okay, okay." She sat back in her chair, but didn't lose the grin. "I know. I'll be quiet. Sh, here she comes."

I couldn't help the surge of eagerness as I glanced up, my eyes going immediately to Bella's small figure approaching the table with Ben and Angela. Her face lit with happiness when she saw me – I knew I wasn't imagining it – and she blushed and smiled when she realized I was staring at her.

"Hi." She studied my face and her smile faded. "You look exhausted."

I must really have looked like hell. I went through my spiel again about the stupid early practices, and she expressed her horror. It was kind of happy that she was so upset on my behalf. I didn't think she would be so concerned if she was only interested in my basic well being, and that made me feel a little better.

"That's mean and sadistic. It's got to be against some sort of law." She was still examining my face, and I tried to not look so…exhausted. "Child labor law, maybe. I'll check with my dad."

I reached over and slid the chair out from under the table so she'd sit next to me. I attempted to answer her, covering another wide yawn. The last thing I wanted her to think was that she was boring me.

"Sorry. It just takes me a few days to get used to it. I'm not as bad as Bill, though." Bill was another of my teammates. "He's playing football, too, and has double practices." Now that was sadistic. Or masochistic. Or…I squeezed my eyes shut. I was too tired to be sure my normal filters were in place, and I didn't want to go down that road.

"I don't think I'd ever get used to it. It's not right to be up that far ahead of the sun," Bella continued, blissfully unaware I was fighting inappropriate sexual thoughts about her yet again. "It would definitely mean sneaking some sleep during the day."

Well, shit. Sneaking and sleeping with her, during the day, the night, any time at all…the mental images were quite, um, stimulating. I shifted in my seat.

"It's been Edward nap-time the past couple of days in the car during lunch." What I wouldn't have given to have her sneaking and sleeping with me in the backseat of my car…

I managed to respond coherently as everyone talked and ate, trying not to dwell on images of Bella tangled up with me in the back of the Volvo. I finished my lunch and couldn't resist lowering my head to the table, turning my face so that I could still see her without straining my eyes or being obvious. I debated whether I should bring up the Homecoming Dance sitting here at the table in front of everyone, wait until it was just the two of us walking to Biology, or maybe after Biology class…I allowed myself to be distracted when Jasper mentioned the hockey season home opening game.

"Have you ever been to a hockey game?" he asked Alice. I tilted my head to see her nod in response. He reached out and shoved my shoulder. "What time is your first game, what, two Saturdays from now, Edward?"

"Six," I mumbled.

"Want to go?" Jasper asked Alice with a grin

"Sure." She returned his smile, and her eyes slid toward Bella, who was finishing her sandwich. I narrowed my eyes at him suspiciously, but he just ignored me.

"We should all go together," Angela suggested. I watched Jasper for a couple more seconds. He was up to something, I could tell. "I like to go, but hate sitting by myself while Ben's in the band section."

"Perfect!" Alice looked entirely too smug. "You have to come, too, of course," she said to Bella.

My heart leapt, and I watched her reaction carefully. I wanted her to come to my hockey game even more than I wanted her to go to the dance with me. I'd wanted it ever since I'd developed a crush on her. I'd seen the other guy's girlfriends at the junior and summer league games – seen them in their boyfriend's jackets or jerseys, and it had been Bella I'd wanted there cheering for me, wearing mine. I wanted her to see me play. I wanted her to see me do something I did well, that I was proud of, where my confidence was steady and unshakable. There was just something about the idea of her there, in the stands, watching me play the game I loved, that I excelled at…I held my breath until I heard her answer.

"Um, sure, I guess." Well, it wasn't a ringing endorsement, but at least she said she'd go to the game. I carefully released the air in my lungs. "I don't know much about hockey, though. Just what little I've seen when Charlie has it on TV."

Charlie? Who the fuck was Charlie? My tired mind scrambled to think of someone with that name at school, or of anyone named Charlie in Forks or the surrounding areas. I came up blank. I was suddenly wide-awake. "Charlie?" I finally asked, dread filling me. Could I be too late? Could she be seeing someone else? How could she be seeing someone else? She'd been spending so much time with me, and when she wasn't with me, she was with Jasper and Alice, or Ben and Angela. How could they have not told me about this Charlie?

"Yeah, my dad. Charlie."

"Oh." I was such a complete fucking idiot. Her dad.

"Yeah, um, I call him Charlie out of habit. Not usually to his face, though. It's just that's how my mom referred to him, and I kind of picked it up."

Thank God I had some sense left and had waited for her explanation. Chief Swan was her dad. She called him Charlie. The relief I felt was ridiculous, and only helped to emphasize what I had to do.

"My brother Emmett does the same thing to my dad. Drives him crazy, but there's not much you can do about Emmett." Emmett had started calling Dad by his first name when he was a senior in high school, for no known reason. There really was no explaining Emmett.

"There'll be a party after the game, too, at Crowley's house if you all want to go," I added. She'd already agreed to go to my game, so why not try for a little more? I wanted her to go. Having her there at my game, and then having the rest of the evening at a party with her…Yes, I wanted.

"Excellent!" Alice glanced back and forth between us. "It'll be fun. Bella, Jazz and I can tell you all you need to know about the game."

"So, next Saturday?" Bella asked, and Alice nodded.

"Yeah, this Saturday is the Homecoming dance." This time the look Alice sent my way was obvious and pointed. I scowled back at her. "So, Angela," she said, turning to her. "Which dress did you decide to wear?"

I shifted to look at Bella, knowing this was my chance. She was watching her friends with an amused, indulgent half smile as they discussed the dance. Her mouth twitched and she bit her lip, glancing at me out of the corner of her eye.

"What?" I asked, wondering at what had amused her.

She shrugged one shoulder and bent toward me, bringing her face down to where mine still rested in the table, her lips close to my ear. Her hair fell forward, brushing against my neck and cheek. I barely stifled a gasp.

"I just can't believe Alice is making Jasper go to the dance," she whispered. I could barely hear her over the roar of blood rushing through my head. "That would almost be worth seeing."

This was it – the perfect opening for me to ask her to go with me. I couldn't have set the situation up any better. My stomach clenched and rolled, and I felt a little light-headed with anticipation. I was finally going to ask Bella Swan to go out with me. I sat up and rested my elbows on the table, hunching forward to create a little private space between us.

"Are you going to the Homecoming dance, Bella?" I asked, just to be one hundred percent sure. I was certain no other guy had asked her, but it had just occurred to me that maybe she had plans to go anyway, with the other four or something.

"No," she said with a slight chuckle, glancing down at where my hands were clenched in front of me. She looked back up, and I met her gaze, holding it, willing her to know how much I really meant what I was about to ask her. I forced my fingers to relax, and finally, _finally_ asked the girl go out with me.

"Do you...want to go?"

"No." She laughed. It was a full, amused, and devastating sound. My face froze, my body locked into stillness. I just stared at her, feeling hot, cold, frustrated, angry at myself, embarrassed, and disbelieving all at once.

She'd said no.

I'd finally gotten the balls to ask her, and she said no. While I'd been worried that could happen, I guess I never really believed it would. I never wanted to believe it would.

_She'd said no._

"Me," she continued, still grinning. I tried to pretend my chest wasn't being crushed by the weight of her rejection. "Dancing. Not such a good idea. I avoid stuff like that like the plague."

All I heard was that she wanted to avoid me like I was some sort of epidemic disease.

"Oh," I managed faintly. "Yeah."

I looked down, running my hand through my hair and gripping my neck, which was aching with tension. I wanted to get the hell out of there and figure out what had gone so terribly, horribly wrong. I noticed Jasper and Alice staring at us with identical expressions of open-mouthed shock, and my embarrassment grew. I couldn't look at them. I couldn't bear to have witnesses to this epic failure, but I knew getting up and bolting from the table would only make it worse. I forced myself to sit, fisting my hands together on the table in front of me and glaring at them until my knuckles were white with the strain. I couldn't bear to look at Bella, who sat next to me in silence. I didn't think I'd ever be able to look at her again.

"Are you going?" Her voice was hesitant and soft. I took a quick glance out of the corner of my eye and saw that she was staring down at her clasped hands, too. Oh, fuck my life, she felt sorry for me.

I swallowed and took a deep breath, willing the adrenaline that had flooded my system to abate and let me speak normally.

"Well, I have to go to the game, all the captains and alternate captains of the teams ride together for the halftime parade." I swallowed again, the intense disappointment making my heart thud. "But it doesn't look like I'm going to the dance."

"Oh." She didn't say anything else, just sat there, and for the first time in a very long time, the silence between us was awkward and uncomfortable. I'd never been so happy to hear a bell ring in my life. Thank fuck that amazingly horrifying lunch period was over.

Alice jumped up, grabbed Bella's arm, and yanked her out of her seat. "Bella will meet you in Biology, Edward," she said, glaring at me. I had no idea why – I'd asked Bella to the dance just like I said I would, and she'd turned me down hard.

Ben and Angela escaped as quickly as they could. I didn't blame them. Jasper got up slowly, and so did I. He waited until I made my way around the table before he reached out and whacked me in the head.

"What the fuck?" I said angrily, my emotions needing an outlet. I dropped my tray on the table and rubbed my head, my other hand fisting at my side. I wanted to lash out. I wanted to punch something, but it wasn't Jasper's fault. I reminded myself of that as he got in my face.

"What the fuck, Edward? What the fuck was _that_?" He glared at me, and I scowled.

"What?" I grumbled. "I asked her, and she said no."

"You call that asking her?" he said incredulously.

"Well…" My confused thoughts went back to that disastrous conversation. "Yeah."

His mouth opened and closed a couple of times, and then he just clenched his jaw. "You are hopeless with women." He studied me in frustration. "How can that be? How can you be such a fucking idiot?"

"What?" I huffed. "Why are you mad at _me_?"

He sighed, letting his shoulder relax, and picked up both of our trays. I followed him to the trash bin as he shook his head. We both walked to the door leading out of the cafeteria.

"What kind of invitation was that?" he finally asked.

"The inviting kind?" I frowned in confusion. I had no idea what he was talking about.

"Apparently not," he snorted, and my jaw clenched in irritation. I didn't need it rubbed in my face.

"She said no. I asked, she said no, end of story." Blinding disappointment flooded me again. I couldn't believe it. I wanted the girl – I had wanted her to say yes so badly.

"Edward." Jasper slowed his steps. "You asked if she was going to the dance."

"Yes."

"You asked if she wanted to go to the dance."

"Yes. And she said no. What's your point, Jasper?" I really wished he would just drop it. I had to face Bella in Biology, and I needed a chance to pull myself together before I had to sit next to her for fifty long, excruciating minutes.

"But did you ask if she wanted to go to the dance with _you_?"

"What are you talking about? Did you not just hear that epic fail…?" I froze for a brief second as a quick replay of the conversation flashed through my mind. I winced.

Jasper nodded. "Uh-huh. Even I didn't get that you were actually asking her to go to the dance with you, and I _knew_ that's what you were doing. Fucking hell, Edward, that's no way to ask a girl out on a date, especially one as shy as Bella." He rolled his eyes. "The two of you…I'm beginning to think Alice is right."

"About what?" This revelation was a bit startling. Hadn't she seen what I'd said as an invitation? Didn't she realize I'd been asking her to go with me to the dance? If that was the case…Maybe she wasn't rejecting me outright. Hope swelled.

"You two need some help. I told Alice she shouldn't interfere, that you'd get your shit figured out and to just let you handle it, but…" He shook his head. "This is fucking hopeless."

But maybe it wasn't. I looked up as we approached the doors to see Alice and Bella on the other side of the metal and glass, in what appeared to be an intense conversation. Alice reached up and grabbed Bella's ear, yanking her head down and giving her hell. Both Jasper and I flinched – that shit had to hurt. Alice's mouth was moving a mile a minute, and Bella just looked dazed. Alice saw us approach, gave me a death glare that promised an accounting later, and released Bella's ear. Bella glanced up and met my eyes. Her confused, stricken look didn't upset me – as a matter of fact, it made me think Jasper was both right and wrong.

Maybe I had fucked up asking her to the dance, but maybe…the situation wasn't completely hopeless.


	8. Chapter 8: Apple

**SM, not mine**

**3 to SunKing and Sarahsumbrella for their beta time and trouble.**

**3 to you guys for reading and letting me know what you think. I absolutely love hearing your comments on the story - thank you!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 8: Apple**

Alice looked from Bella to me to Jasper, and back to me as we approached them in the hallway. "Hi, Edward," she said in a sugary tone, one that did nothing to hide the underlying warning that she would be tracking my ass down later to give me the hell she'd obviously just given Bella. She grabbed Jasper's arm and marched him down the hall in the opposite direction.

Bella glanced up at me and then stared down at her feet as we began walking toward our Biology classroom. I didn't know what to say. I was trying to figure out what was going on with this girl. Was it on me – had I totally fucked up asking her to the dance, or did she really not want to go with me? I had no clue, but I found myself wishing for the first time in my life that I actually had screwed something up, because that I could fix. I hoped.

"You don't have to walk with me, you know," she finally said, and my heart plummeted. It felt bruised and battered at this point. Did she not even want me to walk her to class her anymore?

"Not that I mind," she continued, and I looked at her sharply. "But you may be putting your safety at risk." She lifted her eyes from the ground and looked directly at me for the first time since I'd asked her about the dance.

I smiled, relieved to see the same shy, half-admiring expression on her face that was usually there when she looked at me, the one that kept me coming back and hoping for more.

"I'll take my chances." Now it was her turn to look surprised. "What?"

Her mouth twisted in thought. I slowed my pace, curious as to what was going through her head. She matched my steps. "Can I be honest?"

"Sure." _Shit_. No other way to answer that bitch of a question. Could she be honest? Hadn't she been honest? She confused the crap out of me.

"Well, I was just wondering..." She paused, and then continued with determination. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" I was truly baffled. Why _wouldn't_ I be nice to her? Did she really think I was that big of an asshole? I'd thought we had gotten to know each other better than that. Did she think I didn't mean it when I'd asked her to the dance? Why wouldn't I mean it? Why would she think that?

Bah – I _hated_ this. I hated not knowing what she was thinking, of being unsure of myself and the entire fucking situation. I was never unsure, but she'd made me feel that way from the moment I ran into her in the hallway back in January. Getting to know her better and realizing that instant infatuation could develop into something deeper, something _more_, hadn't changed the fact.

"I don't know...it's not that exactly..."

"So what is it? Exactly." My tone was sharper than I intended, but I was just so frustrated, with myself as much as her. We were almost to the classroom. I stopped, wanting to know what was going on before we had to sit, be quiet, and pay attention to Banner. I wanted to know what she was thinking. I wanted to know if she was truly interested in me, or if she was just being nice because of our mutual friends, because she liked the notoriety and attention hanging out with me brought in our little world. I had been convinced that wasn't the case, but who the fuck knew anymore.

She stood close and color touched her cheeks as she tipped her head back to meet my frowning gaze. She bit her lip nervously, as was her habit, and then spoke quietly but clearly.

"I mean, we hardly know each other. You never bothered to talk to me before." Her voice dropped even further. "I didn't think you'd ever even noticed me before."

I just stood there, dumbfounded. Never noticed her before? Never _noticed_ her before? Had she not caught me staring and practically stalking her for over nine months? There's no way she couldn't have noticed that. I'd always thought she was just ignoring me, that she'd made up her mind I was some stuck-up jock. It wasn't until recently that I'd realized maybe she didn't think that at all, that she really was just shy and a little embarrassed by the attention…but…did she really think I was just messing around with her? I was halfway to being in love with the girl. Didn't she know me better than that?

"What, so I'm some kind of conceited prick, is that right?"

She jerked back a little at my forceful tone. If she thought that of me, if she wasn't aware of my attraction to her…I'd thought it was obvious, but maybe it wasn't. And if it wasn't, I had only my uncertainty and caution to blame. I was determined to remedy the issue.

"No," she said cautiously.

Great. I'd scared her with my fucking temper. I took a deep breath, making sure it was firmly and undeniably under control. I realized we were standing in the middle of the hallway and attracting some attention.

"Look, Bella." I gently guided her out of the flow of students rushing to class. "I know what a lot people say about me, let alone what they think." People made snap judgments all the time, out of ignorance, jealousy, or a heightened sense of drama. "But most people don't know the first thing about me, about who I am. I did notice you." _God, how I'd noticed her._ "I've known who you are for a long time, but I never had a chance to talk to you like I have the past couple of months. It used to be like anytime I got anywhere near you, you'd go completely out of your way to avoid me. So I figured you were just like the rest of them – you'd already made up your mind I was some stuck-up pig, a dumb fucking jock that wasn't worth a second of your precious time. That you were like the rest of the God damn sheep, making up your mind without bothering to actually know me at all!"

That was a little more than I'd planned on saying, but I was so frustrated, with myself as much as her. It was too much, too forceful, but I had hoped we'd gotten to know each other well enough over the past few weeks to be beyond all this bullshit. I tightened my jaw to keep anything else from flowing out of my mouth.

She stared at me like I was some big, scary monster. I felt like a big, scary monster. I'd probably scared the crap out of her. If she didn't think I was some big dumbass jock before, she surely did after that little tirade. _Fuck_. I made an attempt to calm myself as I watched her reaction. She didn't take her wide eyes from mine, but her mouth was hanging slightly open as we both stood there in silence.

"Say something," I finally begged her. She should just slap my face, walk away, and never speak to me again. I'd deserve it. Bella was an unknown quantity in my neat and orderly world, and because she unsettled me, I'd been acting like a complete tool. I tried to calm my breathing while I waited for her reaction.

"Well," she said slowly, "It looks like we both made some very wrong assumptions about each other."

I let the air out of my lungs in a long, relieved sigh. She wasn't mad, she wasn't scared, she wasn't disgusted. And if I wasn't mistaken, her comment meant she'd been thinking about me, too. I controlled the wide grin that wanted to break out across my face and managed to keep it to a small smile. What I couldn't stop was my hand reaching out and briefly touching the hint of red that colored her cheekbones. I'd wanted to do it for so long, and I was done with waiting. My heart thudded painfully in my chest as I felt her soft skin under my fingertips. I had to stop myself from sliding them along her jaw until they were behind her neck and bringing her face to mine. She reached up and covered my hand with hers, gripping my fingers gently. She wasn't trying to force my touch away; she was accepting it.

She wanted me to touch her.

Well, maybe that was a bit presumptuous, but at least she was acknowledging and accepting my touch. I may have fucked up asking her to the dance – and I knew I'd be obsessing over my mistakes later – but I was determined to keep trying until I got it right.

"Let's not make that same mistake again," I told her. She frowned in confusion. "About assumptions," I clarified. And then I said it. I just fucking said it. "I like you, Bella. You're...different."

Her face lit up. I wanted to kick myself for not telling her, for not trusting her, for not being able to see her glowing like that sooner. She tried to play it off with some half-hearted, self-deprecating remark about her clumsiness, but I'd seen the happiness and relief that had flashed across her features. I'd seen it and recognized it, because it was the same emotion I felt. I realized that our fingers were tangled together, although – thankfully – we had unconsciously lowered them and I wasn't still touching her face. I reluctantly let go of her and turned to let her walk ahead of me into the classroom just as the bell rang. My eyes fell on our lab table, and I was reminded of the first day of class when I realized that she might be interested in me a little, too. The day she had grabbed my leg – and other things – under that table.

"Besides," I said, knowing I was about to embarrass the hell out of her. I couldn't help myself; I just loved riling her. "Your clumsiness gives me an excuse to put my hands on you."

"Edward!" she hissed, turning bright red with shock and mortification.

I grinned as I leaned down, putting my face next to hers and carefully placing my palm on her back. She felt so soft and small under my hand.

"What?" I murmured in her ear. "It's not like you need an excuse to put your hands on me."

I waited until she met my eyes before I deliberately lowered them to my leg, cocking my head and lifting a brow. The red in her cheeks spread over her face, and her mouth opened and closed a few times. Unintelligible noises escaped from her, and I laughed at the signs of her embarrassment. Did she really think a guy wouldn't notice a girl grabbing his junk in the middle of class, even if it had been an accident? I knew it wasn't the most gentlemanly thing to do, reminding her of her slip, but I couldn't help it. She was just so much fun to spar with, and I knew she wouldn't hold it against me. She had a sense of humor that was very similar to my own – it was one of the things I liked so much about her.

"It's okay." I pushed just a little bit more as we sat in our seats, wondering if she was thinking about smacking me. She looked like she was. Hell, I'd take her hands on me in any situation, even a smack. "Feel free, anytime." I put my hand on my leg in demonstration. _Please, really, feel free._

I was delighted when she reached out and tried to pinch me. It was kind of cute. It didn't hurt at all, of course, but I liked that she was comfortable enough around me that she would try. Her fingers stilled – I could feel them through the fabric of my shirt – and she flushed. Taken with the expression on her face, I could tell it wasn't an embarrassed flush. When her fingers stayed where they were and absently began stroking my side, her eyes focused dreamily on them, I realized she liked what she felt. She liked touching me. The clench of happiness in my gut quickly turned to something else when she didn't lift her hand but actually lowered it, down to just above the waist of my jeans. She was still touching my side and nowhere else, but my dick noticed the attention and started to rise to the occasion.

I quickly turned to face forward, feeling a twinge of regret as her hand fell and was no longer on me. I pushed my chair forward so my legs and groin were safely hidden under the table in case my dick decided to get any friskier. Jesus, screwing her on the Biology table was fast becoming one of my biggest fantasies. I'd spent more time hard because of her in this room than just about anywhere else…Well, okay, maybe that wasn't exactly true, but still. I wanted to get her to touch me, no matter how innocently, somewhere other than the Biology lab. I noticed she was still staring at me, a small, delighted smile curving her mouth. I suddenly couldn't take my eyes from her, and I almost came out of my seat when the tip of her tongue swept out to lick her lips.

"Cut it out," I groaned, determinedly forcing my gaze away from her.

I barely paid any attention to Banner, my mind going over the events of the previous hour. I decided that Jasper was right. I had fucked up asking her to the dance. I'd been too caught up with being nervous that I really hadn't been very clear about what I wanted. With Bella, I figured I was going to have to be pretty specific. That was okay. As long as that was all it was – a miscommunication and not an outright rejection – I could deal. I wanted to ask her again, but she'd made her opinion of school dances pretty clear. To be honest, I really didn't want to go to the dance, either. It had been a convenient excuse to ask her out on a date, but being set on my course, I could certainly come up with something better. I wanted to ask her out again as soon as possible, but if I didn't go to the dance that weekend, I had to go to the hockey game in Vancouver and the meeting with the college and NHL scouts. I'd have to wait until next week to ask her. If worse came to worst, she did say she was going to my hockey game and the party afterward, so…

No. I wasn't going to stay in this weird semi-seeing-each-other limbo. I was going to ask the girl, point blank, if she wanted to go out on a date with me.

I was going to make this happen.

**-0-**

That night I decided to call Emmett to get another opinion on my unsuccessful attempt at asking Bella to the dance. I was fairly sure Jasper's take on the situation was correct, but it went against my nature not to have a plan. I hated not knowing what I was doing, and I'd take any insight I could get. I wished like hell I could just read her mind and know what she was thinking. I knew perfectly well that talking to Emmett about it could end up being a complete disaster, but I really was fucking clueless as to what to do about Bella Swan. I'd never felt this way about a girl before – confused, unsure, scared, thrilled, and excited all at once.

"Hey, Edward. What's up, bro?"

"Hey, Emmett." I let out a small breath, and he instantly knew something was wrong. "Do you have a few minutes to talk?"

"Absolutely." For all of our sibling rivalry and spats over the years, there was no one else in this world I knew I could count on more than my brother.

I told him the situation with Bella, starting out slowly, not sure exactly how to express the crazy churning in my gut. I ended up pacing while I talked, throwing my hands around and practically rambling into the phone. I finally stopped when I heard him chuckling on the other end of the line.

"What?" I demanded, breathing a little heavily. God, I felt so much better just getting it all off my chest.

"You do have it bad, Edward. Jeez, I've never heard you like this."

"Like what?"

"All confused and shit. Over a girl. Haha, this is great."

"Emmett," I growled into the phone. If I wanted someone to laugh at me, I'd talk to Jasper.

"Okay, okay. So, we've established you like this girl – _really_ like this girl."

"Yeah." I rolled my eyes.

"Okay…well, the Homecoming thing. That was just stupid on your part."

"Yeah, I'm getting that."

"She probably didn't even realize you were asking her to the dance. When you ask a girl out, you have to ask her, straight out. You can't be subtle or vague or beat around the bush. Look." His voice dropped conspiratorially. "Chicks love to overanalyze everything we say and do. If you leave any wiggle room, they'll decide you want to dress up like a drag queen and sing show tunes to them or something, when that's not what you meant at all."

Show tunes? What the fuck was he talking about? I _knew_ this was a bad idea.

"Listen," he continued. "There are some things you have to know about women." I slumped down into one of the chairs in my room and smacked my forehead with my palm. "You have to know what they're really saying when they tell you something. Are you paying attention?"

"Uh-huh." I shut my eyes and rubbed the bridge of my nose with my thumb and forefinger.

"When they say 'I'm fine,' that means 'hell no, I'm not fine and you'd better fucking figure out what's wrong and fix it ASAP because it's your fault, anyway.'" I heard Rosalie's voice in the background and the sound of the phone being forced from his hand. There was a muffled thump, which I think was her hitting him with it. My theory was supported by the loud "_ow_!" I heard before Emmett's slightly breathless voice came back on the line. "Anyway…where was I? Oh, yeah. 'Do whatever you want' means 'you'd better fucking listen to me,' and when they ask you 'does this look good on me?' you always, _always_ answer 'you look good in anything, baby.' And when – "

"Emmett." I said his name firmly, breaking off the crazy. "Could I maybe talk to Rosalie, please?" That is what I should have done in the first place.

There was silence on the other end, and then I heard him snort. "Your funeral, man." He handed the phone to his girlfriend.

"Took you long enough to come to your senses," she said without preamble. "What's up, Sprout?"

I gave her the condensed version of the situation, and there was a thoughtful silence.

"Is she gay?" she finally asked.

"What? No, no." I was startled. Maybe talking to Rose wasn't such a good idea, either.

"Does she have a boyfriend?" she continued.

"Uh, no."

"Then trust me, Edward, she wants to go out with you." She snorted a laugh. "Hell, even if she was gay or had a boyfriend she'd still probably want to go out with you. You said she was shy; she probably feels a little overwhelmed by the attention. Sometimes when girls are feeling insecure, and when they really want something, they deny it so no one knows how important it really is to them."

"That doesn't make any sense," I said, frowning. "If you really want something, shouldn't you do everything you can to get it?"

Rosalie laughed. "That's so _you_, Edward. But not everyone is like you, especially not a shy high school girl. If she doesn't let on she really likes you, it's her way of protecting herself – from hurt if you don't feel the same, and from ridicule should anyone find out she has feelings for you, feelings she thinks aren't reciprocated."

I groaned and tugged on my hair. "This is all so confusing. I hate it!"

Rosalie laughed, but there was no malice in it. "You need to just ask her, straight out, if she wants to go out with you. Emmett was right in that respect – girls tend to read things into guys' words and actions, because there's just no understanding men sometimes. You have to come out and say 'do you want to go out with me?' You have to lay it on the line, loud and clear, with no chance of misinterpretation. Got it?"

I groaned again and rubbed my face. "I just don't want to screw this up, Rosalie. You know me and girls. It always ends up biting me in the ass somehow."

"I don't want to hear about your kink, Edward." She started laughing, and I could hear Emmett spluttering in the background.

I couldn't help but to laugh a little, too. It felt good. "Shut up."

"Seriously, though. I really do think you've done the right thing by taking it slow and getting to know her first. If she's worth it, she'll appreciate that you listen to her, that you're friends. Don't rush things. If she really is the one, she's worth all of the time and trouble, right? That's why you're not acting like your usual self, Edward. She's important. She's different. And you know it."

I sighed. She was right. It felt like a little bit of the weight had been lifted off my shoulders. "How'd you get so smart, big sis?"

She laughed, and I loved her. "_Because I'm a woman_," she sang. "_W-O-M-A-N…_"

Her laughter turned into shrieks, and I heard Emmett chortling as they wrestled for the phone. "My woman," he said with satisfaction. "Put your big girl panties on, Little E, and get your own."

"Thanks, Em," I said quietly, a wide smile lingering on my face.

"Anytime. You know that," he said in the same sincere tone. "Come here, woman!" he bellowed, and the line went dead.


	9. Chapter 9: Breakaway

**SM owns Twilight, not me.**

**SunKing and Sarahsumbrella beta and help me keep Iceward in line (heh - like that's possible).**

**And thank you all for reading and letting me know what you think. I love reading each and every review. Had some trouble with Chapter 7 reviews, so I apologize if you didn't get a reply to one you sent for that chapter. I know I missed a bunch :( but I think we got back on track with Chapter 8.**

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**CHAPTER 9: Breakaway**

While I didn't get to go to the Homecoming Dance with Bella, I did go to the Homecoming football game with her. Well, all six of us went, but she sat next to me and let me buy her a Coke. She also taught me how to do a "beauty pageant" wave for when I rode in the convertible with the other team captains and alternate captains at halftime. She showed me the proper way to hold my fingers together and how to turn my wrist back and forth. It was totally ridiculous, but she laughed and turned red with delight, and she was touching me. She held my hand and then clutched my arm when she collapsed in giggles, leaning against my shoulder. I put my arm around her and held her close while we laughed, and I never wanted to let her go. I wanted everyone in the stands to see us like that. I didn't want there to be any doubt she was mine, but…she wasn't.

Not yet.

But she would be.

Dad and I left for Vancouver Saturday morning. We had lunch on the way, and made it downtown in time to check into the hotel and meet with a couple of guys from the Canucks organization. We got a behind the scenes tour of the arena, which was cool. I'd been to a couple of other NHL teams' facilities, and the Canucks was really nice. A couple of players had arrived, and I got to meet them, which was a bonus. We didn't stay long, so as not to interrupt anyone's pre-game routine. We met with the college scouts and got invited to one of the suites held by an alumnus of the school. There were a couple of Canadian universities I was looking at, and that happened to be one of them. I was invited to campus to tour and look at the facilities and curriculum. Dad said we'd try to schedule something that winter and hopefully make it to a hockey game to get a more in depth look at the program. They got a little insistent about trying to pin down an exact date, but I let Dad handle that as I watched the game and talked to the other guys that that were there to meet with the scouts. We all discussed the game and told stories about our respective teams and experiences. It ended up being a great night, and I was glad I went. I was still a little upset about the whole asking-Bella-to-Homecoming fiasco, but I figured that it just might work out for the best in the end. I planned on asking her to do something that we both found a lot more interesting than a school dance.

The following week was the last of our four A.M. practices. The team made it through the early morning schedule, knowing they were coming to an end and our first game was that weekend. We were pretty well prepared and excited to start the season. I was looking forward to Bella coming to the game Saturday night, as well as the party afterward. I hoped she still wanted to go. I knew she wasn't really the party type. I'd never seen her at one before, and trust me, I'd have noticed. I mean, I knew she wasn't the school dance type, either, and look how that had turned out – not good for me. I wanted to go to the party with her, to have everyone see we were together and leave no doubt in anyone's mind that we were seeing each other.

But, I wanted to go on an actual date with her. Going to the party together – along with Jasper and Alice, and probably Ben and Angela, as well – was too much like our typical non-dates. I wanted to get away from that. I wanted to go on an honest-to-God date. I wanted to ask her out, just the two of us, even if I was risking rejection once again. It was worth the risk. I _really_ wanted those benefits. I decided to see if she wanted to go out before the game and before we got caught up with our group of friends, so that left Friday night.

I debated about when I should ask her. If I asked right away and she said no, I'd have to sit next to her all week at lunch and during Biology, whereas if I waited until Friday, I'd have the weekend to recover from any potential disappointment. So…Friday it was. I spent the week going over my plan in my head, alternately certain that I'd get her to agree to go out with me, and anxious that her rejection of my half-assed invitation to the dance was exactly that and not the misunderstanding that everyone had assured me it was. In the end I decided it didn't matter. I was going to ask her out, clearly and definitively, and to hell with all this fucking around.

We had a light practice Friday morning, and I went to school in my "dress uniform" for the first time that year. On home game day, or the day before in this case, the entire team wore dress pants and shoes, shirt, tie, and our home jersey over it all. I'd always thought it was a little weird – I mean, the other sports teams wore their jerseys before a home game, too, but they were allowed to wear them with jeans and sneakers. Coach Eleazar wanted us to dress up, as if hockey wasn't already considered a little off to begin with. But that's what he wanted, so that's what we did.

I felt a little self-conscious standing next to my car in the parking lot before school started Friday morning waiting for Bella. I wondered if she'd think I was an overdressed jackass. I'd thrown my letter jacket on over the whole mess, but I certainly felt like an overdressed jackass.

Bella was trailing slightly behind Jasper and Alice as they approached me. I'd lost my carpool buddy to the cute, dark haired girl whose hand he held. I saw Bella's eyes find me and widen. They went from my head to my feet and back again before a blush tinted her cheeks and she stared at the ground. She couldn't keep them there for long, and they slowly returned to give me a more leisurely, greedy examination. The look on her face was worth having to wear that pain-in-the-ass tie. She didn't say anything, but Alice made a comment about my get-up, leaving Jasper's side long enough to adjust my tie. I had been pulling on it a little, not used to being strangled. I wasn't a huge fan of things touching my neck, unless it was lips. I'd love to feel Bella's lips on my neck. _Ah…let the fantasies begin…_

I tried to distract myself by going into the first of many explanations I knew I'd be repeating that day even though the hockey team had been dressing like that for years. No one in school was used to seeing anyone in a tie, so it always caused a bit of a stir. Alice raised a brow at me in disbelief. Before I knew it, she had a hold of the zipper of my jacket and had yanked it open, narrowing her eyes at my chest. She glared at me – like it was my idea to wear the jersey over my clothes – and then she spun me around. I was so surprised that I let her, even though she was probably less than half my weight and a good foot shorter. I caught a glimpse of Bella's wide-eyed, opened-mouthed stare as I turned around and steadied myself on the roof of my car.

"How do you get that huge jersey all tucked in without it showing?" Alice demanded. I frowned, shooting a confused look at Jasper. He just shrugged.

"I have no idea, Alice," I told her. What the hell was she talking about? I glanced behind me and saw that all three of them were staring at my ass. What the hell? "I just tuck it in."

"Well, good job," she said approvingly.

I cast my eyes toward Bella and yelped in shock when I felt Alice grab my ass and then give it a sharp smack. Bella's eyes narrowed and she turned bright red – not in embarrassment, by the look on her face, but anger. Anger at what? I felt as though I'd just entered an alternate universe where nothing made sense. I wanted to start that whole morning over and come to school in just my underwear. It would have been less surreal, not to mention a lot more comfortable.

Jasper took Alice's hand and pulled her toward the school. I realized Bella was saying something to me, and turned to her with a shake of my head. "What the hell was that?"

"Alice," she said succinctly, and I guess that explained it. "Get used to it."

"Did she just grab my ass?" I had to be sure. I was still feeling a little stunned.

"Yep." She was trying to hide a smile. It was actually kind of funny. _Only Alice..._ "I believe she did."

"Oh. Okay." At least it hadn't been my imagination. If it was, it would have been Bella with her hand on my ass, admiring and grabbing, and it wouldn't have ended there. My imagination was much better than that.

We joked a little about Alice as we walked into the building. I liked her, I really did. Anyone could see how happy she made Jasper and how much she cared for him. That was good enough for me. I reluctantly left Bella at the front of the building so we could go to our lockers as we were running a little later than normal. I didn't have time to go with her to her locker before hitting mine.

"I'll see you at lunch?" she asked, pausing to look me over one last time before meeting my gaze with a sheepish smile.

"Yeah. See you, Bella." Lunch. And then Biology. And finally asking the girl out on a date. I smiled in satisfaction at my plans.

**-0-**

Nothing could ruin my good mood, not even inadvertently running into Bree in the hallway at school. Bree was one of those major miscalculations I had made when it came to dating. I hadn't realized she was seriously cracked in the head until it was too late, until after she'd told some pretty amazing lies about me. She never spoke to me anymore – thankfully she'd gotten that message loud and clear – but gave me longing looks and scurried away when she crossed my path. I would have felt kind of sorry for her if she hadn't tried to fuck up my life with her delusions. Seeing her reminded me of why I was being so cautious when it came to dating again, and how certain I was Bella was nothing like that. Instead of making me question my decision to ask Bella out, and hopefully establish a more permanent relationship with her, it only reinforced my determination that it was truly what I wanted. I just had to find out if it was what she wanted, too.

I was pretty wound up by the time lunch rolled around, so it was something of a disappointment when Bella seemed distracted and quieter than usual, even though she made a point of sitting next to me at the table. She ate her lunch, never once looking at me after the initial sweep of my form when she greeted me as she and Alice took their seats. Her eyes roved the room, and she looked a little nervous. Was it because of me? Had I done something to put her off, or was she embarrassed to be caught staring at me again? I wanted to tell her I didn't mind her staring – as a matter of fact I really kind of liked it – but I didn't want to sound like a prick. I thought maybe she was staring because she liked what she saw, but what if that wasn't the reason? What if she did think I was dressed weird? Fuck. I wished I could read her mind, or at least get a clue as to what went on inside her head.

"You're being quiet today," I said, when I couldn't stand the suspense or my rapidly deteriorating thoughts any longer. "What are you thinking about?"

"Not much," she muttered unhelpfully.

I sighed, staring at her profile as she focused on the food in front of her. She was so pretty. I wanted to be able to put my fingers under her chin and lift her face to mine. I wanted to be at the point in our relationship where I knew what she was thinking just by glancing at her face, because I knew her so well. I wanted to kiss away the look of sadness that clouded her features. I _wanted_, and I determined that from that point on I would simply ask the girl what she was thinking. The embarrassment couldn't be any worse than the constant wondering and making myself crazy.

"Sometimes, everything you're feeling shows on your face," I told her, leaning in so my words were at least semi-private. Her innermost feelings showed when she didn't think she was being observed or when she was overcome by honest emotion. I liked those times, but that was not one of them. "Most of the time I have no idea what you're thinking. You're very difficult for me to read, you know."

She jerked her head up, almost bashing my chin. Only my quick reflexes saved me from a bloody tongue. Her eyes were wide as she searched my face, and I struggled to keep my amusement from showing. She had no idea she'd come so close to smacking me in the jaw. "Why would you want to read me?"

"I'm very curious." That was the understatement of the century. Did she really not know?

"About what?" Her eyes widened even further, and the first hint of red crept across her cheekbones. "_Me?_"

I couldn't stop the grin from spreading across my face at her incredulous tone. She really didn't have a clue. She was amazing.

"Well, yeah." I willed her to believe it.

Her mouth dropped open momentarily before she caught herself, tearing her eyes away from mine and looking down. Her cheeks tinted, and I adjusted my position as my dick stirred in delight.

"I'm not very interesting," she said softly.

I begged to differ. She only had to look down into my lap to see just how interesting I thought she was.

"I think you are," I said, and I didn't just mean physically. She wouldn't meet my gaze, so I renewed my determination to just ask the girl when I didn't understand her actions. "Bella, tell me what were you thinking when I said you were being quiet."

She mumbled something about everyone in the lunchroom staring at us, and I glanced around. I was so used to it, I hardly even noticed anymore. To someone like Bella, someone who was as shy and quiet as she was…I imagined it could be pretty uncomfortable. Would it make her not want to be with me? I had no idea and only one way to find out if it did.

"Does it bother you?" I asked.

She tried to put me off with a non-answer, turning my question around and asking if it bothered me. I pressed a little harder, trying to get her to tell me how she felt, both about the situation and me.

"You tend to develop a kind of sense for people," I told her. "Those who are interested in you for the cheap thrill, for what they think you can do for them or what they can get from you, and those who are really interested in _you_." I had put her in the "interested in me" category, but a direct confirmation from the girl would be nice.

"I guess that's what comes with being a sports star," she said quietly, still not meeting my inquiring gaze. "And...so good looking."

She thought I was good looking. It made my stomach clench in pleasure, but then I realized a lot of people thought I was good-looking – a whole lot of superficial people that I wanted nothing to do with. I didn't want to seem like an asshole, but it was true. And it didn't tell me about how she really felt. I'd just have to ask her again, and keep asking until I understood. I couldn't stop myself from reaching out and touching her hand where it was nervously poking at her sandwich. I wanted her full attention. I wanted her to know this was important to me – that _she_ was important to me.

"I guess. I always thought those should be good things, but sometimes... sometimes they're not," I admitted. I watched her closely, following her gaze to where my hand covered hers. She didn't move away or seem upset I was touching her, so I gladly left it where it was.

"Yeah," she finally said. "I would have thought so, too, before I got to know you."

This made me even happier than when she admitted she found me good looking. It made me think she liked what she'd gotten to know about me.

"So, which one are you, Bella?" I asked. I wanted there to be no doubt in my mind before I asked her out on a date, even though I was fairly sure of her answer.

"Which one, what?"

"The cheap thrill kind, or the really interested?" I'd lived with Emmett too long not to recognize evasive techniques or know how to get around them.

"Can't you tell? I thought you said you had a good sense for that." Ah, she was good. Really good. But I was better and a lot more stubborn.

"Yeah, but I also said you were very difficult for me to read. This is...weird." I gestured between us before realizing she might think I was saying she was weird or giving what I thought was happening between us a negative connotation. "Different, I mean," I corrected. "It just feels...I don't know how to explain it. Do you know what I'm saying?"

I hoped she did and that she could make sense of my rambling. She nodded, a happy, pleased smile quirking her mouth. _Yes!_ She felt the connection between us, too. I just had to get rid of that last tiny, niggling little doubt, and then nothing would stop me from making this girl mine.

"So that makes you interested?" I pressed, determined I wouldn't let her put me off, try to evade, or give me a negative answer.

I held my breath as she paused for a long, terrible second, but then she nodded again. It was a definite, affirmative nod. I would have preferred to hear a verbal "yes," but I'd take a nod. I could tell I'd pushed her, and I didn't want to take it too far.

"Good," I said in relief just as the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. I pushed my advantage while I had it. "I have about a million questions."

"Questions?" she said in a worried voice, and I hid a wince. I couldn't push too hard, or I'd scare her back into silence again. I had to tone down my assertive nature until she got used to it, until she was comfortable enough to push back. I was looking forward to it.

"Tons," I said happily, before I could stop myself. "And then it can be your turn," I added, hoping to set her at ease.

"Really?" She seemed very pleased with this idea, and I had to smile at her eagerness. It was a very promising sign. She wanted to know things about me, just like I did about her.

"Sure," I agreed as we walked into the Biology classroom. "You can ask me anything you want."

The next fifty minutes ended up being like Twenty Questions on crack. Once she realized I wasn't going to start off demanding to know her deepest, darkest secrets, she relaxed, and we had fun. She was as eager with her questions, and as curious about the answers, as I was. We got into a pretty good discussion about music, and I was glad to note we had similar taste. I had some pretty strong feelings about the subject. I was pleased to discover that we could both argue and agree and enjoy the discussion. Somehow we got to talking about my ability to play the guitar, the wistful look on her face and the way she leaned toward me when she said she'd love to hear me play someday made me ridiculously pleased.

"Are you for real?" she asked when I admitted that I could play the piano, too.

"What do you mean?" Didn't she believe me?

"You're such a rock star – athletic, smart, musical, funny, and good-looking. It's like you're something someone made up." She grinned at me, taking the sting out of her words.

"Oh, I'm real, all right," I told her. "And far from perfect." She ought to know it before we got in too deep.

Her grin widened, and I tried not to stare. She really didn't seem to care, and her teasing words proved it. "What, you have a deformed left kneecap?"

Once again, I realized all my worries were for nothing. Bella was exactly as she seemed – pretty, honest, and sincerely interested in me, despite both my attractions and flaws. It was as I suspected; she was perfect. I wanted to laugh with relief and triumph.

"And a third nipple," I teased back, and then flushed at the reference. Fuck, why did I have to mention nipples? I manfully kept my gaze focused on her face until the end of the period.

It was time.

I'd never been so sure and so nervous about anything in my life. I wasn't this edgy even before a game. The bell rang, and I stood as she gathered her things. I took a deep breath, ruthlessly tamping down on the anxiety that swirled in my belly.

"Um, Bella, can I ask you something?" I slung my bag over my shoulder and stepped back as she came around the table.

"What, you didn't cover it in the past hour?" she laughed.

"No." She started to walk out of the classroom, expecting me to fall into place beside her like I always did, but that day was different. I reached out and touched her arm, feeling the slightness of her, the warmth of her, and my gut clenched. I wanted to grab her and pull her against me and just kiss the shit out of her. She turned her face up to me, a brow arched in question. I gulped, taking a cautious step away.

"Actually, I, uh, have more. Questions, I mean," I stammered. Her other brow joined the first as I paused. I looked at her open, happy, curious expression, and suddenly my nervousness was gone. "I was wondering...Maybe we could cover it later? Like, I don't know, dinner or heading out for ice cream tonight, or something?"

Her eyes popped open wide as she stared at me. A slow smile curved her mouth, and then spread over her entire face. She glowed and practically vibrated with excitement and happiness. If I had any doubts about whether she wanted to go out with me or not, they were dispelled in that instant. But she still had to say it. Out loud. I needed to hear it. I wanted that "yes."

"Bella?"

"Oh, sorry." She blushed. It wouldn't have been the same without the blush. "Yeah. I'd like that. Very much."

I'd take "yeah." Bet your fucking ass.

She'd said yes. We were going out on a date. She wanted to go out on a date with me. Maybe she wanted those benefits, too. Ugh, better not get ahead of myself. I grinned and made a show of wiping my forehead in relief, joking around with her now that I had my "yes."

She burst out laughing, and I grinned at her as we walked out of the classroom. Everyone went on with their business like the most momentous occasion hadn't just occurred. Bella said yes – we were going out on a date.

"Oh, yeah," she said, rolling her eyes. "Like you didn't know I'd say yes."

I had no idea what she'd say, no idea what she was thinking. She kept me guessing. "Bella, I told you, I have no idea what goes on in that pretty little head of yours. It's very frustrating."

She said she had plans to eat dinner with her dad, but that she could go out after that. _Perfect,_ I thought. That would give us the rest of the night. We could go for ice cream or dessert or something at The Diner. We traded phone numbers, punching them into each other's cell phone, and then I just stood there, smiling at her and promising to call her later.

She'd said yes.

We were going out tonight.

_Finally._

I didn't want to turn my back on her, not quite yet. I wanted to remember the look on her face, the feeling it gave me, her "yes." I couldn't walk backward as well as I could skate, because I ran into some poor kid and almost went down on my ass. I heard Bella giggle as I steadied the little guy, apologizing and making sure he was okay. I couldn't stop grinning.

I was going out with Bella.

She'd said yes.

I hoped it was the first of many.


	10. Chapter 10: Dangler

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**Thank you to Sarahsumbrella and SunKing for their constant support, expertise, and beta skills.**

**Thank you guys for reading, reviewing, and rec-ing. Really. Thank you.**

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**CHAPTER 10: Dangler**

The first thing I did when I got home from school was change into jeans and a pullover. I wanted to get rid of the strangling tie, the pinching shoes, and my good pants as soon as possible. I rushed through it, because the second thing I did was call Bella. I could hardly wait to finalize the plans for our date.

"I'll pick you up at seven-thirty? Does that sound okay?" I asked.

"It sounds perfect," she said, and then paused. "Do you, um, want to meet my dad? He's home tonight, and I'm not sure he'll let me out of the house without meeting you."

I thought quickly. Bella didn't know I'd met her father already, in more of an official capacity than personal. There was Emmett, of course, though the instances where Chief Swan had been involved were more funny instead of serious. Most had to do with him making sure Em and Rosalie weren't violating any indecent exposure or public lewdness statutes, but there was another incident that didn't involve my brother at all – an incident that occurred my freshman year. I wasn't sure if I should tell Bella about it, or even if I _could_ tell Bella about it. I didn't like to think of it at all if I could help it. I'd been witness to an act of violence that had been pretty horrifying, and although nothing had ended up coming from it, no trial or court case, it had left an indelible impression.

I'd been at an away game in Port Angeles, and had gone to get something to eat with Jasper and a couple of other guys from the team before we had to get back to the bus to return to Forks. We'd taken a shortcut through an alley and had come across a kid beating the shit out of a girl. I'd jumped on him instinctively, with no thought other than getting him to stop, while the other guys had helped the girl and called the police. It had been a sickening experience and one that I'd never forget. We'd dealt mostly with Chief Taylor of the Port Angeles Police Department, but Chief Swan had been involved because the girl had been from Forks. I didn't know if he'd say anything, allude to having met me in relation to the incident, but I knew Bella most likely had no knowledge of the event. I figured I'd follow his lead and see how he chose to handle it.

"Sure. It's no big deal, Bella."

"Seriously?" Her voice was amused. "You do know he's the Chief of Police, right?"

"Hard to miss in a town this size," I said dryly. "I'll be on my best behavior, I promise."

"It's not you I'm worried about," I thought I heard her mutter.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing." She gave a little nervous laugh, and I wondered what the hell she was thinking. "Okay. I'll see you at seven-thirty."

"Seven-thirty," I confirmed. "See you then."

I hit the end button and flopped back on my bed. I felt a surge of satisfaction that things seemed to finally be heading in the right direction. I wondered if she'd be willing to let me kiss her later. I'd wanted to kiss her for months, but it was probably too soon. _I_ didn't think it was too soon but…it probably was. We'd see. I was done wasting time. I was sure about my feelings for Bella, and I was fairly sure about her feelings for me. I didn't know exactly how deep hers ran at that point, but I knew they were there. I was determined I'd get to know more about a lot of things, like how soft her mouth was and how she tasted. It had been a long time since I'd kissed a girl, and I'd missed it. It had been even longer since I'd really anticipated a kiss – like edge of your seat, nervous and jittery, belly swooping, tight-chested, lip tingling _anticipated_. I could hardly wait.

I eventually went downstairs to the kitchen, my stomach telling me it was close to dinnertime. Dad was home and making dinner – hamburgers out on the grill, his homemade French fries, and coleslaw. I was anxious and excited, waiting for it to be seven-thirty, so I didn't eat as much as I normally did. I told my dad to only make me two burgers. He looked at me in surprise.

"Are you going out to eat later?" he asked, eyeing me speculatively, probably checking to see if I looked sick or something.

"No. Well, yes." I filled my plate and settled down to eat.

Mom glanced at me. "Are you going out with the guys?"

"No." I knew there was no way she'd let it go at that, and I was right.

"Who are you going out with?" She passed me more fries.

"Um…" I knew there was no way to get around telling them. "Uh…I'm going out with Bella Swan."

Dad glanced up, but just smiled and continued eating when I briefly met his gaze. Mom paused, her fork halfway to her mouth. "Going out, as in _going out_? Or are you all going together?"

I almost choked on my burger. Even my mom was aware of the weird going-out-but-not-quite-dating thing we had going on the past couple of months. I swallowed carefully, wiping my mouth to buy some time as I realized exactly how pitiful my romantic life really was.

"I asked her out." I tried to keep the defensiveness out of my voice, but was only partially successful. "We're going out on a date tonight. I asked her out on a date, and she said yes."

Satisfaction once again filled me. I'd never get tired of saying it. I saw them exchange a quick look before they went back to eating.

"Where are you going?" Mom asked casually.

"Just to The Diner to get dessert or something. I've got to head to the arena later, so I'm not sure what we'll do after, if anything." They knew my pre-game ritual of communing with the Hockey Gods whenever I had a game. I preferred to do it the night before if I had the chance. It gave me an opportunity to review things in my head one last time – where I was mentally and physically and to go over my strategy and the game plan, just centering and preparing myself.

I finished eating and went upstairs to get ready. I checked to see if I had gotten any food on me, glad to see I was stain free. I ran some product and water through my hair, shrugging when it was as futile as always. I had my dad's thick hair and my mom's uncontrollable waves. I also had the Cullen men's beard. I rubbed my jaw, decided it was acceptable, and went to get the girl.

I couldn't understand why that short walk from the car to the front door for that first date was so scary, nerve wracking, and stomach dropping. The hard part was over – the part where I'd asked her to go out with me, risking rejection and ridicule. By the time I was at her house and approaching the door she'd already said yes, so why did that walk make me so friggin' nervous? I jogged up the short flight of steps that led to the covered porch sheltering the front door. I straightened my black leather jacket, ran my hands through my hair one last time, and rang the bell.

I realized my heart was pounding and my breathing was a little accelerated. I made a concentrated effort to calm myself, shoving my hands into my pockets and then removing them nervously. I only had time for a couple of deep breaths before the door opened, and Bella stood framed in the entrance. Her big, dark eyes met mine – wide, wondering, happy, admiring – and I fell. I felt lightheaded; my head looped, my stomach plummeted down to my feet and then shot up into my throat. I tingled everywhere, like I'd been taken apart and put back together. It was a complete "beam me up Scotty" moment, and when I came back together, I realized I was in love with Bella Swan. _In love_, in love, not just teenage hormones or a superficial physical attraction. I'd gotten to know her, the real her, over the past couple of months. I'd had a chance to let that initial physical attraction grow, and I knew without a doubt what I felt in that instant. I'd become a victim to my family's predilection of falling in love young but forever, and I couldn't have been happier.

A contented calm filled me, dispelling all of my previous nervousness. I smiled down at her and noticed her breathing had gotten a little uneven. I hoped it meant what I thought it did, that she felt the same wave of crazy feelings. I knew I couldn't just blurt out the fact I was completely in love with her as it would probably send her running. If I weren't so certain of it, I'd be running myself. I mean, I hadn't even kissed her, held her, or touched her. I'd never had any sort of real intimate physical contact with her at all. To think I was in love with her was crazy.

But I was.

Crazy. And in love.

"Hey, Bella," I said, smiling, wanting to reach out and touch her, but I didn't. I knew her dad had to be somewhere close by, and he had a gun. I didn't trust myself in that moment. If I touched her, I didn't think I'd be able to stop.

She invited me in, and I looked around curiously. The house was a lot like her – warm, comfortable, and it smelled fantastic. My eyes settled on her, like they always did when she was near. She looked beautiful. I started to tell her, but she moved past me with a soft smile, leading me into the family room. Her dad was sitting in a worn, comfortable-looking chair in front of the television set. He didn't get up, and the calm that had been with me since I rang the bell wavered. He just gave me a level, serious not-quite glare. It was a pretty effective way of letting me know that while I might be in the house, he was reserving judgment on my welcome. I hoped I could perfect that look by the time I had daughters.

Bella introduced us, and I hesitated for the briefest second, waiting to see if he would acknowledge meeting me after the attack on the girl a couple of years before. He stood, and I walked over to him, extending my hand.

"Hello, Chief Swan."

"Edward." He gave my hand a good, firm shake and then dropped it, keeping me pinned under his gaze.

I wondered if Bella was ready to go or if I should prepare myself to sit under her dad's scrutiny for a while, but I didn't dare break his stare to find out. It felt like a test of some sort, and while I had no idea what the rules were in this game, I was determined to do my best. It wasn't until she came up next to me that I finally turned my attention to her, helping her on with the jacket she picked up off the back of the sofa. Chief Swan asked where we were going, and I gave her a private smile as I explained we were going to The Diner to get some ice cream. This seemed to appease him. He watched in silence as Bella tried to herd me toward the front door.

"So, Edward." Chief Swan's voice stopped us in our tracks, and amusement filled me when Bella squeezed her eyes shut in frustration, grimacing. She opened them to look at me apologetically, and I sent her a reassuring wink, the only thing I could do without him seeing. "How's your brother?"

My brother? I knew Chief Swan was something of a football fan, but I couldn't imagine he wanted to have a chat about my brother's stats at that particular moment. I turned to him, knowing my face showed my confusion.

"Fine," I said slowly, trying to figure out why in the world he would be asking about Emmett. "Doing well, last we heard from him."

"And Rosalie?" He arched a brow and gave me a meaningful look. I just wished I knew what it meant. "Is he still seeing her?"

Rosalie? Why would Chief Swan be asking about Emmett and…Rosalie. Oh. Emmett and Rosalie. If anyone knew the crazy things those two had gotten up to during their teenage years, it was certainly Chief Swan. He'd caught them and brought them home more times than anyone cared to remember, usually missing various articles of clothing.

"Uh, yes, he is."

"Hmm. Well." His smile grew smug as he saw I realized what he was getting at. He sent a deliberate look toward his daughter, and when his penetrating eyes met mine, I had no trouble reading their meaning. "You planning on following in his footsteps?"

I knew the Chief was an extremely smart man, but I had underestimated his cleverness and sense of humor. I wouldn't make that mistake again. I knew my face was heating with embarrassment, and while I hoped he didn't know how badly I wanted to get indecent with his daughter, his pointed comments made me think it was a futile wish.

"Chief Swan." I tried to moderate the grin that spread across my face. I didn't want him to think I wasn't taking his warning seriously. As obscure and humorous as it was, it was still a warning. "I don't think it's humanly possible for anyone to follow in Emmett's footsteps."

He stifled a laugh, and I felt as though I had at least held my own while acknowledging and respecting his admonition.

"You two be careful," he said, and I knew that was as close as he would come to giving me his blessing to date his daughter. I was just glad he was giving me a chance and not holding Emmett's unique brand of crazy against me.

I could tell Bella was a little embarrassed and a lot confused as she finally pushed me out of the house. I escorted her to the passenger side of the car, making sure she was securely and safely seated inside before shutting the door and rounding the hood to get behind the wheel. I couldn't help a totally inappropriate but undeniable surge of satisfaction that I had Bella in my car, and all to myself, for the next few hours. It was probably kind of stalkerish-creepy and completely possessive, and so not politically correct, but…I didn't care, not even a little. I finally had my girl.

She asked me what her dad had been talking about, irritated that it went over her head. I'm sure she had heard all the rumors about my brother, his girlfriend, and their escapades. Some weren't true, of course, and had been blown way out of proportion, but most, well…hadn't.

"Let's just say Emmett and Rosalie would have had a lot more indecent exposure charges on their records if it wasn't for your dad. Probably a lot more than anyone cares to think about."

"Indecent exposure charges?" She frowned in confusion, but then a blush crept across her cheeks, which made me have to casually adjust myself in my seat. I could tell that she had finally made the connection.

"It was a pretty good way of making a point. I have to hand it to him. Very subtle, but he got the message across." I smiled as I remembered the look on her dad's face when he gave me the understated warning. "Emmett is a very...enthusiastic person. About pretty much everything, but especially sex. And when he met Rosalie, well, let's just say those two are true soul mates. You'll see when you meet them."

She didn't say anything for a while, and I glanced at her anxiously. _Shit_. That was probably too much information. I'd freaked her out talking about Em and Rose and their sexcapades. Not a good first date topic of conversation. I cast another quick look in her direction as I drove, but couldn't tell what she was thinking.

"Tell me what you're thinking," I said, determined that I wouldn't spend the night making myself crazy guessing. She just shook her head, and I was sure I shouldn't have brought up anything about having sex, referring to my brother or otherwise. "Hey, I'm sorry. I guess I shouldn't have said anything about Emmett and Rose. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

She assured me she didn't mind the unfortunate topic of conversation, but it seemed like she did. She wouldn't look at me. She was frowning down at her hands in her lap. And then, true to form, she said something I didn't understand. "I guess I was a little surprised. You want me to meet your family?"

Meet my family? Of course she would meet my family. Did she think I was just playing games with her? Wait…_did_ she think that? How could she, after all the time we'd spent together? My mind raced, trying to remember if there was something I had done to give her that impression. I didn't think I had, but why would she be surprised? Was she really that insecure about herself? I didn't see how that could be. She was so smart, so bright, and so pretty. Maybe she was still feeling insecure about me. I'd have to fix that. I didn't want her to doubt how I felt about her. I parked the car in the lot and turned to her before she could get out, wanting to clear things up between us as soon as possible. I couldn't stand being in this weird, wondering limbo. I was in love with her, and I thought she liked me. It was a good start, but I had to be sure. I had to be certain we were moving in the right direction, the direction that would end up with her being in love with me, too – eventually.

"Bella, whatever you're thinking, stop. I think we need to get a couple of things straight, right now." She grimaced, still not looking at me, and my heart pounded in my chest. I hesitantly reached out and ran my finger along the soft skin of her jaw, putting slight pressure under her chin so she would meet my eyes. It was a risky move, a bold one, but I couldn't stop myself from touching her. It might be the only chance I ever got. "Bella. This is hard for me to say, but I'm getting the feeling it needs to be done now, sooner than later."

She kept her face turned up to mine but squeezed her eyes shut, and my stomach dropped. She looked miserable. That was not how a girl should look when she was out on a date with a guy she really liked. She should look like she did when she opened the door to me at her house. I wanted that look – I wanted her to look like that all the time when she was with me.

"Bella," I said softly, getting a little scared that she would just call everything off and demand I take her home. I took a deep breath and laid it on the line. "I like you. I really do. But I keep getting a weird vibe from you, like you keep waiting for me to lower the hatchet on your head, or say the wrong thing, or boil your puppy. It makes me seriously crazy when you do that, because otherwise I really like talking to you and hanging out with you. I was kind of hoping you felt the same way, but it's just so hard to tell with you."

Jesus. Total word vomit. That tended to happen when I loosened the grip I held over my emotions. She was staring at me, her mouth open a little, but I thought it was better than her refusing to look at me at all.

"Huh?" she choked out, and I shook my head, frustrated with myself.

"Shit, Bella. I haven't been this nervous since I asked Stacey Hamilton if she wanted to be my girlfriend in the sixth grade." That was the beginning of my disastrous history with the opposite sex. "I have no idea what you're thinking. Just when I think you do want to go out with me, you start acting like you're having second thoughts and are above dating the stupid high school jock."

I kind of got the feeling she was constantly debating with herself whether she should be with me, hang out with me, be seen with me. Maybe she did have a prejudice that I just wouldn't be able to overcome. She'd never actually said anything about not liking jocks, or that she looked down on them, but I just couldn't figure out why she acted the way she did sometimes. I really hoped that wasn't the case, because there was absolutely nothing I could do about my jock status. I'd do just about anything for the girl, but that I knew I could never change.

"You're not stupid!" she said forcefully, and that made me feel a little bit better. At least she didn't think I was some hulking idiot, even though I felt like one sometimes. And then she went and once again said something that made me feel like I was in an alternate universe. Would I never figure this girl out?

"Edward, that's not it at all. I want to go out with you. More than I should. It's just...I can't believe you're interested in me."

"Why wouldn't I be?" It came out automatically. How could she still possibly think that? Hadn't I been turning myself inside out over her? Hadn't I given her all of my attention, made an idiot out of myself, and asked her out? Said, point blank, that I liked her?

I felt terrible that I had somehow made her doubt me. I vowed that I would do whatever I could to make it clear to her that I wanted to be with her. I never wanted to be the reason she felt unsure of herself. She was so beautiful, so smart, so funny, and so much fun to be around. I ran my hands through my hair in anger at myself, in frustration, and then she surprised the shit out of me yet again. She smiled, a big, brilliant, gorgeous smile and then tackled me, throwing her arms around my waist and hugging hard. The surprise and the force of her small body colliding with mine across the front seat made the breath huff from my lungs, but absolute delight replaced the sudden shock. Bella was in my arms – voluntarily – her face pressed against my chest, her arms wrapped around my torso. I had no idea why. I was beyond thinking I'd ever figure this girl out, but I took advantage of the moment. I'd waited so very long for it, after all. I ducked my head and pressed my cheek to the top of her head, indulging in the softness of her hair, the warmth of her, the fragrance of feminine shampoo, and Bella.

I'd obviously done something right, although I had no idea what is was. I felt completely out of my element, and it was not a feeling I liked.

"Not that I'm protesting or anything," I said hesitantly, because I really wasn't. I didn't want to ruin the moment, but I seriously hated not knowing what was going on or what the hell I was doing. I felt like I was treading water, waiting for the wave to take me under. Not having a plan was making me a little crazy. "But what the fuck, Bella?"

I winced. Not the smoothest thing I'd ever said to a girl, but par for the course. She slowly pulled away from me, and I felt the loss right down to my toes. I was happy to see she was smiling, and her hand lingered on my arm.

"I'm sorry, Edward. It's me, my stupid insecurity, I guess. It's not that I don't want you—to go out with you." She corrected herself instantly, but my heart swelled at her involuntary slip. "I just can't wrap my brain around the fact you want to go out with me."

_What?_ Was she messing with me? I was lucky she'd agreed to go out with me. It was my brain that was having trouble wrapping around this entire situation. Jesus. I had no idea what to say.

"That's just stupid, Bella." Okay, not that. I really shouldn't have said that, but I was completely at a loss. "I wouldn't spend all this time trying to figure you out if I wasn't interested."

I thought that was obvious, but maybe it wasn't. It seemed everything I had thought was apparent actually wasn't. I really needed to sit down and get the situation back into its proper perspective. I rubbed my hands over my face as I got out of the car and walked around to open her door. _Get it together, Cullen_. I could deal with this. I just had to stop thinking my actions were obvious to her, because apparently they weren't. I had to stop assuming she knew how I felt. I had to tell her, to show her. I felt immensely better with this plan. I could do that. Oh, I certainly could do that.

I helped her out of the car, reaching down to take her hand as we walked toward the front door of the Diner. A blush covered her cheeks and she smiled shyly, her fingers tightening around mine. I felt a surge of relief. She liked holding hands, she liked me, and I felt my usual confidence return. Instead of constantly worrying, I'd just be myself and follow my instincts. I was determined to make this work.

"So, whatever happened with Stacey Hamilton?" she asked curiously.

I shook my head with an amused grin. The first girl to shoot me down – literally – and I'd only wanted to hold her hand. It was quite daring for that age; I'd always been precocious.

"She said yes, but when I tried to hold her hand at lunch she kicked me in the balls and ran off screaming. Story of my life. It's a wonder I ever got the nerve to even talk to a girl again." Stacey was the first girl I'd ever been interested in, and things had gone downhill from there when it came to my romantic past. Things would be different with Bella. _Bella_ was different.

She grinned at my misfortune, but that was okay. It was pretty funny in hindsight. "You obviously got your courage back."

She had no idea. She could take me down harder and faster than anyone else I'd ever known. She had that power over me, a power I'd never let anyone have, ever, but there was no "letting" her. I had no control over how I felt about her. I hadn't from that first impact in the hall almost a year before. I played it off, grinning at her even as my heart swelled with emotion, pretending to protect my balls while my heart lay exposed before her.

"I think you're worth the risk," I told her.

And she was. She was worth everything.


	11. Chapter 11: Flow

**SM owns, not me.**

**SunKing and Sarahsumbrella beta for me. I want to let everyone know that I've asked them to beta this quick and dirty in the interest in getting it posted as quickly as possible. This means I'm hoping to start updating more than once per week, but it also means that some of my errors they normally would catch might slip through the cracks. Please excuse these in the interest of more frequent updates and getting the story up faster, and know any mistakes you see are completely mine. **

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**CHAPTER 11: Flow**

Bella allowed me continue to hold her hand as we walked into The Diner. It was right out in the open where everyone could see. Jane was hostess that night, and I saw her eyes drop to where our hands were joined. They shot back up to glance at Bella curiously before settling with bright speculation on me.

"Hi, Edward," she said, making no move to seat us.

"Hey." I waited for a beat and then prompted, "Can we get a table for two?"

I had to let go of Bella's hand so she could walk in front me into the dining area. She was allowing me some familiarity, and I couldn't resist putting my hand on the small of her back, right in that intimate little dip, that space reserved for friends. Close friends. Boyfriends, even.

I felt the thrill of connection through her jacket and clothes. She started a little just as the sensation shot from my fingertips up my arm. I would have been worried she didn't want my hand on her except that she leaned back into the contact, increasing the pressure just the slightest bit, and let out a soft sigh. Knowing I wasn't imagining it felt even better than the reaction itself.

"Good," I said in response to the sensation. I placed my mouth near her ears, purposefully making it look like I was kissing her. I would actually do it, but I didn't want her to jerk away from me in surprise and ruin the whole _yeah, we're together, so back off_ thing I was going for. "You feel it, too."

We followed Jane into the dining area. I walked as close to her as I could manage without it seeming weird, casting surreptitious looks around to see who was there. I wanted people to see us. I wanted it to be obvious we were together and that she was with me – with me, as in _with me_. On a date.

Jane seated us in a small booth, and Bella commented about her making a rude gesture with her hair – her _hair_, for Chrissake. How do you make a gesture, rude or otherwise, with your hair? I figured it must be one of those things guys weren't meant to understand, because I had no fucking clue what she was talking about.

"So, what's your pleasure?" I asked, hoping to distract her, and then I wanted to bite my tongue. _Fucking hell, don't talk about her pleasure, not in public._ I didn't think she picked up on it, because she just kind of stared at me with a goofy little grin on her face that was really kind of cute. "Bella?"

"Ice cream sundae, of course," she said, her grin widening.

"Right." The ice cream sundaes at The Diner were pretty decent sized. We usually had to get a couple of them when I came with the guys, but I figured there would probably be enough with just her with me. Unless she wanted something completely bizarre – they had some pretty odd flavor combinations – it would be fun to share. I could always grab something to eat later.

I was relieved when she pointed at the hot fudge brownie sundae as it was one of my favorites, and we told the waiter what we wanted when he came to the table. There was a quiet lull in our conversation until he came back with our drinks. The silence stretched, not quite uncomfortable, but she had the oddest expression on her face. She kept looking up at me, her eyes jumping from various places on my face to somewhere lower, like my neck or chest, my hands, and then back at the table to her hands. I had no idea – once again – what she was thinking, so I went with what had been working and just asked.

"Did you want to change the order?" I joked, trying to lighten her expression. I desperately hoped that she wasn't regretting going out with me.

"Change the order? For the sundae?" She frowned, looking me in the eye now with curiosity. "No, why?"

"I don't know. You have a very determined look on your face." As long as she wasn't determined to dump me already… "You're not planning on hogging it all, are you?" I asked, referring to the ice cream.

Her eyes were alight with amusement as she smiled at me. The tight ball of tension in my belly uncoiled at the simple pleasure on her face. It wasn't the face of a girl who was getting ready to demand to be taken home.

"No," she laughed. "I don't want to puke all over your pretty car."

Puke in my car? I repressed a shudder. I didn't even like to have food in it – only in emergencies – and drinks only because they were unavoidable. My expression must have been pretty funny, because her chuckles deepened.

"Just kidding, Edward. I wouldn't waste perfectly good ice cream like that."

I let out a laugh, mostly in relief that she seemed to have relaxed and forgotten about whatever had been bothering her. The waiter came back with the big bowl of ice cream, fudge, and brownies, and we laughed and had fun while we ate. She staked out her part of the bowl and defended it against me, even when it became obvious she was full. She was teasing, and I once again realized how much I enjoyed spending time with a girl who could not only take my shit but give it back to me and then some. I was competitive by nature and loved challenges. Bella certainly was a challenge on many levels.

We talked about our families. I told her about growing up with Emmett and the crazy things we used to do and still did. I told her about how I wanted to play hockey professionally – that was pretty obvious – but also how I had a fascination with medicine. I loved to follow my dad around the hospital when he was working, and I talked about how I was considering a degree in the field. We discussed how difficult it would be, not only schedule and schoolwork wise, but also what it meant for my hockey career. It would take away from some of my prime playing years, and I talked about the conflict I had about it. I'd never really admitted the depths of my worries to anyone, not even my dad, but Bella was an amazing listener. I could tell she was really interested and in how I felt about the major decisions I had to make in the next year. If I hadn't already fallen for her, I certainly would have in the couple of hours we spent huddled in the booth at the Forks Diner.

She told me about her mom, who lived in Phoenix with her fiancé. They were planning on having a wedding ceremony at Thanksgiving. Her mom had divorced her dad only a few months after she'd been born, and only a few months after the two of them had been married. She talked about growing up with her mom and how she always felt responsible for her, like their parent-child relationship had been reversed. She told me about how they constantly moved around the country, never staying in one place, never content, until her dad put his foot down and demanded that Bella come live with him to offer her some stability. It really upset me that she had a childhood that was so unsettled, so unlike my pretty much perfect one. I couldn't imagine doing that to a kid, and it made me sad and angry that Bella might never have felt one hundred percent loved and cherished at any point in her life. She was so kind and genuine. No one deserved that, but especially not someone like her. She was very perceptive, and I wasn't very good at hiding strong emotion. She reached out to touch the back of one of my hands when I scowled down at them during her telling of her story.

"Hey," she said softly. "It's okay. My mom really is a good person. She was just so young when she had me. She met Phil a while ago, and she's really gotten her life together. I don't regret the time I spent with her. It makes me appreciate my dad, and even her, more now that I've grown up a little, too."

I turned my hand and wrapped my fingers around hers briefly. We smiled at each other in understanding, feeling better for having shared our stories, and feeling the connection between us solidify with our confessions. The conversation turned to lighter topics, books she'd read, books I wanted to read but didn't have the time to start, movies we'd seen, wanted to see, and our all-time favorites. She started quoting lines, challenging me, not yet knowing about my weird ability to hear music or words once and then have almost perfect recall of them. She claimed _The Princess Bride_ as one of her all time favorites, and we traded lines back and forth, laughing, screwing around, and having a great time.

Being a Saturday night, there were a lot of people from school at The Diner, eating, hanging out, and gossiping. I was completely absorbed in being with Bella and in our conversation, but I was also aware of the speculative looks we were getting. I couldn't deny the satisfaction I felt. After a while, a few people started coming over to say hi and to see if they could get any information on what was going on between us. I'd seen enough of the mannerisms and heard too many of the not-so-subtle leading questions to know what was going on. I was polite but sent them on their way as soon as possible. I didn't want to waste a second of the time I had with Bella, especially since we were finally getting comfortable, relaxed, and really enjoying each other. After our waiter had made repeated stops at our table to see if he could move us along, I knew we couldn't stay in the booth much longer.

I didn't want to leave. I was having a great time just talking to her. I was so glad I'd finally gotten the balls to ask her out, and really, really glad she'd given me that yes. I reached across the table and squeezed her fingers. "Bella?"

"Yes?" She glanced down at our hands and squeezed back before lifting her eyes to mine with a happy smile. She was so beautiful.

"I'm glad you came with me tonight," I said sincerely, and her grin spread.

"I'm glad you asked me."

So was I. I settled back in my seat, finally feeling satisfied with the way things were progressing between us. I was also strangely excited when she said she'd be at my game the next night. I hadn't actively cared about someone being at my game since I had asked my dad to come watch me play when I was six.

We couldn't think of an excuse to linger more than we already had, and I felt an irrational surge of anxiety as I helped her on with her coat. I didn't want to take her home. It was still fairly early, and there was something else I usually did the night before a game, something I hadn't planned on doing since I was with Bella. I was actually considering sharing it with her, which I'd never done before. I knew I could trust her, I knew I could let her in, but I wasn't sure if she'd think it was weird or not.

I considered how to bring it up without sounding completely odd as I paid the bill and walked out into the parking lot, my hand resting casually on her waist. I hoped that the novelty, the wonder of touching her, would never fade. She even let me take her hand again as we made our way slowly to the car. It was dark and quiet in the small lot, and all I wanted to do was pull her against me and hold her. Okay, and maybe kiss her. I wanted to kiss her quite badly. Hold her and kiss her. Yeah.

I stood braced in the open door of the car after making sure she was seated inside, fighting the urge I had to just lean down the few inches between us and place my mouth on hers – gently, softly. It didn't have to be a wild scorcher; I just wanted that familiarity, the implied and allowed intimacy at this point in our relationship. I had a feeling the wild scorchers would come in due time. There was way too much tension between us to make me think otherwise. She didn't help my resolve when she turned her face up to me, her eyes widening slightly when she realized I was hovering over her and then focusing unerringly on my mouth. Even in the growing darkness of the parking lot, I could see the color wash across her features. That didn't help my resolve, either.

"You're blushing," I said. It came out of my mouth before I realized I was speaking my thoughts out loud. I reached out and let the tip of my finger trace her rounded cheek. Her skin was so soft and felt so good. My hand automatically opened to gently caress the side of her face. I had to shift my stance slightly and will my twitching erection to die a quick death; otherwise she'd really be getting an eyeful. "You have no idea what that does to me."

She lifted her chin in an unmistakable, welcoming gesture. I felt as though there was an invisible cable reeling me in and toward her mouth. She let out a soft sound. I watched her carefully but saw nothing but breathless anticipation on her face. Her eyes went back to my mouth, and she licked her lips quickly, reflexively. There was nothing on earth that could stop me from kissing her – not my better judgment, not caution, not uncertainty. Not when she so obviously wanted me to kiss her. God, I was going to kiss Bella, finally, after all these months of wanting and wishing and just _thinking_ about her all the time. My breath caught in my chest. It was a tight ache, but one that felt good. I savored the anticipation and the idea that one of my fantasies was about to be fulfilled. She looked absolutely amazing in my car, waiting for my kiss, _wanting_ my kiss. I could hardly believe it was finally happening. I was so close her scent filled my head, the warmth of her skin sending heat flaring through mine, and still she gave no sign of protest. I ducked a little more, until only the slightest fraction separated us. I wanted to nuzzle into her, feel her soft, fragrant skin before I kissed her, slow, soft, and sweet…

The bright flare of headlights from a car pulling into a spot across from us seared into my brain, causing a quick flash of discomfort and then a sharp shock of surprise that caused me to jerk back in reflex. I rapped my head hard on the open car door, forgetting it was there. I felt a sting of pain and then a wave of disappointment shoot through me. The disappointment hurt worse. I glanced quickly at Bella to make sure she was okay, and that I hadn't embarrassed her with my actions. She looked fine, the color seeping across her cheekbones again, and she was back to looking at my mouth with obvious disappointment. No damage done, either physically or emotionally – thank God.

She finally met my eyes, and I gave her an apologetic shrug. I had no idea what to say. What do you say after something like that? She stared at me for a second and then smiled ruefully in acknowledgement of the awkward and frustrating situation. I grabbed the stupid car door – the back of my head was still throbbing slightly from hitting it – and shut it carefully. I was breathing heavily in annoyance and disappointment. I'd been so close to kissing her!

I'd have to start over with the whole kiss approach. I just wanted to get it over with, to be done with the anxiety and uncertainty, but on the other hand, I wanted it to be right. I didn't think I could handle it if she was disappointed in our first kiss – or any of our kisses, to be honest. I heaved a sigh as I got in behind the wheel. I was getting so ahead of myself, thinking of future kisses. _Let's just get the first one right, jackass,_ I chastised myself.

"Bella." I turned to her – whether to apologize or to ask her if I could try again, I had no fucking idea – but the look on her face stopped me cold. She looked upset. "Are you okay?"

She didn't answer, staring at her hands twisting nervously in her lap. My stomach dropped. Shit. Fuck. I shouldn't have tried to kiss her, not so soon. This was the first time we'd been out, even though we'd been hanging together for the past couple of months. It was the first time we'd done anything with romantic connotations, and there I was, pushing her and practically jumping all over her.

"Look," I said quietly, wanting to reach out and touch her, but restraining myself with an irritated internal rebuke. Being impulsive was what had upset her in the first place. I started to apologize, but she spun around in her seat. "I'm sorry – "

"No!" she said forcefully, her expression fierce, and my voice broke off in shock. I'd never seen her look like that, and it was glorious. I was so fucking turned on, completely and instantly. Fierce Bella was just the stuff of fantasies.

"No," she said more normally, but I was still reeling a little from that glimpse of the assertiveness in her. Oh, boy. "Don't be sorry, Edward. _I'm_ sorry...that stupid car...I wish..."

She huffed in frustration, and my heart soared. She really had wanted me to kiss her and was just as bummed as I was when we were so unexpectedly interrupted. Without thought, I reached out and patted her leg, her thigh, just where the swell started above her knee. The heat and softness of the intimate touch sent a shockwave through my fingers and jangled up my arm. I withdrew my hand reluctantly, worried I'd overstepped again, but damn, that lingering prickle felt amazing.

"I know, right? Bad time, bad place." I was just glad she felt the same way I did. It was my fault, trying to kiss her for the first time in a parking lot, of all places. What had I been thinking? I hadn't apparently, and that's what I got for not having a plan in place to make it perfect.

"We can always try for a better time and place, though, right?"

My head whipped around at the softly spoken words, and I stared at her. She was looking down at her lap again, biting her lip, but her words settled in my head and in my heart. I couldn't doubt she wanted what I wanted, that she felt what I felt. Bella liked me, and she wanted to go out with me. She wanted me to kiss her. Now that I was sure she wanted it, too, nothing could stop me from making it happen. I was an amazing planner. Silence stretched between us for a few long seconds, but I waited until she looked up at me. I wanted to be sure she understood I returned her feeling and sentiment tenfold.

"I'll keep that in mind, Bella," I said with a smile when she finally met my gaze, hoping to set her at ease and reassure her at the same time. She let out an amused chuckle. She so got me.

I started the car, but I knew I didn't want to take her home. My thoughts went back to what I usually did the night before a game – it was such a part of what I was. I had an inexplicable urge to share it with her. I'd never considered opening myself up like that to anybody, let alone a girl. It made me realize how different Bella was and how different I felt about her.

"Bella, I have something I need to do tonight." I took a deep breath and made that leap. If she accepted, I knew there would be no going back, not on my part, and that was perfectly fine with me. "Do you...that is, would you like to go with me, or should I drop you off at home?"

"I'd like to go with you, if you don't mind," she said without hesitation.

Of course I didn't mind, and I told her so. I pulled out of the lot and started for the arena, and after a moment she asked, "Where are we going?"

Man, how could I tell her what a big deal it was to me? How I'd never, in all the time I'd been playing hockey – my whole life – asked anyone to share such an important pre-game ritual? There was no way to explain it properly, so in the end I simply said, "I've got to stop by the arena for a few."

"The arena?"

"The ice rink," I told her, feeling a little dumb. If I couldn't bring myself to explain, would she think I was a total freak? "Not for long. It's just something I do, something I have to do, the night before a game. Habit, I guess, or superstition. It won't take too long, I promise." Yeah, that was clear as mud. I _was_ a freak. "You'll probably be bored out of your mind," I added, realizing too late that it was true.

"That's okay," she said blithely. "I won't be bored if I'm with you."

I glanced at her sharply, thrilled, wondering if she really meant it. She was blushing again, but she met my eyes with a shy smile before glancing away self-consciously. Oh, she meant it. And when she started asking questions about hockey, I knew for certain there was something special going on between us. It was kind of like when I'd actually read _Wuthering Heights_ just because I'd seen the dog-eared copy in her book bag a few weeks ago. She listened intently and with honest interest, asking more questions and trying to understand the concept and rules of the game, which I knew could be somewhat confusing. She asked me how long I'd been playing, which brought us back to a discussion of our childhood.

Her questions changed to those about my family, growing up with a brother, and, even though she tried to hide it, her interest in growing up with two parents who were madly, and sometimes embarrassingly, in love with one another. I realized the dynamic – the annoyance, irritation, pride, and above all, unconditional love – was something she was curious about and yearned for. It made me kind of sad, as it had in The Diner when we talked about our families. It wasn't the first time, and I was sure it wouldn't be the last, that I realized how lucky I was to have my family. I wanted to sweep her up and hold her close, give her the love she wanted but didn't know how to ask for. This girl had me so wrapped around her finger. I'd give her anything she wanted, and I wanted to be everything she needed.


	12. Chapter 12: Shutdown

**Yay to Sarahsumbrella and SunKing for working through this with me. We'll try two updates per week and see how it goes!**

**Sorry I've been a little fail-y about the review replies - in all honesty, I've been working my ass off trying to get this finished and edited along with all my other crazy RL stuff. Hope to be more on top of the replies, but I do read, smile, and appreciate every single one. Thank you!**

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**CHAPTER 12: Shutdown**

I was determined and had my resolve in place by the time we pulled into the parking lot at the ice arena. I was in love with Bella, and I really believed that with time and patience, my charm and persuasive powers, I could make her fall in love with me, too. I parked the car and got out, intending to be the gentleman my mother raised me to be and open her door for her, but she met me at the hood, grinning. I was mildly upset that she hadn't let me show her that courtesy and treat her like she deserved to be treated, but I couldn't hold on to it in the face of her obvious amusement at beating me out of the car.

We walked through the parking lot, and I opened the main door – at least I managed to do that for her. I let my fingers rest lightly on her waist as I escorted her through the lobby. She stayed close as I showed her where the corridor that led out to the rink itself was, and she paused when the ice came into view. I felt the same rush of pleasure and homecoming I always felt when I saw the lines, circles, and smooth, white expanse, and glanced down to see her reaction. She was watching the players that were scrimmaging with interest. I moved with her to the boards so she could get a better view and then up a couple of steps to seats right behind the visitor's bench. We could see all of the action, but it was quiet and somewhat private, as the few spectators that were there sat on the other side of the arena.

"Are you okay? You're not too cold?" I realized I was rubbing her shoulder in an attempt to warm her in case she was chilly. I didn't think the seating area was cold at all, but I didn't know how she felt. I wondered if I should offer her my jacket to put over hers. I wondered if I could wrap my arms around her and pull her inside my jacket with me.

"I'm good," she said, looking around the rink at all the advertisements plastered on the walls and boards before returning her attention to the activity on the ice. "What exactly are we doing here?"

"I always come the night before one of my games to think, to kind of visit the scene of the crime before the fact," I said slowly. I hoped it made sense, because I wasn't able to articulate my routine better than that. "Concentrate for a bit on the upcoming game. I try to think of all the things I need to do and go over strategy one more time by myself and make sure I don't forget anything."

It centered me, being near the ice but not on it. I was able to concentrate and be at ease at the same time. I could let the thoughts and plans come to me as they may. It was something I'd always done, but I'd never felt comfortable with anyone accompanying me until Bella. Somehow, her presence relaxed me even more and filled me with contentment. I wasn't the least bit worried about being able to focus on the next evening's game.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Edward. I don't want to intrude or anything if you want to be alone," she said in response to me mentioning I usually came by myself.

"Stop apologizing," I told her, only half-teasing. She didn't need to apologize to me, not for anything, but I did so enjoy the pink that deepened into red across her face when she did. I could feel the faint heat wash across my own face as I admitted, "I didn't want to take you home. I need to do this – I know it seems a little obsessive – but I wasn't ready for you to go just yet."

"I didn't want to go home, either," she said quietly, smiling at me.

"Yeah?" I asked, pleased.

"Yeah." Her smile deepened when I took her hand. I wanted to touch her, and I wanted to be sure she wasn't too cold.

"Good. I'm sorry if you're bored." Her skin was cool but not uncomfortably so, and she returned the pressure of my fingers.

"Stop apologizing." She repeated my words with a grin. God, I loved it when she threw my shit right back in my face. She rolled her eyes for effect. "I'm fine. You go ahead and do what you need to do."

"I'll try. You're kind of a big distraction, but in a good way." Her smile faded, and her expression grew slightly anxious at my words. I could tell she was about to apologize again. I gave her an amused, warning look, and she bit her lip to hold it back. When I was sure she'd gotten over the urge, I reluctantly let go of her hand and let my attention center on the ice and the guys that were out there screwing around.

I didn't think about anything in particular, just the game and the team we'd be playing. I went over the advice, lessons, drills, and plans Coach had reviewed with us and we'd practiced until we could practically execute them in our sleep. I envisioned my strengths, recognized my weaknesses, and made plans on how I could maximize the one while minimizing the other. I strategized, bringing myself into a state of calm preparedness that I knew would carry over to the game the next night. I was ready.

My eyes followed the action on the ice, but I wasn't really seeing it until Bella jumped in her seat next to me with a delighted gasp. The lights over the nets spun and flashed, and I knew a goal had been scored.

"Did you see that?" she asked excitedly. "It went right in! I saw it!"

She grinned and clapped and looked gorgeous. I knew I still had to reach a calm and prepared state when it came to her, but I didn't think I really wanted to – and that was completely unlike me. But I enjoyed the surge of emotion, of happiness and excitement I felt when I was with her. And I loved seeing her excitement over a simple scrimmage goal.

"It's called a goal," I teased her. "I'll make a hockey fan of you yet."

"I didn't mean to bother you." She looked a little chagrined, and I didn't want to see her enthusiasm fade.

"You aren't bothering me, Bella," I assured her. "I asked you to come with me, remember? I'm glad you did."

She made a noise in affirmation and gestured toward the ice. "So, who's playing?"

I explained that it was an adult league practice. Our high school games would take over on Friday nights after this week, but until then, they used the rink for practice. As I was telling her about scheduling, Demetri, a player I knew pretty well, noticed me in the stands and skated up to the boards just below where we sat.

"Hey, Edward," he called, taking out his mouthpiece and grinning up at me. "How's it going?"

"Hey, Demetri. I'm hanging in there."

He leaned on the boards, checking out who I was with. "Game tomorrow?" he asked nonchalantly.

"Yeah, I'm just communing with the Hockey Gods." I stood and smiled at Bella, reaching for her hand as she got up with me. I knew Demetri was curious, and he had every right to be. I'd never brought anyone with me when I came to have my pow-wow with the Hockey Gods. Hockey players were superstitious and very protective of our world and rarely brought random people into our most intimate circles unless they were important. He knew I had to be serious – very serious – about the girl I was with if I had brought her with me to share my ritual the night before the game.

He greeted me with a smack on the shoulder when I got close enough, giving Bella a friendly smile of acknowledgement. "You suiting up? Gonna play with us tonight? I could use you, man."

I would often jump in and play with them on Friday nights if practice hadn't been brutal, or I didn't have a game. It was a great way to test myself and have fun in the process.

"Nah," I said with contentment. I didn't even feel a twinge at the fact I wouldn't be getting on the ice. I turned to Bella with a smile. I wanted to introduce her to my friend. I wanted him to know she was special, that she was with me, and that she was important. She didn't realize it, but I'd made a major commitment in bringing her with me to the ice rink that night.

"Demetri, this is Bella. Bella, this is Demetri."

"Hello, Bella." Demetri politely took his helmet and glove off to shake her hand.

"Hi," she returned quietly, with a quick glance up at me.

"It's nice to meet you. I've never seen Edward bring a girl to the ice before. Guess I can see now why he's not joining us tonight." He made no secret of checking her out in a polite but curious manner. I felt annoyance and pleasure in equal measures. I loved being with her and having everyone know we were together, but I didn't want him looking at her – like _looking_ at her, even though he was being nothing but respectful and courteous.

Demetri chuckled when she blushed, and I felt my possessive hackles rise. I didn't want anyone enjoying her blushes but me. I knew that I was most likely the only one who had the particular reaction to her blushes that I did – I'd better be – but I still felt out of sorts at his delight.

"He's just trying to give me a hard time, Bella. Ignore him," I practically growled, giving Demteri a warning glare. A grin twitched at the corner of his mouth, but he nodded slightly in acknowledgement.

Demetri asked if Bella had ever seen me skate before. I admitted that she hadn't, but informed him that she'd be at my game the next night.

"You don't know what you're missing, Bella," Demetri said with a grin, putting his equipment back on as he got ready to rejoin the scrimmage. "He's a talented son-of-a-bitch."

"Demetri..." I was caught off guard at the compliment and the fact that he'd swear in front of her. It was ridiculous, of course. Not only was it extremely mild for a hockey player – he was behaving himself better than I had expected – but I used a lot worse language in front of her myself. I was flustered, and I'd never been flustered before, not that I could remember. Only with her.

Demetri apologized, amusement twitching at the corner of his mouth. He braced against the boards, getting ready to skate back to where his teammates waited after the short break. "You know you're welcome anytime, Cullen. I can always use you on the ice."

"Maybe next week," I told him, but I hoped I'd be with Bella next weekend. "We've got to get going."

"It was nice to meet you, Edward's Bella. Come back anytime." I scowled at him over my shoulder as we walked away, but inside I was thrilled to hear him refer to her that way and know that he already saw us as a couple. He realized the significance of her being with me at the arena that night even if she didn't quite yet.

We were both quiet as we walked back to the car. I was happy and content with our evening, and by the soft smile on her face, I knew she felt the same way. I'd had a great night, one of the best I'd had in a very long time. I was still faintly regretful that I had to take her home, but I found I didn't mind quite as much as I had earlier. I was more certain now that there would be a lot more Friday dates with Bella, and I knew I'd be seeing her the next night at my game and the party afterward. We approached the Volvo, but before I could open her door, she put her hand on my arm.

She tipped her head, meeting my eyes, and her hand lingered before sliding down and back to her side. "Demetri said…how come you've never brought anyone with you before?"

Well, hell. That was a loaded question with both a very complicated and a very simple answer. I hid my amusement at her obvious nervousness as she started messing with her coat, tugging on the sleeves and then playing with the zipper. She realized what she was doing when she looked up and caught me smiling and watching her. She leaned back against the car, trapping her hands between her body and the vehicle. I thought about the best way to respond to her question, to be honest with her. The honest part was easy.

"Well, I've never really wanted to, until now." That was the truth. Everything I felt was right there in that deceptively simple statement. It told her everything she wanted to know if she'd only catch it.

"Oh." She considered my words, not looking at me and biting her lip. I was determined to be patient as she thought about what she wanted to say next. "I was wondering…"

"Yes, Bella?" I moved closer to her, until we were only inches apart. I wanted her to look at me again, wanted her to ask whatever question she was wrestling with, and wanted to be sure she wasn't too cold.

"I was wondering about something you said a while back." She looked up, but her eyes never made it to my face.

Something I said? A while ago? My mind scrambled, but there were so many things I'd said, so many things we'd talked about…I had no idea what she could be referring to. "Okay," I said, hoping she'd elaborate.

"You said…" She took a deep breath, and I could see her gathering her courage. She still wouldn't look at me, and I began to worry despite my resolve not to. "You said you'd seen me before, at school, and that I'd avoided you. I didn't understand what you meant."

Well, hell. Another one of those complicated questions. She didn't ask easy ones, did she? My girl was perceptive and had one hell of a memory. She listened. I'd forgotten what that was like. I once again considered what I should say, what I wanted to say.

"Hmm," I stalled, reaching out for her zipper to give my hands the same nervous outlet she'd given hers. She stared down at where I toyed with her jacket and then finally met my eyes. I knew it had taken a lot of courage for her to ask me the question, and I knew I'd have to match her bravery with an answer. There was no point in hiding it, after all. She should know. She deserved to know. I wanted her to know. "I'd seen you at school, noticed you, mostly hanging out with Angela. I found out your name and asked Ben about you."

Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open and then closed, and then opened again. "When was this?" she asked in a strangled voice.

"Last year?" Oh, crap. That sounded completely stalker-ish, and it wasn't really. Well, not exactly. Yeah. _I've been watching you, wanting you, lusting after you for almost a year._ No, not creepy at all. Fuck my life.

"Why?" she whispered, shocked. I couldn't blame her. But I had to go out on a limb here and admit how attracted I was to her. How much I really did like her.

"Because I thought your hair was pretty." It was so pretty, so dark, and so long. I wanted to bury my hands in it, my face, feel it on my skin. Ah, skin…"You have beautiful skin. It glows." I couldn't resist reaching out and stroking her soft, pink cheek. I was beyond thrilled when she let me and even leaned in to my touch. "Because you're quiet, but your eyes…your eyes show so much more."

She made a noise – a wondering, startled, pleased sound. I smiled and self-consciously lowered my hand, only to start playing with my own zipper. I continued my confession, hoping I wasn't scaring her or freaking her out, but it was strangely relieving to admit it and get it off my chest. Full disclosure. If she was going to run screaming from me, better to lay everything out on the line and get it over with.

"I tried to talk to you a couple of times. I tried to approach you in the hall or at lunch. At the one football game you went to last year." I kept my eyes on her, letting her read the truth in my expression. "Each time you either looked away and ignored me completely, or just walked away without even acknowledging my presence. I figured you had no interest in a jock, you know, and that you didn't want to waste your time with what you thought I was."

God, when I remembered how miserable I'd felt, how hopeless, every time she'd turned away from me in what I thought had been disgust…I couldn't believe we were standing there, on a date, on a Friday night, and Demetri had just called her my Bella.

"I – I didn't realize…" she stammered, her eyes going even wider.

It was my turn to look away. Her hand came up and rested on my chest, and I barely repressed a shudder of reaction. Holy fuck, if I responded to her touch over layers of clothing, how would I react if she ever touched my bare skin? Every muscle in my body tensed in order to still my involuntary, delighted reaction to the thought. _For fuck's sake, quit thinking about bare skin – hers or yours._

"Edward, I don't remember any of that. Trust me." She tilted her head to meet my eyes. "If I thought you wanted to talk to me, I would have been all over you. If I didn't look at you or walked away, it was because I didn't want to embarrass myself."

What? All over me? And how could she embarrass herself? I had no idea what she meant or what she was thinking. She continued to baffle me, but I went with my resolution to simply ask her when I was confused. It was fast becoming a habit. "Now I don't understand."

She reached up hesitantly, but she didn't stop. She placed her hand on my cheek, and I couldn't stop the jolt of reaction that shot through my body. It was the first time she'd ever touched me like that, so intimately, on my bare skin, where I was sensitive and where there could be no mistake of her intent.

"I never in a million years imagined you, Edward Cullen, would want to talk to me," she said softly, not removing her hand and not taking her eyes from mine. "If it seemed like I was ignoring you, well, it was because I was embarrassed for anyone to see that I watched you all the time, that I thought you were…wonderful. I felt like an idiot. I didn't want you to know I was just like those other stupid girls, following you around like a brainless groupie."

"Brainless groupie?" I was the one who felt brainless. I had no clue she felt that way about me. She thought I was wonderful. She had just said so.

Her hand fell away as she settled back against the car. "You know what I mean," she said quietly, her voice full of embarrassment.

"No one in their right mind would mistake you for a brainless anything, Miss Swan," I said sincerely, my heart cramping and swelling with everything I felt for her, and at her unexpected but wholly welcome confession. "And I'm usually in my right mind, although you have an alarming tendency to make me crazy." That was the fucking truth.

"I do?" She seemed to hold her breath.

"Yeah. I never know what to expect with you." I moved closer to her, until she was between the car and me, and I was practically standing between her legs. I could feel her chest moving with her rapid breaths.

"But that's a good thing, right?" She sounded like she was having trouble breathing. I didn't fool myself it was distress. If it was, it was the good kind of distress. Every line of her body welcomed my being so close, and it was an exact mirror of mine.

"It is." I leaned down, bringing our faces closer. Her breathing increased yet again. "It appears we've wasted a lot of valuable time." I wasn't going to waste any more.

"Let's not waste anymore, then." She echoed my thoughts, and I smiled.

I kept my eyes on hers as I lowered my head, letting her know what I wanted and seeing it was what she wanted, too. My cheek and my nose brushed hers, and I could taste her before our mouths actually touched. I took shallow breaths and reached for her…just as I heard voices growing louder and louder, rapidly encroaching on our vulnerable position. I jumped back in reflex, glancing at her instinctively to make sure she was okay. She looked fucking amazing. Her mouth was parted, her eyes slumberous and half-closed. She was panting slightly and leaning toward me, where I had been just about to kiss her. _Fucking hell._

I spared a glance at the group of men who came walking by, talking amongst themselves. They didn't even notice us standing next to my car. They all parted and got into their separate vehicles, and I sighed, knowing the moment between Bella and me had passed. I wanted to curse my bad luck, but as I opened the door for her so she could get in, I wondered if it was actually bad luck. I couldn't seem to stop myself from trying, but once again it occurred to me that a parking lot – restaurant, ice arena, wherever – wasn't the best place to kiss Bella, especially when I wanted to take my time and make it memorable. And I didn't think I could take another interruption, not when I was so primed. I got in the car, shaking my head with a wry chuckle.

"I'm never going to try to kiss you in a parking lot again. It's too hard on my…ego."

She made a low moany-groany sound as she turned to face me, and it shot right to my groin. Her eyes roved my face, but they kept coming back to my mouth. She blushed furiously when she realized I was watching her and had caught her admiring.

"So, you think I'm wonderful," I teased her, smirking, letting her know I didn't mind her looking.

"You like my hair." She arched a brow over her dark eye and gave it right back to me, flipping her hair over her shoulder so it caught the light and fell across her chest. I swallowed, and it was her turn to smirk when she caught me staring.

I reached out and ran a thick strand through my fingers, watching it flow over the back of my hand. I swallowed again, but met her eyes. "And your skin." I lifted my fingers and brushed them lightly across her throat, where it was pale and soft. I wanted to put my lips right there, right where my fingers were. I wanted to touch that warm, fragrant spot with my tongue, feel her jump and then melt at the sensation. She tilted her head slightly into my hand. "And your eyes," I murmured. Our gazes held. "Don't forget those."

I didn't have to urge her closer. We both swayed toward one another, perfectly in tune, perfectly in synch. We both jumped violently when we were once again blinded by headlights flashing in our faces from the car parked in front of us. It had to be one of the same guys that had walked by us just a couple of minutes before.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I ground out in frustration. I wanted to rip the steering wheel off and throw it at them. We were still technically in the parking lot, but in the security and privacy of the car, I could have taken my time and kissed her properly. I was still glaring at the departing vehicle when I heard her trying to stifle a laugh. I took a couple of calming breaths and could actually see the humor in the situation.

"This is a cockblock of cosmic proportions." I held my breath as soon as I said the words. Did I just say "cockblock" in front of her? Fucking hell. I wanted to kick my own ass. I didn't want her to think that I was intending to do anything in the car that would require a cock needing to be blocked…aw, shit. _Just stop._ "Sorry."

"No, you're right." She was trying not to laugh out loud, her hand over her mouth and moisture glinting in the corners of her eyes even in the dim light. I had to laugh with her until I glanced at the clock. I only had fifteen minutes to get her home before her curfew.

"I guess I'd better get you home," I sighed. I pulled away from the arena, knowing I'd be back in a few hours – and so would she. "You're coming to the game tomorrow, right?" I asked, just to be sure. She'd be at the game, and I could spend some time with her afterward at the party. She told me she'd be riding with Jasper and Alice to the game and definitely planned on going to the party with us, too.

"I've never been to one," she said thoughtfully.

"You've never been to a party?" She had to have been to a party, right? Maybe she hadn't. Maybe it wasn't her thing. Maybe she really didn't want to go to the one tomorrow night. I wondered what she'd rather do and how I could find out so we could do it together.

"No." She turned to look at me as I drove, grinning. "I've been to a party before, just not an after-hockey-game party."

"Oh, yeah. That I do know. I would have noticed." Damn straight I would have noticed. I'd spent the last nine months hoping she'd show up at a party I was at. She never had. "I'm glad you're coming to this one," I told her truthfully.

I pulled into her driveway and turned the car off, reaching out to take her hand. I knew she had to go, but I couldn't help wanting to stay with her, spend more time with her like we had that night. It was exactly how I'd wanted to spend time with her, and I didn't want it to end just yet.

"I really had a good time tonight, Bella. I'm glad you came," I told her, hoping she knew how much I really meant it.

"I'm glad you asked. Thank you for the ice cream." She made no move to get out of the car. I hoped that meant she felt the same way I did.

"You're welcome." I knew I was staring at her, but I couldn't help myself. She looked so pretty sitting there in the faint light – a faint light that flared ever so slightly brighter. I caught the curtain in the big front window being pulled back before it fell closed after a long second.

"I'd really like to kiss you," I told her, fighting a rueful smile, knowing what that movement in the window meant. "But there's no way I'm going to try that again tonight, especially here." I wanted to kiss her – badly – but I didn't have a death wish.

"Why not?" she asked, frowning. It made me happy. She wanted me to kiss her.

"Because your dad has a gun, and after tonight…I don't think I should take any chances. Besides, we're being observed right now." I nodded my head toward the house, where the curtain parted again briefly. Chief Swan was getting impatient, and I didn't want to push my luck.

She protested when I got out of the car with her to walk her to her door, but of course I insisted.

"I'll see you tomorrow." I couldn't see him, but I knew her dad was probably either watching us or timing us on the porch. I didn't want him mad at me; I wanted to be able to take Bella out again and often, and I wanted to stay in his good graces. But, man, I wanted to kiss her. I took a small chance and leaned down to press my lips to the smooth skin of her forehead, closing my eyes briefly at the softness and smell of her. "Good night, Bella."

It was hard to leave her, but my heart soared as I headed back to my car to go home.

I'd just been out on a date with Bella. I'd almost gotten to kiss her, and she thought I was wonderful. I'd had just about the best time of my life.


	13. Chapter 13: SpinORama

**SM owns Twilight, not me.**

**Sarahsumbrella and SunKing are rocking with the beta-ing! Thank them for helping me get this pretty and posted as quick as we can! **

**Thank you guys, as always, for reading and leaving reviews and comments. **

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**CHAPTER 13: Spin-O-Rama**

I woke up the next morning feeling both relaxed and energized. It was a perfect place to be physically before a game. We didn't have practice because we were playing that night, but I still needed a workout to stretch my muscles. I looked outside and saw that it was only overcast – no rain – so I decided to go for a jog. I dressed and went down to the weight room on Emmett's floor to warm up before hitting the streets. When I came down the stairs and into the foyer, Dad was just coming out of his bedroom in his sweats. His eyes lit up when he saw me.

"Going for a run?" he asked.

"Yeah." I needed the mental relief as well as the physical. When I was jogging, I could clear my mind a bit and concentrate on my body and the state of my physical condition.

"Can you hang on for a couple of minutes? I'll go with you, if that's okay."

"Sure." I was mildly surprised. Dad and I used to go jogging together quite a bit, but he'd been so busy with work in recent months that it had been some time since we'd gone for a run together. I had an instant's concern he might slow me down but knew better than to say anything. I was running more for mental purposes than physical, anyway, so I didn't need a hardcore workout. Even Emmett couldn't keep up with me when I went for a serious run, which pissed him off to no end.

I stretched in the foyer while I waited, guiltily lowering my leg off the banister when Mom walked by.

"I thought you had headed out already," she commented with a meaningful glance at my offending foot.

"Waiting for Dad," I told her, putting my elbow behind my head and bending from side to side to stretch.

She did a double take. "Your Dad is going with you?"

"Yep." I grinned.

She returned it and shook her head. "Well, don't kill him, for goodness sake."

"Nice, Esme." Dad came out with a raised brow, but smiled and kissed her cheek. "I think I can keep up with the kid. Don't worry."

He turned for the front door, and she gave me a very stern and meaningful look behind his back. I shrugged and held up my hands but nodded.

We started out at a good pace, and Dad actually did pretty well for a while. We chatted about school a little, and more about the game and the upcoming season, as well as a couple of colleges I was looking at before he ran out of breath. I slowed my pace, and then slowed again a block or so later. I turned the corner at the next street, steering him toward the house. I hadn't broken a sweat, but I figured I could sneak out the back or something after I got him safely home. Mom would kill me if he had a heart attack.

"Don't think…I don't know…what you're doing," he huffed as we turned back down our street. He was leaning alarmingly to one side as he shuffle-jogged beside me, and I didn't think he even realized it.

"Don't know what you're talking about," I said easily, slowing my pace yet again. "I'm pretty much beat."

"Don't be…a smartass…Edward," he panted, and I hid a smile.

"I think I'll just go cool down or something," I lied, jogging backward when we hit the front yard. "You gonna be okay?"

"Shut up," he gasped, and threw himself in the grass on his back, arms and legs spread wide. "Those are my genes you have, you know. I was a stud, too, when I was your age."

I couldn't help it – a laugh escaped me. Poor Dad. "Sure you're okay? I don't want Mom pissed at me."

He lifted a hand and let it fall back on the ground. "I'll handle your mother, don't you worry. I'm totally fine. I feel great. Better than great, actually. I'm just enjoying all the hard work I put into making this grass so nice and green."

I wasn't about to point out we had a service that came weekly to take care of the lawn. I jogged into the house, and my mom came down the hall from the kitchen looking a little anxious.

"Where's your father? Edward…"

"He says he's okay," I assured her. "He's...ah…resting on the front lawn." She looked even more alarmed and hurried to the front door. "Don't worry, I didn't kill him." I hoped. "I'll be back in a bit."

She just waved at me, and I peeked out the front window to see her standing over my dad's prone form with her hands on her hips. He lifted his arms to cover his ears as her mouth moved rapidly, and I knew he really was fine. I shook my head and headed out the back door, figuring I'd jog to school and get a couple of miles in on the track before heading back home. I queued up R.E.M. on my iPod, going to my Zen place as I darted through the woods behind the house on my way to the high school.

Once there, I started on my laps, singing out loud along with the songs while I ran. It was a great way to build lung capacity. My foot started cramping a little, and I slowed for a second to stretch it out. I was going to need new running shoes again. As I belted out the song paying in my ears, I became aware of two girls I thought were freshmen sitting in the stands. They were dressed in running clothes and huddled together, watching me. I straightened and offered them a smile. They both turned bright red.

"Hey," I said as they just stared.

"Um, hey." One of them gestured hesitantly at the track. "Do you mind if we…um…"

I looked behind me curiously and then back at them, raising a brow. I had no idea what she was talking about. Did I mind if they what? "I'm sorry?"

"Do you…" she glanced quickly at her friend and then at me. "Do you mind if we run, too?"

I gave a laugh. "Of course not. I think there's enough room for everyone." There wasn't anyone else using the track or infield, and it wasn't like I owned the place. "Come on." I gestured with my head and waited until they came down the stairs before I started jogging slowly. They fell into step on either side, and I hid a smile as I caught them both staring at me. We did one lap in silence, and then the girl that had spoken before cleared her throat.

"You can, um, sing some more if you want. We don't mind, right?" she added quickly with a glance at her friend, who shook her head vigorously.

"Yeah?" I threw her a smile. "You don't mind the caterwauling?"

"N-no." Another blush filled her face. "It's nice. You sound…nice."

"All right, then." I hit the dial on my iPod, turning up the volume, and started singing again.

The girls made it another half-lap before they started falling behind, and I gave them a nod before I kicked it up into a little more functional pace. I lapped them a few times, and they were back to sitting in the stands before I began to feel the burn of lactic acid in my legs and my breathing increased to a point where I knew I'd hit a good peak and should cool down. I waved a farewell and headed home.

**-0-**

After some convoluted planning that afternoon, Jasper and I decided I'd be the designated driver that night. He took me to the rink in the Volvo and then went to pick up Alice and Bella. I hauled my equipment bag to the stall I always used and began organizing my stuff to start suiting up. I put my compression shorts and shirt on, and started getting my pads, hockey socks, and tape ready when a couple of guys pulled me out into the hall to warm up with a soccer ball. We stood in a big circle, kicking the it in the air to each other, seeing how long we could keep it in motion without using our hands. It was great for coordination and loosening up a little.

After we'd screwed around with the soccer ball, I went back into the locker room to put on my socks, shin guards, leg pads, and pants. I stuck my feet back in my cross trainers and grabbed a stick, heading out onto the ice with a puck. I wanted to work on some stick handling, so I didn't need my skates. I would do more serious drills on the ice during warm-ups just before the game. After I'd hit, tossed, and juggled the puck for a while, I went back into the locker room to finish dressing. The room was full with everyone getting into their equipment. I sat on the bench in front of my stall next to Rick, who was wrapping tape around his ankles and knees over his socks.

"Music?" Tyler called, and there were shouts both for and against. He hit the button on the portable stereo, and the Black Eyed Peas' "I Gotta Feeling" came blaring out of the speakers. Rick and I paused in our taping to exchange glances.

"Really?" he whispered. "Please. Can't they come up with anything more original than that?"

I snickered and continued winding tape around my socks. I paused again when Tyler and Eric both jumped up – towels tucked around their waists – and began doing a poorly rehearsed dance that was kind-of in step with each other. Rick and I exchanged another glance, this one of disbelief, and leaned back to watch the freak show.

"And now begins the synchronized dance portion of tonight's program," he murmured, and I laughed out loud.

We watched in horrified amazement as they contorted and strutted and sang out of tune before we couldn't stand it anymore. With one last meaningful glance, we both grinned like idiots and charged them. I grabbed Tyler, and Rick grabbed Eric around the waist. We hoisted them over our shoulders and ran into the showers with them howling and pounding us on the backs. We dumped them in a heap and turned the water on full blast while they struggled, spluttered, and cursed us out at the top of their lungs. Rick and I high-fived before jumping right into a perfect imitation – but much, much better – version of their pitiful dance.

"Now that's how you do it!" Rick crowed as the song came to an end, and we ran back to our stalls to finish dressing.

It took me just slightly longer as defensive players wore more pads, and heavier ones, than the forwards. We tended to hit and get hit harder, as well as slashed, poked, checked and just generally knocked around more. I loved it.

I pulled the oversized jersey over my head, grabbing my gloves, helmet, and stick before following my teammates out onto the ice to warm up before the game started. The first thing I did was look in the stands to see if Bella – and Jasper and Alice – were there yet, and was a little disappointed when I didn't see them. There weren't a lot of spectators filling the seats, and I knew it was a little early. We all skated for a bit, doing basic drills and getting a feel for the ice that night before we all headed back into the locker room so that the other team got a chance to use the rink. Coach Eleazar went over some last minute strategy before one of the arena staff stuck their head in and let us know we could go back out. We filed out for a last skate before they cleaned the ice and the game began.

As soon as I hit the ice, I knew Bella was there. I could just feel her. I glanced around casually as I skated past the visitor's bench. I looked up and there she was, just a few rows back, watching me with a huge grin on her face. I started to wave but was interrupted by Bill calling my name. He was the other defenseman that played with me on the line. We did some drills together before lining up on the blue line to take some shots at Sean, who was in goal that night. Coach whistled us in, and we sat in front of our stalls while Rick gave us his pep talk until it was time to play.

We were eager to start the first game of the season, and there were a lot of shouts and whoops when we jumped out onto the ice as the announcer did his job. I felt that familiar and welcome rush of joy, excitement, and sheer pleasure when I felt the clean, slick ice under my skates, and I just knew it was going to be a good night. We all did one last check of the rink, and then lined up opposite the other team on the blue line for the national anthem. My line was starting, so I stayed on the ice, bullshitting and trash-talking a little with the other team's defensemen, both of whom I knew from summer league. I was very aware of Bella sitting up in the stands, but my training and discipline wouldn't allow my focus to waver as the whistle blew and the game officially started. It was enough just to know she was there.

God, I loved the game. My first shift went well as Bill and I managed to keep the puck out of our zone and in the opposing team's, resulting in five shots-on-goal to none on ours. The puck got flipped out of play, causing in a break in the action, and Coach called for a line change. I tossed my gloves to Alec, who threw dry ones back at me, and I grabbed a water bottle as I turned back to the action on the ice. I shouted and pounded on the boards in encouragement as we cleared the puck, and Rick went racing in for yet another shot on goal. Their goalie caught it in his glove, stopping play again, and I let my attention wander to where Bella sat across the rink from the home bench. She was looking right at me, but I had only a second to register the fact before I noticed the opposing team's line change. They'd put their freshman rookie out with one of their veterans on defense when I went off ice for the shift change. I knew the other team didn't expect me to be able to jump right back in, but my conditioning was better than anybody's in the league. I was lucky due to my genetic makeup and plain old-fashioned hard work – the intense training and conditioning program I put myself through. I was proud of the fact no one else could match my discipline, training, or natural ability.

"Well, hello there, meat," I murmured, glancing at Coach. He grinned at me and tipped his head at the ice, indicating he'd recognized the mismatch, too.

"What are you waiting for, Cullen? Go introduce yourself."

I returned his grin as I hopped over the boards. I shadowed the kid, watching him and the puck, getting a feel for his timing and style. He wasn't bad. The puck got knocked backward in the neutral zone, a dropped pass by their team, and we both made a break for it. We got to it at the same time and knocked it against the boards. I used my superior size, strength, and experience to trap it with my skate blade, hooking my stick around his to hold it useless against his legs. I smashed his face into the plexiglass with my forearm, all the while checking for the linesman in my peripheral vision so I didn't get a whistle.

It was almost too easy. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Crowley racing over to me, and I kicked the puck free as he skated past. He caught it neatly on the blade of his stick and took a sizzling shot on goal. Their goalie caught that one, too, and I grunted in frustration. My attention was brought back to the struggling rookie I held pinned to the boards, taking an elbow in my padded side with barely a flinch. I grinned as he tried to slash his way loose with his stick, which I blocked easily with my own.

"Edward Cullen," I said into his earpiece as I leaned my weight into him, stopping his pokes, jabs, and punches. I gave him a friendly little face wash with my glove. "Nice to meet you."

I pushed away as one of their forwards started to skate past me with the puck. I stuck my stick out as I spun and knocked it away from him neatly. Rick intercepted for yet another shot – and another block – on goal. Damn it. I was feeling good, barely winded, no fatigue, sharp and ready as the puck shot into our zone, and I chased it down for an icing call. The ref brought it back down to their end of the ice for a face-off, and I noticed that the rookie was glaring at me from his position on the other side of the circle. I grinned and winked at him, exchanging slashes and elbows with the forward I was assigned to until he broke away to chase the puck. I positioned myself just inside the blue line to protect my zone. Rick spun and twisted, managing to keep control of the puck, and I slapped my stick on the ice to indicate I was wide open – blown coverage on their part. I skated a few feet forward, right into the top of the slot, and Rick sent me a pretty and perfect pass. I swung back and let my stick fly, knowing even as I connected with the puck, before I saw the lights behind the net flash and the siren sound, that it was a goal.

I had only an instant of elation, shooting my fists up into the air over my head before I was tackled by my teammates on the ice, my back and head slapped repeatedly. I laughed and straightened my helmet, skating over to the bench and running the line, knocking gloves with the rest of the team before taking my place to one side of the center circle for the face-off. I heard my name announced over the loudspeaker with great satisfaction, the assists going to Rick and Yorkie. Not bad for my second shift of the season. Not bad at all.

I managed two assists and a couple more shots, but no more goals. I didn't have much opportunity to look at Bella, but when I did, she was always watching me. I was aware of her even when I couldn't spare the attention; her presence in the arena was like a low-grade buzz under my skin. We ended up winning the game four goals to two, and I was pretty satisfied not only with my performance, but the team as a whole. Both Rick and Coach agreed with me as we stood at the bench waiting for the guys to file back into the locker room ahead of us.

"I'll be right there," I told Rick, turning and skating to the other side of the rink where Bella was standing in the aisle with Jasper and Alice.

Now that the game wasn't demanding my attention, I could really look at her. I was glad I had waited until we were done, because she was all I could see. Her hair was loose, hanging in soft, curling waves around her face, which was touched with pink either from excitement or the cool temperature. She looked so pretty. It was all I could do to slide to a stop on the ice below her and not climb over the boards, haul her over my shoulder, and take her somewhere dark and private where I could make her cheeks pink up quite a bit more.

Jasper leaned over and slapped my hand, making some smartass comment I only partially heard. I took a deep breath and turned to Bella, sternly telling myself to act like a normal human being, not some slobbering, brainless dick.

"Bella," I acknowledged, a smile twitching at my mouth when I saw that her eyes were practically eating me up. _Good_. I wasn't alone in my fixation.

"Um, hi. Good game." She returned my smile, but then she went back to checking me out. I tightened the grip on my hockey stick. I was riding high on exhilaration, arousal, adrenaline, excitement, and did I mention arousal? If she kept looking at me like that, I was going to give her and everyone else still standing around something to stare at, that was for sure.

"Good game?" Jasper repeated indignantly. He was obviously unaware of our preoccupation. "My man here scored himself a goal and had two assists. I'd say that's better than pretty good."

She tore her gaze from me and her smile turned uncertain. "Go team?"

I had to laugh. She was so fucking cute. "I'll see you in a few. Wait for me." I said it to the three of them, but I didn't take my gaze from hers as I skated backward toward the bench.

I smiled when I saw her breath hitch, pleased that she couldn't seem to stop staring. I stepped off the ice and hurried down the short corridor to the locker room, wanting to shower and get back out front to meet up with her. I was looking forward to going to the party, where I hoped we could hang out together and talk – and maybe I'd get a chance to finally kiss her.

No. No maybe. I would kiss her that night.

I pushed my way into the locker room and was met by a raucous cheer. I froze for a second in the doorway, startled, but then shook my head and made my way to my stall.

"You're plus four!" Crowley yelled, running up and slapping me on the back. "First game of the fucking season, and you're already plus four."

"So's Bill," I muttered. Plus-minus ratings were individual player points. A player got a plus one if they were on the ice when their team scored a goal and a minus one if they were on the ice when the other team scored, with power play goals not counting either way.

"Whatever." Crowley waved a hand in dismissal, and then looked apologetically over his shoulder at Bill, who just shrugged. "You're coming to the party, right?"

"Yeah, I'll be there." I escaped into the shower.

I made short work of it, making sure I was clean and fresh but wasting no time. I didn't want to leave Bella – and the others – waiting for me too long. I walked out with Bill as we talked about the game, and I noticed the rookie I'd mixed it up with during the game coming out of the visitor's locker room with one of his teammates.

"Hey!" I said, giving Bill a friendly punch as I left him, jogging a couple of steps to catch up with the younger kid. He and his friend stopped, turning to face me with startled expressions. "I thought I'd introduce myself for real. Edward Cullen."

His eyes widened as he stared at the hand I held out before slowly reaching out to take it, his eyes flying back to my face.

"Riley Biers," he said. "I, uh, know who you are. I've been to pretty much all your games the past couple of years."

"Yeah?" Huh. Go figure. "Good game out there tonight." His eyes widened even more, and he cast another quick glance at his friend, who nudged him with his shoulder, grinning. "No hard feelings, right?" I asked, adjusting the strap on my equipment bag on my shoulder.

"Gotta pay your dues, rookie," Bill said good-naturedly as he came up on us.

"Yeah," the kid – Riley – stuttered, and then looked horrified. "I mean, no. No hard feelings."

"See you around," I said, giving him a wave as I walked away. I was anxious to see Bella.

"Someone has a little case of hero worship," Bill said as we neared the doors to the lobby. I glanced at him sharply, and he tipped his head to indicate the two kids behind us.

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes at his ridiculousness, but he just shrugged. "See you later?"

"Yeah, later." He continued on through the main door leading out into the parking lot while I paused, looking for Bella.

She was standing to one side with Jasper and Alice, and they met me halfway across the lobby. It was probably rude, but I barely registered that Jazz and Alice were there.

"Congratulations," she said, smiling and looking at me shyly. It was quite a change from how she'd been looking at me inside the rink. Maybe she was a little embarrassed, but I had liked it – a lot.

"Thanks. So, what did you think of your first hockey game?" I was honestly curious. I hoped she'd enjoyed it and would want to come to more.

"It was…great. You were incredible."

Incredible. She thought I was incredible. And wonderful – she'd said so the night before. Incredible and wonderful. I could definitely work with that.

Ben and Angela joined us, and we all headed to the parking lot. They said they'd meet us at the party, so the four of us got into the Volvo. They gave me some shit about my hair still being wet, but I played it off, not wanting to admit I'd been in a rush to see Bella. I rolled the window down and stuck my head out, rubbing briskly and drying it in the wind. I had a tendency to dry it that way when I was in a rush, but I didn't usually have someone sitting in the back seat.

"Jackass!" Jasper yelled as moisture came back through the window. I laughed – he was such a pussy. My hair wasn't that wet.

"Looks about the same, either way." It was true. It didn't matter if I let it air dry, used a blow-dryer – the one time I tried that had turned out to be a disaster of major proportions – or stuck it out the window. It was always a mess. Stupid cowlicks.

I turned to Bella with a grin, but it faded when I saw that she was staring at me again. Her hand jerked up toward her face, and she bit down on her finger for some reason. And for some reason, it turned me on instantly – not that I had that far to go to get there. I stared as best I could while still driving, my eyes going back to her teeth sunk into her finger, her pink lips around it, and my breathing deepened to match hers. Holy fuck, I wanted to bite her finger or any other part of her body she'd let my mouth near.

Jasper coughed, the sound loud and completely fake. "Do you want me to drive so you two can have the back seat?" he drawled. "Honestly, Edward, cut that shit out, we don't need to see it." Overdramatic retching sounds came from the back seat, along with Alice's giggles.

"You're just jealous, Whitlock," I said, watching regretfully as Bella lowered her hand to her lap. It lay on top of her thigh, against the denim of her jeans, and I reached over to take it in mine.

"Yeah, you never look at me like that," Jasper joked. I grinned as I shot one last look at Bella.

She was looking at our hands where they rested on the console, but her gaze lifted to meet mine, eyes glinting in happiness. I tightened my fingers, asking silently if it was okay. She returned the pressure with a wide smile curving her mouth, and I knew it was going to be better than just okay.


	14. Chapter 14: Light The Lamp

**SM, not me.**

**Thanks to SunKing and Sarahsumbrella for their beta skills and constant support and friendship.**

**On with the smooching.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 14: Light The Lamp**

I was starving, like I always was after a game, so we stopped to grab something to eat on our way over to Crowley's. Playing hard made me horny, too, and for some weird reason, it was always more intense when we won. I was determined to do something about that. It was the first opportunity I'd had in really long time to spend my pent-up sexual energy on someone other than myself…well, that wasn't exactly true. There had been plenty of opportunity, just no serious interest on my part. It was safe to say that I was seriously interested in Bella.

With some food in my belly and one of my appetites satisfied, I decided it was time to start working on the other. Bella looked so good sitting next to me in the car as I drove to Crowley's. I wanted to eat her up in big, hungry bites. No, I wanted to lick, to savor, to…hell, I just wanted to kiss her. I wasn't too sure about my chances at the party, but I was sure that I didn't want to kiss her in front of an audience. I wanted to be able to take my time and enjoy it, make sure she was comfortable and she enjoyed it, too. She was a private person, maybe even more than I was. I knew she wasn't the type to make out in a corner of a crowded boisterous party, and that was just fine by me.

There were already a number of cars lining the street, but I found a place to park the Volvo only a short distance from Crowley's house. Light, activity, and noise emanated from the large home set slightly back from the road. I hoped it wouldn't get too much rowdier, otherwise it would be a short night. On the other hand, I was hoping to come up with an excuse to leave early with Bella. She got out of the car before I had a chance to come around and open the door for her. I changed course when I saw her step onto the sidewalk with Jasper and Alice and went back to the trunk I had unlatched from inside the car. I grabbed the brown paper bag I had stuffed in there before the game and tucked it under my arm. I was driving so I'd brought my own drinks – ginger ale.

It wasn't that I didn't drink alcohol. I did, whenever the mood struck me. I had a weird tolerance for it due to my metabolism and body composition. No matter how much I drank, once I hit a certain point, I just stayed pleasantly buzzed. I never got really wasted or sick or anything. I hit that plateau, and if I kept drinking, my stomach would just hurt from too much liquid after a while. In any case, my dad had spent his career in emergency medicine and could give a lecture about the dangers of drunk driving, complete with visuals, like nobody else. I wasn't about to give up my control or ruin all the hard work I'd put into training and conditioning, achieving and maintaining my physical condition. It wasn't worth an hour or few of screwing around.

Jasper and I followed the girls into the house and were hit with the sounds and smells of the party in full swing when the door opened. Bella gestured to where Ben was sitting in a chair with Angela on his lap as she headed over to them.

I lifted my bag. "Fridge," I said to Jasper, and he nodded. "Want a beer?"

He looked at Alice, but she shook her head with a small grimace. "I'll grab something in a minute," he said.

"Want a ginger ale?" I asked Alice. She raised her eyebrows in surprise, glancing at the bag in my hands, but shook her head.

"I'm good, Edward. Thanks, though."

I walked into the kitchen, lifting my chin in acknowledgement of the calls and shouts in my direction when I entered the room. I grabbed a red plastic cup from a stack on the table and opened the refrigerator. It was packed full, so I just set the six-pack of soda on the counter instead and opened one, pouring it into the cup. After tossing the empty can in the garbage, I heard my name called yet again and looked up to see Bill standing on the other side of the room with his girlfriend. I walked over, sipping at my drink, but caught sight of Rick down a narrow hallway. He was talking with two girls and glanced at me, deliberately tapping his cheek twice. It was a sign we'd all developed as our Rescue Ranger signal. I excused myself from Bill and walked down the hall toward him, smirking.

I nodded at the girls, who I vaguely recognized, before turning to Rick. "So, where's your girl tonight?" I asked. He'd been dating the same girl for years, but she was a year older than he was and a freshman at U-Dub in Seattle.

"She should be here any minute," he said, holding up his phone. "She just texted me."

"Great." I took a sip of my drink and tried to think of a way we could politely excuse ourselves.

"You know Edward, right?" he said to the two girls, not helping me in the least.

"Hey, Edward. Good game tonight." I was pretty sure the blonde girl was one of the Annes. We had like twelve of them in our school. She staggered a step forward, falling against me and drunkenly rubbing her hand inside my jacket along my chest. I deftly grabbed it and gently but firmly lowered it back to her side.

"Thanks," I said, and saw Rick enjoying my obvious discomfort, the bastard. She tried to insinuate her hand inside my jacket again, but I caught it in mid-air and gave it a friendly squeeze, as if I was greeting her. She frowned slightly in confusion as I gently guided her in a half-turn, giving a very light nudge in the direction of the kitchen. I knew she was tipsy enough she'd have no idea she hadn't intended to head that way all along. Her friend followed after a longing look at Rick, and I turned back to see him grinning ear to ear. "What?"

"She was kind of cute, Cullen, and obviously wanted to congratulate you on a job well done. And you deserve it. So…" He raised his brows inquiringly. "Why'd you send her on her merry way?"

"I'm here with somebody." I couldn't help the satisfied smirk that spread across my face. God, how long had I wanted to say those words? How long had I wanted to say them about Bella? I'd been waiting a very long time, and it felt every bit as good as I thought it would. I was there with Bella.

"Oh, you came with Swan tonight? Cool." I stared at his casual tone. It was quite anti-climactic. This should be big news – huge. He should be amazed, astounded, and mad with jealousy. I was there with Bella. "You guys finally made it official, huh?"

Made it…_huh?_ "What?" I asked.

"You know." He waved his hand carelessly in the air and took a drink of whatever was in his cup. "The whole 'are you or aren't you' thing. Everyone was wondering." I vacillated between being pissed and feeling satisfied. I'd wanted everyone to think we were going out, but didn't want everyone speculating and talking about us. I knew it didn't make any sense, but fuck it.

"Good to know you made it official. It's about time," Rick continued blithely. "There were a few guys who wanted to ask her out, but they were scared of you and your wicked temper."

I stared at him. _What?_ A few guys… _What? _They wanted to…someone else had thought they were going to… Oh, hell no.

"Which guys?" I bit out. My wicked temper was about to blow. Someone thought they were going to get a shot at my girl? Not a fucking chance.

Rick looked at me, startled by my tone. "Oh. Uh…I…don't remember?"

"Who?" I demanded, my voice dropping into a soft, scary tone. I'd make damn sure no one messed with my girl.

A movement at the end of the hall distracted me. I heard Rick give a sigh of relief as I turned to see who it was, but he wasn't getting off the hook that easy. I'd find out who he'd overheard that had designs on my girl and make sure they had no doubt Bella was no longer available. Because she wasn't, I thought with great satisfaction. No one would be asking her out but me. She didn't want to go out with anyone but me.

I wasn't surprised to see Bella standing uncertainly at the other end of the hall. It was almost as if I'd wished her there with the force of my possessive thoughts. She offered me a hesitant, sweet smile, and I let out a quiet grunt at the sharp sensation of my heart turning over in my chest. Rick glanced up at me at the sound, and I was prepared to be defensive, but he just smiled.

I called to her when she stood half in the kitchen, half in the hall. When she got to us, her face was touched with that stunning red flush, and I couldn't help it. I grabbed her. I managed to simply hold her to my side, controlling my desire to just haul her off her feet and kiss her senseless. I reminded myself we weren't alone and introduced her to Rick.

"Hi, Bella." I watched him closely as he took her hand, my caveman instincts still running a little high, and I knew I wasn't hiding it from him as his mouth quirked. He cast me a quick, knowing glance, and made himself scarce. "I'll talk to you later then, Cullen."

Bella started to apologize for interrupting us, which was kind of dumb. Rick didn't count, not when it came to her. I wanted to push her up against the wall, trap her with my body, and put my mouth all over her. I could just imagine the soft, sweet heat of her mouth parting for my tongue, accepting me. I'd spent so much time imagining it that I could hardly bear waiting for the reality.

I knew I'd have to distract myself before I scared her. Oh, I was going to kiss her, and kiss her well, but I wanted to be smooth. I wanted to be good. I wanted our first kiss to be something she'd always remember – something that we'd _both_ always remember. She was clutching her cup as she leaned into my embrace, and I looked down into it, wanting to prove to the both of us that I wasn't a complete caveman.

"Are you drinking beer?" I asked. "Need another?"

The blush deepened in her cheeks and…Christ. _Get it together, Cullen_. I wasn't twelve. "No, I, uh…it's…ginger ale," she stammered.

I just stared at her for a second. She had my… "Ginger ale?"

"Yeah." She looked uncomfortable, but I just grinned. We were more alike than I had thought. "I found some in the kitchen and borrowed one. I hope I can find whose it is so I can apologize or replace it or something. I feel kind of bad. What?" she demanded when I just continued to grin like an idiot. "Is there something wrong with ginger ale?" she asked, embarrassment evident in her voice.

"No, not at all." I held my cup out to her so she could see that I was drinking the same thing. She blinked in confusion, and then understanding dawned.

"The ginger ale is yours?"

"Yeah. That's what I got out of the trunk," I told her.

"Seriously?" A smile curved her mouth.

"Well, I'm the designated driver tonight," I explained, returning the grin. "Plus…emergency doctor's kid. Dad taught us early and well."

She tapped her thumb against her chest. "Police Chief's daughter. You have no idea."

I was once again struck by how we just connected with each other. She was still smiling, her face glowing, her lips slightly parted, and I knew I'd reached the end of my patience. I wanted to kiss her. I had to kiss her. I had to know what she felt like, what she tasted like. I kept my eyes on her face, watching for any sign she didn't want me to come closer, that she might not want me to kiss her. I didn't try to hide what I was doing. I wanted her to know, to accept or reject my closeness. I wanted her badly, but it was up to her. I slowly leaned in and braced the hand that wasn't holding my cup over her head, caging her between the wall and my body, giving her every chance to protest. We were finally alone with no cars to pull in or out and no fathers watching from the porch. Her breath caught and she bit her lip, lifting her head up to me, but the slight movement was telling. She wanted me close. She wanted me to kiss her.

"Bella," I said, wanting to be sure.

"H-hu-huh?" Oh, yeah. I'd read the signals right.

"We're not in a parking lot," I pointed out, knowing she'd get what I meant.

"N-no."

I took one last swallow of the soda in my cup, mostly out of a twinge of nervousness, but also to wet my suddenly dry mouth. I was finally going to kiss Bella. I wanted to savor the moment, and also hurry up before anything else could interrupt us. I wanted this moment to last, but I wanted it over with, so we could move on to second and third kisses and all the other fun things that followed. I just wanted her, desperately. I forced myself to go slow, so I didn't grab and take, reaching out to remove the cup from her hand and put it inside my empty one. I bent down, set them on the floor, and instantly forgot about them. I stood back up, brushing against her with my shoulder, my arm, ever so lightly with my chest, getting her used to the violation of her intimate space. She swayed toward me, accepting, inviting, and allowing. My heart began to pound like it never had before, not even on the ice.

Tension built inside my chest, stomach, and groin. I reached out to touch her bottom lip with the pad of my thumb, again hoping it was okay and she wouldn't jerk away in surprise. We both let out a small gasp when I made contact. It was so light – barely there – but I felt it down to my toes. She was so soft. Her mouth parted slightly as I slid my thumb along that silky smooth, pink skin, feeling the warmth of her breath as she gasped lightly again, the hint of wetness as I brushed just along the inside of her lip. I barely controlled a shudder of lust. I forced my thumb away from her mouth, curling my fingers under her jaw and chin, marveling at the texture of her smooth skin. I never wanted to stop touching her. I brought us the smallest inch closer, placing my feet slightly apart to settle her between them as I brought my other hand up to cup her face. I just stared at her, in my hands, against my body. My breathing turned ragged. I lowered my head as she lifted hers, and I could feel her breath brushing rapidly across my chin, mouth, and cheeks as she waited for me to kiss her – anticipated me kissing her. _Oh, sweet girl,_ I thought. _You have no idea._

There was a loud commotion at the other end of the hallway, and I thought I was going to spontaneously combust. _No, no, no!_

Kissing!

I was supposed to be kissing, not glaring and lifting my lip in a snarl at two innocent sophomores. This could not be happening. What the hell had I done to make karma want to smack me in the ass? _Really?_

I leaned into Bella with a groan, and the contact of her smaller body all along mine helped ease the tension, but also ratcheted it up a notch. Holy fucking unbelievable hell. Would I never get to kiss her?

Yes. Yes, I would. I needed to find someplace where we could be alone, with no interruptions and where no one could see. Bedrooms were upstairs, but that might freak her out, and I didn't want her to think I was expecting bedroom stuff right away. _Oh, fuck, don't think of bedroom stuff… _I was hard as a rock. I lifted my head and saw the darkened door to the empty bathroom at the far end of the hall, at the opposite end from the kitchen. Small, dark, private, and the door locked. Perfect.

"Come on." I took her elbow and pulled her after me, trying to control my grip and urgency. I don't know how successful I was, but she didn't protest as I practically ran the few feet to the bathroom. I pushed her inside, hitting the light and slamming the door behind us, holding her in place against the wall. I wanted to make sure she didn't go anywhere. I wanted to be sure no one took her away from me or distracted her… _Fuck_. I had to be sure she was okay, and that I wasn't being too rough, too presumptuous, or too forward. I wanted to be sure this was what _she_ wanted.

I took a deep breath and looked at her intently. I wanted to reassure her, but what came out was, "Bella, I swear to God, if I don't kiss you right now…"

I thought I'd ease her into the kiss, get her used to me and my touch, the closeness, that slight violation, even if she did welcome it. I didn't think she had a lot of experience when it came to all those intimate things, and I didn't want to overwhelm her with how strongly I felt. I'd planned on starting with soft touches, easy slides of lip, brushes of teeth maybe. Let our lips get to know each other, learn and search, and then our mouths, with presses, glides, soft suction. And then if I was lucky, just maybe our tongues. Savor. Build. Enjoy.

But Bella never did what I expected, and thank God for it. The minute our eyes met, she jumped me, her body crashing into mine as she threw her arms around my neck. Her hands buried themselves in the hair at the back of my head – yeah, my knees almost gave out at that amazing, intense rush of sensation – and I finally, _finally_ felt her mouth against mine.

It was all flash and heat, and amazing, searing pleasure. Sensation. All over. Rising, pulsing, growing. Greed. Need. This was _you've been fucking around too long, boy. Kiss me._

So I did.

I just let go and let everything I'd been feeling, everything I've been wanting, rise to the surface. She met me as my equal, matching me move for move, stroking, kissing, touching. The feel of her consumed me, the pleasure and unrestrained joy of finally having her in my arms, our mouths touching, invading, _kissing_. My arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her even closer, and somehow I had her against the wall. _Yessss_… Pressing, touching, frantically stroking. So satisfying, and yet, not quite. I needed more. Always more. She made a greedy, frenzied noise, and I was gone.

Tongues and lips and teeth. Hands gripping, sliding, stroking. Gasps and groans, wet sounds, happy sounds, pleasurable sounds. My hands greedily searched and learned what they could in the limited amount of space they had. I gripped her waist – so small, so soft – and slid to her hips, the flare and hardness of her hipbones. Then I was gripping her ass – oh God, oh holy _fuck_ – and forced my hands down the firm swell of her thigh. I was operating on pure instinct and want when I gripped the back of her legs just above the soft bend of her knee and pulled them up, up around my waist, until…

I moaned against her lips, parting mine over hers as I settled into the juncture of her thighs. It took every last bit of my shredded control not to thrust against her. I was hard and aching, and she felt so fucking good, but I didn't want to scare her. I didn't want to distract her, make her stop kissing me. And then I lost it completely, because when I parted my lips on my moan, I couldn't stop from running my tongue briefly along her soft lower lip. She gasped, and pulled my tongue into her mouth.

I whimpered in gratitude and in sheer, shocking pleasure. And then I devoured. I'd wanted for so long, dreamt about it, fantasized about kissing her and so much more…and if her tongue in my mouth felt that good, I couldn't even begin to imagine how… _Stop_. _Kissing. Just kiss her, and make it good._

That was easy enough. I concentrated as best I could on what felt good, to me and to her, not just shoving my tongue down her throat, but also focusing on sensation. Wild, hot, wet bursts of it. Teasing. Drawing it out, long, sweet, slow, and then satisfying that need. She was wrapped around me, and I was caught in her. She inside me, me inside her, sharing and giving until I realized the aching pressure in my chest wasn't just from the elation of finally kissing her. I was lightheaded from lack of oxygen, and if I was lightheaded – me, with my superior conditioning and training – I had to let the girl breathe.

"Sorry, so sorry, I didn't mean…" I forced myself to ease away, panting and squeezing my eyes shut at the loss, wanting her back instantly. I couldn't stop touching and kissing even as I apologized. I was distracted by the silky softness of her throat under my lips as I pressed my mouth and tongue there and under her jaw. She smelled so warm, so good, and felt even better. I never wanted to stop.

"Thank God you did," she said, and that last little bit of tension eased. She liked it. She wanted me, and there was no longer any doubt in my mind. I'd make her mine, just like I was hers, body and soul.

Her hands were touching, stroking, and smoothing, never lifting from some part of my body. It thrilled me beyond belief that she felt the same way I did. It seemed impossible and to good to be true, but there we were, together, kissing. Ah, the kissing. I needed to be kissing her and not just her neck. I lifted my head to look into her flushed, happy face, and saw that her eyes were focused on my mouth. I lowered my head slowly, watching her, thrilled when her eyes drifted closed and she sighed softly in delight as I touched my mouth to hers. That time was for savoring, for giving, for showing her how appreciative I was to have her where I'd wanted her for so long and how amazed I was that she wanted to be there, too. She shivered, and I groaned with pride and abject gratitude that I could make her react that way.

Her hands clutched my arms, sliding up to my shoulders to squeeze and stroke before going around my neck and into my hair once again. I never knew that could turn me on so much. I tilted my head, fitting her against me, gently licking her lower lip and pressing slightly, asking for permission to enter. She gave it eagerly, and my own hands stroked back along her thighs that were still wrapped around my waist until I palmed her ass. I groaned, gripping and pulling her instinctively against me, right where I wanted her the most, right where I was hard and aching. She echoed the sound, a long, low moan, and then gasped when I held her more firmly between my trembling body and the wall. I couldn't stop myself from pressing my hips against her, into her. She brought her head back to look at me, and I examined her face carefully, looking for disgust, shock, or any indication she was upset. She just stared, and she did look a little shocked, but her eyes were wide and wondering and…interested. She didn't take them from mine as she gave an experimental wiggle, and fire shot out of the top of my head at the wonderful, unbelievable feeling. Jesus, it had been so long since something other than my hand had caused friction down there, and it felt amazing.

Nothing could stop me from kissing her again except her hand, pushing against my chest. Fuck, I had creeped her out, rubbing up against her like some perverted, hormonal teenager…oh. Hm. I guess I was, but I had hoped to hide that from her until at least our third or fourth date.

"Sh!" she said right in my face, and I blinked. Had I made a noise? If I had, it was probably weird and embarrassing. "Listen!" I blinked some more, but then I heard voices coming from the other side of the door.

I had forgotten to lock the door when we came in.

Well, I'd been a little distracted, and then when she jumped on me… I hadn't been capable of thinking of anything else. My hand shot out and gripped the knob just as it started to turn. Her mouth fell open in surprise as I gripped harder when it rattled loudly.

"Not locked?" she whispered, eyes wide, and I wanted to kick myself.

I wasn't doing a very good job of protecting her privacy. She unhooked her legs from around my waist and stood on her own. I felt a pang at the loss – _no, come back, more kissing_ – but she grabbed my free hand and leaned against me, staring at the other where it was firmly wrapped around the doorknob. She jumped when whoever was on the other side of the door began pounding on it and held her breath until we heard the murmur of voices fade as they moved back down the hall.

She glanced at me, and we just stared at each other for a second before bursting out in nervous, relieved laughter. I was really glad she wasn't upset and wrapped my free arm around her, pulling her close. I didn't let go of the doorknob, just in case, but I wanted to put my lips on her again so badly I figured it was worth the risk. I bent my head to brush my lips along the soft skin just below her ear. She smelled fantastic and felt so good right where she was. I was so happy to have finally gotten the chance to put my mouth on her.

"I swear to God, trying to kiss you is quite a unique experience." I thought about the varied and frustrating attempts I'd made to kiss her the previous night and shook my head in exasperated amusement. After making sure I locked the door, I turned back to her, and she put her arms around my waist like she didn't want to let me go. I was all for that.

"That kiss was a unique experience," she said, burying her face in my chest. I frowned, hoping it wasn't because…she didn't like it? No, she liked it, I could tell that much. She'd been just as out of control and eager as I had. Still, it wasn't the first kiss I'd envisioned for us, even if it had ended up being better than I could have imagined.

"You're okay, right?" I asked. "It was a little…rough, I guess. I'm sorry about that. It was just – _ugh_." Ugh, indeed. Ugh, and then some. "I had to."

Her arms tightened around me, and I pressed a kiss to the top of her head, still wrestling with the urge to put my lips on her everywhere. She sighed, and it was a happy sigh. I echoed it.

"It was a great first kiss, Edward. No worries here," she said softly. My stomach clenched in relief and delight. That definitely meant she'd liked it and that she'd let me do it again. I realized that I was running my hands up and down her back, wanting to feel her, still not quite believing we were together like I'd been fantasizing about for so long. I smiled and gave myself a mental fist pump.

"As a matter of fact," she continued after a moment, "If you wanted to try for another one, it would be all right with me."

"Yeah?" _Yes!_ She wanted me to kiss her again.

"Oh, yeah."

So I did.

"Wow," she sighed, her tongue sweeping out to lick her lower lip. Her eyes were still closed, and I was leaning down for more when she opened them.

"Still okay?" I asked, not able to stop myself from brushing my fingers along her full lower lip if I couldn't be kissing it.

She made a happy, contented noise deep in her throat. "Um, if you want to try the first kind again, just to compare, I wouldn't mind."

Neither would I, but a loud surge of music came from the front room, bringing me back to reality. I realized we were still in the bathroom. She was looking up at me, at my mouth, and I had to give a wry chuckle of disbelief when she made a sound of protest as I took a step away from the temptation of her. I couldn't believe I was the one putting a stop to our activities. But I wasn't really, I reminded myself. I just wanted to move it to a more appropriate location. I let my hand trail down her arm and took her hand in mine.

"If we're going to do that, I'd rather take this someplace a little more private. You know, someplace other than a room with a toilet in it," I told her.

She kept staring at my mouth for a few more seconds, and just as I was getting ready to say fuck it and start kissing her again, she finally glanced around, her eyes widening in surprise. It did my ego good to see that she'd forgotten all about where we were, too.

"Oh. Yeah," she said, biting her lip, and I wanted to lean down and bite it myself. "Good thinking," she continued, and I started in surprise, thinking she was answering my thought about biting her. "Where?"

Oh. She was talking about my suggestion we go somewhere else. That was too bad, I thought, even as I planned on biting her lip – and some other things – later. But where could we go? I thought about the bedrooms upstairs once again, but I dismissed the idea as quickly as it came. There really wasn't anywhere else in the house that was private and where people couldn't just pop in and interrupt. We needed somewhere no one would find us, that was comfortable, and had locking doors. "The Volvo?"

She beamed at me, squeezing my hand. "I love that car," she said, nodding in approval. God I loved this girl. She thought exactly the same way I did.

"C'mon." I stuck my head out the door and looked up and down the hall. I didn't see anyone and took advantage of the momentary quiet to grip her hand and give an easy tug, hoping she'd understand the need to be quiet and move quickly. I wanted to get her alone as soon as possible, and I didn't want to get stopped by anyone in the meantime. I knew the chances were slim, but if I kept my head down and moved fast, we just might get out of the house without being ambushed.

I made a beeline for the kitchen. It was the shortest route outside, but I knew I was taking a risk by passing the beer keg where there would be a ton of people. I tried to maintain a low profile without being too obvious, keeping to the fringes of the crowd, not making eye contact, holding onto Bella with a firm grip and keeping up a steady pace. We made it off the porch and to the backyard, and I paused briefly at the side of the house, scanning the walk to make sure no one was coming or going from the front door. There was a momentary lull, and I made a dash for the Volvo.

"Edward, what – " Bella began breathlessly from behind me.

"If anyone stopped us, we'd be stuck in there for hours," I told her, wanting to get in the car before we were spotted.

I unlocked the door, my hand hovering in the air as I debated about whether it would be too much to jump in the backseat. It kind of had the same connotations as a bedroom, maybe even a little worse. While I hoped someday to get her into both, I knew that night wasn't the right time. Besides, maybe the console between the front seats would help me control myself. I knew I needed all the obstacles I could get, or I'd have us both stripped and bare in about thirty seconds. I opened the passenger side front door for her, and she slipped in quickly. I ran around to the driver's side, not caring that I probably looked like an idiot. I shut and locked the door behind me, taking a deep breath as I turned to her. We were finally alone in my car.

"So," I said with satisfaction. "I think we were right…about…here." I slowly slid my hand around her neck, burying it in her long, dark hair. It wrapped around my fingers like live silk, and I stifled a groan. I'd wanted to touch her hair, her skin, for so long, and here I was, doing just that.

The initial overwhelming need to kiss her had passed and settled into a steady ache. It was only slightly more manageable, but enough so that I could take my time and indulge in some of the less graphic fantasies I'd been having. I ran her hair through my fingers, resisting the urge to grab it in my fist. I had a mental image of it swirling and sliding across my thighs, my groin, my…holy fuck. I swallowed heavily, and then put slight pressure on the back of her neck to bring her mouth closer so I could kiss her.

Her mouth opened under mine as soon as our lips touched. I reveled in the rich taste, the pure, shooting sensation, the warm, slick tangle. It was long, slow, and wet; deep, searching, and needy, over and over. I wanted to absorb her, to hang on to this amazing feeling and the warm satisfaction that permeated every part of me. I didn't want it to end. I wanted to make her feel it, too. I tried to concentrate, to see what made her respond and what made her feel the same unbelievable way I did. I must have been successful, because she moaned into my mouth and rose up onto her knees in the seat, leaning over the console and fisting her hands in _my_ hair. All the blood in my body shot to my groin. I couldn't remember much after that, just the feel of her, but I came back to myself when I realized my hands were sliding inside her jacket and along her waist, searching for the hem of her shirt. Even in my lust-ridden state I knew it was too soon. When I finally got my hands on her bare skin, under her shirt, I wanted it to mean something. I wanted to be able to take my time, to make sure she enjoyed it as much as I did, and I really wanted to be able to actually see her.

I eased back reluctantly, and she followed, lying over the low console and snuggling against my chest with a happy sigh. I felt full to bursting with the satisfaction of having her in my arms, and of her wanting to be in my arms. I tried to control my breathing – not much made me out of breath, but kissing Bella certainly did. I held her close, leaning my head back against the headrest and just taking pleasure in the contentment of the moment. My lips were pleasantly sore and tingly, my arms full of fragrant, warm girl, my chest tight with emotion. I was half-erect, but the tension felt good, as did knowing that there was a better than good chance it would be resolved soon, even if it was just kissing. Just kissing with Bella felt better than any other sexual activity I'd participated in my whole life. I was just about to indulge in a little more of that kissing when she suddenly jerked in my arms, bolting upright and bashing me in the jaw with her head.

I just barely missed biting my tongue as my teeth clicked together, and the reverberations jangling through my head cleared my kiss-fogged brain. She was sitting rigid in the seat and staring out the window. I started to ask her what was wrong, and then got a clear look at her pale face. Her eyes were huge and she was panting, not in lust, but in what I thought might be fear. Oh shit, had I scared her? Was she regretting making out in the car? I'd pushed too hard, probably, but…I could have sworn she was with me all the way.

"Bella, what?"

Her mouth opened, but no sound emerged. She still wasn't looking at me. She was staring out the front windshield, and she brought her hand up slowly, pointing. "E-Edward…" she said in a weak, trembling voice that scared the fuck out of me. Something was wrong. "Ed-Edward…"

"What?" I ran my hands over her shoulders, holding on to her arms, my eyes taking in every bit of her that I could see. Was she hurt somehow? I didn't know how she could be, as she'd been fine just a second before, but her voice was really starting to freak me out a little.

"M-my…my…" She gestured roughly toward the hood, and suddenly I realized whatever had scared her was outside the car. Every horror movie I'd ever seen flashed before my eyes as adrenaline flooded my system in response. My head knew it was ridiculous, but my body reacted automatically.

My head whipped forward, my eyes searching for the threat, and then the adrenaline dump doubled. Holy fucking shit.

"My _Dad_!" she whispered forcefully, and my jaw dropped.


	15. Chapter 15: Sauce

**SM, as always, not mine.**

**Love and affection to Sarahsumbrella and SunKing for bet-ing.**

**Same to all of you for reading and reviewing - thank you!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 15: Sauce**

Oh, I was so dead. I had the Chief of Police's daughter in my car, kissing the fuck out of her, and he was only inches from the hood. How had he known where to find us? My entire body froze while my brain scrambled, thinking of how best to protect Bella – and myself – from certain death. My eyes locked on his gun, and it kind of disrupted my thought process. He walked past the car, up the sidewalk, and toward the front door of Crowley's house.

I didn't think he'd seen us sitting in the Volvo and figured we had a few seconds reprieve. I briefly thought about grabbing Bella and making a run for it. I got a brief mental picture of us holding hands, crouching, and running down the sidewalk like some bad action movie or horror film or something. I was giving it serious consideration despite how stupid we might look, when I realized she was shaking. I glanced at her sharply, and then did a double take. She wasn't scared of getting caught by her father, as I had first thought. She was _laughing_. Was she crazy?

"He's here to break up the party. A neighbor or someone must have called," she explained, covering her mouth in an effort to hold back the slightly hysterical, relieved giggles. "Not to find me. Oh, Edward, he's not here because of us!"

It took a couple of seconds for my mind to process we weren't facing imminent death, and she was right. My gaze swung from her red face to where her dad was approaching Crowley's house, and I suddenly realized it was much more likely he was there in an official capacity rather than a personal one. The breath left my lungs in a whoosh. I was still clutching her arms, so I forced my fingers to release their grip on the sleeves of her jacket.

"I almost had a fucking coronary," I told her, feeling a little lightheaded with relief. "Jesus, Bella."

I glanced back at her dad, who was knocking on the front door, and I was glad we'd decided to leave the house for the relative privacy of the car. A grin tugged at the corner of my mouth as I realized exactly why we had vacated the premises.

"You do realize we aren't being busted at the party – by your father who just happens to be the Chief of Police—because we left to go make out in my car?" Once I realized I probably wasn't going to be gunned down by her pissed off father, at least not at that moment, I began to see the humor in the situation.

"Saved by making out." She laughed. "Now there's a concept I can get used to. Good thing you suggested moving this to the car."

"Yeah." I realized we needed to get out of there, but I felt like I was forgetting something. _What the hell could it be?_ I had my keys, my phone, Bella... Oh, yeah. "Wait, we need to call Alice and Jasper."

"We need to get the hell out of here," she said, giving me a disbelieving look before glancing meaningfully at her father. He was at the front door, pressing the doorbell impatiently. "Your car is kind of noticeable, you know."

She was right. He could still see my car and the fact I was sitting in it with his daughter. The windows were slightly fogged which was a dead giveaway. I started to turn the key in the ignition, but thought better of it. The engine on the Volvo was pretty quiet, but I knew that a car starting up behind him would attract his attention. I chewed on my lip as I thought for a second and then smiled grimly to myself, remembering Emmett sneaking around with Rose and trying to avoid her dad. Commander Whitlock was almost as scary as Chief Swan. I pressed the brake and said a prayer, carefully slipping the transmission into neutral. I felt the slight rock of the Volvo as it shifted, and I let out another gust of air in relief. I thought it just might work.

"What are you doing?" Bella asked in a low voice, watching me curiously and then following my gaze out the back window as I turned to guide the car down the slight incline. Luck was with us – the car that had been parked behind me when we had arrived was no longer there. It was a clear shot to the corner.

"Call Alice," I told her. "Tell her and Jasper to get the hell out of there and meet us the next block over. We're on a slope. I'm trying to get us out of here so he doesn't hear the engine and look." I gestured at her dad's figure on the porch, where we could see him standing in the open doorway and talking to Crowley.

She made a satisfied noise and pulled out her phone. "Good one, Cullen."

"It pays to have Emmett as an older brother." I carefully steered us a safe distance away before starting the car, driving slowly around the corner to wait for Jasper and Alice.

About a minute later I spotted them coming up behind us, holding hands and breaking into a jog when they saw the car. Jasper opened the back door for Alice before running around to the other side to slide in beside her.

"Um, Bella, did you know your dad's kind of a buzz kill?" Jasper joked as I drove away with a sigh of relief.

"Every party needs a pooper," she said, and I snorted a laugh.

"You guys are lucky you got out of there without him seeing you," Alice said, leaning forward to briefly put her head between us. "How did you get out of the house so fast?"

Bella and I exchanged a look, identical smiles on our faces. It felt good to share a secret between us, and the memories of kisses and touches, groans and gasps filled my head. I knew she was thinking the same thing when I saw her cheeks turn pink.

Alice huffed and rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. "Never mind, pervs. I don't want to know."

Jasper made a show of examining the back seat. "Ew. I better not be sitting in anything disgusting."

"Shut the fuck up, Whitlock," I growled. I shot a look out of the corner of my eye at Bella, but she refused to look at me, biting her lip and trying not to laugh. "Do you want me to take you guys home?"

"Just drop me off at Alice's," he said. "She can drive me home later."

It wasn't far to the Brandon's, but by the time we got there, it was getting close to midnight. I caught Bella glancing at the clock as Jazz and Alice disappeared inside.

"I guess I'd better get you home, huh?" I asked with a decided lack of enthusiasm.

"Yeah," she agreed with the same reluctance. "Charlie's shift ends at midnight. He'll be home not too long after that."

"Definitely better get you home," I said, pulling back out onto the street. "I don't want to press my luck twice in one night."

I pulled into her driveway, turning off the car and heading over to her side. I was mildly surprised to see that she hadn't already gotten out, as she seemed to enjoy beating me out of the car before I could open her door. When I did open it, she just sat there pouting a little. I felt anxiety creep up inside me. When she looked like that – her brown eyes huge and sad, her lower lip full soft and sticking out – I'd do anything she wanted.

"What's the matter?' I questioned as she continued to sit there. She looked up at me – full pout – and my heart cracked wide open. I'd do fucking anything for this girl. "Bella?"

"I don't want to go inside," she admitted softly, looking down at her hands twisting in her lap.

I groaned, both thrilled and disappointed. I couldn't give her what she wanted, but I was glad she did want it.

"I don't want you to go, either." I reached out to take her hand and pulled her to her feet. She leaned against me gladly when I tugged her against my chest, lowering my forehead to hers.

"Thanks for coming tonight," I whispered, looking into her eyes. They were so very close to mine.

"Thanks for kissing me," she said just as softly, and I jerked slightly in surprise. Her mouth fell open in shock, and then hot color flooded her face. "Oh my God," she whispered, mortified. "I mean, thanks for asking me. That's what I meant to say. Thanks for _asking_ me. Oh, God."

"You're welcome," I murmured, dipping my head to hide my smile and brush my lips across hers. "For both. Any time."

Her hands fisted in the lapels of my coat as she pulled me to her, standing on her tiptoes and kissing me hard. I tangled my fingers in her hair, groaning as her tongue swept across my lower lip and then slid along mine. She pushed insistently on my chest and turned until she had me pinned between her and the car. I obligingly slid down a little to give her better access, and then all I could think about was her – her taste, her smell, her mouth on mine, hands on my chest, around my neck, tugging on my hair. She pressed against me, and I held her close until we broke apart, panting for breath.

"I've got to go," she said grudgingly with a sigh and laying her head on my chest. I tightened my arms, loving the feel of her, feeling a bit grudging about having to leave, as well.

"Yeah, I'd better go, too," I said, determinedly standing up and setting her securely on her own two feet. "I think if your dad came home and found us like this, he wouldn't hesitate to discharge his weapon."

I walked her to the front door, giving her one last kiss before stepping away, but neither of us let go of the other's hand.

"Thanks again," she said, then narrowed her eyes when I grinned, remembering what she'd thanked me for earlier. "Shut up."

"You're welcome – again." I gave her one more kiss before forcing myself to walk down the steps. I paused at the bottom, watching as she unlocked the door and stepped inside. She gave me a little wave, and I returned it, going to the car only after she'd shut and locked the door behind her.

I drove home, thinking about how happy I'd been the night before after I'd dropped Bella off at her house. I'd thought that had been one of the best nights of my life, and it didn't even come close in comparison to the night I'd just experienced with her. Kissing her had been mind-blowing, as was knowing that she wanted that from me – and more, if I wasn't mistaken and reading her signals wrong.

I frowned. I was pretty sure Bella wasn't experienced, not sexually. I wanted her – wanted her badly – but I knew she was still a virgin. I'd have to go slow, be careful, considerate, but…shit. I had no experience with a virgin. The two girls I'd slept with in my life had been a little older, quite a bit wiser, and most definitely not virginal. I'd learned quite a lot in my short but illuminating time with Carole, whom I'd met while visiting Emmett and Rosalie at USC a little over a year ago, but the only virgin in that scenario had been me. I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel as I drove, considering, but then pushed that worry aside for later contemplation. It would be a while until Bella and I were ready to take that step. I'd have plenty of time to make a plan and talk to her about it, but I decided to do something completely unlike me and just enjoy the moment. There was so very much to enjoy, after all.

I called Bella the next day. I hadn't been able to stop thinking about her. I wanted to talk to her, to see her again if possible, so I just called. None of that _should I wait a few days, should I wait for her to call me, should I wait to see her in school on Monday _shit. I wanted to talk to her, so I'd picked up my cell, scrolled to her name, and hit send. No one had to know how many times I'd done the pick-up-and-scroll thing just so I could see her name and number finally, _finally_ in my contact list. No one had to know I was acting like a fucking twelve-year-old girl with her first crush.

I didn't care at all how I was acting when I heard her voice. I was just glad I had acted. We talked while I grinned into the phone like an idiot. She mentioned having to go grocery shopping, and I pretty much invited myself along. She sounded more excited about going after that, so I figured she didn't mind or think I was being a clingy bastard. We made arrangements to meet at the Forks Thriftway, and I made a dash for the shower.

Mom was in the kitchen putting groceries away when I made it downstairs. I skidded to a stop in the foyer, checking my hair in the mirror on the wall. I scowled and rubbed my hands through it when I saw it was sticking up all over my head as usual. I gave Mom a kiss on the cheek as I blew past, grabbing my keys off the counter.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"To the grocery store."

Her mouth opened and she stared at me in confusion. "But I was just there!" She glanced around at all of the bags and food spread over the counters.

"I'm going with Bella." I grinned as I grabbed some grapes out of the strainer in the sink and tossed them into my mouth.

She continued to stare. "You're taking Bella on a date to the grocery store?" Her look of confusion changed to one of amusement. "I'd expect that from Emmett, maybe, but not from you. Even with your appetite."

"Ha ha," I said dryly. "She said she had to go today, and I wanted to see her, so…" I shrugged. It wasn't that weird. Was it?

"Well, have fun," she said with a dubious lift of her brow, and I nodded.

"Need anything?"

"I think I got it covered." She gestured at the packages covering most of the available surfaces.

I grabbed some more grapes and a handful of cookies that were sitting out, and headed for the garage.

I didn't see Bella's truck in the parking lot when I got to the store. I jumped out of the car, jogging through the light rain to the front entrance so there would be no chance I missed her. Not even a minute later, I heard the deep, coughing rumble of her old truck and saw it pull into the lot. I watched her get out of the car and walk swiftly toward me, the damp sticking to her dark hair and clinging to her skin, making it shine. She smiled a big happy smile when she saw me. My breath hitched in my chest.

She greeted me, being a smartass and acting like she was surprised to see me waiting for her. My arm naturally slipped over her shoulders as she leaned into me. Her pretty hair was just _right_ _there_, and the next thing I knew I was pressing my mouth to the top of her head. My lungs filled with a sweet, faintly fruity scent, and it was all I could do not to press my mouth to hers. I tried to keep in mind that she was shy and probably somewhat inexperienced. As willing and enthusiastic as she'd been to kiss me the night before, and keep on kissing me, and…_must not go there_.

That had been private, just the two of us. I wasn't sure how ready she was for any public display of affection, especially a kiss like the one I wanted to give her standing right in the main entrance of the Thriftway. I didn't care, but I wasn't sure if she was ready for something like that. The last thing I wanted to do was scare her off or make her uncomfortable.

Her hand lingered on my chest. She was touching me in public, in the entrance of Thriftway, and only a faint hint of her usual blush touched her cheeks. I heard her soft sigh, and she leaned in just the smallest fraction closer. Her head tilted up to mine as she unmistakably offered me her mouth. "I think you missed."

I stared in surprise for a brief second before my hormones kicked me square in the ass. She wanted me to kiss her properly and, damn, I wanted to do it. If she wanted a kiss, I'd give her one every time. I slid my hands over her jean-clad hips, curving around them, pulling her even closer before licking my lips in anticipation. I felt her hands fist in my T-shirt, her nails scraping through the fabric and the slight pinch of my skin, the inadvertent pull of the hairs on my chest. The sensation shot straight to my groin. I fought back a moan and held on to my control, forcing myself to remain clear-headed. I had to be easy, gentle, and respectful. I couldn't take her mouth, hoist her up, and lock her legs around my waist while I pushed her into the community bulletin board on the wall next to us, rubbing and grinding and…

Just a kiss. That's all it was, but I was beginning to suspect it would never be just a kiss with Bella. I closed my teeth gently over her lip when I wanted to bite, ran my tongue over the spot slowly when I wanted to plunge. I realized I was digging my fingers into her jeans, and was glad it was over the thicker material of her waistband so I didn't mark her. And holy fucking hell, that was a thought I could have done without. Marking her…Jesus. _Yes, please_. And let her mark me. I forced myself to let her go, and she relaxed with a satisfied noise. I leaned down to brush my nose and cheek in her hair while I took a second to calm down.

"Better?" I whispered, not able to keep the happy smile off my face.

"Who am I?" she joked, but her eyes were wide and her face flushed. "Where am I?"

I knew she was just playing around, but the words gave me a thrill. I could make her dizzy with kisses. She wanted to kiss me so much that she'd overcome her innate shyness and laid one on me in public. I wanted to do a victory dance, but I settled for slipping my arm around her waist and turning toward the doors.

"Let's get you some groceries."

I'd never thought of shopping for groceries as fun. It was just a necessary step before getting to actually eat it – which I did enjoy – but we had a good time joking and laughing as we walked down the aisles. She was smart and funny in addition to being so pretty it made my throat ache. We had a good-natured argument in the cereal aisle – after all, the experts said breakfast was the most important meal of the day. I saw a box on the self and grabbed it, holding it up teasingly to her with a raised brow before putting it in the cart. It was a box of Trix, and I remembered the absorbed look on her face when I'd translated the "Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids" Spanish assignment into French, German, and Italian. Especially Italian. I knew she'd liked that. She chewed on her bottom lip when she saw the box and that gorgeous blush colored her cheeks. I grinned, telling her in a low, smooth murmur about the first time I'd seen her, how badly I'd wanted to get to know her, all in Italian.

The color in her cheeks intensified. "I'm not going to be able to eat that now without thinking of you speaking Italian, you know."

I smirked. Perfect.

I helped her load the bags into the cab of her truck, desperately trying to think of something we could do together so I didn't have to leave her. I could have asked her out to lunch, but she had all that food she had to get home and put away. Stupid refrigerated items. I wanted to spend the day with her, and by the way she slowed her actions, taking forever to settle the bags just exactly so and sneaking glances at me, I thought maybe she felt the same way. If she didn't have to take the groceries home… But wait. Cullen had an idea.

"You gonna be able to get all this stuff in the house?" So yes, I was inviting myself over, just like I'd invited myself to go along with her to the grocery store. She hadn't seemed to mind that, so maybe she wouldn't mind me coming to her house with her. If I was being a freaky stalker, surely she'd say something or at least appear hesitant, but I wasn't getting that vibe from her at all. Quite the opposite, in fact.

She rolled her eyes at me – it was cute – and told me she thought she could manage, like I doubted she could handle putting groceries away. The misting drizzle was catching in the strands of her hair again, making it all silvery brown and kind of shiny, and I couldn't resist reaching out and brushing a wet strand where it fell over her shoulder.

"That's not what I meant," I told her. I didn't doubt she could handle the groceries, I just doubted my ability to stay away from her. "I happen to have some time on my hands this afternoon and wondered if you needed help."

She gave me a questioning look, and then realization dawned on her face. I was glad to see she didn't look put off or weirded out, she looked pleased. "Well, now that you mention it, I certainly could use some help. If you've got time on your hands. I mean, my dad isn't home, so…"

"No?" Her dad wasn't home. That meant alone time in the house with Bella. We could talk, hang out, and not worry about where we were or other people around us. I liked the idea better and better.

"Nope. No one home but me this afternoon. I could use all the help I can get." Her grin was definitely pleased. Even in the gloomy rain, it lit her face.

My breath caught again. This time when my finger reached out it was to brush the tempting curve of her cheek. I liked her. I liked her a lot.

"As you wish," I murmured, staring into her dark eyes.

She smiled at me and walked around to the driver's side of her truck. I stared after her, feeling deflated. She'd said _The Princess Bride_ was her favorite movie, hadn't she? Didn't she know that when the farm guy said "as you wish" he was really saying "I love you?" I shook my head at my oddness, laughing at myself, and got in my car to follow her back to her house.

I carried the groceries inside for her so she wouldn't get wet – well, any more wet than she already was – while she put them away in the kitchen.

"So, you want the five-cent tour?" she asked me when she had finished.

"Sure."

I was curious to see the rest of the house. She walked me through the main level, pointing out rooms with growing hesitance. I wasn't sure why – everything was neat and really comfortable looking, inviting and well cared for – until she paused at the bottom of the stairs. I realized she was a little nervous to take me up to the more intimate rooms, like the bedrooms and her bathroom. I didn't want her to feel anxious, but I was also kind of glad she did. It meant she was aware of me, thinking about the intimate things that could take place up there and was thinking about doing them with me. Not that I had any intentions of trying anything, not at that point, but it was nice to know I wasn't the only one thinking about it. I gave her some space as she led me up the stairs, hoping it would relax her even as the awareness made my tension increase.

"Bathroom," she said when we got to the top, indicating the partially closed door. She turned to walk down the hall and paused again. "My room." She looked at me and gestured behind her. "Charlie's room is at the end of the hall."

I stopped next to her in the doorway, both of us strangely hesitant to go into her bedroom. My eyes went unerringly to the bed despite my earlier conviction we weren't ready for anything that intimate. I put my hands in my pockets just to be safe and glanced down at her. She was biting her lip, which didn't help my resolve. I wanted it to be my teeth sinking into and playing with her full lower lip.

"It smells like you," I told her, keeping my hands firmly in my pockets and nudging her with my arm so she'd stop worrying about whatever was obviously bothering her. And it did – her bedroom smelled flowery and sweet and girly. I really wanted to throw myself on her bed and just lay there, inhaling her scent and relishing in the knowledge that I was allowed – even welcomed – into her intimate space. I didn't let myself, because not only would that really be creepy, but also I didn't want to risk getting near her bed with her dad not at home. My resolve was shaky at best.

"It does?" she asked, looking uncertain. I nodded, smiling at her, and she finally stepped into the room.

I followed as she went to sit at the desk, both of us studiously avoiding looking at the bed. It was really kind of funny how that one piece of furniture seemed to dominate the entire room in both of our minds. I walked over to the window, which was a safe distance away from her – out of grabbing reach, anyway – and looked out over her front yard.

There was a big tree right outside the window. Some of the branches almost touched the glass. I glanced down, noting it was a big, solid tree, and of course my mind wandered to images of me climbing it in the dark and sneaking in her window while she was sleeping, or waiting for me in bed, wearing… I wondered what she wore to bed? I gave my head a shake, not wanting to go there when I was still struggling with my resolve. So my mind switched to imagining her climbing out – fully clothed – with me waiting under the tree for her.

"Tree," I said with a grin, nodding at the window.

"Uh, yeah?" She looked at me like I was crazy for stating the obvious, and my smile grew.

"Have you ever snuck out?" I asked, curious.

"Me?" Her eyes flew wide in shock at the idea. "Are you serious? Climbing out a window and down a tree? I don't have a death wish."

I had to laugh. She was right – she wasn't the steadiest thing on two feet, not that I minded one bit. It gave me a chance to play white knight, and I wasn't opposed to that at all.

"That's right. I wasn't thinking. Hm." I leaned against the sill, glancing over my shoulder out the window. "I climbed trees all the time when I was little."

"Really?" She looked at the window and then me, her eyes narrowing thoughtfully. I knew she was imagining me climbing that tree some night, too. "You would have to be a superhero." Her gaze swept me from head to foot, and I forced myself to stay where I was and not grab her. "Or have superpowers."

For some reason both of our eyes went to her bed, and I had to clear my throat. She jumped up out of the chair, startling me a little with the sudden movement, and shifted nervously from foot to foot. "Do you, uh, want a Coke or something?"

She was nervous and just as on edge as I was. I wanted to say something to soothe her, but I figured talking about it would only make it worse. I nodded, accepting her excuse for getting out of the bedroom, and followed her back down the stairs. She headed for the kitchen, gesturing for me to sit on the sofa and telling me the TV remote was on the coffee table. I sat, but instead of seeing the controller, I saw some books scattered over the surface along with pages from that day's newspaper. I glanced quickly up at the kitchen door, but she was nowhere to been seen. I picked up each book, curious to know what she was reading. There were a couple of textbooks from school and a couple of classic novels – Shakespeare and a worn copy of _Dracula_. I saw another paperback half hidden under a page of the newspaper and poked at it with my finger. Feeling like I was doing something wrong, I craned my neck, trying to see the title. My eyes flew wide and my breath caught when I saw it was about hockey. Well, kind of about hockey, although it wasn't a title I was familiar with, that was for sure. It had a hockey stick entwined with a woman's leg – a sexy leg, bare except for the bright red high heeled shoe on the arched foot.

She was reading a romance novel about a hockey player. My heart leapt in reaction, and so did another organ lower down. Before I could process what I had seen, she came back into the room carrying two Cokes and two glasses. She saw where my gaze was focused and turned bright red.

"Sorry. Just let me clean up a little." She slammed the drinks down on the table and snatched the newspaper and book up in one sweeping motion, practically running out of the room with them clutched to her chest.

I collapsed back into the sofa cushions with a grin on my face. She was reading a romance book about a hockey player. I was pretty sure those books had sex in them – at least kissing. Lots of kissing. My mom and Rosalie both read them, and I'd leafed through one out of curiosity once and – whoa. Bella was embarrassed I'd seen it. I didn't want her to feel that way or make her uncomfortable, not the first time I was in her house. It was the first time we were spending real time together, not with friends, not at school, not even on a formal date. We were just hanging out because we wanted to spend time together, and I didn't want to ruin it. I wanted not only to be welcomed back, I wanted the expectation that I'd be back, and not even have to think about if I was welcome or not.

Basically, I didn't want to fuck it up.

She came back into the room, color still rising over her cheeks, and she wouldn't meet my eyes. I was making her uncomfortable. I'd pretty much forced myself into her day, inviting myself along to the store and then over to her house. I'd only been thinking about how much I wanted to be with her. I was disappointed – really disappointed – but that was okay. I could be patient. I'd force myself to be patient. I knew she liked me, and I would wait until she was ready for me to invade her life. I stood up, my hands going to my pocket for my keys.

"Am I making you nervous, Bella? Shit, I'm sorry, I can go – " I started, but she interrupted me.

"No!" she shouted, and I froze in surprise. She visibly calmed herself. I recognized the action because I'd had to do it so many times myself. "No," she repeated, and this time her voice was more normal. She smiled and that time it reached her eyes. "Don't go. I just forgot it was kind of messy in here."

I lowered myself back down onto the sofa, searching her face, but she seemed sincere in wanting me to stay. I realized she was just as confused about the strength of the attraction between us as I was, and she had a lot less experience. Not that I had a lot, but it was still more than she had. I'd have to be careful. I had to keep reminding myself to be responsible. I wanted to be the one who was responsible for her experience. I was good at being responsible – for all kinds of things.

She handed me a Coke, and I continued to watch her as I took a small sip. She was staring at my mouth, and damn if I didn't know exactly what she was thinking for once. I set the can down on a piece of the paper that had escaped her clutches and settled back, telling myself to go slow, to be certain of what she wanted. I didn't think she was aware she was staring at me, watching my every movement with rapt attention. I waited for her to look me in the face, but her eyes were glued to my arm, my chest, and my hand as I set it along the back of the sofa. Her eye traveled from my shoulder to my fingers, and when it lingered there, I lifted my hand and gestured for her to come closer with my finger.

Her eyes shot to mine at the movement. I watched her struggle not to let a blush fill her face, but she was only partially successful. She focused on the can of Coke in her hands, refusing to look back up at me.

"Bella," I finally said, keeping my voice low and even. "Come here."

"Huh?" She glanced up quickly and then away when she saw I was looking directly at her.

"Come here," I murmured. I didn't want to push her if it wasn't what she wanted. It had to be her choice. She was nervous, and I was getting worked up, both to kiss her and worrying about her. I figured I should just do it and put us both out of our misery. Plus, I really did want to kiss her. The kiss at the grocery store had only brought back memories of the night before, and it made me want more. Lots more.

She was startled at first, fumbling her drink but catching it just in time. She looked a little wary, and then a small smile curled her mouth. She slid across the cushions, closing the distance between us, and my heart thrummed in my chest. I reached out slowly to give her a chance to say no, to tell me it was too much, too soon, but she kept coming toward me, even when I put my hand on her back. She felt so small, almost frail under my hand, and I swallowed against the lump in my throat. Exerting gentle pressure, I let her know I wanted her closer but that she still had a choice. Her breathing increased as the space closed between us. I searched her face for any sign she wasn't sure. Her eyes had gone big and a little hazy, and she was staring at my mouth again.

"Don't be nervous," I said softly, my eyes going to her mouth in turn. "Unless you don't want me to kiss you."

She made a sharp noise, and I couldn't interpret it – protest, fear, eagerness, surprise, I had no idea. I went still, forcing my hands to stop and holding my breath, but she shook her head frantically.

"No," she said in a shaky voice, and my entire body froze.

"No!" she repeated, louder and more certain. "I mean yes!" She licked her lips and forced her eyes up to look directly at me. "I want you to…uh, kiss me." And then she killed me. "Please."

I gasped softly at that word – at that particular word in relation to me kissing her. I pulled her closer, more roughly than I intended, but I had to put my mouth on her as quickly as possible. A calm settled over me as soon as our lips touched. The urgency was still there, but knowing she wanted me to kiss her enough to ask, enough to say please, gave me the patience to make it good for both of us. She had said please, but I was the one ready to beg.

I settled into the kiss. At the first searching nudge of my lips, she parted hers, accepting me, pulling me in, meeting me for every sinuous slide of tongue and lip. Her arms wrapped around my neck as she settled against my chest, and it felt so good. I increased the pressure of our bodies, the fit of our mouths, until I was braced over her as she lay back on the seat cushions of the sofa. I lowered myself slowly so that I was almost lying on top of her, conscious of my much greater bulk and weight, and the pleasure increased exponentially.

She felt better than I had imagined under my hands, and I'd imagined quite a bit. There hadn't been a lot of space cramped in the front seat of my car the night before, and I still didn't have a whole lot on the narrow sofa, but that was probably for the best. I was close to losing myself in her, and I didn't want to take it too far. We weren't ready. Well, _she_ wasn't ready, and I was still rational enough to realize we were in her living room, where her dad could walk in on us at any moment. I had to stop. I couldn't let this go too far, not there, not at that moment, but I just wanted…more.

I realized my hands were running up and down her sides from hip to rib, and I was slowly inching over her, bumping her legs, instinctively trying to fit between them. I groaned, fighting back the desire I felt for her and tried to pull myself back from the edge before I fell over it. It didn't help that she was wiggling underneath me – _wiggling, Bella, underneath me_ – and trying to urge my hands higher, lower. I had to stop. _Had to stop, had to stop…_

I broke our mouths apart with a gasp, panting for air. She was lying against the cushion with her hair spread around her pretty face. Her lips were swollen from mine, her cheeks pink, eyes heavy and half-shut as she looked up at me, and I felt… I felt like I never had before. She clung, trying to pull me back to the sofa, back to her, back to her mouth, and it was the hardest thing I'd ever done to resist.

"God, Bella," I panted, reaching for her arms that were wrapped around my neck. I couldn't quite bring myself to remove them. "You taste so good."

My finger tested the softness of her mouth, stroking the curve of her bottom lip. I pulled back when I realized I was almost lying on her again, wanting to taste more of her. Somehow I managed to sit up, and she came with me as she had a death grip on my arms. She was breathing just as heavily as I was, and my eyes dropped involuntarily, first to her sexy, plump mouth before being drawn lower to her heaving chest. I jerked them back up when I realized what I was doing, embarrassed and determinedly meeting her eyes.

"Bella." My voice was surprisingly breathless. "I think we should take it easy. God knows I don't want to, but if we don't stop…"

I scrubbed my hands through my hair, mostly to keep them off her. This had gotten a lot more involved, a lot more intense, than I had planned. I was finding my self-control, which I'd never found lacking before, was sorely tested when I was around her.

"Yeah." She gave a huffing half-laugh and mimicked my gesture, running her hands through her own hair. I wanted it to be mine that lifted and sifted through that heavy, shining mass. Before I realized it, I'd grabbed her hand to stop her before I gave in to temptation and lost what headway I'd achieved in regaining my control.

My hand engulfed hers, and I forced my attention to it, away from thoughts of her hair. Or her mouth. "You're so small."

I hadn't realized I'd said it out loud until she responded with a smile. "And you're just right."

She folded her fingers over my larger, longer ones, bringing them to her mouth and pressing a soft kiss to my knuckles. I felt the contact all the way down my arms, through my chest and to my knees, which threatened to give way. It was a good thing I was sitting down. My hopes and heart swelled with the enormity and implication of the small gesture. She sighed, staring at our hands, and I couldn't decipher the look on her face as usual. So, as usual, I just asked.

"What?"

"I just still can't believe…" She frowned, obviously struggling with what she wanted to say. She looked up at me, shy, uncertain, and definitely embarrassed. "…you're here with me," she finished quietly.

I sighed. I'd thought we'd already dealt with that. I had no idea why she would think I didn't want to be with her. Hell, hadn't I just acted like the super-stalker of the century, inviting myself along to buy groceries – _groceries_, for fuck's sake – and then back to her house where I'd practically molested her on the sofa? I had no idea why she thought I didn't want her, but I'd make sure we'd both have one hell of a good time convincing her I did.

"Bella, there's nowhere else I'd rather be. Right here, with you. Now cut it out, okay?" I met her gaze, refusing to let her drop her eyes, willing her to see my sincerity.

"Okay," she breathed, and I felt relief sweep through me. I didn't want her to feel unworthy of anything, not ever.

She snuggled against me, putting her hands on my chest and her cheek on top of them. I'd never felt more content in my entire life. I couldn't stop touching her, resting my chin on top of her head and running my hand over the smooth skin of her arm.

"You do know I've wanted to kiss on you for a while, don't you?" Her voice was low and quiet, and I felt the words more than heard them.

"Really." I forced my tone to match hers as my heart leapt in my chest at her words. "Me, too. Aren't we lucky?" I was the luckiest bastard on the planet.

She sighed in agreement. "And I can kiss on you any time I want?"

"Anytime," I vowed, turning my head slightly to brush my mouth over her silky hair.

"Anywhere I want?"

It took everything in me not to jump her when I heard her question. I had to clear my throat before I could answer. "Anywhere, mia Bella."

She sighed happily, squeezing my hand before once again bringing it to her mouth, this time kissing my palm. I couldn't stop the jolt that shot through my body at the hot, stinging, purely pleasurable sensation on the surprisingly sensitive skin. She settled the side of her face securely against my chest, lacing her fingers with mine and placing my hand just over her heart. I felt the quickened beat of mine in my chest and all throughout my body before it finally steadied.

We stayed like that for quite some time, until she sighed and stirred, reluctantly pushing herself upright. I didn't want to move. I didn't want her to move, but she said the only words that could change my mind.

"My dad's going to be home pretty soon," she sighed, pushing her hair back and giving me a glum look.

"And I'd better be going." I was sure he didn't know I was there, and wasn't sure how he'd feel if he did. I figured it would be easiest if I was gone before he got there. "I'll see you tomorrow at school." I wanted to ask if I could give her a ride, but I'd pushed my luck far enough.

"Okay." She got up with me, not letting go of my hand and dragging her feet all the way down the hall to the front door. I leaned in to give her a quick kiss good-bye, but it turned into another, and another, and another. I'd pull away and she'd pull me back, and then she'd ease away and I'd ease her back.

"Dad coming home any minute," she finally managed to get out, laughing against my lips. "Go."

I groaned, smiling at her, and she held on to me. Our hands hung between us until she had to let go or get pulled down the front stairs as I reluctantly headed for my car.


	16. Chapter 16: Man Advantage

**Still SM, still not me.**

**SunKing and Sarahsumbrella put up with me and beta this mess. I don't take that for granted - Love and appreciate you ladies.**

**Thanks to you all for continuing to read and follow Iceward's adventures.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 16: Man Advantage**

I got to school on Monday morning before Bella did. I sat in my car, pretending not to watch in the rearview mirror for her truck to pull into the lot. I saw Alice's Porsche careen around the corner and come to a screeching halt in a spot across from mine. I wasn't surprised to see Jasper behind the wheel. I got out of my car and met them at the bright yellow hood, but still kept an eye – and an ear – out for Bella's vintage vehicle.

Alice obviously hadn't heard about Bella and me seeing each other on Sunday. It was a good thing, because otherwise I was sure that she'd pester me about that just like she was pestering me about going to Crowley's after the hockey game. She was chattering on and on about the party, how Bella and I disappeared, what did we do, what did we talk about, hadn't I thought she'd looked nice, did I have a good time, did I want to do it again, on and on and on. When I finally heard Bella's truck rumbling through the entrance and saw it pull into her usual parking spot, I was ready to kiss her with relief in addition to just wanting to kiss her, period.

Alice kept talking while I watched Bella's truck out of the corner of my eye, trying not to be obvious. I grew increasingly concerned when she just sat there for a few minutes after the engine was turned off. What was she waiting for? Did she want to avoid me? Was she embarrassed about what had happened between us over the weekend – going out with me, kissing me? Kissing, hell. We'd made out in my car Saturday night and on her sofa Sunday afternoon. I had been sure she was okay with it and had even enjoyed it. She'd asked if she could kiss me whenever – and wherever – she wanted, and that had to mean she wanted to keep seeing me. So why was she just sitting in her truck? The whole situation was so frustrating. I just wanted to ask her like I usually did when she confused me, but I didn't want to march over to her car and knock on the window like some stalker freak.

I gave up any pretense of listening to Alice when I saw the truck door open and Bella emerge. Her face was a pretty, pale oval surrounded by her dark hair, and I saw her glance over at my car before she began walking toward us. Was she happy to see it? Was she hoping to see me, or did she want to avoid me?

Was I being a fucking pussy or what? She was as glad to see me as I was to see her – the expression on her face when she saw me standing next to Alice's car confirmed it. I'd given her a hard time about how she was unsure of my feelings for her, and there I was doing the same thing. I needed to kick my own ass and just be happy I was finally with the girl I wanted.

"Hey," she said as she approached, staring at me with a happy smile on her face.

I held my hand out to her automatically, just wanting to touch her and feel the connection that we had started to establish. She fitted her palm against mine, and I pulled her toward me until I could feel more than that connection. I could feel her small, warm, soft body bumping into mine. It felt amazing.

"Good morning," I murmured, wanting to lean down and kiss her.

Alice was staring at us, about to come out of her skin with comments and questions. Jasper dragged her away, and I sent him a look of gratitude. I just wanted to see Bella and not have to deal with an inquisition. I'd share her later. Maybe. I eased my arms around her waist, thrilled when she leaned into me.

"So, how was the rest of your Sunday evening?" I murmured, wanting to remind her of how we'd spent the previous day. The memories were vivid in my mind.

"Hmm." She cocked a brow at me, but bit her lip. She was such a wonderful mix of bold and uncertain, just like I was. It reassured me so much to see it. "Boring. Lonely."

"Funny. Me, too." I pulled her closer, unable to resist the urge to kiss her even if it was only a brief touch. She not only allowed it, but her lips parted on a huff of disappointment when I pulled away.

I reluctantly let her go, knowing it was getting close to first bell. I debated about taking her hand when she kept it casually swinging at her side and very near mine. I wanted people to see us together, kissing and holding hands. We turned toward the building, and as we stepped onto the sidewalk, she stumbled over the curb. She would have fallen on her face if I hadn't instinctively reached out and grabbed her.

"Jeez, Bella, can't you watch where you're going?" I grinned to let her know I was teasing. She blushed – _yes_ – and pretended to punch me.

God, I loved it when she got feisty. She swung with her other fist when I laughed. I dodged out of her way with an exaggerated twist, ducking and wrapping an arm around her waist. I felt happy and lighthearted, and with a slight bend of my knees and tug of my arm, I had her in the air and over my shoulder. She squirmed and twisted, trying to escape my firm hold, but there was no way she getting away from me. She shrieked with surprise and, if I wasn't mistaken, delight. Every head in the quad turned toward us. It was perfect.

"This is much safer and much more fun." I fixed my hold on her, one hand reaching across my chest to secure her legs, my other – the one she was draped over – landing firmly on the curve of her ass. I swallowed and fought back a surge of lust.

Everyone was staring, and that was just fine with me. I nodded and smiled as I made my way with my wriggling, struggling burden through the front doors and the crowds that were gathered in the halls before first period. Plus, I had my hand on her ass. I resisted the urge to grip, pinch, and stroke, fighting it all the way to her locker. I eased her off my shoulder, holding her waist to steady her until she could stand on her own. She pushed the hair out of her face, blowing at it and gasping, but her eyes were bright with humor as she tried to glare at me. I couldn't quite hide the smile that lifted my lips. She could pretend all she wanted, but I knew she was just a little bit thrilled. I was glad she wasn't pissed at me, because it seemed I just couldn't control my caveman tendencies around her.

"What the hell was that?" she demanded.

"Got you here safely, didn't I?" I countered. She couldn't trip over curbs or anything else if I was carrying her.

"Stupid, macho idiot," she muttered, but I saw the smile twitch at the corners of her mouth as she turned to open her locker. I couldn't help a delighted laugh as I saw her fingers fumble on the combination lock.

I reached out and pushed a long strand of hair off her cheek, letting my fingertips linger on her jaw and slide gently along the smooth, exposed skin of her neck. She shivered so slightly that I probably wouldn't have noticed if I hadn't been touching her. It made me shiver in reaction. I wished we were someplace where I could touch more than her neck.

"See you at lunch, Bella. Be safe." I didn't want her to trip when I wasn't around to catch her, and no one else better catch her, either. With this thought and the echo of her shiver still resonating in my fingertips, I bent down and kissed her.

It wasn't a brief touch like out in the parking lot. Lips nudged and opened, tongues met, pushed, retreated, and then pushed again. I felt her sigh, relaxing into me, and I reluctantly pulled away. I rested my cheek against hers, my lips in her hair. I shut my eyes and felt the happy – hell, _elated_ – grin spread across my face. I'd just indulged in one of my favorite fantasies. I'd kissed Bella in school, right in front of everyone. And she'd let me.

"Mine," I said with soul-deep satisfaction, going with my caveman tendencies of the morning. "Finally," I added on a breath.

I gave her one last squeeze and forced myself to walk away. I caught sight of Newton staring at me, open-mouthed, and another surge of satisfaction went through me. I smirked at him. Take that, football-boy. Bella and I were together, finally, really, honestly _together_, and I wanted everyone to know it.

And by lunch, everyone did know. Lauren must not have blown anybody in the boy's locker room that day, because it seemed Bella and I were the big news. I would have thought that the school had never seen a guy carry a girl across the quad and to her locker before. I'm sure they had; I knew for a fact Emmett used to haul Rosalie all over the place to piss her off. Between his hauling and my hauling, I was pretty sure that someone else had, too. Probably.

We sat at what had become our usual table, and Alice and Angela filled us in on the gossip that was spreading about us. Bella gave me a secret smile as our friends regaled us with stories, each more ridiculous than the last, and my heart swelled. That secret smile was another fantasy of mine, although a lot less sexual than most. The intimacy, the shared smile, the looking at each other and knowing what we were thinking, things that only the two of us shared…Yeah. It was exactly what I wanted, and I couldn't have been more thrilled that she wanted it, too. My usual planning skills may have been a little lacking when it came to asking her out, but it had all worked in the end.

We shared entertained smirks as our friends discussed the various places we were rumored to have "done it" Saturday night. I watched Bella's reaction carefully. If she was upset, I would put a stop to it. I hadn't been thinking about how she'd feel to have everyone at school talking about her and her relationship with me. I felt like an ass. I'd only been thinking about how I felt – how I wanted everyone to know that we were officially seeing each other. I was glad to see she was amused rather than pissed or upset. I'd found it was best just to let the rumors run their course. Something juicier was bound to come up, and I'd learned not to address any of the bullshit unless someone was brave enough to ask me directly. I'd try to quash the talk if Bella was really worked up over it, but she seemed to be handling it well. So well, in fact, that she slid her chair closer to me as we ate and laughed with our friends, leaning over to kiss me quickly and firmly. On the mouth. In the middle of the lunchroom.

My girlfriend kissed me in the lunchroom at school. I wanted her in my lap, but managed to restrain myself to just pulling her as close as I could against my side as we finished eating lunch.

In Biology, Mr. Banner assigned us our term project. It was the one we were to work on with our lab partner, and my lab partner just happened to be my girlfriend. I knew I'd never get tired of thinking of her like that – my girlfriend. Bella.

"Do you want to come over after school and work on it?" she asked, and I really wanted to tell her yes. I wanted to spend as much time with her as I could. I was completely addicted to everything about her.

"I've got late practices tonight and tomorrow." Hockey had been my life for…well, my whole life. I didn't want to skip practice, exactly, but I wished I could be in two places at once. "But how about Wednesday after school? Why don't you come over to my house? You can have the tour and meet my mom and dad."

"Okay." She bit her lip and stared at mine. I licked my lower one deliberately, hoping to distract her from the nervousness I could tell she was feeling at the thought of meeting my parents. It worked; her voice was distracted as she continued to stare. "I'm pretty sure Charlie's working the swing-shift this week, so I don't have to worry about being around for dinner or anything."

"Then plan on staying for dinner at my house." She was nervous, but she said yes readily enough. We'd gotten DNA as our subject, and I knew my dad had a bunch of reference books in his study at home we could use.

The bell rang, and I waited for her to gather her books before following her from the room. She glanced at me, remembering her concern once she wasn't staring at my mouth and thinking about kissing. But dammit, it had made me think of kissing. "Don't worry. I'll clear it with Mom first. She won't mind. She's dying to meet you."

"She is?" Bella looked startled at that.

"Yeah. I might have mentioned you a couple of times." I realized I'd walked her to her gym class. I'd have to hurry my ass if I didn't want to be late to my next one, but damn if I could make myself leave her.

"You might have, huh?" She gave me a curious look as she slowed her steps in front of the girl's locker room.

"Yeah." I couldn't resist teasing her a little. "I didn't mention anything about what a great ass you have, or how I really have a thing for biting your lower lip."

She had been backing up slowly as I advanced, doing a little teasing of her own. She came up against the rough brick wall, and I hoped she didn't scratch herself. I didn't let it stop me from placing my hands just over her shoulders, leaning in, keeping only a millimeter of space between us. I took her full, plump lower lip, gently rolling it between my teeth and then soothing it with my tongue. I wanted to moan, but pulled away instead. She fell against me when I took a step back, and I was undeniably pleased to see her unsteady on her feet from my touch. I couldn't make myself leave her until I had no choice but to make a run for my next class.

Practice went well that night. Mom waited to have dinner even though I was later than usual. Dad got home from the hospital at the same time, so it worked out well. We sat down at the table to eat, and I made it through my first plate before casually swallowing and clearing my throat.

"So, ah, I was thinking of having Bella come over after school on Wednesday."

Mom and Dad exchanged a quick look before Dad ducked his head and kept eating.

"That's fine, Edward." Mom gave me a bland smile.

"Yeah." I could feel the nervousness and excitement building pressure in my chest, and I did the unforgivable. I started babbling. "We have this, you know, Biology project, the two of us, because we're lab partners. So I was thinking that we could use Dad's books in the study, if that's okay. I mean, it's better than going to the library, you know? More comfortable. So yeah. I asked her to come over on Wednesday. And her dad works this week and won't be home, so I said I'd ask if she could stay for dinner. Have dinner here, I mean. If it's okay."

This time the look they exchanged was longer, and Mom bit her lip to hide a smile. Dad wasn't quite as successful, and I narrowed my eyes at him suspiciously. I took after Mom – we were a little more controlled. Emmett took after Dad, and you just never knew what they would say next.

"What?" I asked defensively.

"That's fine, Edward. Your friend is more than welcome to come for dinner."

I swung my narrowed eyes to her but she just gave me a smooth, innocent smile and continued eating. Dad couldn't quite pull it off and choked out a laugh. He waved a hand at me and held his napkin over his mouth, coughing when I glared at him. What was so fucking funny?

"Sorry," he wheezed before bringing himself under control. I darted another quick look at Mom, but she was no help. "It's just that I don't think I've ever heard my youngest son ramble or get rattled. We were cheated of all this with Emmett, you see. You've got to allow us a little room to enjoy it."

"Enjoy what?" I had no idea what he was talking about.

"The whole dating thing. We never got to do this with Emmett. Rosalie showed up at our table one day – she could barely see over the top, all we saw was a little blond head next to Emmett's dark one – and she just never left. You've never asked to have a girl over to dinner before. We're looking forward to meeting her, that's all."

"Please don't embarrass me," I groaned, slumping down in my chair. Screwed by Emmett again. Why couldn't he have had a normal relationship and have gotten this out of their systems for me? Wasn't that what an older brother was supposed to do?

"Sit up, Edward," Mom admonished. "It will be fine. Your dad's right. We're just looking forward to meeting Bella."

"Great." I'd kind of lost my appetite, so I only had two more plates before I helped Mom clear the table.

I went upstairs and messed around with my acoustic guitar for a while, but I couldn't settle. I felt restless, jumpy, and eventually put the instrument away so I wouldn't screw it up. Playing it didn't settle me like it usually did. I flipped through channels on the television before finally turning it off with a huff of frustration. I thought about working out, but it was too late to get those endorphins rushing, and I was still pleasantly fatigued from practice. I put on some music and wandered around my room before finally giving in and calling Bella.

As soon as I hit send, I felt myself calm. We talked about inconsequential things, and then Bella asked me something I never expected. That was beginning to be par for the course where she was concerned.

"Is it always like this?" she questioned softly during a comfortable lull in the conversation. "I know, that's a dumb, clichéd question, but… I've got no experience with this. I don't think we're normal."

I didn't know how normal it was, but I did know I'd never felt anything like it before. "No… I don't know. I don't have that much experience with this, either." She made a disbelieving noise, and I frowned. "What? It's not like I've been a serial dater or a man-whore or anything, Bella."

I hoped she knew me better than that.

"Compared to my dating life, you have been. So, is this normal?"

"I don't know." I paused thoughtfully and then admitted out loud, "I've never felt this way about anybody before."

"But you've dated," she said, sounding hesitant. "You went out with someone for a while, right?"

"I guess." Of course she'd want to know about my romantic past. I knew she didn't have much of one, and that was just fine with me, but obviously she wasn't as sure about mine.

I didn't want to talk about other girls, girls that were nowhere near as important as Bella. How could I explain and make her see how I felt without sounding like a total ass? I told her how I'd gone out with Tanya a couple of times, but that we had never clicked. And then, she surprised me yet again.

"And making out?"

What? She was honestly asking me about making out with another girl? _Treacherous waters, Cullen_, I told myself. I really didn't want to fuck this up. "Um…yeah?"

"So, what happened?"

"You want to hear the details of our make-out sessions?" _What_? I was so fucked. My voice was a little high and squeaky with shock, and I cleared my throat, my heart pounding with dread in my chest. Tanya and I hadn't made out, not really. Not like I'd made out with Bella the past weekend. Being near Tanya left me completely unmoved, but being near Bella lit me up like a firecracker.

"God no!" She said with a laugh, and I almost gasped in relief. "I mean, why did you break up?"

I didn't want to talk about breaking up with Bella in any regard. I didn't want those words to come up, be thought about or spoken between us, even if it referred to a past relationship.

"I don't know," I said slowly, cautiously. "We were more friends than anything else, and then that just started to fall apart. We just weren't really into being together. It got to the point where we were mean and snipey to each other all the time. Kissing her was like kissing my sister, anyway. If I had one."

Did I really just admit that to her? Really?

There was silence, and I flopped down on my bed, covering my eyes. What the hell was wrong with me? I wanted to go back and erase this entire conversation. Or just move on, but I was afraid I'd start the babbling thing if I did, so I kept my mouth shut for once and just waited for her to speak. It was amazingly difficult. I knew I'd fuck this up somehow.

"It was like kissing your sister? Right from the beginning?" she asked after a long, excruciating moment.

"Um, yeah. Yeah, I guess it was like that from the beginning." I wanted to punch myself in frustration.

"You don't feel like that when you kiss me, do you?"

"God no!" My eyes shot open in shock. There was no comparison. Kissing her was like nothing else I'd ever felt. I was completely addicted. I couldn't even begin to explain it, the difference between her and anyone else I'd ever known. Kissing any other girl was exactly like kissing a sister – no big deal and very unsatisfying. Kissing Bella was like kissing someone you loved, lusted for, wanted more than anything else in the world. I just didn't know how to tell her. "I wish I was kissing you right now."

My eyes widened even further at that admission. I hadn't planned on saying it out loud, even though I was consumed with the thought. I barely suppressed a moan.

"Me, too." She said it so softly I thought I might have misheard her, except for the fact that my body reacted automatically by jerking upright. In my head, I was already in the car, speeding to her house and climbing that damn tree outside her window.

"Hey, can I ask you a question?"

That brought me back to reality. Her questions were kind of dangerous.

"Sure," I said cautiously.

"Alice told me that Jasper told her that you told him you were off girls. What did you mean by that?"

"Um, what?" I hadn't followed that at all.

"Jasper told Alice you were 'off girls.' I just wondered what that meant?"

Great. Jasper had told Alice that I was off girls – whatever that meant – and Alice had, of course, told Bella. I grimaced and made a note to punch Jasper as soon as I saw him the next day. There were a couple of reasons I was "off girls" as he had so eloquently put it. My disastrous experiences with Bree and Tanya were chief among them, but the biggest reason was because I had decided to wait for Bella.

"There are a couple of reasons, I guess. The whole Tanya thing…it kind of turned into a mess. She just wouldn't let it go, but it was more about her pride than any actual feelings she had for me. She followed me around and kept calling me for weeks. It made me nuts, especially since I knew it wasn't because she was devastated by our breaking up, but more how it looked to her so-called friends. She kind of turned into my own clinging version of hell."

"Oh." She sounded thoughtful and not pissed, which I figured was a good thing. I took a deep breath and decided it was past time to start admitting how I felt about her. I wanted her to know she was the reason I hadn't felt like dating anyone.

"Yeah. After that, I decided I wasn't going to date anyone unless it was someone I really felt a connection with – and there was this girl I had my eye on, but she wouldn't give me the time of day…" I let the thought trail off, hoping she'd get the hint. She was a quick one, my Bella.

"Me?" she asked breathlessly, and my heart leapt at the surprised delight in her voice.

"Yes," I admitted. "I told you I've never felt this way about anyone before, Bella."

"Oh. That's good." There was a slight pause, and I heard her quick, determined breath. "I've never felt this way before, either."

My heart jumped again, and it was my turn to feel delighted. "That's good."

It was really good. Better than good. In fact, it was the best thing I'd ever heard. I wanted more, but a glance at the clock and a stifled yawn told me that it was getting late. We joked with each other for a little longer, neither one of us wanting to hang up first. It was silly and childish, but fun at the same time. I finally wished her pleasant dreams and forced myself to hit the end button.

Tuesday went by excruciatingly slowly, since I was looking forward to Wednesday and having Bella come over. It wasn't so much that she'd meet my parents, although that was a pretty big deal and one more step in cementing our relationship. For some reason, the thought of her seeing my house, my things, my bedroom, meeting my parents…it was something I was looking forward to very much.

She called me on Tuesday morning as I was getting into my car to head to school, telling me her truck had broken down and she needed a ride. I was really glad she'd thought of me first instead of calling Alice or even getting a ride from her dad. I'd been thinking about asking her if she wanted to ride into school with me, but wasn't sure how to broach the subject. It was even worth one of Chief Swan's enigmatic and amusing pointed comments when I got to her house about me bringing her home after school and behaving ourselves without parental supervision. He was particularly effective with his subtle warnings, even in his bathrobe and without his gun.

I rushed home after practice on Wednesday, anxious, excited, and nervous to see Bella. I'd rinsed off in the locker room, but I decided to take another quick shower when I got home. I tried to tame my hair with my usual lack of success and then went downstairs to see if I could help Mom with dinner. She gave me some vegetables to cut, and I somehow managed not to lose any fingers as I kept one eye on the clock. I heard Bella's truck rumbling up our street and tossed the knife down, earning a startled glance from my mom as I dashed into the foyer. I skidded to a stop in front of the door, hovering indecisively, knowing I shouldn't be waiting in the open door for her as she came up the walk…why not? I really couldn't think of a reason, and my hand was on the knob when the doorbell rang. I yanked open the door, knowing I was grinning like an idiot.

Bella was there, standing on the front porch. She looked up at me, her mouth a pretty curve as she laughed. Laughed?

"What's so funny?" I pulled the door open, inviting her in and cocking my head curiously.

"Nothing," she told me, her eyes sweeping me quickly from head to foot and lingering for an instant on my head. "I'll tell you later."

"Okay." She turned away from me as I took her bag and set it on the bottom step. I took the opportunity to glance quickly in the mirror hanging on the wall and run my hands through my hair, wondering if that was what she'd been laughing at. Nothing I could do – it was its usual mess. "Come on, I'll introduce you to my mom. My dad's on his way home from work, but he'll be here in a bit and then we can eat. Are you hungry?"

"Yeah, a little."

I walked with her into the kitchen, where she stared and oohed and ahhed over the stove. Yeah, the stove. She never did what I expected.

My mom wiped her hands on a dishtowel and come over to us with a smile, her eyes excited and welcoming as she introduced herself to Bella. They talked about the stove – yeah, the stove – and I found out Bella liked to cook. I filed it away in my mental compilation of Bella-facts.

"It's so nice to meet you, Bella," Mom said, giving her a warm, enveloping hug. Bella shot a startled glance at me, but eventually relaxed into my mom's embrace, just like we all did. "You're welcome to come create anytime. It would be nice to have some company in the kitchen. I'm here in a houseful of men who have no interest in making food, only eating it."

I arched my eyebrow at her dramatics. Dad cooked quite often when he was home, and I always tried to help. Hadn't I just cut up all the vegetables for her? I reached for a carrot slice as my stomach rumbled. "Speaking of which…?"

Mom slapped my hand and then grabbed my ear, pulling me down to give me a quick kiss like I was six years old or something, but that was just Mom.

"Go on, give Bella the tour," she said. "Your dad should be home shortly and we'll eat."

I did, guiding her through the lower level as we reached the foyer and the stairs again. I took her hand and led her up to the second floor, which was Emmett's. She was quiet and wide-eyed as I showed her the well equipped workout room and Emmett's bedroom, before ending back at the stairs. We went up to the third level. My level.

I stopped at the top of the stairs, turning toward the open room that held all of my musical stuff. My heart was thumping heavily, and I held her hand, unaccountably anxious to show her my inner sanctum and personal space.

"My floor," I told her, watching as she entered slowly, moving to the piano and reaching out hesitantly toward the gleaming black surface. "Music room."

Her hand dropped without touching the instrument, and I felt an absurd pang at the perceived loss. I shook it off and took her through the door at the other end of the room, which led to the bathroom and into my bedroom.

She walked around the space, examining my things, running her hands over the black leather sofa off to one side like she hadn't done to the piano, her fingers stroking the soft material in an absent caress. My dick stirred. She turned away, her eyes running over my CD collection before turning to face the bed. A blush washed across her cheeks as she glanced quickly away, and the stirring in my jeans turned into a full-blown hard on. She wandered over to look out the double door that opened out onto the balcony, looking nervous and uncertain. Was it because of the bed, or was she uncomfortable around me in my bedroom? I didn't want her to be uncomfortable.

"This is…amazing," she said softly, and I relaxed. She watched me curiously as I crossed the room. "What?"

I put my arms around her from behind, tugging her to my chest. "I'm glad you came tonight."

"Me, too. This is all absolutely beautiful. I may never leave."

I never wanted her to leave. I was so glad she wanted to be there and that she liked my room – that she liked me. She made a sly comment about it being private, two stories above anyone else in the house, casting me an inviting glance as she turned in my arms and linked hers around my neck. So, of course I kissed her.

And kissed her. She tugged on my hair at the base of my neck, and sharp pleasure shot through me. It was such a turn-on when she pulled my hair like that, demanding, wanting more. It was what I wanted, as well, so I indulged us both. I pulled her up so I could angle my head and really kiss her, sinking my teeth into her lip, sucking and licking. It wasn't enough. It would never be enough, and I wanted more.

Hearing my mom's voice over the intercom was just like getting doused with cold water.

"Edward? Your dad's home. We'll be sitting down to eat in a few minutes."

My mom's voice coming out of nowhere scared the crap out of Bella. I manfully controlled my laugh and explained about the intercom system – how else were we supposed to hear each other in the house? We went back downstairs and I introduced her to my dad, whom she had met during her previous visits to the emergency room.

"So, this is what all the sappy smiling and mooning around like an actual teenager has been about, huh?" He grinned at me and tried to rub my head, like my hair wasn't already a hopeless mess. I just hoped they couldn't tell Bella just had her fingers buried in it. And besides, what was with them treating me like I was a toddler?

"Great, Dad, thanks." _Thanks for making me look like an idiot_.

We sat down to eat. My mom really seemed to like Bella. Not that I was surprised – who wouldn't like her – but I was glad to see them getting along so well. After we were done, I realized I'd left my books and stuff upstairs in my bedroom and ran up to get them. I'd been a little distracted by Bella and kissing when I'd been up there before dinner. Dad let us use his study, and kissing was still on my mind as I took a seat at his desk. Bella sank into the large chair on the other side, glancing around at the collection of medical texts and reference books.

I tried to keep in mind that my mom and dad were just down the hall when we started joking around about playing doctor. And oh, how I wanted to, but I couldn't. Not like I wanted, with them liable to pop into the room at any minute, but we could have some fun.

"So, want to help me practice? Play doctor?" I teased, cocking an eyebrow at her.

She blushed, her gaze moving toward the door before coming back to meet mine. She eyed me speculatively, staring at each individual feature of my face before focusing on my mouth. I realized we were both slowly leaning toward each other, and when we were only inches apart, she gave a shake of her head. I didn't know if it was in denial of the kiss we were about to share or the attraction we held for each other, but I was too far gone to let a little protest like that stop me. I reached out and wrapped a strand of her hair around my fingers, pulling gently until our lips met.

I kissed her, and kissed her, and kissed her. I leaned over the desk, pulling her halfway on top of it. I was unable to stop the intense slip and slide and slick and warm and…too much. But I just didn't care, and she was the one who had to bring us to a screeching halt. I blinked, desperate at her loss, feeling lightheaded and reeling like I'd just taken a full body hit. Every cell in my body strained toward her.

"Come back," I insisted, my voice deep and rough.

"Your parents," she reminded me. I heaved a sigh, scrubbing my hand through my hair and collapsing back into the chair.

"Christ, right, my parents." She made me forget myself. I would have had her on the desk, been between her legs, if she hadn't reminded me.

She was flushed, her hair tangled around her face and shoulders, biting her lip which was plump and tempting from my rubbing and sucking on it. The thought of rubbing and sucking made something else get plump, and I shifted uncomfortably.

"Jesus, I want you," I muttered and then froze. I hadn't meant to say that out loud.

A smile spread across her face before she ducked her head in embarrassment. I felt an answering heat in my own cheeks at my admission, but it was true.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be so blunt, but…Bella, you feel amazing to me." Oh, man, did she ever. "Wow."

It was a good thing she'd had the ability to stop us, because my dad came in to check on us only a few minutes later.

We actually got a lot done on our Biology report that night.

Damn it.


	17. Chapter 17: Undressing

**SM, not me.**

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**CHAPTER 17: Undressing**

I was dating Bella Swan. More than that, we had a relationship – a boyfriend-girlfriend, getting-to-be-best-friends kind of relationship. I spent as much time with her as I could. If I wasn't in school, at practice, or sleeping, I was with Bella.

She was amazing. We spent hours talking, laughing, and arguing. Oh, and making out – lots of making out. I was thrilled that she wanted to be touching and kissing me, just as much as I wanted to be touching and kissing her. She came to my games and to the parties afterward, although we usually ended up finding a private corner and just talking to each other. When the inevitable kissing started, the soft touches, the desperate gropes, we'd end up in my car or at her house if her dad wasn't home. We were both becoming frustrated with the rubbing and muted friction with layers of clothing between us. I wanted to touch her without the clothes. I wanted to see her. Her pale, gleaming skin began to show up more often in my dreams and even when I was awake, usually when my hands were on her breasts, holding them, cupping them, testing the soft, full resilience. I wanted my mouth on her bare skin. I wanted my mouth on her bare breasts. I wanted my mouth between her legs. I wanted to be between her legs. I just _wanted_.

I took her out whenever I could. I tried to make Sundays special for us, as it was the only day I had completely free. Sometimes we went to Port Angeles for a movie, dinner, or shopping. Other times we just hung out at one of our houses, with or without parents, although it was usually with at least one of mine or her dad around.

We'd become a couple, both in our minds and everyone else's in Forks, and even beyond. One Sunday afternoon, we went to Port Angeles to pick up some hockey sticks I had custom made in Seattle and shipped into a sports shop there. It had been a rare sunny fall day, and we decided to go for ice cream after our stop at the sporting goods store. Bella waited outside on the bench to soak up some of the sun while I went in to get our cones. I watched from inside the store, admiring as she shook her long hair back and lifted her face to the warm rays. A sweet, happy smile curved her mouth and the sun lit her pretty features. My heart turned over in my chest as I thought about how lucky I was to have her in my life and how much I loved her.

I turned toward the counter, taking my place in line with a frown as I realized I needed to tell her how I felt. I didn't want to push or put any pressure on her, but the words wanted to burst from my mouth every time we were together. I wanted to tell her, but I didn't want to scare her. I couldn't bear it if she didn't feel the same and tried to put distance between us. I was sure she liked me a lot, and I thought she was on her way to loving me, but I knew Bella. She wasn't used to dealing with those kinds of emotions. The last thing I wanted to do was make her uncomfortable.

I tried to shake myself out of those worrisome thoughts. Another thing I didn't want to do was ruin one of our infrequent days together with my brooding. I gradually became aware of some guys about my age standing behind me in line, making comments on the other people in the busy store. I didn't recognize them, so I figured they must have gone to Port Angeles High.

"Jesus, look at that hair." I turned my head in idle curiosity, seeing the guy who had commented standing with two of his friends. They had their backs turned to me and were looking out the front window of the store, staring at the dark-haired girl waiting patiently on the bench outside. I took a step closer, listening intently, eyes narrowed and jaw clenched when I realized they were talking about Bella.

"Hey, I know her." We all looked at him in surprise. "Well, I don't know her, but I've seen her. She's from Forks. I was at a party there a couple of weeks ago, and I saw her. I think she's seeing some guy from there, too, the hockey player, what's his name." He paused, and they all turned their heads to stare at my girl. "Emmett Cullen's brother. Can't think of his first name. It's something weird, though. Starts with an 'E', too."

"What, like Elvis?" one of them snorted.

"She sure is pretty," the other said wistfully.

"No, not Elvis," the third muttered absently. "That's not it. It's more like…"

"Edward," I said, irritated.

"Yeah!" He turned to me in pleased surprise, but froze when he saw my scowling face. "Oh! Um…" His other two friends turned to me with curious and then startled looks.

"Edward Cullen." I held out my hand. Embarrassment colored their faces when they realized I wasn't just supplying a name, I was introducing myself. The first guy automatically took my hand, looking sheepish. I drew myself up to my full height, which proved to be many inches above any of theirs. "And she's definitely seeing someone. Me."

"Heh. Hey, no harm, right? We were just…um…we were just saying…"

"Yeah. I heard." They hadn't been disrespectful, just admiring, so I wasn't pissed – much. I really couldn't blame them for admiring. She was pretty, and her hair was beautiful.

They shifted in uncomfortable silence until it was my turn to place my order. I took the cones and gave them a cool nod as I passed, heading outside to where my girl waited on the bench. I bent down and kissed her, nudging closer, insistent when she would have pulled away after giving me a publicly appropriate quick peck. She made a muffled noise in surprise when I deepened it briefly, her hand rising to cup my cheek until I reluctantly pulled away.

"Wow," she murmured, looking at me curiously. I was satisfied to note that her cheeks were flushed and she licked her lip as she took her cone from me. "What was that for?"

I shrugged, dropping onto the bench next to her and laying my arm across the back, around her shoulders. "No reason. I just wanted to kiss you."

She smiled, leaning forward to place her cold lips against mine. Her chocolate flavor mixed with my pumpkin and the taste that was all Bella. I sighed in happiness.

We didn't have much time together that week due to my practice schedule until the next Sunday. I'd invited Bella over to my house, as both my mom and dad had plans and were going to be gone for a few hours. I woke early and decided to work out a little while I waited for her to arrive. I threw on a pair of cotton shorts and a T-shirt, tossing a sweatshirt over the shirt when I glanced out the windows in my bedroom and saw the heavy grey skies. I warmed up in the workout room on Emmett's floor before heading out into the backyard, where Dad had set up the ropes and swing next to the detached extra garage.

The ropes were two inches thick and forty feet long. They attached to hooks set into the ground, and after I made sure they were secured, I began undulation and wave repetitions. It was a great workout for upper body, core, legs, and cardio. I was heaving in air when I finished, my muscles burning but pleasantly fatigued. I pulled the sweatshirt off, leaving just the T-shirt and shorts. I stretched, easing the ache from the rope exercises, and walked over to the swing. It was a basic playground model; a wide rubber sling hung by chains from a metal frame. I lowered myself in front of it, blowing out a breath and preparing myself for push-ups. I set one foot on the seat of the swing, bracing my arms before lifting up with a grunt and settling my other foot on it, as well. I was suspended, braced on my arms with my hands on the ground, my feet securely set in the swing, my body straight and taut.

It was amazingly difficult to do push-ups with your feet swinging, your body unstable, but that was the point. I made it through two reps before I heard Bella's truck pulling up in the drive, and started on a third. I was halfway through the fourth when I became aware of her walking around the side of the house. She'd seen me from the driveway and came back instead of heading for the front door.

"Hey." She approached slowly, watching me finish my workout.

"Hey," I grunted, finishing the last of the set and lowering myself to the ground, rolling away from the swing. She examined it, raising a brow.

"What is that?"

"A swing," I told her with a grin as I stood up and brushed the wet leaves and dirt off of me.

She rolled her eyes and huffed in annoyance, but she was smiling, too. "I can see that, Einstein. What were you doing with it?"

"Push ups." I stood on the other side of the swing and wrapped my hands around the chains. "Have a seat."

Her other eyebrow rose to join the first before her eyes went from the seat back to my face. "Seriously?"

I laughed and shook the chains. "Come on. I've got you. You'll be perfectly safe."

"Have you met me?" she countered, but walked over to the swing and sat gingerly, wrapping her fingers just below mine on the chains.

I leaned down, kissing the top of her head before taking a step back and placing my hands just above her butt to give a gentle push. She made a startled sound, gripping the chains tighter, and I gave her a couple more easy pushes until she was swinging in a wide arc back and forth. Laughter spilled from her, and I moved around to the front of the swing to see her face. She was grinning, her cheeks flushed, eyes sparkling, her magnificent hair swirling around her shoulders and trailing down her spine as she tipped her head back and kicked out her feet in delight. She realized I'd moved and brought her head up to find me smiling at her. She grinned back.

"What?"

"You look beautiful," I told her and held out my arms. "Jump."

Her mouth dropped open incredulously. "Jump? Are you insane?"

She dragged her feet along the ground to stop her momentum and came to a halt. I stepped up against her knees, placing my hands once again above hers on the chains, and leaned in for a proper kiss.

She sighed into my mouth, and I couldn't help taking it deeper than I originally intended. We didn't touch anywhere but our mouths and our knees where I bumped against her. She slid her hands up until they covered mine, and I turned my wrists until I held them firmly, pulling her forward, up onto her feet and against my chest. I slid my tongue along hers slowly, searchingly, and felt the warmth of her through my damp T-shirt as her arms went around my waist. My hands rose to thread through her hair, holding her for the dip and stroke of my tongue. As usual, we were quickly getting carried away.

"Hi," I said, finally, resting my forehead against hers.

"Hi." She sounded just as breathless as I did. She trailed her fingers over my bare arms, and gooseflesh erupted over them, causing me to shiver.

"Let's go inside," I said, running my hands over her shoulders, which were covered in her warm jacket.

She nodded, and I took her hand and led her to the back door. We entered through the mudroom and into the kitchen, and she took off her coat as I plucked uncomfortably at my damp shirt.

"I should probably hop in the shower," I said. "You can grab something to eat or drink, or you can come upstairs with me. Listen to music or watch TV in my room if you want."

He eyes went wide and she nodded. I wasn't sure which option she was agreeing to until she walked across the kitchen and toward the hall.

"What do you want to do today?" she asked as she went up the stairs ahead of me.

I froze for a second on the bottom step, my breath catching in my throat. I realized this was the first time we'd be alone together in my bedroom with both of my parents gone. I'd been in her bedroom – hell, on her bed with her, rolling around and my lips on every unclothed portion of her body – when her dad wasn't home, but this was the first time at my house. I swallowed and followed her up the stairs.

"Um, TV or music?" I asked as we entered my room at the top of the stairs.

"Music," she said, walking past my bed and absently running her fingers along the edge of the comforter on my bed as she went past. I gulped and dove for the remote control. "Whatever you're listening to is fine."

I'd had a classical CD in, and I arched my brow in question as it began to play. She nodded that it was acceptable, and I rubbed my sweaty palms on my shorts as I stepped sideways toward the bathroom.

"I'm going to…" I gestured at the door. "I'll just be…" _Naked._ "In the shower. I, uh, I'll be right out. Okay. Just make your self at home." I cringed and dashed for the bathroom.

I lurched to a halt in the middle of the space, taking a deep breath and shaking my head. Bella was in my bedroom while I was in the bathroom, getting ready to take a shower. No big deal. Right? I whipped my shirt off and scrubbed my face with it before tossing it down on the floor. I leaned forward and braced my hands on the counter, hanging my head as I fought back the images of her in the bathroom with me, undressing me, her hands stroking over my skin…

"Edward." I looked up when I heard her call my name and saw her reflection in the mirror.

It was as if I'd summoned her with my thoughts. I hadn't shut the door when I'd entered, used to being alone in the privacy of my third floor room. She swung to a halt in the doorway, one hand on the frame, almost tripping over her feet. Her mouth dropped open, and her eyes flew wide as she stared at me, standing in front of the sink shirtless and wearing only my grey knit workout shorts. Her eyes went from my shoulders down to my feet, and I could almost feel them physically on my skin as she greedily took in my mostly bare body. I felt a flare of satisfaction. I was glad she so obviously liked what she was seeing. I flexed my shoulders – just a little – and her eyes shot up to them, going glazed and dazed.

"Yeah?" I asked softly, watching her reflection intently. At the sound of my voice her eyes flew to mine, meeting them in the mirror, and that pretty color touched her cheeks. I realized it was the first time Bella had seen me without a shirt. She'd had her hands under it, had seen it opened over my bare chest, but this was the first time she'd seen me so exposed.

She walked toward me slowly, and I held her gaze in the mirror as she approached, not moving, waiting to see what she would do. Anticipation, lust, and love washed through me, mixing and swirling through my blood, settling low in my belly. She came to a halt behind me, and my body in the mirror blocked the view of her face. I felt her fingertips brush along my right shoulder blade, gossamer light, tracing the arch of muscle and following the sloping line to my side. I barely repressed a shudder, my eyes closing. I bit my lip in an effort to stay still and let her touch.

"So beautiful," she whispered so quietly I could barely hear her. "Edward…"

Her hand opened, and I felt the heat of her palm brushing down my side to settle for a brief second on my waist before slowly sliding back up to begin again. I couldn't control a small start of pleasure when her other hand mimicked the motion on my other side, starting at my neck, moving over my deltoids and the curve of my shoulder, down my back to my waist again.

"Bella." My voice was unsteady. I braced my arms on the counter and hung my head, unconsciously tensing. She made a low sound of pleasure that almost undid me. Her hands slid around my waist to skim the muscles in my stomach as she took a step forward, pressing her body against my back and wrapping herself around me. I gasped with the heady sensation.

I turned in the circle of her arms, slowly, carefully, not wanting to dislodge her, but needing to be able to hold her, too. I leaned back against the counter as I brought my arms around her waist, running them up her back to tangle in her long, dark hair. She leaned up on her toes, lifting her face and touching her mouth to mine briefly – much too briefly. She made another sound, this one of frustration, as she was too short to maintain the contact we both craved. I brought my arms back down around her waist and lifted her, widening my stance so she could fit between my legs and into the notch of my thighs. I knew she could feel the erection that had been growing since her initial touch. I felt as much as saw her smile as she slipped her arms around my neck and kissed me.

I lost myself in the taste of her, the feel of her mouth and tongue, so wet, slick, and hot on mine. I realized I had moved my hands to her hips, gripping her hard, rubbing her all along the front of my body. I became aware of her hands on my chest…and they were pushing. I tore my mouth from hers, my breath coming fast, want riding me hard, but she was pushing at me. Pushing at me to stop.

"Bella?" I asked, immediately easing her back on her feet and bringing my hand up to touch her face, searching her expression for a clue as to what I'd done wrong. Her expression was undecipherable as she bit her lip and returned my look. She took a step back, and my concern grew, but the question froze on the tip of my tongue as her hands came up and began undoing the buttons of her shirt. She started at the top and moved down – slowly. I couldn't take my eyes from her fingers, twisting, pushing, and pulling each button free until they were all undone. She clutched the shirt closed over her chest, and I finally forced my focus back to her face.

She stared at me, color heightening on her cheeks, but then she deliberately parted the material. I saw a white lace bra, pale, smooth skin, and softly mounded flesh just before her arms wrapped around my torso and she buried her face against my sternum. I gasped at the sensation of her partially bared skin against mine.

"Edward," she whispered unsteadily. "I want to feel you. And you feel so good."

It felt amazing, but the sight of her partially exposed chest had burned into my retinas and groin. I wanted to _see_. This was a hugely momentous occasion. This was Bella, my Bella, and she had her almost bare breasts pressed against my chest. I'd seen her, however briefly, with her shirt open. I'd seen her bra. I'd seen her breasts covered only by her bra. I had to be careful, or I would come in my shorts like a kid. I wanted to see her, without the bra – I wanted to touch. To kiss. I wanted to suck, lick…oh, shit. Very close to coming.

I realized I was panting as I tried to control my reaction to seeing her undressing herself. Bella leaned back, bringing her lower body more firmly against mine, and I winced. She smiled, pressing – just for an instant, but that was enough – against the hardness between my legs before her blush exploded across her face and she tugged on my hand. She took a step back, smiling shyly, and the sides of her shirt parted. I could see the press of her nipples against the lacey white fabric of her bra and couldn't keep still for another second. I exploded from the counter, grabbing her up, kissing her, and carrying her into my bedroom. Her legs hooked around my waist, and she laughed in relief and happiness. Any worry I had that I was moving too fast or being too forward, too rough, dissolved at the sound.

I found the bed and lowered her onto it. I was torn between wanting to kiss her and wanting to stare at the pretty white lace and, more importantly, the even prettier breasts it covered. She reached up and ran the flat of her palms over my shoulders and across the planes of my chest, her face intense, concentrating on my skin and muscle. She leaned up and kissed my collarbone, moving to the hollow of my throat and then shyly down my sternum, placing her lips firmly in the center of my chest. I gasped and took her arms in my hands, easing her back, watching intently as the folds of her shirt parted on either side of her rapidly rising and falling chest.

I stared. I knew I was and couldn't help it. I managed to glance up at her face to see her watching me look at her, biting her lip, a faint blush covering her cheeks.

"Bella," I murmured, my voice raspy. I swallowed and tried again. "Bella, are you sure?"

She nodded, and I watched in rapt fascination as my fingers touched the pulse throbbing in her throat and eased across her soft skin. They rose with the soft slope of her right breast, over the material of her bra, and paused briefly on the darker circle of her nipple. I held my breath as I moved my fingers to the front closure, sliding them underneath and twisting slightly, snapping it open. I tried to control my breathing as I stared at the small sliver of skin exposed between the two cups. I lowered my head, placing a gentle kiss to that pale strip, and brushed the material aside.

Bella twisted slightly and gasped at the sensation, and I began to shake. Fine tremors of excitement, delight, and gratitude coursed through me as my eyes fastened on her bare breasts. They were just as gorgeous as the rest of her.

"Bella," I whispered. "Oh, Bella."

I touched the silky, giving flesh, enraptured by the softness and resiliency, the way the nipple tightened and hardened. Her breathing became unsteady as I stroked, caressed, and held, alternating my focus between where my hands touched her and her face, which was twisting and tensing with pleasure. She was making soft, needy sounds by the time I gathered enough control to finally place my lips on her, starting on the flat, smooth flesh just above the mound of her left breast. She gasped and touched my bent head, her fingers slipping through my hair.

"Okay?" I murmured against her, over her heart, and I felt her nod.

I let my mouth drift lower, feeling the waft of my own breath hitting her skin. I let my tongue come out and trace a path over the rounded flesh, circling her nipple. She tasted so fresh and sweet and exactly like Bella. I paused briefly and then took her nipple in my mouth. We both groaned loudly.

The difference in the reaction of her flesh was fascinating. Instead of meltingly soft, her nipple hardened and peaked, grew firm and round, pushing against my tongue. I moaned again and heard her echo the sound as I applied gentle suction, sliding my tongue over the tip. I reveled in her response. Heat shot to my groin, and I hardened even more with impressive speed. The feel of her, the intimacy we were sharing, the sheer pleasure of her skin and her taste made me ache painfully. Her fingers gripped my hair, pulling me closer as she writhed and arched under me, her breath coming in hard, quick pants and soft whimpers. I heard my name whisper from her lips, over and over. I arched my back, my mouth still latched to her breast, hands gripping her hips and pulling her against me, groin to groin.

I don't know how long we stayed like that rubbing, sucking, licking, touching, and loving each other. By the time my well-conditioned lungs were burning, I knew it was past time to stop. My parents would be home, and if I kept going, I'd want her completely naked. I'd want us both naked, and I wanted to be inside her. I pulled slowly away, breathing heavily, my eyes on hers as they fluttered open in confusion and dazed with pleasure. My heart swelled even more than my cock.

"Edward," she breathed. "Edward, what…"

"Sh." My eyes fell to her chest, and I grimaced when I saw the reddened skin, irritated from the attention of my mouth, teeth, and tongue, as well as the scruff of the beard I hadn't bothered to shave that morning. I brought my hands up to cover them, massaging, soothing….getting turned on again. "I'm sorry, Bella."

She purred – she actually purred, arching into my hands, and the getting turned on flashed into totally turned on again in an instant. I sat up and pulled her into my lap, her legs around my waist. She rubbed against the obvious hardness between my legs, rolling her head back and letting her hair cascade over my arm. I shuddered in an effort to bring my raging lust under control. I wanted her. I wanted her desperately, but I had to stop. I knew she'd never had sex before, and I didn't want the first time I made love to her to be rushed or hurried. I wanted to make it right for her. I wanted to enjoy her, and I wanted her to enjoy it even more. What I didn't want was for it to be too rough the first time I was inside her, and that would take some thought, planning, and preparation on my part to reduce her discomfort. I knew I couldn't eliminate it, but I knew I could certainly lessen it. But I couldn't do that by throwing her back on my bed and going at her as quick as I could before my parents got home.

"Bella." I eased her back, reaching down and unwrapping her legs from around my waist. "My mom and dad will be home soon."

She leaned forward with a muffled sound of protest when I set her on the bed in front of me. I returned the kiss, but then swung my legs over the side, rubbing my hands over my face. I couldn't look at her bare breasts anymore, or I'd be all over her. "Holy shit. I don't want to stop."

"Me, neither," she admitted quietly. I heard her fumbling with her clothes, and I wanted to help her, but I didn't trust myself. The bed dipped as she knelt behind me, placing her cheek on my back between my shoulders. I felt her sigh.

I turned to her, glad she was covered but disappointed at the same time. I took her face between my palms and kissed her gently. "You're amazing," I whispered.

"You're pretty amazing yourself." Her hands reached around and ran over my chest, fingers brushing across my nipples and tracing the outline of muscle. I shuddered and groaned, circling her wrists with my fingers and holding her hands still. I was trying really hard to do the right thing. I turned fully toward her, kissing her, and she wrapped her arms around my neck as I lifted her and carried her across the room.

"I need to shower," I said against her lips. "And you need to not be in my bedroom, tempting me. My self-control is in shreds." I set her down near the door.

"I think self-control may be overrated," she said, grinning.

I laughed and swatted her round ass. "Go."

She pouted, and it nearly brought me to my knees as it always did. She sighed dramatically and shuffled slowly out the door.

"I need a cold drink now, anyway," I heard her grumble as she disappeared down the stairs.

From that point on, every time we managed some time alone, tops flew. We hadn't quite gotten to the point where we lost pants, although she'd become pretty comfortable touching me over my jeans, even inside them on a couple of memorable occasions. It was driving me mad, but I was still determined not to rush her and to make her first time a good one. I just needed opportunity.

We were rolling around on the couch in the family room of her house one afternoon, both of us bare from the waist up with her fingers inside my jeans and wrapped firmly around my dick over my briefs. The maddening friction caused me to moan and shudder, and she astounded me with another of her questions.

"What do you call it?" she whispered.

"Ung," I groaned.

"Edward." Her voice was rich and deep, and her hand felt incredible. I just barely resisted the urge to thrust into her palm, and then I couldn't any longer. I thrust. And thrust again. Moaning. "What do you call it?"

"What?" I managed, the fog of lust slowing my responses.

"This." She gave me a firm squeeze. More moaning. "What do you call it?"

"What?" _What?_ Did she want to know if I'd given it some weird, cutesy name? Um, hell no. "Why?"

"Penis is such a weird word, don't you think? Penis. It's weird."

She wanted to talk about this now? In the middle of making out? I shook my head, trying to clear it, but her hand… Oh, her hand. And she'd just said _penis_. Holy fuck. I plunged my tongue down her throat. She started to move her fingers off me, but mine shot down to trap them just below my navel.

"It doesn't have a name or anything, Bella," I panted desperately. I wanted her hand back where it had been. "It's my dick, for fuck's sake. My cock."

"Cock," she repeated wonderingly, and then said it again. "Cock."

Oh, holy fucking hell. It was a good thing she'd moved her hand or I'd have been coming all over it. I had to figure out a way to get her safely alone so I could make love to her properly before she killed me.

It was the week before Thanksgiving before we finally got each other naked. I'd brought her home from school like I usually did, but that particular day, I didn't have to rush off to practice. We ran through the rain from the car into her house, and I'd stopped to grab her on the front walk and kiss her until we were both breathless and soaking wet. Laughing, she led me into the house and up the stairs to her bedroom while she retrieved a couple of towels from the bathroom and tossed one at me. I dried off, watching her smile. Her eyes were sparkling, her cheeks flushed with pleasure and humor, and I knew I had to have more of her. I swiftly calculated how much time we had before her dad got home.

I got her on the bed with me, drying her gorgeous hair with the towel, easing her into kisses, easing my shirt off, and easing her out of hers along with her bra. She wouldn't let me distract her with my mouth on her amazing breasts for long, instead pushing me back on the bed to stare, touch, and admire. I was content to let her, reveling in the feel of her quick and thorough fingers, tongue, and teeth on me, testing my muscles and self-control. I shut my eyes and enjoyed the sensations running over my skin and through my body, until I felt her fingers at the buttons of my jeans. My dick leapt and said _yes!_ while my mind gathered my determination and control. I grabbed her arms, and she froze, lifting her head to look at me quizzically.

"Bella, shit, wait." I took a few deep breaths to try to calm the eager rush of blood through my body. I held her hands in mine and prayed for strength, bringing our clasped hands to my forehead. I wanted her so badly I could hardly stand it. "Christ, that feels so good. You have no idea. But, Bella, I don't have…I'm sure you don't have…any condoms?"

She gaped at me, and I grimaced. Nice job springing that one on her. That was me. Smooth as shit.

"Um, no." She worried her bottom lip with her teeth. "Don't you?"

"No." I shook my head regretfully.

"Don't boys usually? I mean, in your wallet or something?" She traced her fingers over my stomach and my muscles clenched at the sensation.

"Sometimes," I told her. "But I haven't needed any in a while, and, well…I guess I just didn't think…" I didn't think we'd be ready to need one so soon, at least not here at her house. I had a drawer full back home in my bedroom, but none with me.

"Edward, I've had a shot." She reached for me, and I grabbed her hand in reflex, frowning at her words. What was she talking about?

"A shot?" She needed alcohol to sleep with me? "A shot of what?"

She flushed, and I twitched. "Birth control. I, uh, have really bad…pains. This way, I only have a couple of, you know, periods a year." If it was possible, she got even redder. "And…uh…I've never done this before, so I don't have any…diseases or anything."

Oh, a birth control shot. Got it. But it still didn't matter. After the debacle with Bree, I made a solemn vow to myself I would never, ever let myself be put in that position again, where there would be any question about my getting a girl pregnant. I wouldn't let that happen, or let there be even the slightest possibility of disease. Not that I was worried about that at all with her, but… My dad had taught his lessons well, but Bree had brought it home like no lecture or any amount of slides and diagrams could. But – God – I didn't want to have to tell Bella about my past experiences. Especially not right now when I had her warm and half naked in my arms, about to strip me of my jeans for the first time, about to experience something I'd dreamt about for so very long. But I had to tell her. She deserved to know, and it would help explain how I felt – how I would never sleep with anyone without using a condom. I reached for her, wanting her close when I made my awful confession.

"Bella, I have to tell you something," I took a deep breath.

"That doesn't sound good," she said in a nervous voice.

I realized it probably wasn't the best way to start off any conversation. I gave her a quick kiss and tucked her head under my chin, hugging her closer. "It's nothing bad, not really. It's just, you should know…I'm glad you're on birth control, but I haven't – I won't – ever have sex, make love, without a condom."

She was silent for long seconds, and I forced myself to be patient and let her process what I was telling her.

"Never?" she finally asked.

"Let me explain, okay?" I hoped she'd listen, really listen, before she made any judgments. "Last year, well, I went out on a date or two with this girl. Nothing serious, we just went to lunch and to a movie a couple of times. It was very casual, for me at least, she was cute and really nice, but there was just no spark."

Her body went stiff in my arms and I fought back a burst of panic. _Please believe me,_ I thought. _Please don't be mad._ I lowered my face until my nose and lips brushed her hair.

"Bella?" I murmured, checking to see if she was ready for me to continue. I felt her head jerk in affirmation and continued, wanting to get it over with.

"I broke it off after those first couple of dates. I figured no harm, no foul. We hadn't established a relationship or anything. It was very casual, and I thought she felt the same way I did. I enjoyed talking to her, but that was about it." I took a deep breath, preparing to plunge into the worst part of my confession. "About a month later she showed up at the hospital, in the ER, to see my dad. She, uh, she told him she was…pregnant."

I waited, my heart pounding. I was sure she could feel it from where she was curled against me, her cheek resting directly over where it thumped in my chest. She brought her hands up to push herself away, and I felt a sharp, blinding pain rip through me. I wanted to grab her and make her stay. I couldn't bear it if she left me because of what I was telling her, but I couldn't blame her, and I certainly couldn't stop her if that was what she wanted. I searched her face as she just stared at me.

"Pregnant?" she finally repeated in disbelief.

"Yeah. I don't know what she was thinking. I mean, my dad is a doctor. They have tests, and she knew it wasn't true, but…it just shows how messed up she was." Bella hadn't bolted from the room, or even from my lap, and I took hope in that.

I told her how I'd never even held Bree's hand or kissed her, let alone slept with her, and prayed she'd believe me. I tried to explain how the entire experience had made me so scared of an unplanned pregnancy that I'd vowed never have sex without a condom again. That feeling of helplessness had been horrible, even for those few minutes, worrying how I could prove my innocence. How did you prove you hadn't sleep with someone? I'd never felt so absolutely miserable in my life, and nothing was worth feeling like that again. Not even sex without a condom. I hoped I'd explained it so she understood that it wasn't her I didn't trust, because I did, one hundred percent. I wouldn't be with her if I didn't. It was birth control I didn't trust – that wasn't one hundred percent. Using a condom as well as another form of birth control was as close as I could get.

I took a quick glance at her face after I'd finished the sordid tale. "So, I hope you understand…I hope…I'm sorry, but…"

After a second, she reached out and placed her open palm over my heart. I wanted to grab her and squeeze her breathless at the gentle touch. "I do understand, Edward. I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" She hunched her bare shoulders, and I ran my hands over the smooth curves to warm her. I was the one that was sorry. Why was she apologizing to me? "What are you sorry for?"

"That she did that to you. That she lied. That you had to go through all of that." She kissed me, and I wanted to shout with relief. Bella was amazing, and I was the luckiest bastard on the face of the earth to have her. She asked me a couple of questions, understandably curious, but eventually came to the other question I'd dreaded since we started getting more intimate. It was one I wasn't sure how to answer.

"You've had sex before, right?"

Oh man, the sex question – the question about past sexual relationships. I'd really only had one, but what a one it was. And how did you talk about a girl you'd had sex with in the past with the one you wanted to have sex with in the future? Bella was the only girl that had ever mattered – that would ever matter. I had no idea what to say, but I couldn't lie to her. Not about this.

"Yeah," I told her in a low voice, and sighed. "Yeah, I have."

She was silent again for a long time, and tension built inside me. If she asked, I'd tell her whatever she wanted to know. I wasn't sure the best way to proceed, but I knew I shouldn't just blurt out details of my sexual experience with another girl. I'd let Bella choose – let her guide me, because this was one area in which I was completely lost.

But what she said was, "I haven't." That was it. I smiled into her hair and tilted her face to look at me.

"I know." I kissed her, my hands cupping her face, letting her feel my gladness, my gratefulness for her kind spirit. I thought for sure she'd want to rethink our relationship. I wouldn't underestimate her again.

She made a sassy comment about doing things that didn't require a condom, and my groin cramped with sensation even as I grinned at her. She knew things, did she? We'd just see about that.

But, as always, she was the one that showed me. She shook me, she moved me, she awed me. Seeing her between her legs, finally getting her jeans off and touching her where she was so hot, damp, and so _bare_. I almost lost my mind when I felt her deep inside, clenching, coming on my fingers, exquisite in her beauty and the experience of her first orgasm at my hands. Me. Mine.

And then I did lose my mind when she roused herself and stripped me, her hands all over my body. And then, again her unexpectedness. Her mouth was on me. I never imagined – no, that wasn't true. I'd imagined plenty. I'd just never expected it, not so soon. Not so much. Not so completely annihilating. And I never dreamed she'd let me come in her mouth – no, that wasn't true, either. I'd dreamed plenty. But the reality was more overwhelming than my wildest fantasies.

And when she fell asleep in my arms, sated, satisfied, and smug, I held her. I kept watch over her, loving the feel of her warm body resting so trustfully against mine. I mouthed the words I couldn't say out loud into her hair and lay with her until I had slip out of the house before her dad came home.


	18. Chapter 18: Rocked

**SM, not me.**

**Thanks to Sarahsumbrella and SunKing as always for their expertise and support.**

**CM has been nominated for Sunflower awards in a couple of categories, including Best Edward. Thank you - I can't tell you how gratified I am that you guys think enough of a Sweetward to nominate him. I would so appreciate it of you can go check out the nominees and vote! http : / / thesunflowerawards . blogspot . com**

**I tried to reply to all of last chap's reviews before posting this one, but it looks like ffnet is fail once again, and the reply link isn't working in the e-mails. I figured I'd get this up and try to get to them later, and definitely answer any specific questions if I can! Sorry about that guys - and thanks for taking the time to leave the reviews.**

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**CHAPTER 18: Rocked**

Thanksgiving was going to be the first time Bella and I would be separated for any significant amount of time since we'd started dating. She was going to Phoenix to visit her mom and her mom's new husband, Phil. My mom, dad, and I were going to visit Emmett to soak up some sun and get away from November in Washington like we did every Thanksgiving.

I realized how different that holiday was from those in the past. The year before I'd been excited to go to California. There was a girl, a good friend of Rosalie's that I'd met when she'd roomed in the same dorm as Rose. Carole and I had been kind of seeing each other the previous year whenever I made it out to see Emmett. I wasn't sure it could be called it dating since we only saw each other when I came to California, which had only been a handful of times. It was a friendship – a sleeping together kind of friendship. Carole was the first girl I ever had sex with, and I'd learned a lot from her. She was pretty, kind, smart, outgoing, and we'd enjoyed each other a lot, but there wasn't the kind of consuming connection I felt with Bella. I liked Carole and enjoyed the time we'd spent together, but I loved Bella. The difference in the way I felt was amazing. Carole had started dating another of Emmett's friends, a guy named Andy, and I knew she felt for him the way I felt for Bella. Having found people we were truly in love with made the friendship between us all the better.

"Edward!"

"Carole! Hey." I was with Emmett and Rose, meeting their friends at a beachside restaurant for lunch while Mom and Dad were off with their friends. She ran up to me with a wide smile, giving me a quick, welcoming hug. I grinned down at her. "You look great."

"So do you. The overcast skies of Washington State really agree with you." She laughed and glanced behind her. "You know Andy, right?"

"Yeah. Hey, man. How are you?" I held out my hand and he took it, giving me a hard, purposeful shake and a direct stare. I smiled, a little uncertain of his reaction. He wasn't jealous, was he? Whatever had been between me and Carole hadn't been serious, and it had ended a long time ago. I shrugged and went to sit at the long table filled with Emmett and Rosalie's friends.

I sat across from Carole and Andy as we ate. She and I talked about school, and I told her about Bella. I could see Andy relaxing as he heard me talk about my girlfriend, how much I cared about her, and how honestly happy Carole was for me. I couldn't blame him; Carole was great. If I ever ran into a guy Bella had slept with, I'd want to rip his head off, so I could relate to his attitude. It was good to see her happy. I was so happy with Bella I felt sappy with it and wanted everyone to feel like I did, especially people I cared about.

We went to the beach after lunch and hung out for the rest of the day, surfing, swimming, playing football, and soaking up the sun. Emmett and I were covered in enough SPF to survive a nuclear meltdown, but we both ended up bright pink anyway and entertained ourselves by slapping each other on our minor sunburns all afternoon. Rosalie took a picture of us on my phone, and I sent it to Bella, wanting her to see I was in the beach with my brother and his girlfriend. There were no cute California girls, as she called them, in sight. And I wanted her to know I was thinking about her. Hell, I couldn't get her off my mind. I missed my girl.

We had Thanksgiving dinner at Emmett and Rosalie's apartment, going for a walk on the beach afterward. Emmett had a big football game against their crosstown rivals, UCLA, that weekend. Emmett's team not only won, but he broke a school record for passing yards. As much fun as I'd had seeing my brother and spending a long weekend in sunny California, I was looking forward to returning to chilly weather and overcast skies so I could see Bella.

I called her when we got home Sunday night. It was late, but I knew she had gotten in from Phoenix earlier that afternoon. I couldn't wait until the next morning at school to talk to her. I wanted to know she got home safe, and let her know I had as well, but mostly I just wanted to hear her voice. And when I did see her on Monday morning, she looked so pretty, smelled so good, and felt even better as she jumped into my arms like we'd been separated for months.

"Missed you!" she said, kissing my face and hugging me. I held the wriggling girl in my arms and thought nothing had ever felt so right.

"I missed you. So much." I took a few seconds to kiss her good and proper, but forced myself to let her go before we got busted for making out in the hall.

"So you had fun in California?" she asked, taking my hand as we walked to her locker.

"Yeah, it was okay. Sunny. It was good to see Emmett and Rosalie. Mom and Dad and I went to his football game on Saturday. He won and played really well, so it was cool."

"Oh. Um, yeah. The game was on TV."

"You saw it?" I was surprised. I knew she wasn't a huge football fan, but maybe her new stepdad was.

"Yeah, I saw the game." I glanced at her, curious at the tone of her voice. She wasn't looking at me, and a faint hint of color highlighted her cheekbones. Why would seeing Emmett's football game embarrass her? A lot of people saw the game.

"Yeah?" I asked slowly, trying to figure out her strange reaction. "What'd you think?"

"My mom and Phil watched, too. Phil's a big fan of your brother. It was okay." She paused, and I saw her biting her lip. "I saw your mom and dad when they showed a shot of the crowd. They put your mom's name under her with the, you know, graphics thing."

"Really?" I wondered if she'd be pleased to know that.

"Yeah. And I, uh, saw you, too."

"You did?" I frowned, wondering why I had been in a crowd shot, and then I remembered I'd been sitting next to my mom. "Huh." I grinned down at her, teasing. "How'd I look?"

For some reason, this made her face flame. "Good! I mean, yeah. You looked good. Fine, I guess."

I looked down at her curiously as we walked down the hall to her locker, wondering why she was acting so strangely. "Okay," I said slowly.

"Hey, Cullen!" Yorkie passed us grinning like an idiot. "Nice button flies." He cackled and kept on going. A group of girls giggled and ducked their heads, scurrying away when I looked at them

What the hell was that all about? I glanced down, surreptitiously checking to make sure I'd done up my fly this morning. Everything was where it was supposed to be, and I frowned in confusion. Why was everyone acting so weird?

Newton went by, slapping my shoulder and grinning widely. He shook his hips and sang a line that sounded suspiciously like "chicka chicka bow bow." I glared and then turned to Bella, who was still blushing furiously.

"All right, what the hell is going on?"

She bit her lip again, glancing up at me quickly before looking away. She grabbed my hand and steered me toward the corner of the hall, where there was an empty spot that was semi-private. Her fingers tightened around mine, but she kept her head ducked so I couldn't see her expression. I was starting to get a little worried.

"Well, you see…during the game, when they showed you on TV…" her voiced faded, and I wanted to shout with frustration. What did this have to do with Emmett's damn game? "Your mom was sitting, but you weren't."

"What does that have to do with anything?" I had no idea what she was talking about.

She finally looked at me, and I saw that her cheeks were still pink. "Edward. The camera was on your mom's face. You were standing. The camera shot was…here." She gestured at my waist, and I still didn't get it. She sighed, and made an abrupt framing motion over my groin. "Like that. Right there. And you, well, you kind of rocked back, like this." She demonstrated, pushing her hips forward. "And you had your button flies on. And the buttons showed. Very obviously."

I just stared at her, my brain struggling to comprehend. It finally clicked, and I paled. "Are you saying…you're saying…Crotch shot?"

She nodded vigorously. "Such a crotch shot. My mom was impressed." Her cheeks flooded with color again, and she slapped a hand over her mouth in mortification. I moaned.

"Please tell me you're kidding." She shook her head, her hand still over her mouth. I tipped my head back and squeezed my eyes shut. "It couldn't have been that bad, right?"

She made a muffled, squeaking noise, and I brought my head back up to see her still pink face. Her eyes were wide and apologetic.

"Really?" I yanked out my iPhone and pulled up a recording of the game on the web, huddling closer to her in the corner of the hall as we bent over it.

"It was right before halftime," she said as I forwarded through the first quarter. The warning bell rang, but we both ignored it. "There. There's your mom." I hit pause and then let it run at normal speed. "And there's…you."

I watched. I paused, re-wound, and watched again. I watched it in regular speed and in slow motion. Even on the small screen of my phone, it was…not good.

"Oh shit," I whispered. "My grandmother was watching this." I shut my eyes again in mortification.

"Along with, what? About a million other people? I'm sure she was proud." She giggled as I gaped at her. "I meant of Emmett." She tried to keep a straight face, but couldn't hold it. She burst out laughing.

"It isn't funny, Bella!" I watched it again, and a smile twitched at my mouth. Yep, that was all me. My poor grandmother. I stared at the image on the screen and started laughing, too.

**-0-**

The next month was crazy. Our high school hockey season was going great. Practices stepped up in intensity as we closed the first half of the season with a good possibility of automatically qualifying for the state playoffs. We'd only suffered one loss, and that one due to lack of concentration rather than skill. While it was great for my hockey life, my social life sucked as a result. I was constantly exhausted and horny – well, even more exhausted and definitely more horny than usual. I made as much time as I could for Bella, and again counted myself a lucky bastard that she was so understanding of my schedule. She rarely complained about me being at practice all the time, or when I was so exhausted I literally fell asleep on her.

We finally got a break the week before Christmas. I had a Friday night game instead of Saturday because of the upcoming holiday, and my parents had decided to spend Saturday night in Seattle. They were going to catch a show and then pick Emmett and Rosalie up at Sea-Tac when they arrived Sunday morning to spend the first few days of the holiday break in Forks. Their overnight trip had been a last minute decision, and I couldn't wait to tell Bella. The thought of having her all to myself, alone in my house all weekend, was pretty fucking exciting. We just had to come up with a good excuse to give her dad.

"I know my schedule has been crazy, but I'll make it up to you," I told her that Friday morning as we stood in front of my locker. "My mom and dad are going to Seattle this weekend. They're leaving Saturday and staying overnight. They'll pick Emmett and Rosalie up at the airport Sunday morning – they've decided to come home for a few days for Christmas. What's your dad's schedule like this weekend?"

Her face brightened with intrigue and excitement, and then fell with disappointment. "He'll be home. He's not working this weekend. Well, he won't be home during the day. He's got plans to go fishing with his friend, but he'll be there at night. Sorry."

"I was kind of hoping you could stay the night." I thought about this setback as I pulled her close and gave her a quick kiss. "My mom and dad are leaving late morning. We'll have all day, at least."

Her curfew wasn't until midnight. If my parents left before noon…that was a lot of time to have her all to myself. Overnight would definitely be better, but I could work with twelve hours or more.

I couldn't stop from brushing my mouth along her jaw and her neck as she tipped her head back, encouraging me with soft sighs. I resisted the urge to follow the path of my lips with my tongue. We were in the hall at school, after all.

Alice interrupted and proceeded to inform us we were going to a movie with her and Jasper after my game. Bella and I exchanged a glance. I knew we were both thinking the same thing – there went any chance of us having a few hours alone, but no one said no to Alice when she had that determined look in her eye.

I was primed and ready for the game that night. The team we were playing held the last place in the league, but it didn't mean we were guaranteed a win. Sloppy play and lack of concentration lost games, as we had seen in our only loss that season. None of us took a win for granted, but I wasn't quite as keyed up as I usually was when I hit the ice. The winger that had been assigned to me, Stefan, was a guy I'd know since we were little. I'd played in the peewee league and junior hockey with most of the guys on the other team, as a matter of fact. We joked and bullshitted as we waited for the ref to start the game, good-naturedly calling each other names and shoving and poking with our sticks. He gave me a stinger across the knuckles when the ref finally dropped the puck – that shit hurt even through the gloves – and I took off after him with a hoot of amusement.

The other team had won the faceoff and control of the puck. I chased Stefan into the corner when it got passed to him, giving him a good check into the board and hacking away at the puck trapped between our skates. I poked it free and spun, leaving him lounging on the boards and took off down the ice. I slowed slightly so that my teammates could swing in behind me to avoid an offside call. I saw Rick pacing me on the other side of the ice and shot the puck to him after we'd passed the line. He took it in to score.

After the goal, we took the drop at center ice. I circled with Stefan, grinning at him as we jabbed at each other while we waited for the refs.

"Fucking Cullen," he said with a shake of his head.

"Too fast for you?" I mocked, grinning. "Pay attention next time, asshole. Maybe you'll learn something."

He snorted and started to retort to my teasing, but the puck dropped and Rick took possession. He got hit mid-ice and lost it, so I spun and circled, skating backward, guarding my zone as the player from the other team dumped the puck behind me. I turned and dove after it. I got a good, solid cross check to my kidneys, grunting as I reached the puck and scooped it toward me, not wanting it rolling loose so close to our net. I glanced around for Rick or another forward on his line, but didn't see any blue jerseys nearby. I finally saw Bill coming around the back of the net and shot the puck to him, slinging it around the corner. It hit his stick with a satisfying thunk. As soon as I saw he had it under control, I spun to position myself in the slot in front of my goalie.

Bill cleared the puck, and Rick picked it up at the blue line. I followed along behind as he advanced into the offensive zone, until I saw Yorkie drop the pass. I checked to make sure Bill had the zone covered and jumped in, twisting to avoid one of their players who tried to take me out as I headed for the net. I had to spin and reverse as I saw their coverage, heading back to the point and dumping the puck for Crowley. His shot on goal got deflected – _too early, you idiot_ – and Stefan intercepted. I saw him coming and raced toward the boards, getting to him just in time to deliver a rattling hit and tossing him against the plexiglass. It shuddered and shook but held. The puck was tangled up in our skates, and I tried to kick it free, but he got his stick hooked around my ankle and pulled the foot I had my weight on out from under me. I stumbled backward, going down hard on my ass and spinning toward where the puck had been kicked loose. I narrowly missed the center's skate blade as it flashed across my face, the cage on my helmet saving me from an ugly injury. I scrambled to my feet and took off after Stefan. The fucker was going down.

We had a great time trading hits, insults, and goals, but in the end we won by a comfortable margin. The locker room was energized with everyone celebrating another win and looking forward to the party afterward. I congratulated my teammates but showered quickly. I just wanted to see Bella and wasn't sorry to be missing the party. We hadn't had enough time together in recent weeks. I kind of wished I had her to myself that night, that we didn't have to go out with Jasper and Alice, but I felt like I hadn't been spending enough time with my friend, either. As much as I wanted to spend the night making out with Bella, and seeing if she was up for a little more than just making out, I knew it would be good to spend some time with Jazz and Alice.

When I walked out of the locker room, Bella was waiting for me in the lobby. Despite my rushed shower, most of the crowd had left, and there were only a few stragglers on their way out of the building. I glanced around, but didn't see our friends.

"What, no Alice and Jazz?" I wondered if there had been a change of plans after all. Despite my earlier thoughts that it would be good to all go out together, I couldn't deny the surge of gladness I felt at the thought I might have Bella all to myself.

"Alice wanted to change her jacket. They'll meet us at your car." She smiled ruefully, and I knew her thoughts were the same as mine.

I couldn't help the pang of disappointment as I slung my bag over one shoulder and put my other around her shoulders, pulling her to my side as we walked toward the doors. A heavy fog had filled the night air while we'd been in the arena, swirling around the parking lot. The lot lights were pools of orange dotting the thick white haze. We paused just outside the door as Crowley brushed by us, and we headed toward where I had left my car.

"This is crazy," Bella murmured, the damp air muffling her voice.

I could make out the shape of the Volvo and walked up to the trunk, placing my bag inside while Bella went to the passenger side door. I glanced around but didn't see Jasper's car anywhere. I figured it could take a while for Alice to make a change of costume and settled in to wait – not that I minded. At all. I turned the key in the ignition and rolled down the windows so we could listen to some music in the meantime. It was damp and slightly chilly, and as I walked around the hood of the car, I saw Bella staring into the swirling fog, brushing at the hair that clung to her cheeks.

"Do you want to go back inside the rink to wait for Jazz and Alice?" I asked, concerned she was uncomfortable.

"No, I'm good," she assured me. "This is just really weird."

"But kinda cool, huh? It's really getting thick." It was, and getting thicker and heavier by the second. I hoped Jasper wouldn't have any trouble driving through it.

I leaned against the side of the car and opened my arms, gratified when she slipped into them without hesitation. The song playing on my iPod was sultry and slow, and I closed my eyes, enjoying the warmth of the girl in my arms, the sweet scent of her, the amazing feel of her body against mine. She burrowed inside my jacket, and I lay my cheek on the top of her head as I gathered her even closer, warming her and keeping her secure. The sound of the bluesy guitar thrummed and faded in the heavy air, and the chords of the next song were more strident and definitely different than the last. Bella stirred in my arms, and I could feel her unconsciously starting to move to the beat. _Little Willy _typically had that affect on people. I could tell she'd actually recognized it when she let out a laugh and lifted her head to give me an amused, incredulous look.

"Seriously, Edward? _Little Willy_?"

"What?" My foot started tapping alongside hers.

"Musical prodigy Edward Cullen has a song by Sweet on his iPod?" She shook her head in disbelief and moved away. I made a grab for her, but she just took another step backward.

I watched her in curiosity as she brought her fist to her face, signing into it like a microphone. I was actually pretty shocked she knew the words. I reached out and snagged her hand, turning her in a tight circle so that she ended up in the crook of my arm, up against my side, before I spun her back out again.

We danced and sang, and my heart soared at the sound of her laughter, her honest enjoyment, and the sheer pleasure of dancing with my girl. She let me spin her, twirl her, steal a kiss when I pulled her close, shimmying when I whirled her away. I loved seeing her let loose and enjoy herself. She lifted her arms over her head, moving in a long, compelling undulation, flipping her hair and swirling it around her face and shoulders. She was beautiful temptation, calling me in an age-old fashion, and I responded, following her command. I would have done anything for her in that moment and wanted to do everything to her she would allow. The song came to an end and we collapsed, grinning widely, against the car.

"I can't believe you have that song on your iPod." She was laughing as we sank down to sit on the rough asphalt, arms wrapped around each other.

"Yeah, well, you knew every word. And who sang it." I couldn't resist pressing a kiss to her smiling lips.

She struggled to her knees, and I steadied her, surprised when she swung her legs over mine to straddle my hips. I grunted and grabbed her waist when she hit a sensitive spot in her enthusiasm, but sighed with pleasure when she leaned into me. She brought her mouth close, so close I could feel the quick puffs of her breaths against my face. I closed my eyes, enjoying her and the anticipation of kissing her, but she suddenly stiffened and jerked slightly. My eyes flew open to look at her in concern.

"What?" I asked. Her eyes were wide and scared, her face pale instead of flushed. What the hell?

The breath left her lungs in a whoosh and she went limp, resting her forehead against mine. "Edward…"

"Bella, what?" I began to panic a little, wondering what had changed so abruptly. She'd been so lighthearted and happy, and now she looked almost ill.

"I love you."

A low hum filled my ears and I felt lightheaded and tingly. A sharp, almost metallic taste flooded my mouth as adrenaline dumped into my system. I couldn't move. I couldn't think. I couldn't believe I'd heard her correctly. I didn't want this moment to ever end.

She loved me. Bella loved me. My heart started again, pounding in frantic, heavy beats. It hurt, hammering and painful and so shockingly awesome that I couldn't draw breath. I tried, but my lungs weren't working. My mind was frozen. My heart…my heart pounded.

She stared at me as I tried to respond, struggling free of my arms and off my lap when I remained frozen in utter shock, the exhilaration that filled me paralyzing and complete. Her hands fluttered at her sides and she spun to face me. I knew I needed to say something, admit the overwhelming intensity of what I felt for her, but my mind and body didn't want to break the spell. I wanted to savor the pure bliss of the moment she told me she loved me.

"Edward, sorry, I just…it's just…God," she stuttered, blowing out a breath in frustration and looking miserable. That snapped me out of my daze. The very last thing in the world I wanted her to feel was miserable when she told me she loved me.

I was finally able to move. Inside, I was jumping and leaping and running around in circles. On the outside, I struggled to keep calm so I didn't freak her the fuck out with the depth of my devotion to her. I stood up, somehow managing to get my weak and wobbling legs to support me. My heart was throbbing so hard it was a wonder she couldn't hear it and that it didn't knock me off balance as I took an experimental step toward her.

"Edward, really, sorry. I don't know – "

No. No, she wasn't allowed to be sorry. She couldn't be sorry she loved me. I loved her so much, so very much and…And I hadn't the guts to tell her. I'd never expected she'd fall in love with me so soon. I'd planned a slow and careful siege on her, letting her see how I felt and hoping at that point she would realize she loved me, too. But Bella –my Bella – always did the unexpected, and I'd never been happier for it than I was at that moment.

"Bella." My voice was steadier and much calmer that I expected. "If you don't stop apologizing for telling me you love me, I'll kick your ass."

I wanted to kick my own ass. What the hell was that? Who the hell said shit like that? Me, that's who. _Dumbass_.

"Oh." The word was barely a breath as it left her. "Well. I don't…I mean, I, well, I…_Uhmpf_!"

I did the only thing I was capable of at that moment – I kissed her. I kissed her, putting everything I had, everything I felt, into the press of lips and slide of tongue. I gave her sharp, shallow licks and deep, desperate plunges. I showed her everything I had, laid myself bare in sensation before her, but I knew I had to do better than that. I forced myself to stop the physical, which was so much easier for me, and give her something I found much more difficult – the words. I took her beautiful face in my hands and searched her wide brown eyes, willing her to see just how much I meant what I was about to tell her.

"I love you, too, Bella." I meant it with every frantic beat of my heart. I'd mean it for as long as my heart continued to beat.

She frowned, a stubborn look I recognized well crossing her expressive face. She thought I was trying to spare her feelings, telling her what I thought she expected to hear. She couldn't be further from the truth. She was just so much braver than I was, so much more aware. I wanted to be more like her. She started to protest, but I wouldn't allow it.

"Shut the hell up, Swan, and listen. I love you. I have since you opened your door that first night I came to pick you up for our ice cream date." That was the plain fucking truth. I'd taken one look at her smiling face, so obviously happy to see me, and I'd fallen, surely and completely. "You were all blushing and sweet and nervous, and I just fucking fell over my heart at the sight of you. It was lying there, right there in front of you, and you had no idea."

"Edward." Wonder, pleasure, and shock filled her face, but she believed me. The relief I felt was immense. I hadn't completely fucked this up.

Bella loved me.

"I didn't say anything then because I was afraid you'd freak out on me. You have a tendency to do that before you have time to think everything through," I told her quickly, wanting to convince her further, wanting her to understand. I knew her well enough to realize she didn't deal well with strong, blatant sentiment, and knew she'd had a hard time that night of our first date with all the confessions and emotions flying back and forth between us. "I figured I'd give you some time, and I hoped eventually you'd feel something for me, too. Work the Cullen charm, you know, start letting you see how I felt. But you… You never do what I expect. I never know what the hell you're thinking."

She worried her lip between her teeth, and I wanted to bite it myself. Her face was hopeful and bright with joy. "But you love me?"

"I do." My voice was gruff with sincerity.

"Could you maybe say it again?" she asked softly. She couldn't meet my eyes, instead staring somewhere below my chin.

I lowered my head and caught her mouth. I nudged with soft, tender, and loving strokes. "I love you, Bella."

She wrapped her arms around me, under my jacket, and I felt the air leave her lungs in a relieved, shuddering sigh.

I held her tight. "Okay?"

"Yeah." She looked up at me, and there was no trace of her earlier uncertainty or misery, just happiness. She gave a much-needed laugh. "Okay. Really okay."

She shook her head with another chuckle.

"What?" I asked in amused curiosity.

"It's just that when I let myself imagine this moment, someone I love saying they love me, too, I never expected it to come between a threat to kick my ass and a warning to shut the hell up."

Shit. Yeah. I was an idiot. I loved this girl more than anything in the world, but that was most likely the world's worst declaration ever. "I guess it's my turn to apologize. Not every girl's most romantic fantasy. I'm sorry, Bella."

"No, no." She smiled up at me, her expression content. "It's just so…us. You have a romantic heart, Edward, but a practical head. It's one of the things I love about you."

"That's a good thing, I guess." At least she loved me. If she could forget my verbal clumsiness, I wasn't about to protest.

"Very good." Her fingers worked their way into the waistband of my jeans, and I shuddered. I put my hands on her waist and kissed her. I wanted to keep on kissing her. I had started backing toward the car when headlights pierced the thick fog, heading straight for us.

We broke apart and exchanged an amused look. "Jasper."

The car pulled to a stop next to mine and the back door swung open. Alice's voice came to us through the fog. "Get your lips off of the girl, Cullen, and get in the car."

"Creepy," Bella muttered with a shiver, and I kissed her lips with a short laugh.

When I look back on that night, I barely remember the hockey game. I don't remember the movie we saw or what we talked about with Jasper and Alice. What I do remember, in vivid and perfect detail, is dancing in the fog with Bella to Sweet's _Little Willy_ and the first time she told me she loved me.


	19. Chapter 19: Hat Trick

**Still SM, still not me.**

**SunKing and Sarahsumbrella - my friends, my betas. Thank you.**

**This one is for She-rah, good friend and hockey wife, too. Thanks for the chapter title, darlin'.**

**We have left the family friendly portion of this story behind. Fair warning.**

**ffnet review replies are still not functioning - so sorry for not getting back to y'all yet. Figured you wouldn't want me to wait chapters on ffnet, because we could be here for a while...**

* * *

**CHAPTER 19: Hat Trick**

Something poking me in the back woke me up the next morning. I grunted in irritation, sweeping my hand under the sheet, and found something smooth and hard with sharp points. Frowning, I pulled it out from under my shoulder and stared in surprise at the sparkling hair comb in my hand. I glanced nervously around my empty bedroom as if my mom or dad were going to suddenly make an appearance and call me on having had my girlfriend on my bed the previous night. At that thought I did flush guiltily, remembering the way she'd gone down on me before I'd had to take her home after the movie. I groaned, my morning erection stirring with interest at the memory. Bella insisted she liked doing that, and her frequent and enthusiastic attentions in that regard had convinced me despite my initial doubts. I had mentioned I was a lucky bastard, right? One of the luckiest.

I turned the comb over in my hand, running my fingers over the blue and silver gems and remembering how they looked the night before shining in Bella's long, dark hair. I smiled, turning over and sliding my hand under the pillow to see if the matching comb was there. I found it tucked into a fold of the comforter and rolled over to put both in my nightstand drawer just in case my mom did decide to come up to my room. I collapsed on my back and stretched, doing a quick and automatic inventory of my body. I felt the pleasant ache in my muscles from the exertion of the game the night before, but nothing that would need attention. It hadn't been overly physical, and I felt good. I glanced at the clock, noting that I had plenty of time to do some stretches and maybe go for a short jog before I started getting nervous about Bella coming over.

Of course I had a plan for the afternoon. I'd been giving it quite a bit of thought ever since I found out my mom and dad were going to be gone overnight. I'd come up with a great seduction plan. I'd be calm and smooth, totally in control of the situation and myself. I was the one with more experience. I was the one who needed to be careful, confident, and able to take care of her. I wanted the first time we made love to be something she'd remember forever – a memory that would be worth remembering forever. It was a heavy responsibility and one I took with grave seriousness. But I also wanted it to be fun for both of us. I loved her, and she loved me. I wanted to show her how much and in every way possible. I had planned a terrific meal, some time to relax, talk, and then move into the Jacuzzi for more relaxing and some kissing. Since we'd be in bathing suits, probably a lot of touching. After that, I'd take her upstairs to my bedroom, lay her back on my bed with her hair spread around her, and make love to her.

My entire body twitched at the thought, and that morning erection sprang into full and painful prominence. I loved her more than anything, but holy fuck did I want her. I wanted to worship her with my hands, my mouth, and my body. I wanted to show her how strongly she affected me, and let her know the strength of that feeling wasn't about to fade. I knew we were both ready, and I couldn't wait to share that incredible pleasure with her. Everything I felt for her was so intense, so much more than anything I'd experienced before, and I knew sharing our bodies would be mind-blowing. I groaned, reaching down to idly rub myself, knowing that if I wanted to take things slowly, if I wanted to take care of her properly, I'd have to do something about my rock-hard erection. I sighed and rolled once again to my nightstand drawer, reaching in for a bottle of lube. A grin twitched at my lips. Oh, the things I did for that girl…

I decided to forgo the jog and instead did an abbreviated workout with the equipment on Emmett's floor. I avoided my parents as much as I could, not wanting them to see my nervousness and take a guess as to why I was in that state. After I showered, I picked up my acoustic guitar and messed around with a melody I'd had in my head for a while, one I'd played for Bella the night before on the piano. Finally, it was time for them to leave, and I wandered downstairs to say good-bye. I watched them back out of the driveway in Dad's Mercedes and couldn't stop myself from looking up and down the street for Bella's truck, even though I knew I'd hear it long before I saw it. I was halfway to the kitchen with the intention of getting a drink when I heard the familiar rumble.

I peered through the window as she got out and smiled as she walked up to the door. I opened it approximately one second after she rang the bell.

"Hey." I was ridiculously excited to see her.

"Hey." Her smile grew as I took her hand and pulled her inside. I mirrored her grin at my mini-fantasy of yanking her through the door, tossing our clothes all over the foyer, and having a go at her on the stairs. Maybe another time.

I kissed her when she stepped close, and she tasted so good, felt so warm and so right, that I came back for another, and then another. I could have stood in the foyer and kissed her all afternoon. There was no rush – no parents, no plans other than just to be together, so I indulged and kissed her some more.

She must have read my mind, because she dropped back to her feet and asked in a breathless, well-kissed voice, "Parents?"

"Gone," I said with satisfaction. "I've got you all to myself for the next twelve hours."

"I hope you have plans for all that time." She took her jacket off, and I was reminded of the previous mental image I had of ripping and tossing clothes from both our bodies.

"As a matter of fact I do." And just like that, all of my carefully thought out plans went out the window. I realized I didn't need a plan to get Bella into my bed. I just wanted her there. I knew once we started touching, everything would go naturally. My fingers itched, both with the need to feel her and with the memory of the chords I'd played earlier on the guitar with her in mind. I decided to indulge in one and anticipate the other.

"I wrote something for you," I told her, taking her hand and leading her up the stairs to the music room.

"You did?" She looked surprised and pleased. "What, like a poem?"

"No, definitely not a poem." I snorted at the image of me lying at her feet reciting dirty limericks, and her red-faced with hysterical laughter. I just hoped she wouldn't laugh when she heard the song.

I sat her on the piano bench and picked up my guitar. I ran my fingers over the strings, searching her face for any sign of boredom or derision, but she just looked curious and happy. Good. I started playing the melody, simple at first, but it grew more complicated and urgent. She shifted on the bench, and I glanced up without raising my head, taking a quick glance at her enraptured face. A quick flash of recognition flitted across her features before she shut her eyes and smiled, swaying slightly to the rhythm. The last chord swelled before settling into satisfied notes that faded and hung in the air between us.

"So, do you like it?" I asked when she didn't open her eyes or say anything for long seconds after I'd finished.

Her lashes fluttered, and her brown eyes met mine, shining with pleasure. "That was…that was beautiful, Edward. Is it the same song you played last night?"

"Um, yeah. It's something I've been working on. It reminds me of you. When I got back last night after dropping you off, it just all came together." And then I'd run through it again that morning, with her still on my mind, and was just as pleased with it as I had been then.

She got up and came to me after I'd set the guitar back on its stand, reaching up to slide her hands behind my neck and stroke through the ends of my hair. She whispered into my ear how much she liked the song, her breath warm and tickling the sensitive skin there. I held her, taking a deep breath, relieved that she approved and just really glad to have her with me and in my arms. I took her hand and walked through the bathroom, pausing at the sink to wash up as she continued into my bedroom.

"Did you find my hair combs?" she asked as I dried my hands. "I think I left them over here last night. Somebody pulled them out of my hair."

"Huh, really?" Gee, I wonder who that could have been?

"It's just that they're the only thing Charlie ever gave me from my grandma." She didn't have much family, so I knew the combs must mean a lot to her. I felt bad for joking about her not having them – she was probably worried.

"Yeah. They're in the drawer by my bed." I checked my hair and the state of the stubble on my cheeks. I'd shaved earlier that morning, so I was still fairly smooth. The hair was a lost cause, as usual.

I heard her moving around my bed and froze in horror as I realized where I'd shoved the combs when I'd woken up that morning, what I'd been thinking, and what I'd done immediately afterward. And what else was in that drawer. I stared in open-mouthed shock at my reflection in the mirror, completely horrified at what I had just set in motion. _Oh, holy fuck_.

The frantic signals from my brain finally reached my body. "Um, Bella, wait!"

I flew into the bedroom, noting with dismay that those few seconds had cost me. She was sitting on the side of my bed, staring down into the partially opened drawer of my nightstand. I couldn't decipher the look on her face as she just stared, one hand moving toward the drawer slowly before dropping limply to rest on the bed next to her. I reached out to her, but let my hand fall back to my side. What could I say? What could anyone say in that situation? I was in an agony of mortification and terror.

"Bella." Oh, my God. I wanted to shout in fear and frustration. What would she think? What could she possibly think after seeing the drawer next to my bed filled with, um, intimate items? A _lot_ of intimate items. "I'm sorry, I didn't think…shit."

"Wow," she whispered.

She was staring into the drawer. It was filled with an assortment of condoms in different styles, colors, and types. Lubes, too, in a variety of flavors, consistency, and scent. What could I say? I liked a good lube. And erotica – magazines, books, my favorite black and white issues filled with images of titillating poses and dress, some graphic, some not, all extremely sexy. And the other items, vibrators – still in the box, thank you very much – rings, ties, all sorts of highly private and embarrassing items. Some of the things I'd never even used before, but had procured because they looked interesting and I liked to fantasize. But at that moment, I wanted to melt away and just _die_.

"Bella," I groaned, hesitantly reaching out to brush my fingers down her arm. She allowed my touch and didn't seem horrified and disgusted by it. Some of the tension left my body, but there was still plenty left. "I'm so sorry. This is beyond…um…what can I say? Are you all right?"

She didn't speak or even look at me, just continued to stare at the contents of that drawer. I dropped to my knees on the floor beside the bed, trying to get her to look at me so I could see if I'd ruined everything. There were some things a girl didn't really need to know at that point in our relationship. Maybe after we'd been together for a few years, but not before we'd actually made love, before I could ease her into what she was comfortable with, sexually speaking. I was completely freaking out but trying to hold it together. "Say something, for Chrissake. Bella…"

She finally moved, turning her head to look into my eyes. I still couldn't read her expression. My heart thundered in my chest, and I could feel my limbs trembling in reaction. She slowly reached up, and instead of slapping me like I expected, she gripped my face in her hands.

"I am so fucking turned on right now," she whispered, and I jerked in complete and utter shock. "You have no idea."

She was…_what_? She was turned on? By the stuff in the drawer? I couldn't… I didn't… I hadn't heard her right. But she just stared into my eyes, her pupils blown and dilated with desire, and I knew I had. She was turned on. By me. By my little drawer of perversions. I really was the luckiest fucking bastard on the face of the earth. There could no longer be any doubt of that. I reached out and caught the back of her neck in my hand, pulling her to me, settling my mouth determinedly over hers. My tongue found hers and I lost it, plunging into her mouth with a loud groan, fighting to take more when her hands shot through my hair, pulling and tugging in response to my aggression. Holy fucking hell, I was done for. I'd always tried to keep my excesses controlled, keep myself collected and aware at all times. I knew I had control issues, but at that moment, I didn't give a fuck. I'd found my outlet, and we both rejoiced in the discovery.

Bella met me stroke for stroke, rising up on her knees on the bed when I got to my feet. I never took my lips from hers or my tongue out of her mouth as I grabbed her hair, holding her still so I could plunge and plunder, my other hand going to the buttons at her throat. I wanted skin, I wanted Bella, and I wanted it right that instant. She tried to yank my shirt off, but I wouldn't release her mouth. I tightened my fists in her hair warningly when she tried to move away so she could pull it over my head. I wasn't done kissing her.

It was many long moments before the desire to remove her shirt grew greater than my desire for her mouth. I eased back, breathing heavily, feeling frantic and driven and overwhelmed. I grabbed a fistful of the shirt at her back, pulling it down part way so that her arms were trapped in the material. A shot of pure unadulterated fire shot into my groin at the sight of her, chest outthrust, eyes flaming with want, skin flushed and velvet soft under my hands and lips. I eased her back on the bed and covered the tip of her right breast with my mouth. There were no preliminaries. I opened and took her in, sucking, laving, surrounding her in heat and wet. She let out a startled, pleased cry, arching against me to push farther into my mouth.

"Edward."

I shuddered at the sound of my name on her lips in that breathless, desperate tone. I wanted to hear it again and again.

"Edward." _Oh my fucking God, yes_. "I have to – Yes! Oh, like that…just like that… I have to touch you…"

She was whimpering and writhing, just as caught up as I was. She managed to pull her arms free of her shirt and wrapped them around me, urging me closer, wanting more. I wanted more, too, and reached out to expose her breast, tucking the filmy material of her bra underneath to hold it in perfect position for my mouth. I sucked and stroked, alternately brushing my lips and nipping with my teeth until she was wild underneath me, gasping in sharp, harsh pants. Her fingers sank into the muscle of my shoulder, bringing me back to myself. I was overwhelming her, taking her too far, too fast, and I needed to slow down. I clenched my jaw and drew in great, ragged breaths, gentling my touch and the strokes of my mouth, running my nose and cheek along the softly mounded flesh. It took every scrap of my will to pull myself back from the edge, and I knew if we kept going, it was going to be harder and harder to do.

I forced my head up to meet her eyes. I wanted her to know I'd do anything for her – even stop. "Bella. I want you, all of you, right now. If you…if you don't want this, you have to tell me now."

I didn't want to – every cell in my body was screaming for me to move, to continue, to never stop, but I would. I'd stop. If she asked me, I'd do anything. I'd hold her, love her, and wait until she was ready. It might come close to killing me, but I'd do it for her.

"Edward." Her hand trailed from my neck to my stomach, searching, seeking, and appreciating. I shuddered in reaction, my nerves riding a desperate edge, and then leapt out of my skin when her hand closed firmly over my erection. "If you stop now, I will so fucking hurt you."

Oh, how I loved this girl. I wanted to shout with relief, but kissed her instead. She pulled open the buttons on my jeans, freeing me and giving me some room to breathe. A sound of protest left her when I lifted my hips so she couldn't grab me again. As much as I'd love it, if I had her hand on my dick with only the thin cotton of my briefs between us, I'd come instantly. I brought my hand up and opened her bra, running my fingers over the material and her skin, enjoying the two different but equally smooth sensations. The bright blue material looked amazing next to her paleness, but it had to go. She made that needy and wonderful sound as I bent over her, giving my full attention to the soft flesh of her breasts, the firm nipples, the sweet taste of her skin in those intimate places.

My erection was an iron-hot ache, and I was getting close to the end of my control. I wanted to be inside her so badly I was shaking with it, but I wanted to give her pleasure first. I didn't know how she'd react to me being inside her. I didn't know if I could avoid hurting her, but everything I'd done up to that point was to bring her pleasure and to avoid as much of her discomfort as I could. The rusty smear I'd discovered on my hand the first time I'd fingered her to an orgasm assured me I wouldn't have to worry about breaking any barriers, but it wouldn't eliminate the pain of having me inside her body. I moaned and shuddered, breaking out into a sweat at the thought. My fingers went to the waistband of her jeans, my mouth following in their wake. I reveled in the feel of her downy smooth skin, murmuring how much I loved her into her flesh.

I glanced down and watched my hand disappear into the waistband of the blue underwear exposed by the gaping zipper of her jeans. She was hot, damp, and so, so soft. I had to see her. I had to taste her. I pushed denim and silk over her hips and down her legs, thankful she already gotten rid of her shoes and socks. The long, lean, pale length of her thighs flashed as she moved beneath me. I sat back on my heels and stared, unable to speak. She was so pretty.

"Edward."

There it was – my name spoken in that voice that drove me wild. I bent over her, bracing my hands on either side of her slender body, and kissed her. I lowered my body over hers, covering her, feeling the soft give and firm acceptance of skin, muscle, bone, and Bella. She ran her hands up and down my arms as I made sure her breasts were well tended to, and then her stomach, bellybutton, and gently rounded hipbones. She flexed and rolled, and that beautiful place between her legs was right where I wanted it – under my mouth. I purposefully ran my tongue along the smooth, damp part in her flesh, and she twitched as if I'd scalded her.

"Edward!" She grabbed my hair over my ears and yanked as I repeated the searching lick. "Please. I want you inside me, now."

"Shh." I wanted to be inside her, too, especially after hearing her words, the aching need in her voice. Her _please_ drove me to the brink, but I made an attempt to calm us both as I breathed her in and then blew a stream of cool air across the flesh moistened by my tongue and her arousal. "Shh."

She jerked again at the sensation. The noises she made, the unconscious writhing of her body, her hands clutching my head, pulling me closer and trying to push me away at the same time – all her responses goaded me into giving her more. Her breath caught, and when I dimly realized I hadn't heard her exhale in a while I glanced up her body. The sight of her stomach and breasts, her head thrown back and grinding into the pillow, made my blood surge violently in my veins. After a second she heaved air into her lungs, her eyes flying wide when she realized I had stopped and meeting my gaze in disbelief. She was right on the edge of a spectacular orgasm.

Her name left my lips in awe, and she repeated mine in desperation.

"Bella," I tried again. "I wanted this to be special. I wanted…our first time…" I couldn't fully articulate how I felt, not with the taste of her on my tongue and her naked body spread out before me.

"Edward." She arched her head back and cleared her throat before looking at me again. "Edward, I know. But I can't imagine wanting you more than I do right now. Please. I love you."

Hearing that _please_ again snapped the tether on my control. I tried to marshal it, wanting to be gentle, knowing I needed to be with her untried body, mind, and soul. I set my mouth to her in earnest, eliciting more pleas and desperate cries of my name until she was shuddering, shaking, and pulling my hair so hard I groaned with the sting.

She was wet and mindless, and I knew it was time. Neither one of us could put up with the delicious torture another minute. Her thighs wrapped around mine as I knelt between her legs, reaching over to the open nightstand drawer and grabbing the first condom my fingers encountered. I ripped it open and tossed the wrapper on the floor, placing it over the tip of my erection and sheathing myself. That slight friction was almost too much, and I closed my eyes, determined I wouldn't come before she did. I felt her moving restlessly and looked down, my fingers shaking as they slipped between her legs, parting her, feeling the dampness and pushing in to the first knuckle to make sure she was wet enough to take me. I placed myself at the entrance to her body, feeling the scorching heat and the soft clasp. Pleasure rolled through me so sharply it stung with a painful intensity. I wanted to plunge, so I forced myself to go slow, feeling myself sink into her, feeling her close and enfold me in her flesh. The sensation was so sublime I wanted to shout, but I stared into her wide eyes as she took me in by slow, careful degrees, jerking underneath me at the slow penetration. Pleasure shot down my spine, exploded in my groin, and I almost came.

"God, Bella, easy, easy baby," I moaned nonsensically, fighting my orgasm, desperate to hold on and last more than twenty seconds. I wanted to thrust so badly, feel the friction, the tightness of her surrounding me. It was agony to go slow, but I couldn't hurt her. I just couldn't. "You feel so good. I want to… I can't…"

"Yes." She tilted her pelvis and I slid in more quickly than I had intended. I locked my muscles, giving her time to adjust, but _oh my God I needed to thrust so bad it was killing me_. She arched, tightening around me, and I lost my mind.

"Bella. Don't move! Ah, Bella…"

I tried, I really did, but I had to push, sink, thrust into her like I needed to take a breath. I could only hold back for so long. I kept my eyes on her face, watching carefully for any signs of pain, but after a few minutes of a slight frown and bite of her lower lip, her face took on that particular tension that meant she was winding up, looking for release, fighting her own rise of need and desire. She ran her hands over me, her head rolling back in to the pillow, and I kissed the throbbing vein in her exposed throat.

I'd never felt anything like that in my life. My body was one bright fusion of unbelievable pleasure, but I could feel every individual sensation at the same time. I could feel her much smaller body under me, feel where it clung to mine, gripping me tightly, clamping and fluttering around my erection. I could feel her chest rise and fall with her rapid breaths, the bite of her fingernails into my biceps, the press and tangle of her legs as she fought to get closer, seeking more sensation from where we were joined. I bent my head and slid my tongue into her mouth as I slid into her body, out, in, over and over. I knew I'd reached the end of what I could handle. I stared into her eyes, loving her, letting her see everything I felt as I slipped a hand between us, finding the slick skin just above where I entered her and rubbing gently. She gasped and pushed harder against me, thrashing and whimpering. She was close. I could tell by the way she contracted around my shaft.

"I need you to come for me, if you can." I would have cringed at the words if I could manage the distraction from the roaring bliss coursing through my body. But damn it, I did need her to come and fucking soon – if I could get her to come at all. "I'm not gonna last… I have to…"

I made it a few more strokes, a few more rapid flicks and gentle presses with my fingers. She arched and cried out, shivering beneath me, and that was all I could take. I came in wrenching, jerking waves, my orgasm pouring out of my body. She held me and demanded more, until I was a whimpering, shuddering puddle in her arms. I knew it wasn't as intense an orgasm as I'd given her in the past with my mouth or my fingers, but I was pathetically grateful I'd at least lasted long enough to give her some pleasure in the act – our first time making love.

She eventually stirred, lazily running her hand along the rise of muscle indenting my spine to the curve of my butt. I sighed, a long, drawn out groan, willing my limbs to work. I couldn't remember ever feeling so drained, relaxed, and buzzing with endorphins before. I unstuck our bodies, slipping to the edge of the bed where I grabbed some tissues and disposed of the condom, wiping myself off as best I could. The one thing I didn't have in the drawer was a towel, and I made a mental note to put one in later. My skin was damp, and I slid my arm under her, warming us both with the renewed contact. I stroked her, the smooth, warm resilient feel of her under my hands soothing and right.

"Bella." My voice was rough from panting and gasping, and I coughed slightly to clear my throat. I got a little distracted by her mouth, reaching out to touch the soft, plump curve before making sure she was somewhat awake and aware. I wanted her to know how much she meant to me, how important her trust and love was to me. "I love you – I just want you to know. I love you, Bella."

A smile trembled on her lips as she pressed them to mine. "I know. I love you, Edward. I never imagined that anything could be so amazing. You felt so good."

I hadn't realized I needed the affirmation, but I did. The experience had been so cataclysmic for me that I didn't want to believe it had been any different for her. I was relieved to hear she'd shared the fierce passion and pleasure with me.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" It had to hurt, the first time she'd ever made love, had a guy inside her. I knew my biology – and anatomy.

But she shook her head, smiling at me. "God, no. I can't wait to do it again."

I didn't entirely believe her, but I hoped I'd been able to give her enough pleasure that any discomfort could be forgotten. And I couldn't wait to do it again, either.

We talked languidly, having an interesting discussion about the items in my bedside drawer and other fun little fantasies we had as well. She expressed her fascination with superheroes, and I laughed until she distracted me by reaching between my legs, doing some stroking of her own.

"Maybe it's just the tights," she mused while I squirmed. "I kind of have a thing for Robin Hood, too. And you can't tell me those boots Wonder Woman wears don't star in a couple of your fantasies. I saw your porn stash."

"It's really the wrist cuffs," I managed to tease before her fingertips circled sensitive flesh, and I strangled on a gasp. "And the big hair."

"Mm." She ducked down, kissing my stomach and running her tongue around my belly button before scooting even further down, parting her lips and blowing warm, humid breath across the head of my dick. "Spidey-tights for me all the way."

_Spidey what?_ Her mouth closed over me, all hot, wet heat and soft, raspy licks. I arched and moaned. "Oh, God. Bella…"

I felt her lips stretch into a smile, and then all I felt were her lips. And teeth. And tongue. She sucked and dragged her mouth over me, over and over me, and I fisted the sheets in my hands as I bucked and gasped.

"No," I groaned, and her head came up in surprise. I managed to open my eyes and meet her questioning gaze. I felt my face heat as I sat up and pulled her into my lap. "I mean, I want to…but I'm not sure if you can." I shook my head. "I'm being selfish."

"Want to what? Edward, what?"

I shook my head and met her eyes. "I want to be inside you again. But you're too sore." And I was terribly selfish, because I wanted her to tell me she wasn't, that she wanted me inside her again, too.

She slid off my lap, and I ferociously beat down my disappointment, knowing while my dick might want her, the rest of me shrank at the thought of hurting her. I watched as she leaned over and stuck a hand in the still open nightstand drawer, pulling out a foil square and one of the bottles of lube.

"Bella," I started in protest, but somehow my hand was on her breast and she was back in my lap, sitting on my knees as she tore the packet and examined the rolled condom curiously. She arched a brow in silent question, and I showed her how to place it over the head of my happily hard dick and roll it down, covering me, until it rested snugly against the base. Her hand cupped my balls, and then I felt the cold sensation of the lube even through the rubber.

"Go slow," she told me, wiping the excess between her legs. My head almost exploded off my shoulders.

I gripped her hips as she rose over me, never taking her eyes from mine, and lowered herself so, so slowly. I let her set the pace of penetration and the gentle rock of her hips once I was fully inside her. I'd just had the most intense climax of my life, but I was hard and ready. The feel of her, the sway and stroke as I gently nudged inside her, watching her face carefully for any sign of discomfort, brought me back to the edge much more quickly than I thought possible. I took her in my arms, pressing her to my chest as I shook and pulsed inside her. The release was so intense, I felt like begging and thanking her. She hadn't come, but she looked supremely satisfied as she smiled at me, lifting up on her knees until I slipped out of her, and she collapsed back onto the pillows. She snuggled against my side as I caught my breath.

"Okay?" I managed. I knew I had to get rid of the condom, but my body rebelled against the thought of moving away from her.

"Perfect," she assured me.

After I had rested, I soothed her with my mouth, licking and lapping at the smooth, silky folds, the ridges of flesh, and the soft, sweet entrance to her body. I teased her over-stimulated flesh until she cried and pleaded for release. She came in strong undulations and gasps, and I'd never seen anything so beautiful. We finally slept for a while, sore and exhausted, and when we woke, I knew we'd earned a good soaking in the hot tub. I pulled on a pair of shorts while she tugged my shirt over her head, and we made our way downstairs. The refrigerator distracted us, and we ate like we hadn't had food in weeks before making our way to the back deck and the six-person Jacuzzi. She lay with her back against my chest as we soaked in the hot, bubbling water, letting it relax us even more and soothe away our aches. She asked when my parents would be back, which reminded me to warn her my brother was coming home with them the next day.

"Is he really that bad?" she asked curiously.

"Worse," I told her with a grin. "Emmett is a force of…well, a force of something. He's probably the smartest person I know, but he's just…Emmett. I hope you don't end up running from the house screaming." She didn't believe me, but she'd never experienced Emmett. "Bella. Just remember to not take anything he says seriously." A thought struck me. "And if says he has something for you, whatever you do, don't take it. Come get me right away." I couldn't begin to imagine the stunts he'd try to pull when he realized he had a new victim.

"Really?"

"You have no idea." She really didn't. "Promise me."

"Okay. If it makes you feel better."

She didn't believe me, but she'd learn. "He and Rose will be here for a few nights before going back to school. He's got to get back for practice before the big game. You're coming over tomorrow, right?"

She told me she was, not only for dinner the next night to meet Emmett and Rose, but for Christmas, as well. Her dad was stopping by to spend some time with us before heading to La Push to have Christmas dinner with his friends.

We made our way back upstairs eventually, lying under my comforter, touching, stroking, probing, groping, just because we could and everything was so new. There were so many places to explore. We made love again despite how sore we both were, but we just couldn't help ourselves. We were young, we were in love, and we had the house to ourselves. Of course we were going to fuck until we were too tired and exhausted to move, and eventually we were. I set the alarm on my cell phone and placed it on the nightstand to wake us up in time to get her home before her curfew. We fell into a sated and contented sleep, wrapped tightly around each other.


	20. Chapter 20: Gong Show

**SM, not me.**

**Thanks to Sarahsumbrella and SunKing for their beta eyes.**

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**CHAPTER 20: Gong Show**

I felt amazing when I woke up the next morning, a little sore, but in a good way. I was relaxed, happy and practically thrumming with it. I got out of bed, went for a jog, and then ate. And ate. And ate. I was ravenous. There was a low-grade hum throughout my entire body, even after my workout, and I realized it wouldn't go away until I saw Bella again. Just seeing her truck in the driveway brought a smile to my face.

I'd driven her home the night before in my car. When the alarm on my cell phone had gone off a half hour before midnight, she hadn't even stirred. She was completely out, and I couldn't deny the thrill that had filled me knowing it was from our marathon lovemaking. She was limp and boneless, still half asleep after I'd gotten up and dressed, and there was no way she could drive herself. I'd carried her on my back down the stairs and drove her to her house, tucking her into bed and making it safely out of the door before her dad came home.

I barely resisted the urge to go out and just sit in her truck to be surrounded by her scent. That was a little too creepy, even for me, but I figured there was no harm in thinking about doing it as long as I didn't actually follow through. I was so glad when she called later that morning, thrilling to the sound of her voice. I was over my ass in love, and it was fantastic. I couldn't wait to go pick her up for dinner with my family, although I was a little leery of her first encounter with Emmett. I'd had her good and proper, and she couldn't run from me even if my older brother freaked her out.

A short time later, Dad's car pulled up in the driveway. I went outside to help with Emmett's luggage or whatever else they had, and immediately got tackled for my efforts. Emmett came blasting out of the car when he saw me, charging and ramming his head into my stomach before grabbing my waist, carrying me back a few yards, and slamming me into the ground. I blinked up into the sky, waiting for the breath to rush back into my lungs.

"Fucking hell, Emmett," I gasped when it finally did, slapping at his head. It didn't help my breathing situation to have two hundred and fifty pounds of quarterback sitting on my chest.

"Hey, little bro." He grabbed my head, rubbing it in the grass. I punched him in the kidney and was gratified to hear him grunt before he rolled off me. I tried to knee him in the 'nads, but he was wise to that old trick and tucked his legs, blocking me as he rolled away. Mom stepped over us, followed by Dad.

"Don't forget your stuff in the trunk," Dad said as they disappeared inside.

"You're an asshole," I wheezed, managing to make it to my hands and knees as I tried to catch my breath.

He cackled and got to his feet, trying to shove my face back into the ground as he passed. I lunged for his ankles but missed, grabbing his shoe and pulling it off before he staggered away. I threw it at him, and even though I wasn't the superstar quarterback in the family, it hit him square in the back of the head.

"Ow!" He rubbed the spot, turning to scowl at me as I got to my feet and jogged over to him. He grabbed me in a friendly headlock and rubbed his fist in my hair, giving me a friction burn on my scalp before reaching into the trunk and pulling out a duffel bag. He threw it at me, and I caught it with a laugh. It was nothing compared to the equipment bag I lugged around practically every day.

Dad made lunch, and I found I was starving again. After we ate, Emmett and I went downstairs to play video games and catch up with each other. He got a little pissy when I kicked his ass in Madden Football, and was pouting when I went to get ready to pick up Bella. He perked up at the news.

"Your girlfriend? Really?" He looked craftily pleased. "I must know more."

"Oh, no," I told him, grabbing my keys. He was trailing me around the kitchen, and I hoped he wouldn't follow me to the car. "You don't need to know anything. Just act like a human being, okay?"

"This is the girl you called me about last month, isn't it? Isn't it?" He was grinning. "You finally got the balls to ask her out? Or did you just trick her into it?" He regarded me suspiciously. "She knows she's your girlfriend, right?"

I rolled my eyes, but memories of the previous day flashed through my mind. There was no way she could have missed _that_, I thought. Emmett watched with glee as my cheeks turned red and rubbed his hands together. "You've got a _girlfriend_! Oh, Rosalie is going to be so thrilled. Maybe we can double date." He clutched his hands under his chin and fluttered his eyelids. "Maybe we can all play cards together. Maybe we can – "

"Fuck off." I hid my smile as I tried to make it out the door without him following. We got into a wrestling match when I tried to shut it on him.

"Really?" He frowned, and I slammed the door in his face. I had almost made it to my car in the garage when he pulled it back open. "I don't know about that kinky stuff, but maybe Rose is into it. I mean, if your girl is, I'm willing to give it a shot."

"Shut up." I snorted with laughter at his stupid antics. I tried not to let him see, as it would only encourage him. He gave me a grin and a cheesy thumbs up as I backed out of the driveway. I just hoped Bella was prepared for the force of nature that was my older brother.

I picked her up at her house, going up to the door to say hello to Chief Swan. It was a little difficult to look him in the eye, especially when I was wondering what color underwear his daughter had on and how long it would take me to get her out of them.

"So," I began once we were in the car. I couldn't keep the smile off my face as I reached out and rubbed her knee. I had to touch her. "How are you feeling today?"

She blushed like crazy. I'm sure she was thinking about the same things I was.

"Um, well…pretty damn good, actually." She grinned, and I teasingly ran my hand up her thigh, tracing the seam of her jeans to where they met between her legs. She jumped and unconsciously rubbed against my hand. "Jeez, Edward!"

Jeez was right. I yanked my hand back and put it on the steering wheel. I wanted her _again, still, more,_ but we had to spend the day ahead of us with my family. No alone time in sight.

I pulled into the driveway and stopped next to her truck, figuring I'd put the car away later. Turning, I slid my hand behind her neck and let the softness of her hair fall over it. I needed to give her a proper greeting while we still had a small amount of privacy. I'd have to be quicker than I wanted, because I was pretty sure Emmett would be watching from the front window, looking for any excuse to embarrass the hell out of me. I wasn't fond of the thought of being quick when I kissed Bella, especially when I wanted to sink into her – in every way.

I had to stop long before I wanted to. She fell against me, her eyes still shut, lips parted, and breathing heavily. My heart swelled, and so did my dick.

"Love you," I told her, wishing we weren't in the car with the console between us.

"Love you." She smiled, opening her eyes to just stare at me.

We had to get out of the car. I helped her out and walked with her to the front door, feeling a little apprehensive. I knew I'd better try to give her another heads up, but it was almost impossible to be prepared for Emmett.

"Okay. This is your last warning. You are about to be embarrassed, harassed, poked, prodded, annoyed, pissed, amused, and probably physically tossed around. And that's just before dinner."

"It's okay, Edward." She laughed. She had no idea.

"No, it really isn't. But, I warned you. And I'll say it now, in case I'm incapable later." I took a deep breath to prepare myself for the clusterfuck that was about to ensue. "I'm really, really sorry."

I opened the door and closed my eyes in dismay, but snapped them open just as quickly. No point in giving him an advantage. Emmett stood waiting for us just inside the door.

"Little brother!" he exclaimed, but his eyes were focused with fascinated interest on Bella.

She looked like a deer caught in the headlights, and I grimaced in sympathy. Emmett had that effect on a lot of people when they first met him. He was pretty imposing – tall, wide, just kind of just huge all over. He always seemed to be smiling, like he knew a joke he was just dying to tell, usually because he was about to play one on some unsuspecting sucker. I introduced them, narrowing my eyes at Emmett warningly for all the good it would do.

"Bella!" He leapt, wrapping his arms around her and lifting her off her feet so they dangled against his knees, twirling her around like they were long lost friends.

She tried to speak, but could only stagger dizzily when he set her down. I reached out for her arm and frowned. If he hurt her, I'd have to kill him.

"Emmett, seriously, she's not a doll."

I led her into the family room. Rosalie was sitting in one of the chairs reading a magazine, so I introduced her to Bella. They greeted each other, and Bella seemed a little nervous as she mentioned she knew Jasper. Rosalie smiled at the mention of her younger brother and tried to hide her grin as she looked down and admitted that she knew Bella's father. Emmett glanced back and forth between them, frowning in confusion until Rosalie explained that Bella's father was Chief Swan, who had caught him and Rose with their pants down, quite literally, more times than I could count. Emmett was delighted. It was information too good for him to pass up, and he teased Bella and me mercilessly until I jumped him.

We wrestled good-naturedly until Mom came in with some snacks. I was latched onto his back with my arm wrapped around his neck, and her appearance with food distracted me. Emmett flung me over his head, and I landed flat on my ass, the air leaving my body with a grunt at the impact. I was satisfied to hear Emmett staggering and wheezing as he collapsed on the sofa next to Rose. I managed to sit up, seeing Bella hovering over me anxiously. I grabbed her hand and pulled her into my lap, reassuring her I was fine.

Emmett was subdued and acting like a normal person during dinner, which should have alerted me. My mom asked about Bella's dad, and Bella assured her he'd be over before Christmas dinner the next day.

"Your dad's coming for Christmas?" Emmett perked up at this news and leered comically at Rosalie. "Maybe we should get naked in the living room, just for old time's sake."

Mom smacked him upside the head. "Emmett Dale Cullen!"

Emmett smirked and eyed me speculatively. I began to get alarmed. "If her dad's coming, you'd better be more careful with your stuff. I found these in the laundry."

He pulled something out of the front pocket of his jeans. I stared in petrified horror as two condom packets hit the table and skidded toward me, coming to a neat stop next to my plate. Oh, my God. Condoms on the dinner table. Mom was going to _kill_ him.

"You do laundry?" Rose snorted disbelievingly. She always focused on the pertinent issues, never mind the fact that he'd just tossed rubbers past the food while we were eating. "Since when?"

"Emmett." That was Dad's _you've gone too far_ voice. "That is completely inappropriate, even for you, at your mother's dinner table. Bella is a guest, and that is unspeakably rude."

"Looks like she's more like family." Nothing fazed Emmett, not even Dad's Voice of Doom.

Well, except for Mom's ear grab. It was effective, and had been since we were little. She got up from her chair to stand next to him. Her hand darted out, grabbed, and Emmett let out a squeal. She walked around the table, and I cringed, thinking I was next. She just bent, kissed my head, and took my plate. I felt something hit my lap and looked down to see the foil packets on my thigh. I shot a quick glance at my mom, realizing she'd knocked them off the table without anyone noticing. I swiftly stuck them in my pocket. They were a brand I had in my drawer upstairs, but I certainly didn't put them in any of my jeans for someone to find in the laundry. And the last time Emmett had done his own laundry, or even been in the laundry room to do anything other than dump his dirty clothes was…never. He'd set me up, the bastard. I glanced at Bella, seeing that she was studiously not looking at me as her face flamed. I didn't know what to say – what could I say in a situation like that – but Rosalie broke the uncomfortable silence.

"At least he has the sense to get the 'For Her Pleasure' ones. Nice going, Sprout."

Dad had about all he could take and choked a laugh into his napkin, which really didn't fool anyone. I had to echo it. Leave it to Rose to diffuse the situation. I shook my head and stood, grabbing Bella's hand and tugging her to stand next to me. I asked to be excused, more for sarcasm's sake than anything else, and led Bella up the stairs. We didn't stop until we got to my room.

"God, I'm so sorry," I groaned, collapsing onto the sofa. I thought about the condoms spinning across the table, Rosalie's comment about them being For Her Pleasure, and I started laughing.

Thankfully, Bella did, too, as she sat next to me. "Oh shit, Edward, the look on your face. I think we should have those bronzed or something."

"I tried to warn you. At least he'll get his from Rosalie." I couldn't begin to imagine my expression. Fucking Emmett. I felt satisfied that Rose would give him hell for acting like an asswipe during dinner.

We went back downstairs briefly for dessert, and I was glad to be able to enjoy that in peace as Emmett had disappeared with Rosalie to watch a movie. Bella and I went back up to the music room, where I messed around on the guitar and tried to show her a few basic chords. We laughed and kissed among the instruments and in my bedroom until Emmett made an appearance, just as I was getting ready to take her home. I sighed when he flopped down on my sofa, wrapped up in a blanket, whining about Rosalie having left and how bored he was.

I wanted to whine, too, but knew it was useless to try to get rid of him. I just sighed and walked Bella downstairs to her truck.

The next morning, I woke up with an odd, creepy feeling. I held still, listening intently before I moved or opened my eyes, knowing Emmett was either still in my room or had been very recently. I cracked my eyes open and glanced around when I didn't hear anything. Reassured the room was empty, I got up and gingerly walked into the bathroom to examine the space and my things for any signs of tampering. I took the saran wrap off the toilet before using it – that was a standard and expected ploy we went through every time Emmett came home, along with short-sheeting the bed. I'd done the same to his the day before. Standard and basic opening shots before the real fun began.

I got in the shower, cautiously opening the door and checking the showerhead before turning on the water. I unscrewed the cap of my shampoo and sniffed before using it. So far, so good, but I wouldn't let my guard down. I was _so_ glad my brother was home.

I cleaned up quickly, knowing Bella was coming over early as she'd promised to make me waffles for breakfast as part of my Christmas present. I loved her waffles. I wrapped the towel around my waist and shaved, glad to note that Emmett hadn't messed with my shaving gel, although that was hard to do since there wasn't a removable lid. I heard him moving around in his room on the floor and then the sound of his feet on the stairs. I glanced at the clock on my cell phone, which was sitting on the counter, and grimaced. Bella would be there any minute.

I grabbed my gel and rubbed it into my hair without thinking, which was incredibly stupid on my part. It felt weird on my fingers and on the strands. I froze, my eyes widening as I stared at my reflection in the mirror. He wouldn't…would he? Of course he would. I swore, grabbing the bottle and sniffing it suspiciously. It didn't smell any different, but when I squeezed out a small amount onto my hand, the color didn't look exactly the same. _Fuck_. How could I have been so stupid? I glared at myself in the mirror. I'd fallen for it like a rookie. I examined my hair, which had dried rapidly into stiff, hard spikes, making me look like frigging porcupine or something. It was ridiculous, but I was really concerned about what he had put in the gel to make it do that. I squeezed out another blob onto my hand, rubbing it between my fingers and smelling it again, staring at my hair sticking straight up at an impossible angle. I was suddenly reminded of a popular movie from a few years ago. Oh, no. Oh, _no no no_. He wouldn't go that far. He couldn't possibly be that disgusting. And then I realized it was my brother I was talking about.

"Emmett!" I roared, dropping the towel and running into my bedroom. I grabbed my jeans and pulled them on as I bolted down the stairs. He was going to die a slow, painful death. It didn't matter if I was way off base with my suspicions. I was going to kill him for messing with my personal care products, the stupid jackass.

I heard the door to the garage open and close and picked up speed. I hit the hallway, sliding to an abrupt halt on the slick tile of the kitchen floor when I saw Bella standing there. She must have come in while I was in the shower.

"Bella! I didn't know you were here." She looked great standing in the middle of the kitchen in a soft blue sweater, staring at me, her brown eyes wide. I realized I didn't know how long she'd been alone with Emmett. _Emmett_. I remembered I needed to kick his ass. "Where the fuck is Emmett?"

She stared at me as she pointed out the front window. I spun, only to see him backing out of the driveway in my car – _my car_. He honked the horn tauntingly and sped down the street. I stared in impotent fury.

"I can't fucking believe he took my fucking car." The brilliant jackass. I had to smile grimly at his cunning and strategy, and shook my head. I hadn't even greeted my girl properly. "Sorry, sorry."

I ran my hand through my hair in frustration and was distracted by the hard, crunchy feel of it. _Fucking Emmett_. I remembered my suspicious, and sniffed hesitantly at my fingers, wrinkling my nose. It smelled sweet and sugary, and relief swept through me. I heard Bella drop the spatula she'd been holding as I went to the sink to rinse my hands. Shit. I was going to have to take another shower to get rid of the crap in my hair.

"Are you making waffles?" I asked hopefully. Having Bella there would salvage my morning, and her waffles would just top it off. "It smells great, Bella."

I turned toward her, intending to give her a good morning kiss, and noticed she was just standing and staring at me. I'd grabbed a shirt along with my jeans, but hadn't taken the time to put it on as I'd chased Emmett down the stairs. I picked it up from the counter where I'd set it when I washed my hands and started to pull it over my head, but she interrupted me.

"No! Wait! Where is everyone?"

I froze, staring at in surprise at her shout. "Mom and Dad went for a quick walk." They always did Christmas morning before the craziness began, if my dad wasn't working. "And Emmett…" Emmett had just taken off in my car, damn it.

She licked her lips and sidled up to me, her eyes stuck to my bare torso. I finally got it.

"Hi," she whispered, running her fingers over my shoulder and across my chest.

I forgot about the T-shirt, dropping it carelessly to the floor as I took her in my arms. "Hi, yourself."

She came up on her tiptoes, kissing me, her hands sliding across my skin and making me shiver. The shiver turned into a shuddering groan as she put her fingers in my hair at the back of my head and tugged. She froze, pulling away with a startled frown and jerking her hands back to stare at them in confusion.

"What is in your hair?"

"Fucking Emmett!" Just like that, my anger came flooding back. I was still mad that he'd messed with my hair gel – and that I'd fallen for it – but it really pissed me off that it had made Bella stop kissing me just when things were getting interesting.

I stalked over to the phone, punching in the Whitlock's number. Rosalie answered, and I was glad. I knew the senior Whitlocks had left the day before on a Christmas cruise, but I didn't feel like explaining to Jasper why I needed to talk to his sister at that particular moment.

"Hi Rosalie – "

"Em?"

"No, it's Edward."

"Oh." She sounded a little surprised "Hi, Edward."

"Yeah, hi. Look, Emmett's on his way over, but I just wanted to let you know, when you come over this afternoon? Yeah, just don't use the bathroom in his room, okay?"

She sighed. "What did he do? No, don't tell me. You guys are up to your usual crap, aren't you? What did you do?"

"No, no, I'm not saying anything. Just…fair warning, okay?" I didn't want her to get caught up in our one-upmanship. I was pretty sure she could take me.

"Is it something good?"

"Yeah, I'll tell you later."

"Just tell me first if it's something that's going to piss me off, okay? It's doesn't have anything to do with me, right?"

"Um, no." Hair remover smeared on his toilet seat wouldn't piss her off unless she sat on it first, which was why I was warning her. "See you. Bye."

I turned to Bella, who was standing behind me. "I'll be back down in a few minutes, okay? Sorry. Will the waffles hold?"

She nodded, and I ran up the stairs. I wanted to be sure I still had the bottle of hair removal lotion I'd bought on a whim with my brother in mind. I couldn't put it on the seat of his toilet too early or it would dry, but if I timed it right… It would be classic.

I jumped in the shower again to wash my hair and used the small bottle of hair gel I kept in the equipment bag I took to the rink. I was starving and couldn't wait to sit down to breakfast with Bella and stuff myself with her waffles.

When I came back down to the kitchen for the second time that morning, I saw that my mom and dad had returned from their walk. My dad was sitting at the table, smiling happily as Bella set a plate in front of him.

"Merry Christmas," I told them, realizing I'd forgotten to wish the same to Bella when I'd first seen her that morning.

They returned the greeting, and Bella examined my head as she set a plate piled high with delicious smelling golden waffles on the table. "Everything okay?" she asked.

"Yep. Can I help?" I asked, eyeing them covetously.

"I'm all set." She got another plate and sat down along with my mom. "Let's eat."

"So," she said quietly a short time later when my parents were distracted. She gestured with her fork at my head. "Emmett?"

"Yeah." I took another bite and wanted to groan with pleasure. The waffles were so good. "We kind of play practical jokes on each other when he's home. He got a hold of my hair gel."

"What was in it?" she asked curiously, taking a bite and chewing.

"I don't know." I had no idea, but it had smelled sweet and was slightly sticky. "Some sort of syrup, if I had to guess." And that was much better than what I had been imagining.

Chief Swan came over later, entering with exaggerated hesitancy and joking about how weird it was being in the house in an unofficial capacity. We watched football and munched on snacks until Emmett showed up with Rosalie, and Chief Swan expressed his gratitude they were both fully dressed. Once we were all together, Mom announced it was present opening time. We'd already exchanged gifts with each other, so this was Bella's opportunity to be in the spotlight. She reacted just as I had expected.

"Presents?" she asked, looking at me worriedly. Her bottom lip went between her teeth.

"We opened ours earlier, but my mom and dad got something for you. I did, too." She gulped and glanced at everyone surrounding us in the family room. "Relax, Bella, and enjoy. It is Christmas after all."

She protested, but I brushed her concerns aside as Mom gathered the wrapped packages that were left under the Christmas tree. I gave Bella's hand a squeeze, mildly amused when I noted it was damp with nervousness. People fawning over her and giving her gifts made her uncomfortable. I'd just have to do a lot of both until she got used to it. Mom handed her a thin, brightly wrapped box, and she took it with a quick glance at me.

"Open this one first," Mom told her. "The others will make better sense if you do."

"Oh. Okay."

She stared at the box before looking at me again. I sighed exaggeratedly and pretended like I was going to take it from her. She snatched it against her chest with a frown, and I grinned at the telling gesture.

"Do you want me to open it for you? Go on, it won't bite."

She hesitantly slid her finger under the tape, joking about giving herself a life-threatening paper cut. She opened the lid and stared uncomprehendingly at what was inside. She took the ticket out, reading what was printed on it, her mouth falling open and eyes going wide in surprise.

"Airline tickets? To Los Angeles?" She glanced back and forth between my parents and me.

I grinned hugely, enjoying her shock. She'd been really bummed when I told her we were going back to California for New Year's Eve to watch Emmett play in the National Championship game at the Rose Bowl. My parents had gotten so sick of me moping around and missing her when we were there for Thanksgiving that it didn't take much to convince them that her coming with us at New Year's would be a perfect gift. They'd talked it over with her dad and bought the tickets a couple of weeks before.

"Oh, my God, thank you! Thank you! I get to go with you! This is amazing!" She hugged my parents enthusiastically, forgetting her usual shyness. My smile grew at this sign she was not only excited, but growing comfortable with my family.

"C'mon," I told her, patting the cushion next to me so she'd sit back down. "There's more."

She wouldn't let go of the tickets as she sat, and I exchanged a pleased glance with my mom and dad, who had noticed the gesture, too. Her dad gave her his present, summer clothes and a new bathing suit for her to wear in California that Alice had helped him choose. We exchanged our gifts – I'd gotten her a necklace consisting of a pretty blue stone on a silver chain. I'd seen it when my mom had dragged me into the shop to pick up a piece of her own jewelry that was in for repair, and it had instantly made me think of Bella. She got me a pair of Ray-Ban sunglasses that we'd seen in a store in Port Angeles when we'd been there with Jasper and Alice. I couldn't believe she'd remembered how much I'd wanted them. They were a perfect gift.

Afterward, we watched the end of the football game, and then her dad announced he had to leave for La Push. Bella and I exchanged a glance. She had a theory that he was seeing Sue Clearwater, and the fact that he was spending the rest of the day with her appeared to prove her suspicions correct – and the rest of the night, if I understood the conversation that followed. We walked him to the door, where he expressed his thanks. As he turned to Bella, I saw where she got her easy blush. His cheeks were red as he said good-bye.

"Have fun, Bells. Be good. I…uh, well, I'm not sure what time I'll be back tonight."

The look on her face was priceless. Mine must have looked the same when my mom spoke up.

"Charlie, why doesn't Bella spend the night here, if you don't mind? Then you won't have to worry about either of you getting home at any particular time."

I stared, realizing my mouth was hanging open. My mom had just made it possible for my girlfriend to spend the night, without my urging or prompting. I couldn't believe my ears.

Both Bella and Chief Swan wore identical blushes as he agreed. I barely resisted doing a fist pump, grabbing my mom, and whirling her around the foyer. She was awesome. Bella was spending the night.


	21. Chapter 21: Wrap Around

**SM, not me.**

**Thank you Sarahsumbrella and Sunking for beta-ing.**

**Thank you guys for taking the time to leave reviews. ffnet still fail on the reply part, but thankfully not on the leaving the review part. I really get a thrill seeing what you guys think of the story and chaps.**

**This is Edward, Bella, and a sofa. And a lot of citrus.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 21: Wrap Around**

Bella followed my mom into the kitchen after saying good-bye to her dad, and I ran upstairs to my room. I had an idea that needed preparation in case I had the chance to make it happen later. I heard Emmett following me and grinned. While I would love to see the hairless ring on his ass from the lotion I'd applied to his toilet seat, I also didn't want to actually see his ass. I knew he would try to get back at me, but I was prepared. I grabbed the cordless clippers, holding them hidden in front of me as I went about setting up my idea for later until I heard his careful, stealthy footsteps enter my room. I wanted to roll my eyes. Emmett couldn't be sneaky if his life depended on it.

I waited until I knew he was behind me, raising my arms at the last minute so that he grabbed my torso but left my hands free. He lifted me with a triumphant grunt, and I brought my arms up and back, hitting the power button on the clippers and connecting with his head. He howled and tried to duck, and I flung the clippers across the room where they couldn't be used against me.

"Motherfucker," he said, not without some admiration. He put his hand to his head, feeling the shaved strip on his scalp. He tackled me with a whoop, and I was laughing too hard to properly defend myself. "I can't believe you did that."

"I can't believe you fell for it," I gasped as we wrestled on the floor. "Oof!"

We heard Mom calling us on the intercom to come down to dinner, and he rolled off me.

"Wait until Rosalie sees what you did," he said, dashing down the stairs.

I felt a moment's trepidation, but shrugged and followed him. Dinner went well after the exclamations and examinations of his head, but Mom and Dad just let it go after the initial shock. Rosalie adopted a serves-you-right attitude, so I knew I was in the clear. Dad, Emmett, and I cleared the table and cleaned up after dinner as was Cullen family tradition, and then Bella and I left to go get her things at her house so she could spend the night. Her house was dark and quiet as we entered and went upstairs, and I saw the stone in the necklace I'd given her catch the light when she hit the switch to the overhead lamp in her bedroom. She cast a curious glance at me as she went to her closet, pulling out an overnight bag.

"Okay?" she questioned, digging through her things.

"Fine." I was thinking about how much better the holiday was having her with me. It was sappy, but it was true.

She paused, tilting her head and looking at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing. I'm just thinking how different this Christmas is than last year. It's a whole lot better spending it with you." It was the truth, and I wanted her to know it.

She murmured my name, looking pleased and surprised at the same time.

"Let me help you." I took the bag, but tossed it on the bed so I could hold her. Kiss her.

She responded as she always did, fully and completely. She leaned into me and parted her lips, welcoming me in and taking me deep. I kissed her, taking my time to enjoy and linger over every sigh and soft sound, storing them in my memory and then making more. We shared soft, easy presses of lips until she laid her cheek on my chest, holding on to my arms.

"Wow."

"Come on," I told her, touching my mouth to her fragrant hair. "We've got all night."

I took great interest in her lingerie drawer while she finished packing. She wouldn't let me perv through it, although she did tease me about the nightstand drawer in my bedroom.

"You're never going to let me live that down, are you?"

"Oh, hell no," she said with a sly grin. "Actually, I was hoping we could try some of it tonight."

She wanted to try some of the stuff in my drawer. I was dumfounded, amazed, and unbelievably turned on. Once again, I thought I was the luckiest bastard on earth.

She asked about sleeping arrangements as we went back to my car, understandably concerned about falling asleep with Emmett in the house. I assured her that with the Whitlocks out of town, he'd be sleeping at Rosalie's.

"Okay, then, where am I sleeping?" she asked.

That was a good question. I wasn't sure where she'd be sleeping officially – that is, as far as my parents were concerned – but there was no doubt in my mind she'd be sleeping in my bed. I couldn't fucking wait to have her there all night long.

"Well, we have a guest suite over the garage," I said thoughtfully, and she snorted.

"Of course you do. A guest suite. Doesn't everyone? Oh, sorry. Go on," she told me when I gave her a look.

"Like I was saying, we have a guest suite over the garage, but I'm thinking I can convince the parental unit to let you sleep on the pullout bed in the music room. What?" I asked when she stopped to stare at me.

"You think they'll really let me sleep anywhere near your room, all alone on your private floor three stories above them?"

"Yeah. I'm thinking they will. It's very quiet – and very private – up there. You can't hear anything from the main floor."

She shook her head and headed toward my car, letting me open the door for her.

"It's different, being the parents of boys," I told her, knowing what she was thinking. "Besides, after Emmett's little scene at the dinner table the other night with the condom, it's not like they haven't figured out we're, uh, sexually active."

My parents were lenient, but they weren't stupid. They knew there would be some sneaking around going on in the house that night, but as long as they trusted me to be smart and responsible, they'd most likely let it slide.

We stopped at Alice's to wish her and Jasper a Merry Christmas and so the girls could exchange gifts. We didn't stay long, and as we approached my house, I realized I had a perfect opportunity to set up the idea I'd prepared for earlier. It was a fantasy I'd had forever, and I was hoping to be able to act it out later that night.

"Care to make a bet?" I asked casually as I parked the Volvo in the garage. I grabbed her bag from the backseat, walking behind her to the door that led into the kitchen.

"What kind of bet?" She gave me a wary look.

"Let's see…" I pretended to think about it. "I bet they let you sleep in the pullout bed in the music room."

"I bet they don't," she said confidently.

"If I win, and they do, then I get a free night." Oh, she had no idea. No idea what I could do with her and her acceptance of giving me free rein for the evening.

"A free night of what?" Yep, no idea.

I bent to put my mouth close to her ear. She leaned into me in reaction, and I smiled. "A free night to do anything I want with you."

She pulled back sharply to stare at me. Her eyes dropped to my mouth, and she licked her lips in anticipation. I almost jumped her right there in the garage when I saw the tremor of excitement run through her. God, I loved it when she reacted to me that way. It was just like I reacted to her.

"An – Anything?" she stuttered, still staring at my mouth.

"Yeah." I brought my face closer to hers, watching her eyelids flutter shut in expectation of being kissed, but I shifted at the last second and brushed her cheek with my lips instead of her mouth. She gasped in disappointment, and I couldn't help a pleased smile. She was just as on edge as I was.

"What – what do I get if I win?"

"Anything _you_ want," I promised her, but I knew this wasn't a bet I would lose. Even if I did, I could handle giving her anything she asked for.

"Okay," she breathed. I was practically vibrating with eagerness to get her up into my bedroom.

My mom and dad were sitting at the kitchen table with what smelled like peppermint hot chocolate in front of them.

"Did you guys stop and see Jasper and Alice?" Mom asked.

"Yeah, for a bit." I gave them an innocent, easy smile. "So where should I put Bella's stuff?"

"I don't know," Dad said. He gave me a level stare, settling in his chair and draping his arm over the back. "Where do you think she should sleep?"

He was going to play it that way, was he? I was good at strategy. I studied him calculatingly, starting high to give him room to negotiate. "Well, I was thinking maybe the sofa in my room?"

"You did, did you?" He kept his serious stare for about three seconds before we both grinned at each other. "That's a little presumptuous. Don't you think the bed in the music room would be a little more comfortable?"

A good strategy wins the game every time. Perfect. It was exactly what I'd wanted. I shrugged like it was no big deal. "Sounds good."

I turned, gesturing for Bella to walk ahead of me down the hall. I stopped when my dad called my name, turning to look at him. He was giving me that "Dad look" again.

"I do expect that you'll respect the rules of this household. That you're old enough to be trusted to do so?"

Nicely played. The old man had some strategy skills of his own. I nodded, acknowledging that I understood the message, and led Bella up the stairs. We entered my room, and I shut and locked the door behind us.

I didn't bother with the light switch, thinking that she'd be more comfortable with the low lighting from the lamps next to my bed. Bella wandered over to the double doors leading out onto the balcony. I studied her – the wavy tumble of her dark hair, the gentle, feminine curve of her waist, the slender length of her legs. I loved her so much I ached with it, and she was too far away.

"Come here," I said softly.

"What about your parents?" She turned to face me, still standing in front of the doors.

"They won't come upstairs until before they go to bed. We've got plenty of time." I knew they wouldn't be coming up to check on us and that we were safe from parental interruption for a while.

I could see the entire length of her reflected in the glass, and another fantasy sprung to mind. _One at a time_, I reminded myself. I had won our little bet. I felt a flare of satisfaction, closely followed by guilt. It hadn't been exactly fair. I'd been pretty sure my mom and dad would let her sleep in the music room, as my grandparents were the only ones who used the guest rooms over the garage. I felt bad, but my desire was stronger than my guilt. I wanted her here, in my room, on the black leather sofa. I wanted to see her pale, white skin glowing against the dark, buttery smooth material. Knowing she wanted me, too, helped to soothe whatever guilt I felt. Knowing I was going to have her, and have her in a way I'd only dreamt about, shook my control and composure.

"Come here," I insisted quietly. It was all I could manage without my voice shaking. Lust was riding me hard, and I tried to get a grip on it.

She smiled, and I wanted to drop to my knees and beg her. She knew somehow, because she took one slow, taunting step at a time toward me, watching, teasing me, bringing me to the edge so suddenly and completely that my control snapped.

I grabbed her, taking her mouth, and was gratified when she opened instantly, meeting my tongue with almost the same frantic need. I was consumed by it. I wanted her bent over that sofa, willing and just as desperate for me as I was for her. I'd won the bet. My possessive caveman instincts crowed, but it had to be something she wanted, too. But, holy fuck, how I coveted having her over that sofa.

I grabbed hold of that last shred of sanity and forced my head back when she would have gone deeper with the kiss. Everything in me screamed to just take. She showed no signs of wanting to stop, but she didn't know what I'd planned or what the "anything" was that I wanted. I struggled to regain a semblance of control, grounding myself by reaching out and touching the curve of her cheek, feeling how fragile she was, but I saw the same desire that I felt in her expression. She lifted her mouth toward me in an unmistakable gesture, demanding more, but I had to be sure.

"If it's something you don't want, Bella, you just tell me, okay?" I swallowed. I was trembling in excitement, and even though I was on the verge of one of my biggest fantasies, I knew I'd relent. I'd take her any way I could get her – any way she'd let me, any way she wanted. _But oh, please_, I thought. _Please want this._

"I want you, Edward," she said, looking me directly in the eye. My heart leapt, and my dick surged against my jeans.

If the kiss I had given her before was desperate, it couldn't compare to the one I gave her then. I surged deep and then tore away, spinning her around so that I could see her reflected in front of me in the glass of the floor-to-ceiling windows. I felt her pressed all along the front of my body and watched as my hands slid up to cover her breasts. She moaned and writhed against me, reaching back to touch my cheek as I bent and sucked on her neck. I couldn't take my eyes off of our reflection as I undressed her, stripping her clothes more quickly than I had intended. I wanted to see her, savor the exposure of each inch of skin, but I was so hard it was painful. She shivered as I pulled her shirt off, and I rubbed her arms before sliding each strap of her bra over the smooth, round curves of her shoulders. She shivered again, and I realized it wasn't from being cold, even though gooseflesh rose on her skin and her nipples hardened as I exposed them. I unbuttoned her jeans, and she pushed them down, kicking off her shoes, somehow managing to pull her socks off with the opposite foot without having to bend. Once naked, she stood facing away from me, waiting, and the breath heaved in and out of my chest with the effort it took not to pin her to the floor and get inside her as quickly as possible.

My eyes were glued to the smooth, alabaster expanse of her back. My hand shook as I reached out and brushed my fingertips down the indent of her spine. "Jesus, Bella. Your skin – It's so beautiful."

I fisted my hand over the dimple just above the sweet curve of her ass, clenching my teeth. I couldn't just throw her down and pound into her. She had to be sore from the day before. She would be shocked. I had to control myself, but the longer she stood before me naked, the harder it was. Sweat was trickling down my forehead. I wanted her so badly, and I'd barely even touched her.

"Edward." Her voice was ragged and breathy, and oh, how I ached at the sound of my name coming from her in that tone. At my continued silence, she tried to turn to face me, but I held her shoulders to prevent her from moving.

"Shush," I whispered, leaning against her back, running my mouth along her neck and inhaling her warm, musky scent. It was like a fucking aphrodisiac. My dick strained, wanting more contact, friction, anything. "You promised, remember? Anything I want."

Shudders ran through me at the thought, and I knew I couldn't wait another second. I'd set some condoms and a bottle of lube just under the edge of the sofa earlier, before the Emmett-and-hair-clippers incident. I steered her over to the black leather, every muscle in my body tightening, anticipating, slavering. I stopped just before her knees hit the seat, running my hand over the silk of her back.

"Here." I hardly recognized my own voice. My excitement was so great I could barely speak. Fine tremors ran through her body, responding to the urgency, the sheer lust I was radiating in my need for her like that, like always.

"Here," I repeated. "God, I want you here."

I pressed gently on her shoulders, and she hesitated. She didn't understand at first, but at the continued pressure, she sank gracefully to her knees. I almost came right then as she knelt in front of me, facing away, waiting, wanting, and complying with my desires. I slid my hand back to her shoulder blade and pushed lightly. This time she reacted immediately and eagerly, bending at the waist to lay her upper body on the seat of the sofa, her breasts flattening onto the leather. I ripped the shirt over my head, my hands scrabbling for the belt and buttons on my jeans, yanking, tugging, desperate. I couldn't slow down or hold back as I absorbed the sight of Bella, my Bella, bent over the black leather cushions of my sofa waiting for my cock.

Holy fucking hell.

Even my vivid and detailed imagination could never have come up with anything so absolutely fucking amazing. My jeans hit the floor with a thud, and she lifted her head at the sound. My hand shot out without conscious thought, tangling in her hair and holding her in place. If she moved…_fuck_. If she moved, if she acted like she was going to get up or leave, I didn't know what I would do. I'd like to think I'd act like a civilized person, but I'd kind of left that behind about ten minutes before. I loved her so much. I wanted her so badly.

She made a soft, whimpering, excited sound, and I was done. I fell to my knees behind her, my thighs bracing hers, supporting and capturing. My fingers curled around the lush curves of her hips, digging into the flare of bone as I trapped her between my body and the sofa. I needed contact – much more contact – so I pressed my chest to her back, feeling the slide of our skin, the heat of our bodies meeting and blending. The sensation spread and soared through me. Reaching up with a shaking hand, I pushed the long strands of her hair forward so it pooled on the leather around her face. I was panting, losing it, and I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to bring the unholy urges back under my control. My lips found her neck, tasting her, but that only made it worse. I couldn't hold back any longer and reached for the condom and the lube, scrabbling along the floor until I found it, squeezing so hard when it was in my hand that I thought it might burst and squirt all over her back. I had to fight a surge of hysterical laughter. Every nerve ending was on edge, scraped raw, and I needed the balm of being inside her as soon as possible.

I fit my knees inside hers and spread them wide, fitting myself into the space she allowed, rubbing my burning, aching shaft along that smooth, sensitive, intimate flesh. She made a noise I couldn't decipher in my daze of lust, and I took a deep breath, gritting my teeth. It took an immense effort to ease my hips away from where they desperately wanted to be so I could roll the condom over my erection. It also gave me room to spread the lube on myself and over her, around her tender opening, being generous with its use. I couldn't be as gentle as I should, and I hoped that the slippery stuff would help make up for my lack of control.

"Okay?" My awkward position brought my mouth close to her ear, and I buried my face in her hair, taking a deep, gulping breath as the slick slide of my own fingers brought me perilously close to coming.

She made an odd, grunting noise in affirmation, head nodding frantically, her body taut and trembling. And then she sent me reeling.

"Edward. Please."

_Oh, fuck_. I slipped my fingers inside her, spreading the lube, feeling her slickness, the soft, wet heat, the strength of her muscles clenching and clamping. I withdrew, wanting even more lube just in case, and she moaned at the loss. I knew when I heard the sound she was just as caught up as I was, just as needy, and it steadied me just enough to hang on to that last thread of reason. She pushed back against me, demanding that I enter her, but this was my fantasy. I pinched her butt and smiled. I wanted to shout with triumph when she moaned at the small sting. She wanted me.

"No," I said, and was shocked at the low growl of my voice. "Be good, or don't you want this?"

I thrust my dick against her, but underestimated how the sensation would affect me. I bucked again in reflex. She started to sit up, but I settled my hand between her shoulder blades to keep her in place. There would be no moving. This was all me.

I spread more lube over her, over me. Her hands flexed into the leather, trying to grab and grip, to hold on, but the material was too soft, too tight, too slick. Just like she was inside. I saw her try to bite when she couldn't grip, and that was when I lost what was left of my rational mind.

"Jesus, Bella," I whispered, and I was inside her, all the way, hot, tight, and exquisite.

I was shocked when she came with that one stroke, shuddering, shivering, crying out, and almost jerking out of my clutching hands.

_Fuck_. I froze. Every muscle and molecule in my body locked down, fighting against primal instinct, every formidable urge to plunge madly, to thrust, to hammer my hips until I came in a blaze of glory.

_FuckFuckFuck_.

I felt like I might pass out from the strain, the inhuman effort to hold back, but eventually I became aware that she had stilled under me except for the heaving of her breaths. I lifted myself off her, my muscles creaking with the strain, and thrust. Oh, God, finally. I thrust.

_Mine_, my brain shouted as I plunged in. _Hers_, my heart cried as I slid out. I was nothing but a fiery ball of pleasure, every nerve ending radiating joy and love and fucking.

"I'm going to come again," she warned me in a shaky voice, rising up on her arms, bracing against the cushions. I didn't think it would have been possible for me to swell any more, get any harder, but I did at her words.

She tossed her head, her hair spreading over my hands where they gripped her shoulders for leverage. The soft slide of silk was the last sensation my body could bear, and I went nuclear, became incandescent.

I came.

After what seemed like a very long time, I became aware I was lying on top of her and crushing her into the sofa. There was no other sound in the room except for harsh breathing heaving in and out of our lungs. With a herculean effort, I managed to roll to the side, slipping out of her and feeling the loss with a sharp, physical pang. I slumped to the floor with my back propped up against the sofa for a few seconds before reaching for my T-shirt and dragging it toward us. Gently running it between her legs, I used it to soothe and wipe her clean of the lube and her own moisture before doing the same to myself. I rolled the condom up into it, making a note to throw it out as soon as my legs worked again. Reaching out with the last of my strength, I pulled her into my lap, tucking her into the curve of my body.

"Okay?" I murmured into her hair, my lips searching out the spot that never failed to make her shiver.

"Better than," she assured me, lifting her face to mine. She placed her hands on my cheeks, her fingers stroking gently. She stared for a few seconds and then smiled, tilting her head to kiss me.

"I love you," she whispered against my lips.

I captured the words in my mouth and gave them back, along with the kiss. "I love you, too."

I groaned and set her on her feet before standing next to her, feeling like a limp noodle, but a very satisfied limp noodle. We dressed each other and stumbled, kissing and laughing, into the music room to get her bed ready. Dad came up a little while later to check on us and put the parental damper on any teenage hormonal designs we had on each other. He probably knew he was too late. I'd always been a bit of an overachiever.

I got her overnight bag out of my bedroom and brought it into the bathroom so she could get ready for bed. She rummaged through it after brushing her teeth, and I noticed she suddenly looked unsure.

"What?" I asked, arching a brow at her. After what we had just done on the sofa, I couldn't imagine her being uncertain of anything around me.

"Um, I need to change." She held up a bundle of clothes, and I rolled my eyes as I moved toward her.

"Why?" Like she needed clothes to sleep in my bed.

"Because we're supposed to be respecting the rules of the house?" She tried to imitate my arched brow, but was trying hard not to smile as I grabbed her around the waist.

"I think we already violated that one by screwing each other's brains out on my sofa." A laugh shivered through her. "Besides, what could be more respectful than giving you the most intense orgasm of your life? Dad would be proud."

I grinned wickedly, a little proud myself. She slipped out of my arms, and I groaned.

"I need to change and get in my own little bed in the music room. What if one of them comes back up to check on us during the night?"

"They won't. They won't!" I insisted when she just looked at me incredulously. "I was right before, wasn't I? Trust me."

"Then why did we even bother to get the bed out in the first place?" She looked annoyed and confused.

"Just in case. I cover all my bases, baby." One could never be too prepared. It was good to have a plan.

I heaved a sigh, grabbing the clothes she thought she was wearing to bed and tossing them carelessly on the floor. She made a sound of protest, but to avoid another pointless argument, I just bent down and lifted her over my shoulder. It was a possessive, overbearing asshole move, but I was feeling like a possessive, overbearing asshole. She'd just have to deal.

Her sound of protest became an exclamation, but I just shushed her and gave her an arrogant slap on the ass. "You're sleeping here with me, and that's that."

I tossed her on my bed, watching in appreciation as she bounced and flailed, her hair tangling around her.

"Oh, really?" she challenged me breathlessly.

Bring it on, I thought. I was feeling smug and invincible. I was on top of the world. Brimming with energy and confidence.

"Yeah." I smirked. "Really."

Well, if you insist." She insolently propped pillows behind her as if settling back as if to watch a show.

So I gave her one.


	22. Chapter 22: Changing On The Fly

**SM, not mine.**

**Lots and lots of love to SunKing and Sarahsumbrella for beta-ing.**

**Thanks to you guys for reading and all of your great comments and reviews, even though the reply function is still broken. And thanks to everyone who voted in the Sunflower Awards - Iceward is up for Best Edward, and CM for a few other categories - thanks for that! Voting is still open if you're inclined to check out the nominees and vote... :)**

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**CHAPTER 22: Changing On The Fly**

It was great to have Bella with me in California. She said she'd been before, when Renee had driven them out from Phoenix, but it had been when she was much younger. We had plans to spend some time on the beach, of course, but there were lots of things going on with the New Year's holiday and Emmett playing in the football game. I'd brought my acoustic guitar along with me, as there was a bar one of Emmett's friends owned that I played at whenever I got a chance. Bella had never heard me play anywhere other than at my house, and I was hoping she'd enjoy listening to me in the bar as much as she did the music room at home. There was also a big party planned for New Year's Eve that the team was attending. It was going to be held in the ballroom of the hotel we were staying at, sponsored by one of the alumni organizations. I figured it was more to keep tabs on the players before the big game, but knew it would be fun.

Rosalie was her usual amazing self, picking us up at the airport and making it possible for Bella and I to share a room in the hotel. Mom and Dad had been all parental about the sleeping arrangements, intending that Dad and I share one room and the girls share the other. Rosalie just rolled her eyes and grabbed the key from my Dad as we checked in, telling them there was no reason they shouldn't stay together, and that she and Bella would share a bed while I took the other in the second room. What my mom and dad didn't know was that Emmett had reserved another, separate room for him and Rosalie where they could get some private time away from the team and my parents, which would leave Bella and me all alone at night. The arrangements were more than satisfactory.

The first night we were in Los Angeles, we went to the bar that was owned by Emmett's friend, Mick. Bella and I were underage, but Emmett got us in the back and Mick just gave us a warning to keep a low profile. I could pass for twenty-one when I tried, but there was no way Bella could, even in the dark. A bunch of Emmett's teammates had already arrived and commandeered tables in the back, but I just waved at them, holding on to Bella's hand and pulling her with me to the small stage at the opposite end of the room so I could I tune my guitar. I'd only sing a couple of songs, but it was fun, and I liked the atmosphere. The guys were a good and enthusiastic audience, and I enjoyed being able to do a couple of songs for them.

"Edward!" The shout came from the group gathered around the table. I looked up to see a few of the guys standing up and gesturing me over to them. "Man, come say hi!"

I set the guitar down behind the wooden stool, taking Bella's hand again and weaving my way around the tables to the group in the back. "Hey, guys. This is my girlfriend, Bella. She's here to see if you pussies can kick some ass on the field."

She turned bright red as they hooted and hollered, and I held a chair out for her to sit, dropping into the empty spot next to her. Everyone began talking at once, and I tried to answer questions and talk above the boisterous noise. I recognized pretty much everyone, noting a few of the guys had brought their girlfriends, too. I saw Andy sitting at the far end of the table, and Carole made her way toward us to sit on the other side of Bella, noticing she was a little unsteady on her feet. I tried to split my attention to what the guys were saying in front of me and the conversation taking place at my side.

"Girlfriend, huh?" I heard Carole say, and knew she had been drinking. I glanced at Andy, who was scowling darkly at us, and realized there was something going on between him and Carole, something not good. I hoped it wasn't something they couldn't fix. Carole was a friend, and I wanted her to be happy.

"Yeah, and here we were thinking he was gay," Andy drawled from the end of the table. The comment was supposed to be joking, but came out a little surly as he sneered at Carole. I scowled in response, uncertain of the undercurrents, but Carole's next words shocked the hell out of me.

"I could have told you he wasn't, if you had asked me." The words were deliberately taunting. She meant them for Andy, but Bella got caught in the crossfire, and that shit wasn't okay.

It was completely unlike the Carole I knew. Anger flashed through me, dispelling any kind feelings I'd been having toward her. No one talked to Bella like that in front of me—I didn't care who it was. I opened my mouth to ask what the hell she thought she was doing, but Bella beat me to it. She made a snarky remark in return, and everyone at the table cracked up. Carole flushed, realizing she'd pulled us into whatever was going on between her and Andy. She got up and left the table. I was tempted to go after her, to demand to know why she would say something so shitty to Bella—to my girlfriend, for fuck's sake. But Bella held on to my arm, and I'd never embarrass her like that. I'd deal with that bullshit later.

"So…did you?" Bella tugged on my arm, and I bent toward her to hear her soft question.

"Did I what?"

"You know. Did you have a thing with her?" She gestured to where Carole had disappeared down a narrow hall that led to the restrooms.

I had no idea how to answer that question, but after what had just happened, she certainly deserved an explanation. Carole being there had never crossed my mind. I'd been so consumed with the idea of Bella coming with me that I'd never even thought about the other girl. Was that something that should even be brought up, if I had thought about it? I had no idea. Bella had never asked me outright whom my past sexual experience had been with, and I never volunteered the information. She knew I hadn't slept with Tanya or Bree, but she'd never asked whom I _had_ slept with.

Andy suddenly occupied the chair Carole had just vacated. I could tell he'd been drinking, too, and briefly wondered what the hell was going on between the two of them. While it sucked, I was getting a little pissed off being dragged into whatever drama they were dealing with, especially when they involved Bella.

"Don't blame him," Andy said with false cheerfulness. He was smiling, but his eyes were cool on mine. "Everyone's had a 'thing' with Carole."

"Andy, I don't think you're helping." I gave him a glare, leaning forward. I wanted to strangle him. I was pissed that he and Carole were bringing Bella—and me—into whatever stupid argument they were having.

I felt Bella's narrow-eyed gaze on me, and knew I owed her big. An explanation would be the least of it. I didn't want to get into it at the bar in front of everyone, but I'd take her back to the hotel if that was what she wanted. I started to ask her, but Andy interrupted again.

"Oh, go on and sing, pretty boy. Don't worry about your girl. We'll watch over her. Not that she needs it."

I didn't want to leave Bella alone with him and give him or Carole another opportunity to fuck around with whatever they were fucking around with. But everyone started chanting, "Sing! Sing!" and I didn't have much of a choice. I glanced at Emmett, and he gave me a nod. He'd seen what had happened, and I knew I could trust him to look after my girl.

The chanting got louder and more insistent as I stood, and I grinned ruefully. "Remind me again why I thought this would be a good idea?"

I was a little distracted by what had happened at the table and a lot irritated, but I managed to perform decently enough. I had a surprise planned for Bella, and sang _Little Willy_, slowing it down on the acoustic guitar. It was timely, considering the weirdness that had just occurred. I wanted her to know I loved her and that every time I heard those distinctive chords, I remembered the first time she told me she loved me.

The applause was gratifying when I finished, and I couldn't help grinning in satisfaction as I made my way through the crowd. Everyone congratulated me, but I was only concerned with Bella. Her eyes were bright, and the smile on her face was brilliant. I relaxed, knowing that she had enjoyed the performance, and set my guitar case carefully against the wall. Someone shoved a beer in my hand as I collapsed in the chair next to her, and I emptied it in one thirsty pull. Damn, but that tasted good.

"So, did it sound okay?" I smiled at her, searching for a sign of what she thought.

She'd gone still, her gaze focused intently on me. I watched her eyes roam my face, down my chest, and over my arms. The light barely reflected in the dark depths, but what light there was glittered and sparked. Her lips parted and her breath came faster, and when her eyes met mine again, I could see the desire and the lust etched plainly onto her features. Lust for me.

I was hard in an instant. She just had that effect on me.

"You were amazing." The words were a low, sibilant whisper as she held my gaze. "I love hearing you sing. I love watching you play."

"Jesus, Bella." I took deep, carefully measured breaths, struggling to bring the sudden and fierce arousal burning between us under control. When she looked at me like that, I was reduced to a hard, aching hormonal mess. When she looked at me like that, I was helpless.

She reached out slowly with one finger, and we both watched it move across the space between us. She touched my bicep just above my elbow and drew it down, slicking along my damp skin. I couldn't stop the sharp, electric shiver that coursed through me, severely shaking my control. It was more in reaction to what I knew that touch meant rather than the intensity of the sensation. I had to get us out of there. I had to be alone with her. It had been much too long since we'd been together.

"What time is it?" I growled. I realized we hadn't looked away from each other since I sat down. I also realized no one could hear me. "What time is it, Emmett?"

"Just now eleven." He grinned knowingly and sent me a wink.

"That late? It's been a busy day. I'd better get Bella back to the hotel, you know?" I grabbed her and my guitar and left the bar as quickly as I could without being completely obvious.

We caught a cab back to the hotel. I stole a few kisses in the backseat, but forced myself to sit back and just hold her hand after I started to get a little carried away. I didn't want to give the driver any more of a show, even though I suspected he wouldn't have minded from the sly, grinning glances he kept giving us in the rearview mirror. We made it through the lobby, silent tension building between us. I wanted her so badly. I knew that if I touched her, I'd explode out of my skin. I was buzzing with the residual effects of being on stage, which were surprisingly similar to being out on the ice, and the influence that was just Bella.

I kept my eyes on her as we entered the hotel room—the empty hotel room. The hotel room that would remain empty, except for the two of us, until morning. Hours and hours away. I called my mom to let her know we'd gotten back safely and tossed my cell phone carelessly on the table beside the bed. Who cared about a damn cell phone when Bella was staring at my crotch with that particularly enthralled expression on her face? She took a step toward me, reaching out and cupping me through my jeans. I whimpered a little, and then she lowered herself to her knees. I whimpered a lot, because I had to stop her. I'd been sweating like crazy up on stage, not to mention all the traveling we'd done that day. I didn't want her mouth on me down there until I'd had a shower. Damn it.

She looked regretful as I dashed for the bathroom. I hurried my way through the shower, hard and eager as I soaped, rinsed, and made sure I was squeaky clean all over. She came into the bathroom as I was scrubbing a towel quickly through my hair, and this time when she sank to her knees, I didn't stop her.

I woke slowly the next morning, my nose filled with Bella's scent, her slight form adhered to my side. She was warm and solid and felt so good. I thought I had to be imagining that she was next to me. I felt her mouth against my bare chest and smiled, floating along with the last remnants of sleep.

"I like waking up with you," I muttered, shifting slightly and pulling her with me. "This is awesome."

And it was. Her lips pressed just under my collarbone. I smiled, snuggling her closer and pulling the blankets around us, preserving our cozy little world for a few minutes longer. I wanted to enjoy the novelty of having her with me first thing in the morning when we were warm, sated, sleepy, and didn't have to worry about parents bursting in on us. I kind of wanted to fall back to sleep, but the opportunity of having her in the hotel room, just the two of us, was too good to let pass. I was aware of the slightest shift in the cadence of her breathing, the tension in her muscles, and frowned. I was thinking sex, but Bella was thinking something else. I could certainly tell the difference. I knew I'd better find out what was on her mind, and then maybe we could get to what was on my mind.

I struggled to make my brain function, rubbing my eyes and glancing down to where she was resting her cheek against my shoulder. She looked absolutely fucking perfect right where she was, and I didn't want to move.

"Good morning. I think you wiped me out last night." I smiled down at her, but her face was pinched with tension and she was biting her lip. "Bella? You okay?"

I'd been a little over-enthusiastic the night before. She'd taken me completely by surprise, wearing a pretty, lacey thing with holes—holes where they weren't supposed to be, and it had been beyond amazing. I'd never in a million years expected Bella to catch on to my secret fascination with racy lingerie, but she had seen my porn stash, and she was a very smart, observant girl. I loved her even more for it.

What she'd worn had been transparent, and _holy good fucking hell_ it had been crotchless. I'd lost my mind, quite literally, and pretty much attacked her. Later, after, I'd tried to make it up to her, loving her and showing her how much I appreciated and valued her, but that first time… It had been all lust and fucking and want and have to have, and oh, how I'd had her. For all of about thirty seconds. I'd never lost myself like that before, my rational mind, my careful control. Not ever. She'd brought me to my knees, but I'd rather cut them off than have caused her harm.

"I didn't hurt you last night, did I?" I sat up, suddenly worried. I grasped her shoulders gently and pulled her away from me when she tried to cling, checking for any signs that I'd been too rough in my frenzy.

"No, no. I'm fine." She smiled at me and reached up to touch my face gently. "Really, Edward, I'm fine."

I met her eyes and saw only a shining happiness, which convinced me she was telling the truth. I was beyond relieved I hadn't hurt her, and that we could let go and just fuck each other's brains out when the urge took us. But I hadn't mistaken the tension in her. Physically she was fine, but something was bothering her.

"What's the matter, then?"

She took a deep breath, and I started to get worried. Maybe she hadn't been comfortable with what we'd done the night before. But, true to form, she wasn't worried about what I thought she was worried about.

"Will you tell me about Carole?"

She shocked the hell out of me. I could honestly say it was the very last thing I'd expected. The very last thing on my mind was another girl. Bella was all I could think about at the best of times, and after the night before… Fucking hell. How the hell was I supposed to ever think of another girl, when she was the only girl that mattered?

"Why?" The question was more of a delaying tactic. I needed to bring my brain up to speed, so I could discuss the subject with some sort of reasonableness. I hadn't hurt her physically, and I wasn't about to hurt her in any other way if I could help it.

"Because I just…I just want to know." She was sitting in my lap, her fingers tracing my skin. I thought it was a good sign she was touching me and wanted to be near me. "You told me who you didn't sleep with—Tanya, Bree—but you never told me who you did sleep with. I know you said you'd had sex before. Was it…was it with Carole?"

Her fingers had gone from gentle stroking to digging into my skin. I gave them a squeeze and sat fully upright, running my hand over my head. I would tell her anything she wanted to know, and I'd tell her the truth. I didn't have anything to be embarrassed about, not really, but it didn't change the fact that I was embarrassed. I didn't want to talk about having sex with someone else, even if it had been before I knew her. She scrambled for her shirt, pulling it over her head, and my stomach swooped and rolled. I hated that she was uncomfortable, but there really was no way to avoid the conversation. I'd just make it as plain and quick as possible so we could move on with _us_, which was the really important stuff.

"Bella, I love you. I've never felt this way about anyone, ever, and that's the truth. I've never wanted to do... I've never wanted anyone like I want you. I'll tell you about Carole, if that's what you want, but I don't want to upset you. I don't want it to hurt you. It's something that happened before we met, and I don't want…it just feels really weird talking about it with you. I don't want this to change anything between us."

"I love you, too, Edward. So much. But I'd like you to tell me, so I know. Otherwise it'll just bug me, and I'll keep worrying about it." A frown creased her forehead. "I don't have anything to worry about, do I?"

"What? No. No!" She had absolutely nothing to worry about. There was no one else but her. There hadn't been in a very long time, and I suspected that for me, she was all there ever would be. "I haven't been with…haven't seen Carole in a long time."

"So you did sleep with her." She'd inched closer, but she was having a hard time meeting my gaze. I hated even that small sign of insecurity. I had to find a way to convince her she had nothing to feel insecure about while still answering her questions and giving her the truth.

"Yeah, I did." I slid up against the headboard and held my arms out to her, hoping she wouldn't refuse me. I wanted to feel her secure and solid in my arms if I had to talk about something so awkward. "Will you let me hold you while I tell you? Please?"

She wrapped her arms around me with no hesitation and a sigh of relief. It made me feel better that she wanted contact with me, too. I told her the story about meeting Carole a couple of years before when she'd roomed with Rosalie, and how we'd hooked up when I'd traveled to California to visit. I'd liked her, we'd enjoyed each other the few times we'd been together, and I'd learned a lot. I was afraid it sounded cheap and casual as I explained it to Bella, when that hadn't been the situation at all. We liked each other and, well, sex is sex. It's almost always a good thing when it's between two consenting, healthy young people, but we were never meant to have a serious, long-term relationship. We'd burned out what had been between us even before I'd run into Bella that fateful day in the hallway at school. I'd liked Carole, but I loved Bella. Carole had started dating Andy, I'd started dating Bella, and we were both happy and still friends. At least we had been, until the night before. It pissed me off that she had treated Bella that way, no matter the excuse or what was going on in her personal life, and I'd let her know that in no uncertain terms when I got the chance.

I wasn't sure how Bella would take my confessions, but she amazed me as always by taking them in stride, even teasing me a little. My relief was immense that she didn't hold my past against me. I wrestled her back on the bed, fitting my body over hers and pinning her to the mattress as she laughed and fought half-heartedly.

"So we're okay?" I couldn't help but ask before her wiggling distracted me.

"We're okay." She kissed me, and I was definitely distracted. "Thank you for telling me. I love you, Edward."

"Love you." Oh, how I loved her. She was amazing, and I'd never let her doubt how much she meant to me. No one else compared. There was only her, and I wanted to show her. I wanted to push her deep into the mattress, lift those long, lovely legs over my shoulders, and leave no doubt in her mind that there was only the two of us from that point until forever.

And then my phone rang. I would have ignored it—I really, really wanted to ignore it—but I knew it was probably Rose or my mom. I sighed, giving Bella a regretful look as I rolled away to grab it off the nightstand.

It was Rose, giving me advance warning she was returning to the room. Burying my head between Bella's legs was going to have to wait, but I determined it wouldn't wait for long. I'd figure out a way to get her gasping and wiggling around my tongue just as soon as possible.

Emmett's team had arranged a private party at the hotel to celebrate New Year's Eve with the players and their friends and family. It was convenient that it was right downstairs and we didn't have to go anywhere, but it was pretty closely monitored, both to keep the underage from drinking and the players from getting into any trouble the night before the game. Not that I figured either was going to be a problem for me or Bella, but it was fun watching Emmett's teammates trying to get out from under the watchful eyes of coaches, trainers, and family members.

I'd excused myself to go find the bathroom and was returning to the hall, stopping briefly to say hello to people I recognized and talk to some of the professional athletes and football scouts. I'd almost made it to the door when someone touched my arm tentatively from behind, stopping me.

"Edward." It was Carole, looking sheepish and a little unsure of my reaction. "Edward…"

My gaze shot to Bella, who sat chatting with Rose at a table across the banquet hall. Carole had approached me just outside the doorway, and we would be clearly visible if Bella looked in my direction. I scowled down at Carole, and her face flushed at the sign of my annoyance. After the way she had treated Bella at the bar last night, I just couldn't find it in me to care.

"What do you want?" I asked coldly. I stepped to the side, so we couldn't be seen from inside the room. I thought Bella and I were okay about Carole, my past, and what had happened at the bar last night, but I didn't want to upset my girl any more than necessary.

"I—I want to apologize, Edward. I'm really sorry about last night. I was drunk, and Andy and I just broke up, and…I'm sorry. It's no excuse, but I wanted you to know I'm really, really sorry."

"I have no idea what was going on last night, but it was out of line. I don't care what you've got going on between you and Andy, or with you personally. That was fucked up, Carole. Bella didn't deserve to be put on the spot like that. Neither did I, but I don't care about me. I can handle it. It wasn't fair to say shit like that, not to my girlfriend."

"I know," she admitted miserably, and she really did look upset. "You know that's not me, Edward. I had been drinking, and after the fight Andy and I had just had… Well, like I said, it's no excuse. I didn't mean to bring you guys into it or embarrass your girlfriend—or you. It was really stupid and immature, and I am really sorry."

"It's not me that needs the apology," I said.

She blinked at me in surprise. "You think I should talk to her? You think that's a good idea?"

I grimaced as I imagined that conversation. "Well, maybe not. You and I have always been friends, and I like you, Carole. But I love Bella. I care about her. It really pissed me off that you'd say something like that, even if it wasn't meant for her. It still upset her."

"Edward, I—"

I shook my head. "Look, let's just drop it. You're sorry, and I get it. Just don't say anything like that to her again. To anybody, for that matter."

"I'm sorry. I'm embarrassed." She shook her head. "No, I'm mortified. I'm just sorry, Edward, and I wanted you to know."

I could tell she really was, and knew her well enough to realize she had been acting out of character the night before. I just wanted to walk away and forget about it. I didn't care if I never talked to her again. I did like Carole, but I'd lost a lot of respect for her, and I really was pissed that she'd upset Bella. I opened my mouth to say something, but felt familiar pressure on my back just before the warmth and scent of my girl filled my senses. I glanced down warily at Bella, hoping she wouldn't be even more pissed—or, God forbid, upset—that I was talking to Carole. Plus, I wasn't sure what she'd do. My girl got riled when she caught other girls bugging me, and I'd be a liar if I didn't admit it kind of turned me on to see her forget her tendency toward being shy and let her possessive streak fly.

"Edward." I couldn't read the tone of her voice as she said my name, and the expression on her face was composed as she stared at Carole. Her hand slid caressingly from my back over my shoulder, lingering on my bicep before she hooked her elbow around mine and hugged it to her side.

It was interesting to see Carole's face turn red, while Bella's was smooth and white, completely calm.

"Bella, this is Carole. She was just apologizing for last night."

Bella tipped her head and arched a brow in a cool and condescending manner. I wondered if it was wrong that I was getting hard. She was just so amazing.

"Really," she drawled.

"I am so, so sorry, Bella. I let myself drink way too much and get too upset about breaking up with my boyfriend. You know, the jerk that sat at the table last night and made the comment about…well, the comment." Carole grimaced and glanced quickly at me before meeting Bella's gaze earnestly. "I know you have no reason to believe me, but I really am sorry about what I said and my actions last night. Edward was just giving me hell about it, and you can, too, if you want. I deserve it."

Bella smiled, a shallow curve that barely moved her lips. "That's okay. I have a hard time recalling anything from that early in the night. The rest of our evening back at the hotel, just the two of us, was so much more memorable." The smile she turned up to me was more genuine. "Thank you, but think nothing of it. I didn't."

Carole grinned wryly. "Well, thanks for listening. Have a good night. Good-bye, Edward. Bella."

She turned and walked away, and I shook my head, slipping my arms around Bella's waist. "You're something."

"Let her eat her heart out." She leaned up on tiptoe and kissed me, and I took it deep, bringing my hands up to frame her face and parting my mouth over hers. I started out slow, with long easy dips and licks, but soon got caught up in my own game. I was so damn lucky to have her. She was amazing and understanding, and she loved me.

I was reminded of the intentions I'd had earlier that morning, when it had just been the two of us in the hotel room. I glanced at my watch and noted that we had enough time before the celebration at midnight to disappear unnoticed for a little while.

"Come on." I took her hand and led her toward the elevators. Her eyes widened in surprise, but she followed me willingly, leaning up against my chest once we hit the button for our floor, kissing me and making me groan.

But paybacks were a bitch, and I played to win. I opened the door to our unoccupied room, taking her shoulders once we were inside and I'd turned the lock. I pushed her gently against the door, face first, and she made an inquiring sound as she turned her head to look at me. I took her hands and placed them against the door next to her head, leaning my weight into her much smaller form, touching her from butt to shoulders. She let out an excited hiss of breath and relaxed, enjoying the pressure. She liked playing my little sexual games, and thank fuck for that. It turned me on like almost nothing else.

Except maybe those white crotchless panties she'd worn the night before. I eased away, and she held the position I'd impressed on her. Her cheek rested against the smooth surface of the door, fingers flexing anxiously into the surface on either side of her head. Lowering myself to my knees behind her, I undid her pants and let them slither down her legs, somewhat disappointed to see she had on a pair of purple underwear, not the white ones I'd been hoping to see. She made a noise, and I looked up to see her eyes closed and a smile curving the side of her mouth that wasn't pressed against the door.

"Not the white ones," she murmured, echoing my thoughts. "You know what we did in those last night. I'm not wearing them again until they're washed."

"Bummer," I whispered against her skin. She shivered as I drew my hands over her calves, along her thighs, cupping the round, generous curve of her ass and squeezing in appreciation.

"I'll wear them to school," she said, her smile deepening as she felt me jerk against her. "And a skirt. I'll wear them under a skirt on assembly day, during the pep rally. No one will be paying attention to us with everything going on. I'll undo your fly, and sit right…in…your…lap."

"Jesus, Bella." I didn't know whether to laugh, moan, beg, slobber, or plead with her. Just the thought… Just the thought. Fucking hell.

My hands were slightly unsteady as I peeled the thin purple material off her, down to her ankles where she stepped out of them. I rolled the knee-high stockings off and dropped them on the floor, turning back to the smooth slope of her ass. I bit gently, and she shivered. I took her hips in my hands and turned her to face me, pressing my mouth to her belly and then lower. She sighed, expressing delight, discomfort, and desire with that one long exhale. I licked, separating the soft, slick skin, finding her scorching hot, damp, and musky-beautiful. Her knees wobbled as I explored and enjoyed with my lips and tongue until I stood slowly, steadying her when she swayed against me. I lifted her, carrying her to the bed and laying her gently on the pulled-back sheets, and settled myself between her legs for some long, slow, serious business.

Her thighs tensed and clasped, her hips rose and rolled, pushing against my teeth and tongue until she shuddered, crying out with sharp, keening wails. I lay my head on her leg when she finally relaxed, panting slightly, feeling smug and satisfied with a job well done.

"You growl when I do that," I said once her breathing had evened out and she lay in a motionless heap.

"Do not," she managed to say after a minute, sounding surprised and embarrassed at the same time.

"Yep. Do too. When I hit that spot right…here." I grinned and watched my finger stroke through wet, swollen flesh, nudging and searching until I hit her sweet spot. She arched and groaned, and…yep. Growled deep in her throat.

"Oh, God," she gasped after I'd proved my point. "Oh, my God, that feels so good."

"Does it now?" I wrapped my hands around her thighs, just above her knees, and spread her wide, holding her open, replacing my fingers on that particular spot with my tongue. She struggled briefly, but was soon growling and rumbling and gasping, writhing in my firm hold until she came again.

"Happy New Year to me," she murmured with a grin some time later.

I glanced at the clock and groaned, knowing we had to get back downstairs to the party. I shifted, adjusting my hard-on to a somewhat more comfortable position in my pants. Bella opened one eye and watched with interest.

"What are you going to do with that?" she asked, nodding toward my crotch.

I pressed my head back into the pillow, tensing my jaw and willing the straining erection I was sporting to die. "I've got on dark pants. No one will notice." Maybe. Probably. If I waited an hour or so.

She snorted laughter and rolled to her side, reaching out and grabbing hold of me through my pants. I jumped and moaned again. "Bella…"

"Grab a condom, pal. There's no way you're going downstairs like that. It's positively indecent. Delicious." She licked her lips, and my dick twitched under her hand. She laughed in delight. "But indecent."

She flopped back onto the bed, spreading her arms and legs wide. "Let's go, Sport. Have at it."

I was laughing as I slid into her, laughing and groaning as I came, and smiling against her mouth as I kissed her thoroughly at midnight that New Year's Eve. It was one of the best I ever had.


	23. Chapter 23: Chippy

**SM, not mine.**

**Thank you to my betas SunKing and Sarahsumbrella.**

**Thank you guys for taking the time to read, and for the great reviews. Still not able to reply, but appreciating them all the more.**

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**CHAPTER 23: Chippy**

We returned to Forks and the new semester at school after our New Year's trip. My high school hockey season continued to go well, and I began to prepare for league play. I stepped up the intensity of my practices and began working with a trainer based out of Vancouver. The Internet was a wonderful thing. I had already decided not to participate in the NHL Entry Draft in June, but I wanted to be conditioned and prepared as if I was. The last game of the regular season was coming soon, and I was uptight about it for a number of reasons. We had secured first place in our league, which gave our team an automatic trip to the semi-finals of the state playoffs, but we couldn't take anything for granted. The hardest part of the season was when it was coming to a close, and we'd done well. It was too easy to rest on what we had achieved and forget there was still some serious hockey left to play. The last game was against Port Angeles High, who had a really strong team, and would be our most difficult. Win or lose we were going to the playoffs, but beating PA would prove we could compete against the better teams in the state.

I had a personal issue with one of the members of the team. James Lucard played for Port Angeles, and there was an animosity between us that went much further and was much more serious than just an inter-school sports rivalry. He had been the person who Jasper, Bill, Rick, and I had found beating the hell out of that girl in a back alley in Port Angeles after a hockey game my freshman year. He and I had never gotten along even before that incident. He'd always had a problem with me, whether it was jealousy, envy, or just plain dislike on his part, ever since we were kids and played against each other in the Pee Wee league.

His animosity grew to really crazy levels after the horrific scene in that alley. The other guys had been there and involved in stopping him and all the shit that happened afterward—the police and the eventual dropping of the charges—but he'd focused all of his hatred on me. I knew it was some sort of sick, irrational jealousy, but it didn't make me any more comfortable with the situation. I'd had a hard time with what we'd seen in that alley, and my dad had set up a series of appointments with a friend of his, a psychiatrist, who helped me work through the resulting nightmares and control issues. I'd always been a bit of a control freak, but after that, it had escalated to some concerning levels. Aro explained to me that it was a natural reaction to a situation I couldn't control, and he'd helped me work through the worst of it. I hadn't felt the need to see Aro in a long time, but playing against Lucard always brought those old concerns back to me.

I wasn't particularly scared of Lucard. I wasn't a one hundred pound teenage girl, and I could take care of myself. What worried me were his unpredictability and the possibility of others getting in the way of his crazy. I didn't want Bella involved in the situation at all. I couldn't bear it if something happened to her because of my problem with James Lucard. My mom and dad had talked to Chief Taylor—and Chief Swan—since the incident, but Lucard had restricted his violence to socially acceptable places like the hockey rink, so there wasn't much we could do.

The night before the game I was tense and worried, and I knew Bella could tell. I wanted to talk to her about it, tell her what happened, but I just couldn't. I had every intention of telling her the story, but when it came down to it, I just couldn't expose her to that kind of ugliness. Telling her would bring her into it, and I couldn't bear the thought. It didn't make sense, but I was physically unable to make the words come out of my mouth, even as my mind told me it was something she needed to know. It had unfortunately had quite an effect on me back then, and it was something that was natural to share with someone who was as close to me as Bella. But I just couldn't. Maybe I did need to talk to Aro about it, probably sooner than later.

I spent the day of the game with Bella, Jasper, and Alice. I had to leave early to dress and warm up, but Jasper would be bringing the girls in my car so we could go to the party afterward like we usually did. Dad drove me to the rink, and as soon as I got in the car with him, I could tell he was a little tense. I knew the reason why, and lost whatever the ease that I had achieved hanging out with my friends. Fucking James Lucard.

My hand fisted on my thigh. It went against everything in me not to fight against the injustice, the unfairness, the fact that I was the one that was in the right, but it didn't matter. I was the one that would have to be careful and to back down, because he was crazy. I didn't realize I'd said anything out loud until Dad's low voice broke through the turmoil of my thoughts.

"It goes against everything in me to let you out there with him, knowing he'll try to pick a fight with you. Try to hurt you." I was taken aback by the intensity in his voice and the way his knuckles tightened to whiteness on the steering wheel. "You've got to be smart, Edward. Don't let him ruin everything you've worked so hard for. I know it isn't fair, but that's life sometimes. It's only a high school game, a couple of hours, and then he'll go back to the hole he crawled out of in Port Angeles. I know it's not going to be easy, but keep it together until the game's over, okay?"

"Yeah." I scowled out of the window. The whole situation just sucked. I hated that bastard, not only for what he'd done—what he was capable of doing—but also for the fact he was still fucking with my life.

"I've already talked to Coach Eleazar, so—"

"Dad," I protested, embarrassed. I didn't want this to be a big deal. It pissed me off that it had to be a big deal.

"And Charlie—Chief Swan—is going to be there," he continued, ignoring me. "We're not expecting any more trouble than him trying to engage you on the ice, but he'll be there just in case."

"I haven't told Bella," I murmured, turning my head to stare out the window again. "I don't know how to tell her. I don't know how to talk about it."

There was a prolonged silence, and I glanced at him. He was scowling as he drove. "Do you… Do you want to talk to Aro? Do you need to?"

I sighed, staring at my hands in my lap. I didn't want to. I didn't want to need to, but as it had been since it had first happened, it was out of my control.

"Maybe," I allowed. As difficult as it was to remember, to put it all into words, I should be able to, and certainly with someone I trusted and loved as much as Bella. "Probably. But I can't think about it right now. After the game. After the playoffs. I just…not right now."

Dad's head jerked in a nod. "Okay. You let me know, Edward. And please be careful tonight."

"I will." He glanced at me, and I gave him a wry smile. "I will."

I got more warnings to be cautious in the locker room. The other guys knew there was something between Lucard and me, but only Bill and Rick knew the full truth.

"Got your back, man," Bill murmured as we got ready to go out onto the ice.

"Thanks." I knew he did. I knew they all did. It didn't matter that my teammates didn't fully understand what was going on, all they needed to know was that Lucard wanted to start something with me, and they immediately closed ranks.

I wouldn't let Lucard's craziness affect my game. I'd give my full attention to playing and beating the other team. I was faster, stronger, and a lot smarter than he was, even if he did have me on insanity, unpredictability, and violence. I'd just have to use my head and try my best to keep my cool. I wouldn't let that moron trick me into doing anything stupid and ruining my excellent future. The bastard wasn't worth it, no matter what he pulled. I took a deep breath and jumped out onto the ice, the usual feelings of calm and rightness sweeping over me as my blades glided over the slick surface. The cool air and familiar sights and scents filled my mind, leaving no room for worry about Lucard. I knew my abilities and what I was capable of on the ice with absolute certainty. Lucard wasn't even in the same league.

I was able to avoid him fairly well through the first period. I was on my team's first line, while the other team had Lucard on their third line. I was able to get a decent amount of time on the ice before he came on, and when he did, Coach would call Bill and me in for a short break. They managed to score, and Coach nodded to me. I went out for longer shifts to defend and keep the puck out of our end so that our forwards had better chances to get it in the net. I was only on the ice with Lucard for a few minutes, but he lived up to my expectations, trying to taunt me. Like I'd fall for a little trash talk. I mean, bitch, _please._

He was on my ass mercilessly, but I was satisfied to note that he had a hard time keeping up. He had to resort to cheap hits and slashes, most of which were ridiculously easy to avoid. I could certainly take a hit, so the ones I wasn't able to evade completely barely registered except for the irritation that he was able to hide most of them from the refs. Trying to mess with me took his concentration away from the puck and the game, and I used that to my advantage.

I outplayed and outsmarted the bastard. He was getting frustrated when I didn't respond to his taunts but only played harder and smarter against him. I managed to make a couple of nice plays, which made me feel smug and confident, assisting on two goals in the second period to give our team a two to one lead. During the third period, his persistence in trying to goad me to the exclusion of all else finally allowed me the opening I'd been looking for. I intercepted a pass in our zone and caught their guys napping. Adrenaline surged through me, and everything just felt right as I handled the puck smoothly, skating into their zone all alone and watching their goalie intently. He went down, I went up, and hit the top shelf for a sick goal.

Oh, it felt good. I was still out in front of the net all by myself, but I knew the celebration was coming. I enjoyed the satisfaction and triumph, giving a whoop and a salute with my stick. I was expecting my teammates to tackle me in congratulations, but what I felt was a jarring blow from behind, a solid but cheap shot with a stick up high, just at my shoulders blades. It was a hit designed to send me flying with the maximum amount of force, and it succeeded. My head snapped against my pads and my helmet went flying. I tried to catch myself as I stumbled forward, but I'd been taken by surprise. I went down hard, rapping my head on the ice. I felt the impact reverberate through my skull as I slowly rose to my hands and knees.

_Fucking Lucard_.

My vision blurred from the sweat dripping into my eyes, and I gave my head a vicious shake to clear it. Fury coursed through me, and I forgot about staying cool and calm. It was a cheap-ass hit, catching me unaware and unable to protect myself. It was deliberate and brutal, and I lost my temper.

I jumped to my feet and tossed my gloves in the same motion, rage roaring through me. Screw being calm and reasonable. The fucker was going down. I was bigger, stronger, and quicker, and caught him with a satisfyingly solid roundhouse. It was expertly placed to avoid the hard plastic of his helmet and send it flying so I could connect with his jaw. Now we were both bare-headed, and I took advantage of my superior skills as I grabbed his jersey and pulled it over his head, immobilizing his arms, and pounded the shit out of him.

Equal amounts of anger and glee filled me. No way was I going to let him get away with those cheap ass hits. I struggled furiously against the hands, sticks, and arms trying to separate us. I managed to shake the first few off, but there were too many, and they managed to swing me away from Lucard's hunched form. I was still too caught up in my rage to listen to the refs that had a hold of me as I fought to get at him and finish him off. I lunged against the restraining hands, wiping the sweat from my eyes, and suddenly realized it wasn't sweat. There was literally blood in my eye.

_Shit_. I must have cracked my head open when I hit the ice. With that awareness, stinging pain made itself known, and I growled, doubling my efforts to get at him.

"Cullen! That's enough. Enough, got it?" Coach grabbed my shoulders and whirled me toward the bench. "You're bleeding. Locker room, now!"

He glared into my face until reason returned. I nodded, reaching up and grimacing when I felt the cut and the blood that was pouring down my face and onto my jersey. Head wounds bled like a bitch, and I'd had enough of them to know this one was going to need stitches. _Great_. I wanted back out on the ice. I wanted to prove I could still outplay anybody out there, but I knew Coach would use the injury as an excuse to keep me out of the game.

_Fucking Lucard_.

I stormed down the corridor that led to the locker room, snarling at anyone who crossed my path. My temper was legendary. I rarely ever lost it, but when it went, it was best to just keep to myself until I calmed down. I shoved open the door with a bang and threw my stick across the room. It hit the wall and clattered to the floor, but it didn't help. I wanted to punch something, but enough reason had returned that I wouldn't risk an injury just because I was pissed.

"Feel better?"

I whirled around, my fists coming up, just looking for an excuse. My dad stood behind me, one brow arched as he watched me calmly. I took a couple of deep breaths and flung myself onto the bench in front of my stall, putting my elbows on my knees and gripping my hair as I forced the anger out of my system. Dad walked over and grabbed my chin, lifting my face and turning it back and forth in the light, examining the cut that was still dripping blood into my eye. Our team trainer walked in, but stopped and hovered on the other side of the room when he saw my glare and the fact that my dad was checking me.

"It's not too bad. Going to need stitches." Dad walked over to the trainer and they had a short discussion before he sent me a smile and a thumbs-up before leaving the room. Dad headed toward the showers, returning with a wet towel. He started to wipe my face, but just shrugged when I grabbed it from him. I could clean myself, damn it.

The blood had matted in my eyelashes, and I scrubbed at it, getting most off my forehead and cheek before wiping ineffectually at my jersey, smearing streaks of red all over myself. Dad made an impatient noise and took the towel, cleaning the blood with professional efficiency.

"I can stitch you here, but it's a pretty good sized gash. It would leave less of a scar to do it at the hospital if you think you can get there in the next couple of hours."

I let out a harsh breath, leaning back against the stall as the last of the blinding anger left me. "Just bandage it up. I'll swing by the hospital after the game. Will you stitch it?"

He nodded, checking the lump that had risen under the cut and then my eyes. "How do you feel? Concussion?"

"No." I shook my head to prove it. "Just really, really pissed."

I gritted my teeth as he continued to do a cursory exam. He nodded to himself, satisfied that I was okay, because, I mean, why would he actually believe me when I told him I was? Of course he had to check for himself. He glanced at my face, and I saw a smile twitch at his mouth.

"Well, finish the game, and then I'll see you at the hospital. I'd better get back to your mother and let her know you're okay, otherwise she'll be storming the gates like nothing they've ever seen. She's going to want to fuss over you when you get home, and my advice is to let her. It will go easier on both of us in the long run if you do. She's worried about you." He paused for a beat. "We both are. I'm glad you're okay."

"Thanks, Dad," I murmured as he taped the cut closed with a small bandage out of the trainer's kit. He gave me a quick rub to the top of my head and left.

I got up and gingerly touched the bandaged cut. I knew there was no way Coach was going to let me back out onto the ice. There wasn't that much time left in the game, which was a small consolation, but I took a deep breath and headed back to the bench to support my teammates.


	24. Chapter 24: Laying On The Lumber

**SM, not me.**

**Sarahsumbrella and SunKing beta - thank you, ladies.**

**And thank you for reading and taking the time to leave your thoughts and comments!**

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**CHAPTER 24: Laying On The Lumber**

We won the game, and Lucard got thrown out with a game misconduct for that cheap fucking hit. Both served to help with my temper only a little bit, so I stayed out on the bench afterward to let Coach berate and congratulate me. I'd purposefully waited until almost all of the other guys left the locker room before I headed back, as my anger was still too fresh to talk rationally to any of them. I didn't let my temper get the best of me often, and they knew me well enough to leave me the fuck alone when it did.

I finished undressing, stripping off my pads and the undershirt and leaving only my compression pants. I searched through my scattered belongings for my shower bag. The only person I wanted to see right then was Bella. I knew she'd be worried about me, and that spiked my anger again. I didn't want her to worry about anything, and the fact that she would be upset was another thing I could lay at the feet of James Lucard.

Crowley came around the corner, dressed in his street clothes and carrying his bag over his shoulder. He and I were the last two people left in the locker room. He froze when he saw me, and then continued forward with careful, deliberate steps. It was as if he'd unexpectedly come upon a rabid dog and was trying to continue on his way without getting bit. It would have been funny if I weren't the rabid dog in the scenario.

"Um, hey, Cullen," he said in an overly cheerful voice. "I'll, um…see you later?" He started moving sideways toward the door, keeping his back to the wall.

"Later, Crowley," I muttered, still looking for my shower bag. I spun back around as a thought occurred to me. He froze, his eyes wide and his hand raised to push open the door. I shook my head at the fearful expression on his face. "Hey, if you happen to see Bella out there, send her in, will you? She's probably worried."

I reached up to touch the stupid bandage over my eye, wondering if I could get it wet to wash my hair. Didn't matter, I decided. I was going to anyway.

"Oh." Tyler heaved in a relieved breath. "Yeah. Okay. I will." He bolted out the door.

"Thanks," I murmured, standing with my hands on my hips as I surveyed the mess in front of my stall. The stupid shower bag had to be there somewhere. I dug through my equipment duffel, which was where it should be, but I couldn't find it. I dumped everything out onto the floor in frustration. When I still didn't see it, I started throwing things behind me, using this as a sorting method. Had I already taken it into the showers? I didn't think so, but I'd been so pissed when I came back to the lockers after the game ended that I might not remember. I stomped into the shower area, poking my head into every stall, but no bag. I even went into the toilets, but still nothing. I growled in frustration, feeling the tenuous hold I'd managed to regain on my wicked temper start to slip. Fucking hell, I just wanted a shower, Bella, and some food, and not in that particular order.

I was cursing under my breath as I started back to my locker, ready to grab a towel and rinse the sweat and anger from my body. I had to find my jeans and shirt, and my shoes. _Fuck_! I came around the corner and skidded to a halt, seeing a feminine figure standing by my scattered clothes and equipment. My heart gave a glad leap before I realized the form was too tall, too foreign, too…blonde. Strawberry blonde. Christ, would the night's fuckery never end?

"What the hell are you doing here, Tanya?" I gritted from between my teeth as I continued toward my stall. It was the absolute last fucking straw. The last thing I needed was Bella walking in and seeing this shit. Tanya sneaking in, and me…almost…naked. _Oh, fuck_. I stopped in my tracks, only a few feet separating us. Tanya wouldn't…would she? Yeah, she would.

She smiled, tipping her head, her gaze taking in my almost bare body. "I just wanted to see if you were okay. You took quite a hit out there tonight."

"I'm fine, Tanya. You shouldn't be in here. You need to leave. Now." I watched her warily, knowing what she was up to and why she had slipped into the locker room when she knew I was the only one in there. I gazed at her dispassionately, wondering what the hell I ever saw in her. She was pretty, sure, but the attractive exterior hid the self-centered little cow inside.

She took a step closer to me. I held my ground, giving her a cold stare. I knew I had to get her out of there and quick before Bella came looking for me. After the whole Carole thing in California, I didn't think she would put up with another girl from my past getting into my shit. Not that there were that many, for Chrissake, but damn if they didn't seem to be constantly shoved in our faces. Bella shouldn't have to put up with it, and I imagined she'd tear both Tanya and me to pieces if she walked in on us at that moment. I wouldn't blame her, and I really, really wanted Tanya out of there, but the thought of Bella going all smackdown caused a hot thrill to shoot through me. Tanya was close enough to see the reaction, but misunderstood the reason.

"Edward," she purred, taking a step toward me until she was almost up against my chest. I grimaced at the thought of her touching me anywhere, let alone on my bare skin, and I grabbed her arms to stop her from getting any closer. My head spun around in slow motion as I heard the locker room door open and soft footsteps enter the room. I knew it could be only one person even before I saw her. Bella.

The look of sorrow and shock that crossed her face the instant before anger took over broke my damn heart. I never wanted to be the cause of that look on Bella's face. I never wanted to hurt her, but the way things had been going… My serious lack of judgment regarding my past romantic entanglements was coming back to bite me in the ass. That was fine, I deserved it, but it was also biting Bella, which really fucking wasn't okay.

"Sorry." Bella's voice was cold and flat as she met my eyes with a dismissive flick before focusing on Tanya. I tasted bile in my throat as I shoved her away from me, but I knew it was too late. I'd hurt my girl, and that was unacceptable.

Bella made some reference to taking out the trash, which was actually pretty accurate, before she spun on her heel and stalked out of the room. I called after her in desperation, anger, and fear, but I could hear her rapid footsteps fading down the hall. She didn't even stay and confront us like she normally would. _Oh, shit_.

I felt Tanya put her hand on my back, and the precarious control I had regained over my temper snapped. I was tired of being ambushed by her, the sly touches, the flirting. Bella had already told her off once, and it looked like I was going to have to make things perfectly clear. She'd really picked the wrong night to push things.

I whirled on her, forcing her to take a step back. "Get your fucking hands off me, Tanya, and don't ever even think of putting them on me again. You don't get to touch me. You don't even get to speak to me."

"But—"

"No." My voice was low and calm. It got that way when I was really, really pissed. She took another step back. I was trying to reign in the fury that coursed through me, left over from the on-ice confrontation with Lucard and from what had just happened. "You don't even deserve to be in the same space as Bella. She's worth one hundred of you, Tanya, and she means the world to me. Get it through your head. She's the one I want. She's the one I've always wanted. I love her. She makes me feel like I can do anything, be anything, as long as she loves me, too. You just make me feel ashamed I ever associated with you."

Her eyes were wide with shock. "Edward—"

"I don't have any time for your stupid shit, Tanya, so let me make this clear. If you come near Bella or me again, I'll end you at Forks High. I can do it—you know I can. Just leave us alone. No more accidental meetings, no more talking to me, no more even looking in my direction or hers. We'll just go our separate ways. If not, I can make sure your junior and senior years are absolutely fucking miserable. Do you get me?"

She nodded once, quickly, and I turned my back on her. She wasn't important; Bella was. I realized everything I'd said to Tanya was true. Bella meant everything to me. Now I just had to tell _her_ that. She had every right to be pissed, but I was determined to keep at her until she listened. I'd beg, grovel, plead… I would do everything in my power to make her see what she meant to me.

I ran out of the locker room, knowing Bella couldn't have gotten far. She didn't know her way around the arena very well, and she certainly wouldn't leave without calling my ass on the carpet first. I'd deserve it, every second, every word, because this was completely my fault. I only hoped she could forgive me. I hoped that she wasn't so mad that she wouldn't listen, that she wouldn't be able to overlook—one more time—a mistake from my dating past. It was a horrible, deadening feeling, knowing something I'd done was causing her pain and that there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. I couldn't change my past. It terrified me and made me frantic. I wanted to be in control, I wanted to fix it, but I wasn't sure if I could. Uncertainty was my kryptonite and I hated it, because it made me feel weak. I could only hope she still saw me as her superhero.

I heard the click of a latch closing, and frowned in confusion. There were only a couple of doors in this corridor, and I knew for a fact one of them was a janitor's closet. The other was the equipment room. What the hell would Bella be doing in there? I jogged to the door and pushed it open, stepping inside. She stood with her back to me, fists pressed to her temples, and her entire body stiff with tension.

"Bella…" I began, but had no idea what to say. How did I fix this? How could I explain what happened? How could I make her believe nothing _had_ happened? I stammered, trying to come up with something that would cut through all the bullshit and not sound absolutely fucking ridiculous. I realized that was impossible, because it was fucking ridiculous.

She finally whirled around to face me, and she was _mad_. Shit. But the next words out of her mouth surprised the hell out of me.

"You think I don't know she was trying to set you up, that dumbass, conniving little red-headed bitch?" she fumed, glaring at me.

I just stared at her, knowing my mouth was probably hanging open in astonishment. What the… Huh? She _knew_ Tanya was setting me up? She wasn't mad? Pissed? Furious and disappointed in me?

"You know?" I repeated incredulously. My mind was whirling. Everything was starting to feel a little surreal. Maybe it was just my adrenaline crash.

She snorted at me. Snorted. "Give me a break, Edward. I think I know by now what you look like when you're turned on and what you look like when you're pissed. That was your pissed face."

I ran my hand over my face, wondering if I had walked into an alternate universe. "My pissed face." I was repeating her words because I had none of my own.

She kind of went off on Tanya after that—and me, a little. But she wasn't mad about seeing Tanya with me, she was mad that I thought she'd fallen for Tanya's crap. I wasn't sure that made sense, but I was too busy being relieved she knew Tanya had set me up, that I hadn't wanted her there or had anything to do with her being there. When she started calling her a "stupid little crackhead whore," I almost lost it.

"Bella." I tried to break into her tirade. I was pretty sure laughing right now would be a bad idea. Thankfully it worked. She stopped pacing and throwing her arms around to look at me.

"Huh?"

Her cheeks were flushed, hair a mess, eyes sparking, mouth open and panting in her anger. Holy hell, she looked like a rampaging goddess. I couldn't suppress the smile creeping across my face or the twitching of my cock. I fought both. There was no way I could hide an erection clad only in my compression pants. I didn't think letting her see I was getting hard when she was so pissed was such a good idea.

"God, you're hot when you're mad." I held my breath as I heard the words leave my mouth and watched her warily. Shit. She just stared at me. The expression on her face changed, going from red and riled up to kind of blank and shocked. Her eyes traveled from my face down to my toes. She narrowed her eyes and looked a little intense. Really, oh shit. I figured she was trying to pick which part of me she was going to rip off first. I tried to backpedal. "What?"

Her eyes focused down around my waist, and I shifted uncomfortably. She was totally going to rip my balls off—I knew it. I was doomed.

"Bella, what?" Her gaze shot to mine, and I couldn't read the look on her face at all. A sudden and horrifying thought occurred to me as her eyes widened, and she lowered them quickly. "You aren't going to cry, are you?"

Oh, crap. If she started crying… If I made her cry… My stomach did a free-fall.

I had no warning when she jumped me. I instinctively caught her, still half-worried she was going to take a swipe at my nuts, but then her mouth was on mine, her tongue slipping behind my lips, her hands sliding down to grab my ass. This was much better than her taking a swing at me, I thought dimly before I lost myself in the heat of her mouth. She was straining against me, her tongue aggressive and seeking, and I don't ever remember going from being worried and upset to turned on so quickly in my life.

She eventually slowed, her mouth leaving mine reluctantly with a soft, wet sound. "Jesus Christ, Edward," she breathed, looking into my eyes. "What do you have on?"

I couldn't do anything but gasp for breath, all my superior conditioning be damned. Jesus, I was rock hard, and there would be no missing that in the thin, close-fitting nylon pants I was wearing. I stared at her face, inches from mine, and tried to control the urge to take her right then, right there, standing in the middle of the fucking equipment room. I was such a bastard.

She met my gaze, not looking away for many long seconds, and then a close-lipped smile turned the corners of her full mouth. "Now that's your turned-on face," she said in a very satisfied tone.

My turned-on face. Fucking hell. She looked so pleased with herself. I couldn't help but chuckle, my love for her expanding in my chest. She rubbed up against me, and my cock jumped, but we were in a semi-public place in the ice arena. She rubbed against me again, her eyes going soft and needy like they did when she wanted me. Jesus, she wanted… One more little involuntary jerk of her hips, and I knew. She wanted me.

"Fucking hell, Bella. Shut up." I started stripping the clothes from her body. My turned-on face. I'd show her turned on.

The jacket was easy to pull down her arms and toss on the floor. My fingers went to the small buttons on the shirt she wore, and her black bra—the one with the pretty little delicate red bows on it—came into view. It stood out in stark relief against her pale skin, and I couldn't help but press my lips to the smooth, flat spot between her breasts, inhaling the perfume of her heated skin. She had such a particular scent when she was aroused. I savored it, breathing deep and letting her essence settle through me, centering me, before I nipped at the little clasp that held the cups together. She made a noise I felt right down to the base of my cock and ran her fingers up my bare sides to tangle in my hair. It was my turn to make a noise.

"God, yes," she moaned as I nudged the right cup of the bra aside with my nose and took the tip of her breast in my mouth.

Desire rose sharp and biting at the sound of her pleasure, as it always did. Her skin was so soft, so perfect, the hard point of her nipple contrasting deliciously on my tongue. I pulled it into my mouth, covering as much of her as I could. I pulled her up against my chest, bending her lithe body back over my arm as I switched to her other breast, wanting to hear her moan, needing her soft gasps and encouraging tugs on my hair. She bucked against me, bringing her legs around my waist, and I braced against her full weight as she writhed and rubbed. I could feel the heat of her through her jeans and my thin pants.

"Edward," she whispered.

A hot, dark thrill shot through me at the sound of my name on her lips, breathed in that husky, desperate, wanting tone. She rolled her head back as I continued to suck and nip at her breasts, the flesh soft and resilient in my mouth and against my teeth. She bucked her hips again, causing me to stagger as I instinctively returned the pressure. I had to be inside her. I was dimly concerned with the fact that she might not be ready for sex in a public place, but her legs tightened around my waist, her fingers tightened in my hair, and she let out the most fucking amazing moan I have ever heard in my life. I knew she was with me, all the way.

I stepped forward, juggling her as I headed for a wall, a table, a bench…something, _anything_ that I could brace against to get the rest of the clothes off her. I wasn't so far gone to think the floor would be even close to a viable option. My shins hit the wooden bench along the back wall, and I lifted my head from her breasts to take her mouth as we both grunted with the slight impact. I couldn't get enough of her. I gave her my tongue, my teeth, my hands, touching every inch of her I could reach. I cupped her ass and slid my hands slid down to grab the backs of her thighs, bringing her hard against me, grinding my hips into hers. I needed to touch her skin. She read my mind, not that it was hard to do at that point. I was focused and determined to meet my goal.

"My jeans," she gasped into my mouth. "Off."

I was only too happy to oblige. We both struggled to get rid of her top, and I grappled with her flailing arms and twisting torso, doing my best to hang on and not drop her.

"Now," she whimpered, finally wriggling out of the thick cotton henley. "Please!"

I lowered her to the bench, bending over her, my hands going to the button on her jeans. I was hard and throbbing, and I needed to be inside her as soon as possible. She shivered as I tugged the denim over the flare of her hips, and my eyes flew to hers to make sure it was a shiver of pleasure and not of discomfort. She was leaning back against the bench, her eyes heavy-lidded, lips swollen and parted, breath panting in and out of her lungs. I growled as another surge of lust and desire surged through my body. I took a deep breath to try to regain some control so I didn't just throw her down and plunge into her. She probably thought I was some sort of goddamn caveman. Hell, I was acting like a caveman. I felt like Tarzan the fucking Ape Man. What the hell was wrong with me?

I carefully, deliberately raised my hands to her white shoulders, forcing my hands to go slow, be gentle as I slipped the straps of her bra over the smooth slopes. As I brought the material down her arms, a condom slipped out of the cup that still covered one breast. I stared at it for a brief second, shock stilling my motions. It wasn't that she had one in her bra, as I knew she'd started carrying one there after Emmett's little scene at Christmas. She refused to put one in her pocket in case she forgot it. I was shocked because using a condom had not entered my mind, not at all, not even remotely, for the first time in my entire life. I reached out with shaking fingers and grabbed the plastic square as it slid down the curve of her breast and held it in my fist, still a little freaked.

I thought being safe, protecting us both, being responsible was so ingrained in me I'd sooner forget to eat as forget to use a condom. I stared down at her, bare and open before me, and I almost forgot the plastic square again as the urge to just _take her_ washed over me. I threw her clothes over my shoulder without a second thought and stripped off my pants, hurriedly ripping and rolling the condom over my aching erection. I hissed softly at the feel of my own fingers dragging along my hard length, and then I was kneeling between her knees, gripping and raising them slightly. I had just enough sense left to make sure she was ready to take me, sliding the fingers of one hand gently between her legs, a shiver ripping through me as I felt how hot, how wet she was. I may have almost forgotten the rubber, but I could never be so far gone that I would hurt my girl.

I gripped her knees again. Knowing she was ready, I couldn't stop that first forceful thrust into her heat, into her body…into her. She cried out, her back arching and her hands grabbing at my forearms as she tried to pull me even farther inside her. The air left my lungs at the primal sound and the intense, searing pleasure of her soft heat, her tight flesh surrounding my cock, my hips, my body, my soul. I leaned forward, sliding my arms under her legs until the backs of her knees rested in the crooks of my elbows, pushing up, forcing her legs higher and farther apart. She shrieked again and shuddered, her head falling back and her hands grabbing at my shoulders as I lowered my head to take a nipple into my mouth. I needed to feel her everywhere and bit down with firm, relentless pressure, needing her to feel me everywhere.

I thrust helplessly, I thrust hard, feeling the desperate swirl of emotion that I'd only ever experienced with Bella. She arched her back again, her hands flinging out behind her to grasp the back of the bench. The position allowed me even deeper penetration, and the next stroke into her body almost swallowed me whole. It was everything I had ever wanted, right there before me. I was in awe of her and what she meant to me. The breath froze in her lungs and she went completely silent, just like she always did right before she came, and I was rewarded by the clamping convulsions of her orgasm. I couldn't take my eyes from her face as the pleasure tore through her. I kept them there as my own orgasm incinerated me, my vision going dim around the edges, but her lovely face stayed pure and clear in the center.

Eventually I came back to my senses, finding that my head lay on her chest. At some point, I had taken my eyes from hers, but her image had stayed in my mind the entire time. My arms hung limply, my hands trapped between the backs of her thighs and the hard wooden bench. There was nothing on earth that felt as good as making love with my girl. I rubbed my face against her soft, warm flesh, loving the silken slide against my lips and cheek, thankful I was in a position, both literally and figuratively, to do so. A small chuckle escaped me, and I lifted my head to see her smiling languidly. We both started laughing, and I held her close, knowing there wasn't anyone else on earth that was more perfect for me than this girl. The immense physical and mental relief I felt made me light-headed. I dimly realized that I had just taken her in a semi-public place—in the arena equipment room, for fuck's sake—and she had apparently loved every minute.

"What the fuck was that?" I shook my head, giving her a quick once-over to make sure there were no apparent scrapes, bruises, or other marks on her body. I thought I'd been careful with her—I didn't think I could harm her, even in the depths of my lust—but I had to be sure. "Christ, Bella. Are you okay?"

She had a huge, silly grin on her face, and she reached out to brush my cheek. The tenderness of the gesture stopped my heart. She made a humming noise in affirmation and tilted her head, her eyes and hand going to my forehead. I had completely forgotten about the cut until her fingers traced lightly over the bandage.

"I may need some help getting the splinters out of my ass," she joked.

I ran my hands along her bare torso and she stretched under my hands, a soft purr coming from her throat. My ego swelled at the proof that I had pleased her. I bent down and carefully sank my teeth into the soft, intimate flesh of her thigh, inhaling the warm, musky scent of her spent arousal. I couldn't stop the soft moan as her skin yielded to the press of my mouth.

"I'll pull them out with my teeth," I vowed softly, wanting nothing more than to take lingering bites out of her smooth, round ass.

She laughed. "That ought to be interesting."

Her hand trailed a tingling path across my chest as I straightened on my knees before her. She lay limp and relaxed, and I was thinking about how I'd like to feel her come on my tongue when she sat up suddenly, almost bashing me in my already battered forehead. She looked around us wildly, and mild alarm coursed through me. I wondered if she had suddenly realized where we were, what we had done, and wanted her clothes. They were scattered from where we sprawled on the bench, across the floor, to the door.

"Lose something?" I asked when there was no sign of her relaxing.

"Those—your pants," she gasped, her eyes still searching the floor and the clothing strewn all over. "For God's sake, tell me we didn't lose them and they're still in one piece!"

_What?_ Did she want to put my pants on instead of hers? _Why_? "You suddenly have a thing for sports equipment? Compression pants?"

She placed her hands on either side of my face and gently touched her nose to mine, smiling all the while. My eyes crossed as I tried to read her expression.

"Sweetie," she murmured. "You know how you feel about the garters that match this bra?"

_Oh, God_. The black garters with the tiny blood red bows, the delicate, lacey material against her white, smooth skin, enticing, covering, exposing, like some sort of high class, purely sexual, slightly pornographic, all amazing scene straight from my fantasies. I gulped and felt my cock twitch. I had no idea why my plain black compression pants would turn her on that much, but I wasn't dumb enough to argue. I leaned down and reached behind me, scooping them up off the floor.

"Here they are!" I dropped them in her lap.

She grabbed her bra from where it was hanging from the back of the bench and slipped it over her shoulders. I watched in fascination as she tugged it over the swells of her breasts, cupping and smoothing the material in place. I looked up to see her watching me with satisfaction.

"I thought so," she said smugly.

_Ha_. Two could play this game, and it was a game I could play well. I gave her a hot look from under my brows, lowering my eyelids and smirking in the way I knew accelerated her heartbeat. I pulled out the big guns, recalling one of the fantasies she had confessed to me.

"Hang on to them, mia Bella," I said in a soft, slow drawl. "That's the closest you're ever going to get to Spidey-tights."

Oh, yeah. She clenched her legs together, and I knew I had her with that one. My mind went back to the thought I had earlier of burying my head between her soft thighs, and I started toward her. She made a startled sound and held her hand up in a ridiculous attempt to stop me. She was naked except for her bra as she scrambled from the bench to grab her shirt and clutch it to her chest.

"Oh, no," she said, pulling the henley over her head and scrabbling for her underwear. She hopped on one leg and then the other, hurriedly putting on her underwear—as if that would stop me. "Don't even look at me like that. I mean it, Edward! We can't…you can't… We have to get you to the hospital. Your dad!"

I stalked her, and she was laughing as she darted away, snatching up her jeans as she circled around me and tried to tug them over her legs.

"What about my dad?" I asked in a low, growly voice. I stopped pursuing her. She was trying to get her jeans on, and I figured if she tried to run while doing that she'd give herself a concussion when she fell, and then we'd both need the hospital.

"He's expecting us!" She struggled into her clothes and stopped to face me, her cheeks flushed with amusement. Her eyes widened as she took in my nude form. "You're naked!"

I laughed. "Yeah, I am."

Her eyes were glued to me as I looked for my pants. I grimaced as I picked them up from the floor, knowing trying to pull the clinging material over my damp, sweaty legs was not going to be fun, but I wasn't about to go walking through the arena back to the locker room naked. I managed to get them on, but not without uncomfortable and pinching pulls of the hair on my legs and groin. I glanced over at Bella to see her staring at me with a glazed look in her eye, and smirked.

"Come on," I said, grinning. "I've got to rinse off and get dressed if we're going to the hospital."

"Get dressed," she repeated in a dreamy voice.

"Yeah." I put my hands on my hips and waited for her eyes to meet mine. They were glued somewhere below my neck. I laughed again and scooped her up over my shoulder.

"Edward!" she yelped, slapping my back before her hands slid down to squeeze my ass. I swear to God I felt her teeth close gently on one curve.

I jogged quickly back down the corridor to the locker room. She was giggling and grunting, squirming and slapping at me, but I had a firm grip. I'd never let her go. I held onto her legs as I kicked the door open and walked across the room to the bench in front of my stall, setting her down and taking a step back. She was red-faced, her hair tangled around her, but she was laughing.

"What the hell was that, you fricking Neanderthal?" she gasped, pushing her hair back and trying to pretend to glare at me.

"I'm not letting you out of my sight," I told her. I was still half sure she was going to slap me across the face and storm out for all the Tanya crap.

"Not even when you're in the shower?" she asked with a coy lift to her brows, leaning back on her elbows.

"Not even then," I assured her, bending down to kiss her, caging her with my arms. "I need someone to protect my virtue."

The teasing look was wiped from her face. I frowned and eased away as she bit her lip and sat up, gazing down at her fingers twisting in her lap.

"What?" I asked, wondering at the sudden change in her mood.

She took a quick glance up at me and then lowered her eyes. I frantically thought back over the last few seconds, wondering what changed her attitude so suddenly…oh. Oh, shit.

"I'm sorry, Bella." Damn Tanya, and damn me for ever getting involved with her. Protect my virtue, indeed.

"What did you say to her?" she asked softly. "Tanya, I mean. Did you say anything to her after I…after I saw her in here with you?"

I shut my eyes and rolled my head back, my heart aching at the tone of her voice. I sighed, hating that I'd hurt her. I knew I had, no matter what she said.

"I know she set you up, Edward, I do, but I just wondered…how did she get in here?"

"She must have come in from the ice," I sat next to her, tentatively reaching out to take her hand. My body relaxed in relief when she let me, and I ran my thumb over her smooth knuckles. "There're two entrances to the hall that lead to the locker room, one from the ice and one from the lobby. I think she came around from the ice. I was in the back, looking for my shower bag, and when I came out she was standing here. I swear, I had no idea—"

"I know," she interrupted me softly, putting her hand on my cheek and leaning up to kiss my mouth.

I sighed again in relief, closing my eyes and resting my cheek in her palm. I still couldn't quite comprehend she believed me. Most girls would have instantly thought the worst. Hell, most people of either sex would have thought the worst. My Bella wasn't like most girls, and thank goodness for that. I was just so grateful she knew me so well. It showed the depth of her trust in me, and I was determined I would never give her a reason to doubt me.

"Did she say anything?"

I turned my head to kiss her palm, gazing down at her. "She wanted to cause trouble, Bella. I'm just so, so thankful you saw through her shit. I don't know what I'd do if you thought I…you know I love you, right? That I'd never do anything, want anyone else?"

She nodded, but bit her lip. She looked up at me. "I know, Edward. I do. But what's to stop her from doing it again? She's seriously pissing me off, you know."

I snorted. "I think I made it pretty clear what would happen if she so much as looks at either one of us sideways again."

Her eyes were wide as they met mine. "What did you say?"

"I told her to keep her fucking hands off me. I told her I didn't even want her to speak to me. I told her…I told her I'd make her life miserable at school if she messed with either one of us again. And I'm sorry I told her…"

"What? You're sorry you told her what?" Her brown eyes snapped with annoyance.

I drew in a breath, looking down at our hands. "I'm not sorry I told her, I'm sorry I told _her_."

"Edward," she huffed warningly.

I took both of her hands in mine and met her gaze. "No, I don't mean that. I mean, I'm sorry I told her first, instead of you."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she said gently. I knew she was trying to put her frustration aside.

"I'm sorry. I'm screwing this up, aren't I?" She raised her brow and nodded, and I had to smile. I took another deep breath, and gave her my heart once again. "I told her she didn't deserve to breathe the same air as you, Bella. I told her I love you. I said you meant the world to me, and I meant every word. I said as long as you loved me I could do anything, be anything. You give me that power. It's the best feeling in the world when I'm with you. You know I love you, but I really don't think you know how much. And she heard it first, not you. That isn't right. That's what I'm sorry for."

I looked at her and saw a tear trickle down her cheek. I panicked. Seeing me with Tanya, alone and practically naked in the locker room hadn't brought her to tears, but my confessing how much I loved her did. I grabbed her and pulled her to me, squeezing her, wrapping my arms around her. I wouldn't let her go until she believed me. I'd make her believe me.

"Bella," I groaned. I wondered how long I could crush her to me—until she suffocated? That would be fantastic, I thought sarcastically. "Bella, please don't cry."

"I'll cry if I want to," she told me in a cranky tone.

She struggled in my arms until I had to loosen my hold for fear she'd hurt herself. She sniffed and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, looking up at me. Her mouth quivered in a terrible attempt at a smile, and I hovered over her anxiously, trying to come up with something that would make her stop crying. Shouldn't my telling her I loved her more than anything in my world make her happy, not so sad she was crying? I'd never seen her cry before.

I'd made her cry, damn it.

"Edward," she sniffled again, still dabbing under her eyes. "That was the most beautiful…the best thing I've ever heard in my life. Did you mean it?"

"Did I mean it?" I stared at her, my mouth hanging open. My head spun. _What the hell? _Frustration, confusion, and a little bit of anger overtook my anxiety. "Did I mean it? Of course I meant it! I meant every fucking word! You know I never say anything I don't mean."

She threw herself against my chest, her slim arms wrapping around my waist as she clung to me. "I love you, too, Edward. Thank you. No one's ever said anything like that to me before. No one's ever _felt_ like that about me before."

"Well, I do," I said, still a little offended. _Did I mean it… _The girl never, ever reacted like I thought she would.

She crawled into my lap, wrapping her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck. She smiled into my eyes, hers big, brown, soft, and earnest. "I know. I trust you. I just really wanted you to say it again. I want you to keep saying it."

I just stared at her, the frustration draining from my body. This girl made me feel more, go from highs to lows and back again more, than anyone on earth. I hoped to God that never changed.

"I love you," I vowed softly. "You're everything to me, Isabella Swan."

She kissed me, crushing her mouth to mine, her legs and arms tightening around my hips and shoulders. I held her close, taking her tongue, giving her mine, ready and willing to give her everything I had. I moaned, and my eyes rolled back in my head when her hand slid down my chest to palm me through my pants. She cupped, stroked, and gave me a little squeeze. I somehow managed to pull away from the fucking amazing sensation of her hand on my cock.

"Bella," I gasped. I had to kiss her again. I loved the feel of her mouth on mine. "Bella, I have to shower. Have to…have to…hospital…"

Okay, screw the hospital. I just wanted to sit here and kiss my girl.

She broke away this time with a regretful groan. Her fingers touched the temporary bandage over my eye before taking my face in both her hands and tipping my head down so she could press her lips gently—oh so gently—to the wound. My heart stuttered, swelled, and cramped in my chest at the tender gesture. Her eyes met mine, warm and wet with emotion.

"Let's go get you taken care of, okay?" She climbed off my lap, standing and pulling me to my feet. She turned to my stall, lifting the jersey I had tossed there in my frustration after the game, and pulled out my shower bag. How the hell did she just know where it was, when I'd been searching everywhere for it? She put it in my hands, and I just stared for a second before shaking my head and heading for the showers.


	25. Chapter 25: Man On

**Still SM, still not me.**

**Thanks to SunKing and Sarahsumbrella for beta-ing!**

**Thank you guys for reading and reviewing!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 25: Man On**

The arena was dim and eerily silent when we finally left. I glanced around as Bella and I walked into the lobby, not even hearing the maintenance crew at work. I was worried for a moment, thinking maybe we were locked inside, but the door pushed open easily. I paused as I held it for Bella, frowning and looking behind us into the empty lobby. I tipped my head to listen intently.

"Edward?" She had stopped and turned to look at me. "What's wrong? Did you forget something?"

"No," I said absently, taking one last glance around and then shaking my head. I'd just had one of those weird feelings shiver up my spine. It wasn't quite déjà vu, more like… I didn't know. I shook it off when I realized Bella was watching me anxiously. I was being stupid and was worrying my girl.

I slung my bag over my shoulder and pulled her close with my other arm. She was warm and relaxed against my side. I tipped my head and brushed my nose along her soft cheek, breathing in her sweet scent mixed with the pleasant musky undertones of sweat and sex. _My_ sweat and sex. I couldn't help thinking about how she'd gotten my sweat and sex on her, and I began to plan to get them on her again as soon as possible.

"Wear the garter that matches that bra for me later," I murmured in her ear as we walked slowly toward where I'd parked the Volvo. She gasped and scrunched her shoulders a little, but leaned into me. "Just the garter and the bra. Don't bother with the panties. They'll just get in my way." She let out a nervous, delighted giggle, and I smiled into her hair.

"I don't want anything between you and my mouth." I remembered how badly I'd wanted my mouth on her in the equipment room, and how I'd been thwarted. I wouldn't be again. "I'm going to slip my tongue under those lacey little straps that run up your legs, taste your pretty skin, until I get to the _really_ tasty parts…"

"Edward!" Her protest was a moaning half-squeak.

"Mmm." I rubbed my face against her neck teasingly, and she laughed.

I was grinning as we came around the side of the arena to where the car was parked. I saw something move in the shadows behind the vehicle, something that made the first tendril of alarm settle in my belly. That tendril turned into a wave of dread when I realized the shadows were three men, and the one in the middle was James Lucard. I didn't know what the hell he was doing hanging out by my car, but I knew it couldn't be good.

"Lucard," I said curtly, coming to a stop and pulling Bella slightly behind me.

I slid my equipment bag off my shoulder and let it fall to the ground. I hoped like hell she'd understand she had to stay close, but give me enough room to move quickly if I needed to. My mouth filled with the metallic taste of fear as I realized how badly I was outnumbered. It would be impossible to protect Bella if they decided to get really nasty—and I had no doubt at all Lucard could get really, really nasty. I'd seen it firsthand. My heart pounded, and I felt a little lightheaded, but my concentration was focused and sharp on his shadowed figure. I might have been outnumbered, but I would give them the fight of their lives to keep them from Bella.

"Cullen." His voice was soft but pleased as it carried across the space between us. He knew he had the upper hand and was determined to make me suffer as long as he had it, just like the coward he was. I could only hope that someone would drive by or come out of the arena soon.

"I see you have your cunt with you," he continued softly. "Cullen's Cunt."

A red haze of rage obscured my vision. I fought it, knowing his goal was to distract me, make me lose whatever control I had, and with it any chance of getting us out of this situation in one piece. The other two brutes he was with would have me in a second if I went after him, and Bella would be completely vulnerable. I knew it, but it still took all my strength not to react to his slur against my girl.

"Has quite a ring to it, don't you think?" He tipped his head, and even in the dim light of the parking lot, I could see his eyes glitter in anticipation. _He wants you to come after him_, I reminded myself. _Don't play his game. Don't play right into his hands._

Bella's hand touched my back and fisted in the material of my jacket. I recognized it as an unconscious reaction to her fear. Fury and frustration trembled through my body, and I saw Lucard's pleased smile. I wanted to reassure her, but I couldn't afford to show any weakness or risk taking my focus off the three threatening figures even for an instant. I didn't want to do anything that would bring her to their attention. Let them concentrate on me, even if Lucard was trying to use her presence to drive me into a rage.

His smile widened as he tipped his head, never taking his eyes from mine. _That's right, asshole_, I thought. _It's me you want. Leave her out of this_. Any hopes of that happening were dashed when he said, "Ahhh. I can smell her, Cullen. You two have been very naughty in the locker room, haven't you? Is she any good?"

I knew he couldn't smell her or anything else at that distance. It was only a guess, a perceptive calculation used to infuriate me. I knew it, but it worked. The implied threat that he was interested in her, that he wanted to put his hands on her, broke my control. Rage roared through me, mixed with the horrible mental images of the last girl I had seen his hands on—the blood, the screaming, the shock and horror of it all. Not Bella. Not my girl. _Never_. Not while I still had a breath left in my body.

I wasn't concerned about my own safety. The only thing I could think about was taking him out, making sure he never laid a finger on her, and that he never even thought about her again. I started forward, my one and only objective to give him a taste of his own medicine, but the two assholes with him stepped forward and blocked my path. It brought me suddenly and shockingly to my senses.

I liked my chances against any one of them—they were better than good, actually—but two would be a lot trickier. And three? I didn't stand a chance in hell. And if I didn't stand a chance… Holy Christ. Bella. My hands shook and my body trembled at the thought. _Bella_. I had to think fast. I had to be as clever and as quick as I'd ever been in my life to get us out of the situation. I'd take my chances if it were just me. My rage and fury were pretty close to being overwhelming, but…Bella. I couldn't risk her. I _wouldn't_ risk her, not a hair on her head. I had to get her out of there quickly, before the situation escalated and someone got seriously hurt. I had no doubt that was where it was heading.

"You won't touch her." I'd never meant anything more in my life, even though I couldn't see how I was going to stop it. I was vibrating in fear, in anger, in reaction to the danger of the situation and the fact I couldn't control what was happening. I didn't know how I was going to get us out of there without a really bad and unequal fight. I couldn't see how I was going to keep Bella safe, and it scared the ever-loving shit out of me. I took a deep breath and braced myself. I might have been horribly outnumbered, but I'd let them know they'd been in a fight if they tried. "I'll kill you before I let you touch her."

Lucard made an amused noise. "Temper, temper, Cullen," he taunted me. "I just wanted to congratulate you on a game well played and make sure you weren't too badly injured." That was bullshit. He proved my point as his eyes moved insultingly over Bella when she took a step closer to me. "Aren't you going to introduce me to your pretty little cunt?"

I would kill him. I was going to take him out, and damn the consequences. Damn the fact that I was outnumbered, and damn him to fucking hell. I wanted to take him apart with my bare hands and dance in his blood. I was going to—

"Edward." Bella's voice was shaky and terrified, and it snapped me out of my bloodlust. Her fingers trembled as they tentatively touched my back, almost if she was scared of _me_. It brought reality, and my wits, crashing back like nothing else could. I had to use my head. I had to get her out of there, no matter what my male pride demanded. She had to be my number one priority. Icy calm took the place of the heated rage that had been coursing through me.

"Get in the car, Bella." I ignored the other two goons and kept my gaze locked on James Lucard. He had a faintly amused smile on his face, but his eyes were cold and watchful as we stared at each other.

"Edward, don't—" she started to protest, and I felt my hard-won control crack at the evidence of fear in her voice.

"Get in the car!" I said forcefully.

I couldn't take the time to explain to her or shift my attention from James Lucard. I wanted the barriers of steel and glass between her and the other three men. I wanted her one step closer to being safe. James had made no move toward me, and I was beginning to hope that I just might be able to get Bella out of there with no blood spilled. He wanted to taunt me, to try to goad me into throwing the first punch and start a fight I couldn't win. He wanted me to put Bella at risk through my own actions, so I would have to live with the pain and guilt if something happened to her. He was a sadistic motherfucker, but an incredibly intelligent one. I couldn't let myself forget that fact no matter how furious he made me. I had to be smarter. I had to be calmer. I had to be better.

All my senses were sharp and clear as a bell. I could see every expression that moved across their faces, hear the air gasping in and out of Bella's lungs, the rustle of her clothes, and each soft scrape and slide of her shoes on the asphalt as she moved slowly toward the car. I never took my eyes off Lucard as I followed her progress, moving deliberately backward until she was at the passenger side door. I didn't dare spare her a glance, but with my hyper-aware senses, I knew when she was inside and it was safe to close the door. I did so carefully, gently, because I could feel the rage trembling up my arms. I wanted to hit something. I wanted to hit Lucard, and knowing I couldn't, I wanted to take it out on the door. But I had to be careful. It would only scare Bella more, and I couldn't let Lucard know just how close to the edge I was. I moved to the other side of the car, bending down to grab my equipment bag and toss it in the backseat.

I reached for the driver's door, my heart pounding rapidly as I realized how close I was to getting Bella out of there safely. I pulled the door open and settled my gaze on him one last time, battling my frustration and embracing my relief. His eyes flickered down to where I was gripping the doorframe, my knuckles white and tense.

"Lucard…" I forced my mouth closed, grinding my jaw in an effort to not verbalize the anger, frustration, or impotent fury that coursed though me. He was a bully of the worst kind, one capable of unspeakable violence when the odds were stacked in his favor. I knew he was waiting to see if he could push me over the edge and give him clear advantage of the situation. I absolutely refused to let that happen.

I sat in my seat and gave him one last long stare before I put my arm on the back of Bella's seat to check behind me. There was no one else in the parking lot, so I hit the gas and got us out of there. I could feel the adrenaline crash coming, feel the tremors that wanted to wrack my body, darken my vision, and make me all fuzzy headed, but I couldn't allow it. Not quite yet. I gulped in air through my mouth, but it was no use. My body ached with suppressed tension, and I could feel the quiver starting in my shoulders. I rolled them, but the vibration moved down to my elbows, which I pressed hard against my body to try to still them. It just continued on to my hands, and my fingers gripped the steering wheel so hard I could feel them sinking into the padded leather. When my thighs started to quake, I hit the brakes and pulled over to the side of the road.

My head was spinning as I tried to deal with my physical responses as well as try to make sense out of what had just happened. I had no idea how we had gotten out of there without a fight, but I had never been more grateful for anything in my entire life. When I thought about James Lucard getting anywhere near Bella, let alone _touching_ her…

Without conscious thought, my hand fisted, and I hit the steering wheel. It felt good to release some of my aggravation, so I did it again. I sensed Bella flinching next to me and was instantly remorseful. She didn't need anything else scaring her, especially not her unstable boyfriend. She needed me, and I tried desperately to tamp down on my fury. I had to get it together so I could offer her the comfort and security she needed.

My strength, my carefully honed body, my mind—none of it meant anything if I couldn't use it to protect the girl who meant everything. I wanted to wad her up into a tight little ball and stuff her inside my chest where she would be safe and secure always, where no threat could get to her, where nothing could harm her, least of all my past. I'd never regretted stopping James from hurting that girl any more than he already had when we came upon them, but I suddenly found myself wishing I hadn't with every fiber of my being. The guilt I felt at wishing that was insignificant when compared to the fear I felt for Bella, for _my_ girl. I knew what James Lucard was capable of better than anyone. She was in serious danger because of me.

I grabbed for my control in great big handfuls, hauling it back, gripping and holding tight until I owned that motherfucker again. I wanted to clutch her, I wanted to hold her to me and absorb her until I was certain right down to my soul she was secure and unharmed. I wanted to do that so badly, but I was afraid I'd scare her, so I made sure I didn't. I couldn't, not until I was certain I had my fear and temper under control. I didn't want to hurt her in my desperation to make sure she was safe. My hands still shook and my body trembled as I remembered the sheer terror I'd felt when I knew I wouldn't be able to protect her.

A heavy, tense silence filled the interior of the car, and her voice was unsteady as she tried to speak. "Edward...what…who…"

I took a deep, deep breath and released it, picturing all my rage and impotence going with it out of my body, out of my mind, and out of the car. I rubbed my hands over my face and regained some of my balance. She deserved an explanation. Hell, she deserved a lot more than that, but an explanation was all I could offer her.

"James Lucard," I said, my voice rough. "He goes to Port Angeles High and plays for their team, obviously. We had a, uh, run-in a couple of years ago and don't really get along."

I didn't think I could tell her the whole story, not a when my emotions were so raw. I wasn't sure if I would ever be able to get into it with her. I didn't want her to know. I didn't want it to be real, to be something that could possibly affect her. I couldn't relive those awful days, not with her sitting so scared and vulnerable next to me. I couldn't even begin to imagine if he…if he _ever_…

I pounded on the steering wheel in denial of my thoughts. I could feel the anxiety and anger trying to build up inside of me again.

"It's taking everything I have not to turn around and go after him," I said through clenched teeth. I wanted to go back and make sure he couldn't come near Bella ever again. "I can't stand it!"

I obviously hadn't gotten my temper under control as well as I thought. I tried to take another calming breath, but I couldn't. I just couldn't. Images of James Lucard beating that girl rose unbidden in my mind, and I fought back a shuddering gasp as I thought of that maniac anywhere near my Bella. I would go back to that parking lot in a heartbeat, no matter the odds or whom he had with him, but…Bella. I couldn't, not with her in the car. I had to get her safe. I couldn't risk it.

"Fuck!" I had to think of the girl sitting next to me. My girl. My Bella. There wasn't anything I wouldn't do for her, even go against what every cell in my body demanded I do—eliminate the threat. I wanted to hit, to strike out, to protect. I wanted to bite the fucking steering wheel and rip it to pieces. I wanted to howl with the conflicting emotions, but I settled for pressing my forehead against the wheel and holding on, struggling, until I had myself under control once again. My temper was a vicious thing, but I owned it.

I opened my eyes, staring at nothing, the middle of the steering wheel only millimeters from my face. I saw her hand reach toward me and hover in the air between us before she pulled slowly back and fisted it in her lap. My heart clenched. My Bella was scared to touch me. The knowledge was devastating. I was being an idiot, thinking about how I felt and not realizing my girl needed me. I managed a smile, and it must not have been too bad, because she returned it. Her body relaxed in relief, and I grabbed her hand to hold it carefully in mine.

"Distract me," I asked her desperately. I needed her to distract us both.

"What?" She brought my fingers to her mouth to kiss them, and the tension began to drain from my body at the tender gesture. Oh, how I loved her.

"Distract me," I repeated softly, examining her face. I wanted to make sure she was okay, really okay, because I knew she wouldn't tell me the truth if I asked. Her eyes were still a little wide, but they were clear and warm. She looked as well as I could expect after having the holy living shit scared out of her... Fuck. I was getting pissed again. "Say something so I don't turn around and go back there."

"Um, we should get you to the hospital before your mom and dad come looking for you?" Her gaze went to my forehead. I was confused for a second, until I remembered the cut above my eye. Because of...yeah. Fucking James Lucard.

I took a deep breath, turning her hand so I could press a kiss to the sensitive center of her palm. I closed my eyes and let the feel of her hand cupping my face soothe me.

"I'm sorry, Bella," I murmured. I opened my eyes and forced myself to meet her gaze. "I'm sorry you had to see that tonight. I never wanted you to be in that situation. It scared the holy fuck out of me, you being there. It was the only thing that stopped me...I wanted to…I should have…"

"It's okay, Edward. I'm so glad you didn't do anything stupid. It wasn't your fault."

She really believed it, but of course it was my fault. She wouldn't have been there, would never had come to James Lucard's attention or been on his radar if it wasn't for me. I'd done something I never thought possible—I'd put her in danger. Not intentionally, but still. Even after the shit he'd pulled on the ice earlier that night, I never expected he'd actually wait for me in the parking lot after the game. He might have been batshit crazy, but he was smart, and that was a very dangerous combination. It was what had kept him out of jail so far. I wouldn't underestimate him again. I couldn't afford to, not with Bella's safety at stake.

I offered to take Bella home before I went to the hospital, knowing her squeamishness around blood. The cut on my forehead wasn't bleeding anymore, but I knew she probably wouldn't hold up very well watching stitches get put in my face. She insisted on going with me, which in all honesty was a relief. I was still pretty shaken up over the incident with Lucard, and I didn't want her alone in her house until her dad came home. I didn't know if she actually was safer with me, but at least I'd know where and how she was until I could calm down.

The receptionist paged my dad once we got to the ER, and he brought us to an exam room right away. Bella huddled in a chair in the corner, as far away as she could get and still be in the room. She watched with wide-eyed dismay as Dad pulled the temporary bandage away from the cut. I felt bad, knowing she was not only worried about me—even though she didn't need to be, the gash was no big deal—but also experiencing her usual discomfort with any medical procedure. I watched her closely for signs of barfing or fainting as Dad cleaned my forehead and prepared to numb the area. Her eyes widened when she saw the needle, and her hand flew to her mouth. I started to tell her it was okay if she wanted to stand outside in the hall so she couldn't see, but she beat me to it.

"Do you want juice?" She was already running out of the room. "I'll go get juice! Be right back!"

Dad and I exchanged an amused glance as she disappeared. I figured she'd be safe enough in the halls of Forks General. I started to scowl at the thought, and flinched when it interfered with the needle Dad was poking into my eyebrow.

"Everything okay?" he asked, sitting back to wait for the cut to get numb.

"Yeah." I hunched my shoulders and shook my head slowly. I knew I needed to tell him what had happened after the game. "Dad, Lucard was waiting for us in the parking lot of the rink when Bella and I were walking back to the car."

He lurched forward, his hands braced on his thighs. His eyes went over me frantically, looking for other wounds, I guess, or torn clothes or something. "What? Why? Are you both okay? What happened?"

I shrugged. "I'm fine. We're fine. He didn't do anything, just showed up with a couple of his friends. He was trying to intimidate me or something."

"His friends?" Dad looked like he wanted to get up and hit something. He looked just like I felt.

"Yeah. It wasn't any big deal." I tried to downplay it do he wouldn't freak out. Nothing actually had happened, after all.

"James Lucard showed up in a parking lot with a couple of his friends, tying to intimidate you, and it's no big deal?" He was starting to get pretty red, which was a bit alarming.

I shrugged again. "He just said a couple of things, trash talking." I clenched my jaw as I remembered the things he said about Bella. "Nothing threatening, and he didn't touch either one of us."

I felt sick at the thought of him touching Bella. Of him being anywhere near enough to touch her.

Dad must have been watching me closer than I realized, because the alarm on his face grew. "I'm going to have another talk with Chief Taylor in Port Angeles. Have you said anything to Bella? Told her about what happened? I'll talk to Charlie, too."

"No, I haven't said anything, but I will. I'll say something to her tonight. I guess she needs to know to let me or her dad know if she sees him again." My stomach churned, which wasn't the best thing to have happen as Dad picked up the needle and began sewing me back together.

"You need to tell her to be careful. You need to be careful." I could feel the tug and pull of the suture gliding through the skin just above my eyebrow.

I grunted in affirmation as he snipped and stitched, and after placing six careful and neat knots, he cleaned me up and pressed a bandage over his work. I looked up at a sound at the door, and smiled when I saw Bella's pale, anxious face peering into the cubicle.

"All done." I glanced at the plastic juice cups she was clenching in her hands. "For me?"

"Yeah." She held one out and opened the other. Taking a deep breath, she tossed back the juice cup like a shot of whiskey. I tried not to laugh. "Wow. That doesn't look too bad."

"Six stitches," I told her, glancing at dad to see if he was done.

"_Six_?" She suddenly looked a little green, and I hid a smile at her squeamishness. Six stitches was barely a scratch.

"Yeah. I'll be a little mini-Frankenstein for a while." I tried to distract her by goofing around, holding my arms out on front of me and lurching across the room like the monster. I was rewarded with her laugh and reached for my jacket. "Dad says it won't leave too bad of a scar."

"A scar?" She swallowed convulsively.

I mentally slapped myself for reminding her that it was deep enough it might leave a permanent mark. Dad made a joke about how another scar would keep me from looking like a pretty boy, and her eyes flew to my face in concern. She liked my face. I was okay with that, because I knew she liked everything else, too. I tried to give her a leer, but the expression tugged at the stitches, and I winced. I didn't realize how much I used my damn eyebrows in common, everyday expressions.

Dad discharged me, and we walked out into the parking lot to the car. I felt tension seep through me with the memory of what had occurred in the arena parking lot, even though I knew it was extremely unlikely Lucard would show up at the populated, well-lit hospital just to fuck with me. I didn't take any chances and remained alert, coming to a stop next to the car when Bella placed her hand on my arm.

"Did you tell your dad about James Lucard? About what he did after the game?"

I turned to her, pulling her close and resting my forehead on top of her hair. "I mentioned it. I'm hoping it was just a one-time thing, because he was in Forks for the hockey game tonight. If you see him again, Bella, anywhere, even from a distance, promise me you'll let me know right away. Or let your dad know. James Lucard…he's crazy. Don't mess around if you see him, okay? Just let one of us know."

"Okay." She gave me a hug. "What did happen tonight, Edward?"

"Well, like I said, he and I don't get along for a lot of reasons. He's a bully, but a dangerous one. There's no reason for him to be in Forks after tonight, so I don't imagine we'll be seeing him again. But just in case you do..." I hoped she understood the gravity of the situation. I knew I needed to give her the full story, but I wasn't about to do that standing outside Forks General Hospital. As long as she knew to watch out for Lucard and let someone know if she saw him, I figured it was enough for the moment.

She offered to drive, but I just scoffed as I settled her into the car. I was just glad to put that night behind us even if it meant I had to take her home.


	26. Chapter 26: Roughing

**Still SM, still not me.**

**Love and appreciation to Sarahsumbrella and SunKing for beta-ing.**

**Love and more love to you guys for reading and your reviews. Honestly, it's means so much and is such great encouragement to all fic writers. 3 you guys for your support.**

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**CHAPTER 26: Roughing**

Our team won our last couple of games and made it all the way to the high school hockey State Championship game, but lost in the third period with five minutes left. It was a bittersweet loss. We'd gone far for a small town team, playing against one of the biggest districts in the state. But a loss is a loss, and no one hated losing more than I did. My league team started only a couple of weeks after the State finals game, so it really was business as usual for me. I played with the same group of guys; we just traveled more often and traveled longer distances. The one thing that was different was the increase in college and pro scouts that came to the games and made appointments to visit at the house with my parents and me.

I started gathering information on the various colleges and what their hockey programs had to offer, as well as the academics. I wanted to choose the school that would give me the best opportunity for my potential career in professional hockey, as well as having a strong pre-med program. It was a short list, and they were all really good schools. If I was going to put off a pro career for college, I wanted to be sure it was worth my time and effort.

Bella and I spent many hours discussing what we'd like to do with our lives after high school, with her insisting that she hadn't made any decisions. She didn't have to at that point, but I was curious as to whether or not our college plans were compatible. I didn't even want to think about being apart or the possibility we could end up on opposite ends of the country, seeing each other only on holidays or long weekends. I could hardly bear the thought of being apart from her now that we were well and truly together.

She had expressed an interest in writing, like journalism or English, and I checked those departments in every school that I was interested in, hoping we could work out what would be best for both of us and end up at a school together. I tried to talk to her about it, to discuss what she thought and how she felt, but she was maddeningly noncommittal. I realized what she was doing, even though she was trying to be casual about it. She didn't want to influence my decision, and while I appreciated the sentiment, I knew we needed to talk about something that important and make a decision together, even if we ended up at different schools. We needed to be able to discuss those kinds of things honestly and openly if we were to have any kind of future together.

When I put it to her that way, she finally opened up and admitted her top five schools were the same as mine, if we didn't consider distance, cost, or any of those practical things. I knew tuition was a concern for her, but I knew that it was something that could be worked out, as long it was a school she really wanted to attend. I saw her picking up and reading the booklet on Dartmouth too many times to count, her fingers unconsciously stroking the cover and the pages. The sections on their English and Literature colleges became almost as worn as the Biology and Chemistry sections I was constantly reviewing. It made me glad, because Dartmouth was one of my top choices. The top choice, to be honest, but I was still open to information on other programs until I had to make a final decision.

We saw no hint of James Lucard in Forks or anywhere else, but I allowed myself to relax only slightly. I'd never forget the fear and anger I'd felt when he'd confronted us outside the ice arena, how helpless I had felt having Bella there and not being sure I could protect her from his violence. My dad did some checking and found out that he wasn't playing hockey in the spring league, which was one less thing for me to worry about. I had enough on my plate with my concerns about college and the possibility of a professional career in hockey, performing well for the scouts and in my classes as we headed toward the end of our junior year.

The scouts and playing well were my biggest concern until one day early that spring. I'd showered and dressed after a light Friday practice, as we had a Saturday night game that week. Since we had finished early, I had time to do my Communing with the Hockey Gods before heading over to Bella's for dinner. I waited until my teammates had left and the adult league players started showing up before I climbed into the stands and took a seat in the shadows of the upper level. I had just started to get into my zone when my cell phone buzzed in my pocket. I considered ignoring it, but sighed and glanced at the screen to see who it was. I did a double take when the name popped up on the screen.

_Mike Newton?_

Why was Newton calling me? I paused for a brief second, but hit the talk button and hoped it wouldn't take long. He better not be butt dialing me, or I'd kick his butt.

"This is Edward."

"Hey, Cullen. Uh, how's it going?"

"It's going great, Newton." I ground my teeth. Did he seriously call to chat? We weren't that kind of friends. We were barely friends at all.

"Oh. Good. Well, listen. I was working tonight, you know, with Bella…"

Oh, yeah. He worked with my girlfriend, whom he'd lusted after since grade school. I had a big old problem with that, but she was so proud of getting the job. She really did enjoy working at Newton's Olympic Outfitters, of all the fucking places, so I kept my mouth shut and a smile on my face. Suddenly the tone of Newton's voice registered, and I shot to my feet. Was something wrong with Bella? I had checked my phone after practice and hadn't seen a call from her.

"What's happened? Is Bella okay?"

"Well, you see, that's why I'm calling."

I was down the stairs and heading for the door before I even realized I'd moved. "Newton, I swear to fucking God, just tell me what's going on. Is she okay? Where is she?"

"She's sitting in the parking lot of the store in her truck." I heard his engine turn off in the background as I fumbled for my keys. I unlocked my car and threw my bag in the back before sliding behind the wheel. I was only a couple of minutes away from the sporting goods store. "It was slow today, so she left a little early. But when I was walking out to my car, there was this guy out there with her."

My heart stopped and then thundered painfully, making my breath catch in my throat. _Oh, my God. Oh no._

"He left as soon as he saw me, and she…well, she looked kind of spooked. I asked if she wanted me to call her dad or you, and she said no, but… She looked really scared. And he was a damn creepy dude, you know? Big, long blond hair, and mean looking. She said he played hockey for Port Angeles High, so I thought maybe you'd know who he was. I pulled across the street where I could still see her and called you anyway. Thought maybe you'd want to know, maybe come get her or something. She's just sitting there."

"Mike." I forced myself to speak calmly while adrenaline caused me to tremble and shake. I tamped it down ruthlessly. "Is she okay? Did he touch her?"

"Well…" His voice trailed away, and I had a really bad moment. He must have heard the breath hissing in and out from between my teeth, because he rushed to continue. "She seemed okay, just shaken up a little. He was touching her hair when I came out, but like I said, he left when he saw me. She got into her truck, and she's just been sitting there since."

"Okay." Newton said she was okay. He was watching her, waiting for me to get there. I owed him big. "I'll be there in just a couple of minutes. And Mike? Thanks. Thank you."

He said good-bye, and I floored the accelerator. I'd love to have a cop—especially her dad—see me and follow me to the store. I passed Mike's Suburban and whipped around the corner into the parking lot, pulling behind her truck. I could see her small form behind the wheel, and I swear I never moved so fast in my life as I did getting out of my car and running over to hers. She was hunched over the steering wheel with her hair covering her face, but I saw her swipe her sleeve over her face like she was crying. _Oh, fuck._ I felt anger and fear ripple through me. If she was hurt, if Lucard had hurt her…

I tried the door handle, but it was locked. _Good girl_. I tapped on the window with my knuckle, trying to keep myself calm when all I wanted to do was pound through the metal and glass, grab her, pull her out, and glue her to my side. She jumped with a muffled shriek I could hear through the door, clutching at her chest. My girl was thoroughly freaked.

"Bella?" I kept my voice even but loud enough she could hear me through the door. "It's me, Bella. It's okay. Open up."

Her face was slightly distorted through the glass. She reached over and pulled the lock, opening the door, and then I could see her clearly. She had been crying, and it just about killed me. She slid across the wide bench seat, and I examined her as best I could. She didn't look hurt or injured, but the tear tracks on her cheeks and her red eyes and nose were damage enough. I locked the door behind me and wrapped her in my arms, holding her as tight as I dared, feeling her solid and sure against me. I wanted to lock my arms around her and never let go, never let her be exposed to any kind of danger, fear, or hurt. She clung to me, great, wracking sobs shaking her whole body. I felt like crying right along with her, but didn't want to terrify her any more than she already was. She didn't know how badly it hurt to hold her while she cried in fear, but I wouldn't have been anywhere else. My girl needed me at that moment, and I gave her everything I could, just by being there and holding her safe and secure in my arms.

She eventually quieted, and I slowly drew back to examine her tear-ravaged face. Each wet streak and red splotch was like a knife in my heart. I stroked her damp cheeks, wiping away the evidence of her fear, and slowly, gently touched my mouth to hers to reassure her and myself. I sighed in relief when she responded just as gently. I pressed my lips to her forehead, squeezing my eyes shut and sending thanks to whatever was watching over her.

"What happened?" I finally managed to ask.

She tightened her hold and ducked her head, laying her cheek on my chest. I set mine on top of hers and returned the pressure.

"Lucard."

I stiffened, fighting back my instinctive reaction, which was to chase his ass down and do something really violent and really satisfying. She felt the tension that stiffened my body against hers and gave me a reassuring squeeze.

"What happened?" I asked again when she didn't say anything else. She seemed fine, other than being scared and crying, but I had to be sure. I steeled myself to react calmly and reasonably to whatever she told me.

"He was here in the lot when I left work. I didn't see him at first. He didn't have a car or anything. Just…all of a sudden he was there. Behind me. T-touching me."

I jolted. Fuck calm, and reason could go straight to hell. Lucard had touched her. He had touched my girl. I wanted to kill him. She rubbed her cheek against my skin where my shirt opened, and the seeking touch brought me back to the matter at hand. The important thing was making sure Bella was okay.

"Nothing bad, just trying to freak me out," she hurried to continue, lifting her face to look at me. "It worked. He wanted me to tell you. He wanted you to know."

Of course he did. He wanted me freaked out, on edge and vengeful, but knowing that didn't stop me from feeling all those things and more. I suddenly couldn't stand even the smallest amount of space between us and grabbed her close, crushing her to my chest once again.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I'm so sorry." She had no idea how sorry I was and how much it tortured me to know that Lucard had shown up at her workplace to terrify her because of me. "You shouldn't be in the middle of this. It's all my fault. I'm so, so sorry."

She didn't say anything for a few minutes, and I realized I was clutching her, swaying back and forth.

"What's going on?" she finally asked, not lifting her head. "Something else is going on here, Edward. I need to know the truth."

I thought about what to say and how to say it. There was no way I couldn't tell her the whole story, every bit of it, not after what had happened. I could feel her fidgeting against me, getting frustrated with my silence, and she had every right to be. I took a deep breath, wondering if she'd be pissed at me for not saying anything sooner and if she'd be pissed that her dad knew the tale and obviously hadn't told her, either. He had actually played it very cool when Bella introduced us at their house when I'd picked her up for our first date. I didn't know how she'd react when she found out, but I knew I'd be pissed if it were me. Guilt jumped in to mix with all of the other sickening emotions in my gut.

I lifted her face, touching my mouth to each precious feature on her face, ending with a light, brief touch to her lips. She was well, whole, and safe. That's what was really important. We could deal with everything else as long as she was okay.

"Yeah, you need to know. I should have said something sooner, but I guess I hoped it would go away, that there wouldn't be any reason to get you more involved."

I stared down at her. She reached up to brush my face with her fingertips, giving me a wobbly smile. "I need to know."

"Yes, you do. You need to know, to be careful." Her face puckered into a scowl of protest, and I gave her a wobbly smile of my own. None of this was her fault. She couldn't help it if a crazy bastard was determined to fuck with my life. "More careful. I know I have a chance of you cooperating if you know why. I'll drive you home. We'll talk there. You can bring me back later for my car."

I didn't feel comfortable out in the open, in the dark, deserted parking lot of the closed store. I held my hand out for the keys to the truck, and after a second, she reluctantly dropped them into my palm. The story I was about to tell her was scary and hard to believe. I figured her dad could lend some credibility and share the blame for not telling her. I started the truck, pulling out smoothly onto the street and heading for her house.

"Besides, your dad has a part in this, anyway," I said with grim satisfaction.

She gaped at me. "My dad?"

"Yeah. I'll tell you everything when we get to your house. When your dad gets home."

"Wait a minute. My dad? _Charlie_? Are you sure?"

I snorted, reaching out to touch her arm. My fingers trailed down her thigh and across the denim of her jeans to her knee before retracing the path and taking her hand, which had been resting on the seat. I couldn't stop touching her. I needed to feel the warmth of her, the solidness of her, and reassure myself she really was okay.

"Yeah, I'm sure," I told her. She made some spluttering, frustrated noises and glared at me. "Look, I know how you feel. But it really will be better to hear the whole story all at once, and your dad knows a lot of what happened with Lucard. I only want to tell it once, and trust me, it'll be better if your dad is there. I promise, I'll tell you everything—anything you want to know."

She wasn't happy about it, and let me know with her tense silence and quick, jerky movements. I didn't blame her, and I'd try to make it right as soon as I could. I knew a lot of her reaction was due to the aftermath of her confrontation with James, residual fear, anger, and adrenaline, but I didn't want to ruin it with a rushed or half-assed explanation. It was a story that was going to be very hard for me to recount, and I needed to prepare myself.

Bella was still annoyed when we got to her house. Her dad hadn't gotten there yet, and she started making dinner—pasta carbonara, if I wasn't mistaken. It was one of my favorites, so I knew she really wasn't that mad at me. She slammed pots and pans on the counter, tossing utensils and ingredients around until I couldn't hide my smile at her passive aggressive expressions of annoyance. I went to her, coming up behind her and settling my hands on her waist. She paused, tensing, and prepared to give me a well-deserved blast of temper. I made an attempt to forestall her by brushing my lips over her ear.

"Bella—"

She whipped her head around, and her mouth was right _there_. I had to kiss her, of course, and keep kissing her, easing her back against my front, covering her from her feet to well past the top of her head. She turned in my arms between soft, seeking kisses, linking her hands behind my neck and pulling my mouth back to hers. I wanted her, suddenly and desperately. I pressed her between my body and the counter, feeling the explosion of warm, wet tongues, sliding lips, and nipping teeth. She made that needy noise I loved, raising on tiptoe to try to line her hips up with mine. She was too short, so I bent and wrapped my hands just above her knees, lifting her to the counter.

Her initial sound of protest turned to one of approval as I raised her shirt in the front and slipped my fingers under the top edge of her bra. I sighed into her mouth as I traced soft flesh, rolled her hardening nipples on the pads of my fingertips. My erection leapt against the restriction of my briefs and jeans. She responded, wriggling so that the heat between her legs cradled my aching shaft and straining thighs. My hands went to the fastenings of her jeans, loosening them, making room for my hand between the material and her skin. I slipped between the smoothness of her belly and her underwear, feeling her warm and firm and so, so soft. Her flesh seemed to melt and reform around my fingers as I curled and slipped them inside her.

She felt amazing. I pressed my hips forward and began moving my hand more rapidly, bringing it against my raging hard-on and easing back into her body, stimulating us both. I groaned happily at even that little bit of friction, smiling and rolling my head back to enjoy the sensations and the small, unconscious sounds she was making. My eyes flew open when she pushed her hips back and slid off the counter. I was so surprised that I didn't comprehend what was happening, even when she dropped to her knees between my body and the counter.

"Bella? What—"

She undid the button of my jeans, and…_duh_. She was looking up at me with a smile, one brow arched. I reached out to move a strand of dark hair from her cheek. Oh, how I loved this girl. I'd planned on bringing her to a quick little orgasm before her dad got home, but a thrill shot through me at the sight of her on her knees, her hands working to get rid of my jeans, her face turned up to me, and her mouth so very close to where I desperately wanted it. I mustered a half-hearted protest.

"Bella, your dad…"

"I'll make it quick," she said mischievously, and oh my God, I wanted her mouth on me right that second. But the thought that her dad would be coming home at any minute warred with my almost overwhelming desire. I tried to convince myself as much as her it wasn't a good idea.

"I don't think…we shouldn't…" She grabbed the waistband of my jeans and jerked them down my thighs roughly—holy _fuck_ that was hot—and reached for my briefs. "_Christ_!"

The jarring, jangling buzz of a timer sounded from the stove. She started violently at the unexpected sound, her head rapping smartly on the edge of the counter behind her. She gave a yelp and swayed on her knees, her eyes squeezing shut in pain and her hand flying to the back of her head. I reached out for her, hoping she hadn't drawn blood, but my legs were weak from the shock of expectation and then sudden disappointment, and I'd forgotten about the jeans tangled around my ankles. I stumbled backward, off balance, and thought I was going down in the middle of the kitchen where Chief Swan would find me lying prone and almost bare-assed, right before he shot me in the ass. I fell against the table, grabbing my jeans and pulling them up as fast as I could, wanting to get to her to make sure she wasn't seriously injured.

"Bella! Bella, are you okay? Did you hurt yourself?" I didn't think she'd hit her head that hard, but with Bella, I couldn't be sure. I went back to where she was still kneeling on the floor clutching her head, and I thought about how she'd almost—almost—been clutching _my_ head, so to speak, and the humor of the situation hit me. I'd been through a crazy high and low of emotions over the past couple of hours, and I choked back a snort of slightly manic amusement.

"Are you laughing?" she asked suspiciously as I reached down to help her to her feet, examining her head to any sign of blood and her eyes for lucidity. I could tell she didn't have a concussion and appeared to be otherwise unharmed.

"Are you hurt?" I asked, just to be sure.

"No."

"Then, yeah, I guess I'm laughing." I couldn't help it. I loved her to death, but my girl was an undeniable klutz. I mean, who could hurt themselves going down on their boyfriend? My Bella, that's who. "Jeez, Bella, you're the only person I know who could give themselves a concussion while trying to give head."

"It's not funny." She stood on her own, and I watched regretfully as she straightened her jeans over her hips.

"It's kinda funny." I unsuccessfully fought back a grin. She was okay, so yeah. It was kind of funny.

"You're cut off."

As a threat, it just didn't work. She was eyeing my still obvious erection, and she licked her lips. It sent a cramp of longing through my groin, and I knew she wanted me just as bad as I wanted her despite our teasing. I ran my left hand through my hair, as my right one was still damp from being inside her. I grinned wolfishly and teased her a little more.

"Bella, it's hard to take a threat like that seriously when I can still smell you on my—"

The sound of a car engine broke me off mid-sentence, and we stared at each other with open mouths.

Her dad was home.


	27. Chapter 27: Dive

**SM owns Twilight and stuff. These words are mine and a bunch of just...stuff.**

**Hugs and kisses to SunKing and Sarahsumbrella for beta-ing.**

**CM won Best Edward and Best Fluff in the Sunflower Awards. To say I'm grateful is an understatement - thank you so, so much to those who nominated the story and everyone who voted!**

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**CHAPTER 27: Dive**

"Please tell me you were joking!" Her voice rose with each word, and she danced from one foot to the other in agitation. "Does it smell like _sex_ in here? Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! Your hair!"

"What?" My hair? She was worried about my hair when her dad—her dad who had a gun strapped to his hip—was about to walk in on us obviously having just had some sort of sexual contact and looking undeniably guilty about it? "_What_?"

I rubbed my hands frantically over it, just in case, and tried to straighten my clothes. I glanced around frantically for any signs of our previous extracurricular activities while Bella turned to the stove and began fumbling with the pots again. She looked thoroughly ravished, clothes rumpled and out of place, hair disheveled, and the waistband of her jeans sagging and gaping.

"Button your jeans!" I gave her a reproving smack on the ass and tried to fasten them myself. She'd pulled them into place, but had neglected to finish putting herself in order. She reached for the cream, and I wanted to shout in frustration. Why was she worried about cooking? We were so busted.

"Holy fuck, Bella, leave the food alone and help me out here!" I ran my hands over her tangled hair as I heard the sharp thud of the car door closing out in the driveway. My eyes flew over her, looking for signs that we'd been messing around, and realized they were everywhere and completely obvious. There was no way we could repair the damage before her dad got into the house, but we had to try. I reached out to smooth her shirt but inadvertently brushed over the tips of her breasts. We both jerked in reaction, and she smacked at my hands with a distressed squeak.

"Fix your bra, then, for chrissakes!" I said, moving away from her and pulling out a chair to sit at the kitchen table. Her bra cups were still out of place from where I'd pulled them down, exposing her breasts to my fingers and my gaze... _Fuck_.

She tugged at them until she seemed satisfied, but her nipples were standing out against the material in sharp relief. It was very obvious and very distracting. My erection, which had subsided rapidly when we heard her dad's cruiser pull into the driveway, twitched with renewed interest. "Jesus, Bella!"

"It's your fault," she grumbled at me, trying to cover herself. Like that helped, and like I didn't know what her hands covered. "Quit looking at me. And stop yelling! What is your problem?"

She spun back to the stove, and I rubbed my eyes in frustration, burying my face in my hands and trying to will my erection to subside. If I saw her nipples poking through her shirt and bra, there was no way that would happen. Or her ass wiggling in her jeans… Yeah. It was better not to look.

"Bella, your dad has a gun." And he'd use it if he walked in with her looking like she did and me with even a hint of a hard on.

She giggled. And then it turned into a full-blown laugh. I gaped at her, having no idea what she found so fucking funny. Her dad opened the front door and called her name. Only a few seconds later, he walked into the kitchen and paused mid-step when he saw me sitting at the table and Bella cackling like a maniac. He greeted me cordially enough, but his eyes narrowed in what looked like suspicion to my guilty conscience.

He glanced at his daughter, and then that cool gaze settled back on me. "I didn't think you'd be here until later, Edward. I didn't see your car out front."

With those words, what Bella and I had been up to paled in comparison to what she'd been through earlier with Lucard. I wasn't looking forward to having the discussion with her or her dad, but it had to be done. I was worried that once he realized the trouble I'd brought into his daughter's life, he'd forbid me from seeing her. I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't stand for it to happen, but at the same time, I realized he'd not only be well within his rights to demand I never see her again, it really was in Bella's best interest. If she weren't with me, maybe Lucard would forget about her and leave her alone. She'd be safe from the threat he represented. The thought whirled in my head, while my stomach heaved at the thought of not being with her. I thought I might be sick. But my only concern had to be Bella.

"Yes, well, about that, Chief Swan. We need to talk to you about something." He jerked as if electrocuted and turned a reddening, suspicious face to his daughter.

"Relax, Dad," she said, rolling her eyes and turning back to the stove.

Oh, shit. He had noticed the dishevelment of our clothes. He thought we were about to tell him Bella was pregnant or we were getting married or something. For the first time in my life, I wished that was what I had to tell my girlfriend's father. It was better than telling him that she was being threatened because of me.

"Oh, no, it's not…it's nothing like that." Well, it had kind of been like that, but that wasn't what we had to discuss. "It's kind of about—"

"Time for dinner." Bella dropped plates and silverware on the table, giving me a stern look. I liked her stern looks, but then I remembered her dad was standing in the same room. I glanced at him guiltily. He'd been watching my face the entire time and arched a brow knowingly. I felt my face turning red and fought it as best I could. "Edward, you set the table. Dad, you go wash. We can talk about it after dinner."

And that's exactly what we did. I felt bad I didn't do her pasta justice as it was one of my favorites, but I couldn't help going over and over in my head what I needed to tell her. If her dad noticed I was more distracted and quiet than I normally was when I shared a meal with them, he didn't say anything. When we had finished, Chief Swan swept his perceptive gaze over our faces and sat back in a deceptively casual move.

"Okay. What's up?"

Bella made a move to take my plate, but I stopped her and gestured for her to sit. I stared at my hands, took a deep breath, and looked her father in the eye.

"Chief Swan, I—we," I corrected, "need to tell Bella about James Lucard."

He made no movement, no change in expression, but suddenly his eyes were intense and very focused. "Why?"

"Because he's been in Forks a couple of times lately. He was waiting for us in the parking lot at the ice arena after the game against Port Angeles a couple of months ago, and he was in the parking lot at Bella's work today harassing her."

Chief Swan almost came out of his chair, and I knew the fear and anger that flashed across his face showed to some degree on mine. I'd had a little bit of time to process what had happened, and he had just been blindsided with the information.

"Bella? Are you okay? What happened?" His gaze swept over her, assessing.

"Um…" She paused, her gaze darting to me, and she looked momentarily startled at the expression on my face. I'd had another of those bad moments thinking about what could have happened if Mike Newton hadn't walked out of the store when he did, and I repressed a horrified shiver. I tried to smile at her, but I wasn't sure how successful I was.

"Nothing happened, really," she continued. "He was just there, waiting for me after work today. I didn't see him until I was at the truck. He just appeared out of nowhere."

She shut her eyes and swallowed. I wanted to howl with the anguish I felt at the evidence that Lucard had scared her so badly. Charlie reached out and put his hand on her shoulder, causing her to jerk slightly and open her eyes to meet his worried gaze.

"Bells. Bells, honey, I have to ask. Did he touch you? Did he hurt you? In any way?"

I had to clench my jaw and fists to keep from hitting the table or the wall. If he had touched her… If he had hurt her… My mind wouldn't even go there, shying away from the thoughts and images that wanted to burst into my mind's eye. I wished I had talked to Aro after James had approached us in the ice arena parking lot and come up with some way to talk about it rationally. I'd been so fucking arrogant, thinking James would only bother me. Foolish, as well, thinking that he'd just go away, and if I ignored him, it would give him less significance in my life. I knew telling Bella wouldn't have stopped Lucard from going after her like he had earlier that evening. Telling her wouldn't have stopped him from tracking her down at work and waiting until she was vulnerable and alone to threaten her. It likely would have made her even more scared than she had been. My rational mind knew all that, but that other part of me…it didn't want to be reasonable. It wanted to remove James Lucard from the face of the earth so he couldn't hurt anyone, most of all Bella, ever again.

"No…no. Not really." She answered her father's question after a long, searching look at my face, her eyes flickering down to my clenched fists. I made another effort to relax them, but they only formed claws on the smooth surface. "He touched my hair and my hand, I think, but that's it. Mike came out of the store, and he left."

My hands made fists again, every muscle in my body hard and tense. He had touched her. He'd put his fucking hands on her. Chief Swan gave me a sharp, assessing glance, and I once again forced myself to appear calm. It was the last thing I was feeling, but I didn't want to agitate him any more than I had to.

"James Lucard is bad news," he said, focusing on Bella, but his attention came back to me, and he sighed. "You need to know the full story, Bella, and stay the hell away from James Lucard."

I reached across the table and took her hands in mine, needing to touch her, needing that anchor, even if her dad sat right across from us and was watching our every move and reaction.

"Let me, Chief Swan. Let me start the story, and you can fill in anything I miss." I knew I had to man up and be the one to tell Bella what had happened that day in Port Angeles.

"I've known James Lucard for a long time. Not well," I said when I felt her hands clench around mine. I didn't want her to think we'd ever been friends or anything even close to it. "But, like, from hockey, league games, stuff like that. I'd known who he was, at least, and to avoid him as best I can, especially during games. He's a pretty violent person, and plays just this side of legal on the ice. I've had my share of stitches and bruises thanks to Lucard over the years."

I paused and glanced at Chief Swan as I got to the part of the story where he, unfortunately, became involved. "A few years ago—I was what, a freshman? There was an away game in Port Angeles. Afterward, a few of us went out to grab something to eat before heading home. Jazz was with me—he was playing hockey back then—and a couple of other guys from the team. We walked to a café right around the corner from the rink, but weren't there very long. We had to be back to the arena and catch the team bus home, so we cut through an alley behind the restaurant. There were two people back there. One was James Lucard. The other was a girl."

I swallowed, looked down briefly at our hands, and willed myself to continue. I hated thinking about it. I hated remembering. It made me feel enraged and helpless and really fucking sad. "He was hitting her—really hitting on her. We were so shocked, but the four of us ran forward yelling at him to stop." I closed my eyes, which was a mistake, because those images were clear and stark in my mind as if they'd just happened. "There was so much blood," I whispered. There had been _so_ much blood. "It was…pretty bad. Three of us grabbed him off her and held him while the other called 911. The cops and ambulance came and took them both away. We didn't make the team bus back to Forks."

I felt the shivers coursing through her, and I couldn't look at her. I didn't want to see sympathy or fear in her beautiful eyes. I opened my mouth to continue, but I was still caught up in the memories of the shock, horror, and the blood, the image of that poor girl's broken form lying at Lucard's feet while he hit her. I didn't understand the how or why of it. I wanted to, but at the same time, I hoped I never would.

Chief Swan spoke up when I remained silent. "The girl was from Forks. She was beaten very badly." He put his hand over our clenched ones and gave a comforting squeeze. "Edward and the other boys were ready to testify against Lucard. Chief Taylor in Port Angeles spent months preparing them and getting everything together."

"What happened?" Bella's voice was unsteady and barely a breath of sound.

"She dropped the charges." He sighed, and Bella inhaled sharply in surprise. "She was so badly traumatized, both mentally and physically," Chief Swan went on to explain. "Everyone thought it best that she go somewhere else to get the help she needed to recover."

He let go of our hands and looked at me, his expression cool and authoritative. "Can I pick him up, officially? Did he do anything when you saw him at the ice rink? Have you seen him since?"

"No. He didn't do anything, or say anything, that you could pick him up for legally." I wished he had, so he or Chief Taylor could toss his ass in jail and put him somewhere he couldn't scare or threaten Bella—or anyone else, for that matter. "Mostly innuendos, no outright threats or anything like that. He was just…letting me know. Letting me know he knew I was with Bella, too. I haven't seen or heard from him at all since then."

Her dad rubbed his forehead and sighed. My gut clenched in misery. I knew it wasn't my fault, but…it was. If Bella hadn't gotten involved with me, she never would have come to James Lucard's attention. I felt horrible she had been so scared by James earlier that evening, and that I had caused Chief Swan to have that particular expression on his face. He was worried, too, and that made me feel a million times worse.

"I'm sorry, Chief Swan." I could barely force the words out of my mouth. I was torn between being terrified he wouldn't allow me to see Bella anymore and hoping he would forbid it, so she wouldn't draw anymore of that crazy bastard's attention. "I'm sorry I got Bella involved in this. I would never, ever willingly put her in a position she could get hurt. I—"

He looked up at me, startled, and then reached out and gripped my shoulder, giving me a firm shake. "It's not your fault, Edward. You boys did the right thing. Sometimes in life doing the right thing turns around and bites you in the ass."

Yeah, I'd learned that life lesson the hard way. He kept his eyes on mine until he was satisfied I understood, and then turned to Bella.

"You have to extra careful, Bells. James Lucard is dangerous, really, truly dangerous. I know you didn't do anything foolish to attract his attention or anything, but you have to promise me you'll be careful."

I couldn't have agreed more. She murmured her assent, her eyes still wide as looked back and forth between us.

"I'll call Chief Taylor in Port Angeles and let him know what's going on here," Chief Swan said. "Maybe he can keep an eye on things at his end. Edward, did you tell your parents you saw him after the game?"

"Yeah. I hoped it would be a one-time thing, but with him going after Bella alone this time, I guess I was wrong." I'd been very wrong, and it was only sheer luck that it hadn't ended any worse. I struggled to control my reaction and the need to do _something_. I had to figure out a way to make this okay, make sure she was safe from Lucard, and that she never, ever ended up like that girl. I almost doubled over with the pain of that thought. I'd been fighting so hard to avoid picturing it in my head.

"Well, I'll talk to them, too, and see about getting a restraining order," Chief Swan continued, his eyes back on my face. They narrowed knowingly. "You have to promise you'll tell me if you get so much as a glimpse of Lucard, anytime, anywhere. Don't do anything stupid like try to take him on yourself."

He paused again, making sure I understood him. I clenched my jaw. I couldn't make myself lie by agreeing, or disagree and piss him off. He sighed and got up to take his plate to the sink.

"I'll get it, Dad," Bella said, her eyes on me. I knew she was trying to get him out of the room so she could give me hell without him listening. "Don't worry about it. Go watch your game."

"Thanks, Bells. I'm going to make some phone calls." He came back to the table and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. I recognized the gesture for what it was—tender, loving, and protective. I'd done it often enough. He swung his hard gaze to me, and I started, sitting up straight and wiping my face of any expression as best I could. "And, Edward?"

"Yes, Chief Swan?"

"You can call me Charlie."

Inside, I was such a mess of emotions. I knew he was telling me he approved of me and didn't blame me for what Lucard had done. I was glad on both counts, but I still felt unbearably guilty that his approval had to come like that. I had brought trouble to his household and his daughter, whom I loved more than anything in this world. I would have done anything if I could change the situation. Anything. Including cutting my own heart out of my chest, sacrificing my soul. I nodded at him, not wanting to appear ungrateful, and he just shook his head with one last meaningful look before heading into the family room. We heard the sound of the TV being turned on a moment later.

Bella got up and started clearing the table, and I rose to help her. She didn't say anything as she began cleaning the dishes and pans, and I watched her out of the corner of my eye as I tried to anticipate her needs and help as best I could. I waited for her to speak, trying to take my cues from her. She remained silent and contemplative while she worked, and I tried to control my worry and impatience, letting her work through the revelations of the evening in her own way. When she finished, she stood facing the sink before suddenly whirling around and hugging me hard.

"I love you," she said, her voice muffled against my chest.

"I love you, too." My heart swelled and broke into pieces. I shut my eyes and held her, absorbing her scent and her heat, the firm pressure of her body against mine, committing it to memory. I swallowed and forced the words out of my mouth. "Bella, it would kill me if something happened to you—if you got hurt because of me."

She lifted her head. "It's not your fault, Edward. You were wonderful. That girl might have died if not for you and your friends, right? How can you be sorry for that?"

"I'm not sorry for that. I'm sorry that you were scared, that you have to be careful, that you're in Lucard's sights because of me. That he touched you." Oh, God, the thought of him touching her, of her in that girl's place… No. I couldn't bear it. "I can't stand the thought that he might do something to you. You being in danger…"

I couldn't allow it. I had to do whatever I could to make sure it never happened. Bella's safety was the most important thing in the world. More important than how I felt or what I wanted.

"I'm going to be careful," she said, placing her head back on my chest, over my shattered heart. "I won't do anything to make you and Charlie worry. Maybe he'll just go back under whatever rock he crawled out from, you know? He's obviously trying to freak you out—to get a reaction from you."

"It's working," I admitted miserably. I knew what I was about to say was going to hurt her, but I didn't see how I could avoid it. Better this small, emotional pain than the devastating physical and permanent damage Lucard could cause. He could kill her. Literally kill her. It wasn't something I would ever risk. There wasn't anything in this world I wouldn't do to make sure that never happened.

"Bella." I took a deep breath to steel my resolve and prepare myself for what I had to do to protect her. I held her face in my hands, stroking them over her cheeks, her hair, letting them trail down the long length that fell over her shoulders. I focused on my hands, because I was a chickenshit after all and couldn't look her in the eye when I said what had to be said. "I think we should stop seeing each other until we know what he's planning. If we aren't together, maybe he'll leave you alone."

She recoiled out from under my hands, and I couldn't help but to look at her face, watching as all color faded from her cheeks. She reached up to touch her lips, as if checking to make sure they were still there.

"Wha—What?" she stammered.

"Bella, I'll do anything to make sure you're safe." I watched as a shudder rippled through her, and I wanted to hold her. I wanted to reassure her, to tell her I loved her and that I'd never, ever leave her. But I couldn't. Her safety was more important than what I wanted.

"You don't want to see me anymore?" The words were so softly spoken I had to strain to hear them. She shut her eyes and gave her head a shake. When she opened them, they were blazing and furious. Glorious. "Or you don't want me with you because of James?"

I fought back my fury, my anguish, and every instinct I possessed to grab her, hold her tight, and never let her go. "Bella, don't you see? He's focused on you because you're with me. Nothing else matters. It boils down to that. You are in danger because you're with me. And I can't bear it."

I wanted to shout when she fought back a sob. I hurt her. I was hurting her, and it was killing me. _You need to keep her safe_, _no matter what it takes_, my brain warned me, but my heart howled and fought against that line of reason.

She shocked me by grabbing my hand and her keys off the counter. Her keys? I had no time to try to figure out what she was doing, because she yanked me along behind her as she stalked into the family room, pausing in the doorway as we stood in the hall.

"We're going to get Edward's car," she said in a scary voice to her dad, who glanced at me, startled. I could only shrug.

She yanked on my arm again, and I meekly followed her outside to her truck.

"Get in," she demanded, and I didn't fool myself by thinking it was a request. I did as she demanded, and we drove in silence for the short distance to the sporting goods store where I'd left my car.

She halted her truck abruptly next to my Volvo, and I just sat there, unsure of what to say. I didn't want to leave, not like that, even though I knew I should. I should just get out of her truck and leave her alone, start on the course I'd set as soon as possible, but I just couldn't. For once, my body didn't obey my mind's command. My heart was taking control, not my head.

"What the hell, Edward?" she finally demanded. I could read frustration in her jerky movements, but the desolation I'd seen in her eyes when I'd told her we shouldn't see each other had been burned away by her anger.

I couldn't look at her. I couldn't lie to her, but I couldn't look at her, either. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to keep my girl safe. I was fucking this up at every turn, and I just didn't know what the fuck to do. "Bella—"

"How could you s-say that to m-me?" Okay, so maybe the desolation hadn't been completely eliminated by her anger. The tremble in her voice almost brought tears to my eyes. I flinched as I heard it, clamping down hard on the urge to take her in my arms and babble apologies, beg her to forgive me for being such an ass and for putting us in this situation to begin with.

"Bella, I…it's not safe. He knows he can use you to get back at me. It's not safe to have you involved with me right now. Don't you understand?" Didn't she know this was _killing_ me? All of it—the fact that I was trying to leave her for her own good, and that I had to do it in the first place.

"No! I don't understand at all!" She had turned her body to face me on the bench seat, and her anger was rising again. She spoke through clenched teeth and glared at me. "It's already too late. I _am_ involved with you, Edward, and James knows it. How does not seeing each other now help that? Tell me!"

"Tell you what? That I love you? I do, I fucking love you, more than anything. You know that. But I won't see you hurt because of me. I won't see your face in place of that girl he almost beat to death when I shut my eyes, Bella. There's nothing I won't do to keep that from happening! _Nothing!_"

I was panting in anger, frustration, and fear. I realized I'd turned in my seat to face her, as well. My hands itched to reach out and grab her, pull her to me, and kiss the ever-loving shit out of her. And then strip her, pull her underneath me, and fuck her until there was no doubt in either of our minds how much I loved her, how I'd do anything for her. I had to protect her, and she just didn't fucking understand. I'd give her the truth. I'd give her all of me, right down to the primal fear that coursed through my body at the thought of her being harmed. I huddled in my corner of the truck and stared straight into her dark eyes.

"I'm terrified, Bella. Even imagining you being hurt…you don't know…you can't understand…" The mental picture of that girl flashed across my mind's eye, but it was Bella's dark hair I saw instead of the blood-soaked blonde strands that had actually been there that day. I ground my teeth and clenched my fists, feeling my eyes fill.

_No_. Just no. I fought desperately to calm myself.

She searched my face and saw my anguish. Her eyes went from hard, confused, and angry to soft with understanding. _Finally_.

"Edward," she whispered. I swallowed rapidly and tried to concentrate on what she was saying. "Think about it. How would it be better if we don't see each other? You won't be with me. I'll be alone—alone before and after school, alone on the weekends. He already knows we're together and that we have been for a while. If he does come after me, he'll do it whether we're together or not, right? Don't you see it will just make it easier? At least if we're together, it will be harder for him to get to me. I'll feel safer—I'll _be_ safer—if you're with me."

Well, fucking hell. She was right. I thought about what she said, and leave it to my brilliant girl to cut through the bullshit, knee-jerk reactions, and my fucking madness. I blinked rapidly. I'd gotten her into this mess, and the worst thing I could do was abandon her right in the middle of it. Lucard was a smart lunatic. It wouldn't take much checking on his part to find out how crazy I was about Bella. He'd see our "breaking up" for what it was—a stupid attempt on my part to try to divert his attention, and he'd take advantage of it. The comprehension of reason cleared the fog of fear from my brain, and I started thinking more like my normal self. I began planning. She was rarely without me by her side, and from that point on, rare wouldn't begin to describe how often she'd be without me.

Bella slid tentatively closer. "We'll be careful together, Edward. We'd be so damn miserable without each other we wouldn't notice the first thing that was going on around us. We'd be in more trouble, not less."

The relief I felt was overwhelming and immense. I gave in to the urge I'd been wrestling with for the past hour and pulled her against me roughly, wrapping my arms as far around her as they would go and hugging her to my chest. It felt so good, so right, so much better, and I realized what a moron I'd been. I could never stay away from her. Not even for her own good. Not as long as she wanted me, too.

"I'd be miserable without you, huh?" I finally murmured into her hair, after she had soothed me back from the edge of madness. A small smile turned one side of my mouth as her words sank into my feeble brain.

"Yep." She sighed, echoing the relief I was feeling. "Goddamn miserable."

I huffed out a laugh, smiling and snuggling her closer. Thank God she was smarter than I was and so much braver. She'd called me on my bullshit and put me firmly in my place, despite her own fear and confusion. I was absolutely fucking in awe of her. I didn't deserve her, but I would try every day of my life to make her I believe I did.

"Pretty goddamn miserable," I agreed, lowering my head as she lifted hers. I brushed my mouth against hers gratefully and was rewarded by the feel of her smile against my lips.

We kissed slowly, deeply for many long minutes. There was no sharp spike of desire driving us on, just an infiltrating feeling of satisfaction, relief, and just plain rightness.

"I love you, Edward," she murmured when we broke apart and held each other, neither of us willing to let go after I'd come so close to screwing everything up. "Don't ever do that again."

"Do you have any concept…" I shook my head, unable to find the right words. I didn't know how to tell her, to express how I felt. "Do you have any idea at all how I feel about you, Bella?" I loved this girl. I _loved_ her. "If something happened to you, if I hurt you…" I couldn't even finish the thought. My entire body went rigid in denial.

She pushed back slightly, looking at me in shock. "You would never hurt me, Edward. Never," she said with no trace of doubt or hesitation. My heart pounded painfully at this sign of her faith in me, but she still didn't get it.

"No." I shook my head again and swallowed, staring onto her wide eyes, willing her to understand. "If something ever happened to you, it would kill me. If something ever happened to you because of me, because of a situation that I put you in, that was my fault…" My mouth worked, but no more words came out. I couldn't articulate the devastation I would feel. My mind refused to even go there.

"It's not your fault, Edward. You can't control the actions of others." Her hand came up to stroke my cheek and then rub through my hair, trying to soothe my agitation. I closed my eyes and tilted my head into her palm, trying to let her.

She settled back against my chest, her arms sneaking around my waist to hold me close. The front seat of the truck was awkward and too narrow, but I had her safe in my arms, and I wasn't moving.

"I love you," she murmured, "but you're an idiot."

"What?" I was too thankful to have her in my arms to be anything other than curious.

"A big, dumb, overprotective, wonderful idiot," she sighed, and then snorted. "Like I would ever let you go."

"You'd be safer," I murmured. The tension and worry started to seep back through my contentment, but I fought it back. I knew she was right.

"I would not, so shut up. I thought we settled that. You're stuck with me, Cullen."

"I could never let you go," I admitted softly, knowing it was true down to the depths of my soul. I lay my cheek on top of her head, closing my eyes and taking a shuddering breath. The silky feel of her hair, the solidness, the warm, sweet scent of her centered me. "I am an idiot. I'm sorry, Bella."

In my attempt to spare her from physical harm, I had hurt her emotionally. Thank God she was so fucking smart and saw right through my shit. She'd made me see reason, and pulled us both back from the edge. Breaking up with her wasn't the answer, no matter how temporary or fake.

"We'll be careful, Edward." She lifted her head and looked up at me, her eyes big and soft in the dim light. A slight tremor shook her, and I tightened my hold on her. "I won't give him a chance to take me by surprise like he did tonight. You have to be careful, too."

"I will," I said, and reluctantly pulled away, digging into my pockets for my car keys. I wasn't ready to leave her alone, not even for the short amount of time it would take to drive back to her house. "We'll start by not sitting in an empty parking lot in the pitch dark. Prepare yourself for big, dumb, overprotective, idiot boyfriend behavior. I'm following you home."

The thought of James Lucard getting anywhere near her, of how close he'd been to her earlier when she'd been alone, defenseless, and what could have happened… I couldn't be with her every single second of the day, and neither could her dad. I couldn't protect her, not really, not all the time. I couldn't keep her safe from the kind of violence and viciousness Lucard could bring into her world, but I was determined to do my best. My best was pretty damn good, but Bella had no idea what Lucard could do to her. No normal person could understand, not unless they were unfortunate enough to see it firsthand. She hadn't seen what he'd done to that poor girl in Port Angeles, and I would do everything in my power to prevent her from having that kind of knowledge.

She had herself an idiot stalker boyfriend, whether she wanted one or not.


	28. Chapter 28: Filthy

**SM's Twilight, my CM**

**Thanks to SunKing and Sarahsumbrella for their beta skills and so much more.**

**The second half of this chap starts a rather lengthy excerpt I wrote last year for Fandom Gives Back, with some minor changes (mostly corrections). Thank you again to everyone who donated.**

**Sorry about not getting to review replies for last chap yet - I'm traveling and to say things have been crazy...well, things have been crazy! I'll get caught up this chap, I promise. With ffnet's new format, if you have PMs disabled, I can't reply.**

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**CHAPTER 28: Filthy**

My mom and dad and Chief Swan—Charlie—filed retraining orders against James Lucard. I figured while that might keep him from just randomly showing up and harassing her, it wouldn't keep him from escalating his little game against us physically if he wanted to. Chief Swan also talked to Jasper and his parents, as well as Bill's and Rick's just in case, even though Lucard seemed to have focused his attentions on me because of our longstanding mutual dislike and constant rivalry. He was jealous of me, but it didn't make me feel good in any way. I just wished he'd leave me—and Bella—alone.

I was with her constantly, and while we both enjoyed being together, she got a little cranky with me for constantly checking in with her, following her around, and wanting to know her whereabouts at pretty much all times. She finally complained one day, and I knew I was overdoing it with my protectiveness. I just couldn't help it. The anxiety was constantly with me. After talking to my mom and dad, I did see Aro for a few sessions to talk about the best and most healthy way to deal with the situation. I told Bella about it, and she was worried when I told her I hadn't been sleeping well. I'd been having nightmares of the day we'd stopped Lucard from beating that girl, but in those dreams it was Bella who lay there bloody and beaten. Talking to Aro helped, and eventually I was able to handle my concerns and anxiety in a much more healthy manner.

My talks with Aro, Bella's amazing understanding, and my own good sense let us return to a normal routine as the weeks passed, although we remained alert and aware of the threat Lucard posed. I was able to concentrate on practices and training. I was going to have to make a commitment to a college sometime that summer, and I turned my nervous energy to conditioning and playing better than I ever had. I'd talked to a number of recruiters, investigated athletic and academic programs, and narrowed down my interest to a select few schools. The one that interested me the most was Dartmouth. It helped that it was the school I knew Bella was most intrigued with, too, even though the tuition issue was a big one for her. I knew we could figure it out. I had a plan.

The Dartmouth scouts had been in contact and told my dad they were making a trip out to my next league game to sit down and talk to us more seriously. My usual obsessive-compulsive behavior was made worse because of my worry about performing well for the scouts, and I don't know how Bella put up with me. She came over the day of the game to just hang out, and we listened to music, before I tried to give her more lessons on the guitar. We gave that up by mutual agreement, and then we just sat outside on my balcony. We talked and kissed, and maybe there was a little more kissing than talking. She was warm, fragrant, and so very soft and responsive where she sat on my lap facing me as I reclined on the padded lounge chair. She reassured me when I expressed uncharacteristic insecurity about playing for the scouts at the game later that night.

My mom and dad drove me to the arena, and Bella came along with us. I didn't say much, my mind on the coming game, but her presence settled me and I knew I'd have a good night. She held my hand in the car and let me concentrate, kissing me softly but thoroughly as I lingered in the corridor between the lobby and the locker room when we got to the arena.

"You're going to be amazing," she assured me. "You are amazing."

"Thank you." I gave her one last kiss and shouldered my bag. "Love you."

"Love you." She smiled and watched me walk down the wide hall to the players' door.

They guys were listening to something really obnoxious in the locker room, so I put my earbuds in and cued up my pregame playlist on my iPod. I stripped down and put on my compression pants and shirt before going out into the hall to do my preliminary stretches and warm up before I finished dressing. There were a few coaches, trainers, players, and other people wandering around, but it was quieter than the locker room. I needed to concentrate and zone out a little to relax and focus on the upcoming game.

I stretched my legs, jogging in place once I was loose, getting my blood pumping and muscles warm. My arms got the same treatment, and I started my kicks, feeling ready, limber, and strong. I took a step and kicked a leg high, raising the opposite arm and touching my toes just over my head, repeating the motion for one leg and then the other until I reached the end of the hall. I turned and began jogging slowly back to the locker room to put on my pads, tape, and uniform, and saw Bella sitting on the floor against the wall at the opposite end. It was so unexpected that I froze and shook my head, wondering if I'd somehow jogged out into the arena while I had been preoccupied with my warm up routine. But no, I was still in the corridor, and she was still sitting on the floor staring at me. I pulled the buds out of my ears and made my way over to her.

"Bella! What are you doing down here? Why are you sitting on the floor?" I helped her up, watching her curiously. She didn't usually come down to the locker room before a game. As a matter of fact, I couldn't remember a time when she ever had. I started to get a little worried, wondering if something was wrong.

Her eyes roved over me greedily, stopping somewhere below my chest. She reached out and placed her warm palm on my stomach, just above the waistband of my pants, and it felt so good I wanted to moan.

I took a quick step back when I realized what she was thinking, glancing around to make sure no one was paying attention to us. She reached out again, and I grabbed her hand. I wanted to press it to my dick, and I think that's what she wanted, too, but that was really not the time or the place.

"Bella!" I hissed when she pushed against my grip, still reaching for my stomach.

"Uh…" she stuttered. She still hadn't met my eyes, staring at where she had touched me. I hid a smile. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't pleased my body distracted her. I relaxed my grip, and she hooked her fingers in the waistband of my pants. I found myself leaning in toward her despite the fact we were standing in the middle of the corridor.

"Fucking hell, Bella," I breathed in amusement. "You're going to give me a hard on, and you have no idea how bad that sucks when you're wearing a jock. Not to mention I'd never hear the end of it from the guys."

"Oh!" She blinked rapidly, and her eyes finally shot up to mine. I loved that color washed across her cheeks, but it didn't help with the trying not to have a hard on situation. "Um, your mom forgot to give you your mouthpiece, so I brought it down for you."

"Okay." I was glad she'd made the effort. I'd forgotten that my mom had it. I had others in my bag, but the one I'd taken out to make sure it was clean was my favorite. I waited a few seconds, but her eyes had wandered down my body again, and she made no move to give it to me.

"Thanks?" I prompted questioningly when she just stared. I fought back a laugh. I'd forgotten about her fascination with my compression pants. "Bella?"

"What?"

"Do you have the mouthpiece?"

"Oh! Crap!" She slapped her forehead and dug in the pocket of the jacket she was wearing to give it to me.

I frowned, taking it from her hand gingerly. I'd given it to my mom to boil and sterilize, and Bella had it in her pocket. Who knew what had been floating around in there, and now I had to put it in my mouth. I gave a mental sigh and made a note to rinse it well when I got back in the locker room. "Thanks for bringing it to me. I would have felt weird without my usual stuff tonight."

"I thought so. Well, good luck." She gave me another once-over, and I grinned.

"Thanks again." I gave her a quick, too-brief kiss, and then forced myself away from the temptation she presented. "Gotta go dress."

"Knock 'em dead." She gave one last, lingering look over her shoulder as she walked down the hall, bumping into one of the other team's trainers. She apologized, blushing madly, giving me a sheepish grin and wave as she disappeared into the arena.

It was one of those nights where the minute my skates hit the ice, everything just felt right. I knew I was prepared, both mentally and physically. When I was on top of my game, there weren't many who could outplay me. My body was in prime physical condition, responding instantly and automatically to every signal my brain sent to it. My mind seemed to be a step ahead, anticipating moves, seeing plays, and everything came together so that I could take advantage and perform better than I had all season—perhaps better than I had all year.

The other team's center was on my ass, taking cheap shots, pokes, and slashes, trying to slow me down so he could keep up with me. We scrapped in front of the net, which was expected, but he kept cross-checking me in the back, trying to knock me off balance and distract me. I finally got tired of the shit and threw an elbow in his face just as the puck came flying by us. I managed to deflect it to the top of the circle, but the ref caught my retaliatory elbow and gave me a whistle for it.

"You didn't see the fucking cross-checks?" I yelled as he motioned me toward the box. "If you're going to make a call, make sure it's the right one, damn it. If you're not going to call that shit, you can't call me for defending myself!"

_Fuck_. I threw myself down on the bench, grabbing a water bottle and pouring it over my steaming head. It didn't cool me either mentally or physically, and I watched in frustration as the game continued without me for two minutes. I split my attention between the ice and the penalty clock as I counted down the seconds, glad that the other team couldn't manage to score even playing five on four. As my penalty wound down, I stood, anticipating down to the second when the door would open and I could get back into play. I glanced at Coach, and he gave me the signal to return to the bench. The last second expired, and I jumped out of the box, watching what was happening down in our zone. As my foot hit the ice, Bill managed to clear the puck, and it came shooting around the corner along the boards right at me. I grinned as I caught it neatly on the blade of my stick and took off toward the other end of the rink, which was empty except for the goalie crouching in front of the net. Their defenseman managed to cut across the ice, but I slid to a stop and shot a one-timer past him, past the goalie, and into the goal.

_Yes._

My teammates jumped me, knocking me to the ice, but we were all laughing, yelling, and pounding each other anywhere we could reach. They hoisted me to my feet, and I skated over to the bench, bumping fists down the line before hopping over the boards and taking a seat. Coach came over and slapped me on the back in congratulations.

"Nice heads up play, Cullen," he said, and I raised my water bottle to him in acknowledgement.

I sat for a couple of minutes before getting called back on, and managed another assist as we won the game three to nothing. I showered and changed, packing everything back into my bag as quickly as I could. I knew the scouts, Bella, and my mom and dad were waiting for me.

"You going out with us?" someone asked. There wasn't a party planned for after the game. Instead, a bunch of the guys were going out to dinner together.

I shook my head, lifting my bag over my shoulder. "Sorry. Not tonight."

"Oohh," came another singsong, teasing voice. "He's got a date with Bel-la."

"Shut up, asshole." I didn't say anything about the recruiters. It felt like bragging, and I didn't want to give that impression at all.

"He's got a date."

"With a real girl."

"Cullen's going on a date with a girl. Guess we know where we rate."

I held up my middle finger as I headed for the door.

"Shut up," Rick told them. "He's meeting with the scouts from Dartmouth."

There was silence for a brief second, and then it started.

"Dartmouth?"

"Where the fuck is Dartmouth?"

"Is that part of the Original Six?"

"It's a college back east, you moron."

"Ivy League. I wouldn't expect you've ever heard of it."

I shook my head as I pulled the door open, and calls of congratulation and good luck followed me out into the hall. I knew they meant it. They might have given me hell as we all loved to tease each other mercilessly, but we supported each other, too.

I quickened my step when I saw Bella waiting for me at the end of the corridor, taking her hand and giving her a quick kiss when I reached her. My mom and dad stood on the other side of the front lobby talking to the two scouts from Dartmouth.

"See? All that worry, and you were great. Better than great," she assured me with a smile.

"Thanks. Are you coming to dinner with us?"

She shook her head, and I tightened my grip on her hand. "Nah. Your mom and I are going to head home."

I frowned down at our joined hands. I had a feeling it was going to be an important conversation, and I wanted her to be a part of it. "I'd like you to be there."

"No, you go talk, do what you need to do." She gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. "Dazzle 'em, and tell me all about it tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay." My dad was looking over at us, so I kissed her forehead. I wanted her there when we talked about my future, but I had a plan. I figured she'd probably be bored talking about hockey all night anyway. When we talked about our future and college, it would be better if it were just the two of us. We had some important things to discuss. I had some very personal things to say to her.

"I'll call you tonight if I don't get in too late, but for sure tomorrow," I told her, smoothing a strand of dark hair away from her face. "I've got a surprise for you."

"A surprise?" She frowned at me, and I smiled. She hated surprises.

"Yep. Dress comfortably. I'll be at your house to pick you up later tomorrow afternoon."

"Dress comfortably?" Her frown deepened. So did my smile. "Where are we going?"

"That's the surprise." I gave her a brief kiss and we headed over to where my parents and the scouts waited, stopping just outside of hearing range. "I love you. I'll talk to you later."

"I love you," she murmured in return, and the look in her eyes showed that she did.

I watched as she and my mom left the arena together, talking animatedly, and then turned to my dad and the scouts.

"Ready?" Dad asked.

I nodded and held my hand out to the first man, and then the other. "Hello, I'm Edward. Thanks for coming to Forks."

It was late by the time we got home from dinner with the scouts. I filled a glass with water at the kitchen sink, holding my cell phone in my hand. My finger hovered over the button that would call Bella, but in the end I put the phone back in my pocket. I thought she might try to wait up for my call, but I had a surprise to set up for her the next day. I was kind of nervous about it and a little concerned that I would just spill my guts to her over the phone. I didn't want to do that. I wanted to be able to touch her, to hold her when I told her about my future plans, because all of them included her.

My mom came into the kitchen as my dad walked in from the garage behind me.

"Ah, there are my boys," she said with a smile, leaning up to kiss my cheek before going to my dad and leaning up to kiss him—not on the cheek. I drank my water and refilled the glass before going over to the kitchen table to pull out a chair and sit. They both finally finished with their display of mutual affection and joined me.

"So," my Mom said, looking back and forth between us. "How did it go?"

"Bella got home okay?" I asked.

Mom leaned over and gave my hand a squeeze. "Yes, she got home just fine. I think I'm a pretty trustworthy escort, son of mine."

I rolled my eyes, but smiled.

"So?" she prompted.

"Well," I began slowly. "I thought it went really well. Dinner was good, and we talked about the school and their athletic program. They want me to visit to take a look around campus, the town, and the facilities. Meet the staff. We hung around for a while chatting and bullshitting before we left the restaurant. I thought it was a good sign they wanted to keep talking, especially on a personal level." I looked at my Dad. "What did you think?"

"It's not what I think that's important," he answered easily.

"Well, I'm asking," I said with a slight smile. He had developed the non-answer skill when Emmett and I were both little.

"I think Dartmouth is a great school, obviously. And it has a really good hockey program, although out of the Ivy League schools, Harvard and Cornell have actually won the NCAA championships."

"Hm," I grunted. I hadn't really liked the feel of the Harvard program.

"What did you think?" he asked me.

I thought about it before giving him my honest answer. "I like Dartmouth. I really want to go see the campus and the hockey program first hand. I'd like to meet more of the people involved. I especially want to spend some time with the coach. If everything goes well, and if they offer, I'm pretty sure I'm going to accept."

He nodded, watching my face. There was long moment of silence. "Pretty sure?" he finally questioned.

I looked down at my water glass, moving it in small circles between my hands. I thought about the decisions I had made concerning my future. "Yeah. I promised you guys that I'd go to college and graduate before playing in the NHL—and I do want to play in the NHL. It's one of the things I want for the future."

He waited a beat. "And what are the other things?"

"I do want a college degree. You know I'd eventually like to go into sports medicine." He tipped his head in acknowledgement. "And I have to admit I'd like the college experience." He smiled and nodded again.

"And?" he said softly when I didn't continue.

I took a deep breath. I knew I could tell him this and he'd listen—he'd believe me. He wouldn't tell me I was too young, that I had my whole life ahead of me, that there was no way I could be sure at my age what I wanted. There was no one else on earth that would understand, besides maybe Emmett and my grandpa, but I knew he would know exactly what I meant. My mom on the other hand…

"She's it for me, Dad. Bella. She's the one. I don't want to go without her." I looked down at my hands gripping the glass. I didn't want either of them to think I was one of those people who would change my entire future just for a girl. I didn't want to be one of those people, but she wasn't just a girl. She was _the_ girl.

"How does Bella feel about it?" he questioned. I noticed he didn't ask how she felt about me, and I was glad he didn't need to ask. I knew it was apparent. She wouldn't be the girl for me if she didn't return my feelings wholeheartedly.

"She wants to go to Dartmouth," I said, smiling when I thought about how her fingers would covetously trace the cover of the information booklet, the look on her face, and how she read all the information on the college obsessively when she thought I wasn't paying attention. The smile turned into a full grin. "She doesn't think I know, but I do. She doesn't want to say anything because she wants me to choose what's best for me." I shook my head. Being with her was what was best for me.

"She's a good person, Edward. Your mom and I…" He turned a smile on her and took her hand on top of the table. "Well, we couldn't be happier for you. Not that it matters what we think," he added, giving me a teasing look.

"It does," I said softly. "It does matter what you guys think, and at the same time, it doesn't matter, because she is a good person."

His lips twitched. "That was clear as mud."

"You know what I mean." I ran my hands through my hair. "I love her, Dad."

He glanced at my mom. "I know you do."

"When I think about my future, there isn't one thought that doesn't have her in it. But she doesn't think she can afford to go to a big school. She doesn't think she can afford Dartmouth."

"It's not inexpensive," he commented mildly.

I let out a breath in annoyance. "No, it isn't. But…I have enough money in my college trust to pay for both of our tuitions combined." Dad made a frustrating, non-committal noise. My mom's was slightly more recognizable as one of distress. "She's an amazing student, you know she's so smart… It would be a good use for the money and exactly what it was intended for. A Cullen to go to college."

He arched a brow at me in surprise. "She's not a Cullen yet, Edward."

"She will be," I said, knowing that was true down to the depths of my soul.

The noise my mom made was definitely one of distress. Dad squeezed her hand, and she looked up at him. "He's so young. Carlisle, he's only seventeen."

"I'll be eighteen next month." I sounded defensive despite my best efforts. I wouldn't allow my shoulders to hunch like they wanted to. I sat up straight and met their concerned gazes.

"He's only a few months younger than we were when we met," my dad said, not looking away from me.

"But we dated for a while before we got married. We both finished college, and—"

"I'm not planning on marrying her next week," I said, annoyed.

"And Bella?" Dad asked. "Have you talked about it with her at all? Or have you just planned it all out and decided that's what's going to happen?"

Jeez. He knew me too well. "We, uh, haven't exactly talked about it in detail."

"I didn't think so. You can't plan her life out for her, Edward, not without talking to her and finding out what she wants."

I bit back my instinctive, childish response. I did too know what she wanted. I knew she wanted to go to Dartmouth with me. I knew she loved me just as much as I loved her, but we really hadn't had any in depth conversations about the future

"I have plans to talk to her about it." I did, tomorrow as a matter of fact. My face heated. I didn't want to be thinking of exactly what those plans entailed in front of my parents.

"Plus, I imagine you would have a hard time getting Bella to accept that kind of money for tuition from you," Dad pointed out. "Charlie, too. Trust fund or not."

"There's always the Pacific Northwest Trust, though, and their scholarship program," I said nonchalantly.

"Pacific Northwest Trust." He stared at me thoughtfully. "That's actually a pretty good idea."

Bella was going to have to get used to having money once we were married. She'd have to get used to the idea that my family was well off financially. I'd already had some basic talks with NHL scouts, even though I wouldn't be ready for a contract for a while. I knew I could expect about a million dollars, give or take, as a salary my first couple of years, and a lot more after that if I kept up my level of play. I not only planned to keep it up, I planned to excel. Bella was just going to have to get used to the idea that she wouldn't have to worry about money. It came with the package.

I told my dad as much. "With my NHL salary, I can pay back whatever tuition money we need, anyway, no matter where it comes from. I don't want her to have to worry about it."

Dad cast me a wry glance. "Don't go spending the money before you have it, Edward. You know better than that."

I nodded, chastised, knowing he was right. But…it was true.

"Pacific Northwest Trust," he murmured. "Hm. It's something we'd have to talk about. She'd have to submit an application and all that, and you definitely have to talk to her first, Edward. No more planning the girl's future until you know what she wants. Not until she's said the words."

He knew me so well.

I looked over at Mom and saw tears welling in her eyes. My stomach clenched in fear, annoyance, a little anger, and anxiety. God, I didn't want to make my mom cry. I never wanted to be the cause of her disappointment, but it floored me to think she was upset about me making plans for my future with Bella. It never occurred to me that she wouldn't be happy for me. She read the look on my face and saw that I was confused and upset. Her hand went to her mouth as she let out a choked gasp.

"Oh, baby. My baby." She let go of Dad's hand and flew to me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and hugging me tight, her cheek resting on the top of my head. "No, no, it's not that. I'm happy for you, I am, but you're always going to be my baby. And I'll always think you're too young to leave and go to college and get…and get…_married."_

Her voice trailed off with a choked sob. She kind of had my head in a death grip, and I rolled my eyes around to look at my dad. His eyes were wide and he just shrugged helplessly. I reached around and patted my mom tentatively on the back. She was cutting off the circulation to my brain.

"Uh, Mom?" I tried, my voice muffled against her breasts. It was _so_ not the place I wanted to be. I tried not to flail as I frantically attempted to loosen myself from her hold. "Oh, jeez, Mom!"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," she said, letting go of my head and wiping under her eyes. I wanted to bolt for the sink and scrub my face. She cupped my cheeks in her palms and kissed me. I was still stunned into immobility. "I love you, Edward, and I love Bella. But college…and marriage…and..."

She grabbed me again, and my hands waved around uncertainly before finally settling on her back. "It's okay, Mom. Really. I'm not going anywhere for a while."

"Come on, Esme. Leave the boy alone." Dad had come over to us and gently pried her away from me. I shot him a grateful look.

Mom gave me a trembling smile and kissed the top of my head once more. "I'm sorry, baby. I love you."

"I know, Mom. I love you, too." I mouthed a "thank you" to my dad as he led her down the hall to their room.

He winked in return. "Good night, son. We'll talk later."

I sat at the table for a second longer, scrubbing my hands over my face and chuckling to myself. I wasn't sure what had just happened, but I did know I couldn't wait to see Bella. The next day seemed a long way away.


	29. Chapter 29: Sniper

**SM's Twilight, my CM**

**SunKing and Sarahsumbrella are my betas and I'm happy to call them friends. Thank you, ladies.**

**Thank you all for reading and all of your comments. Love them.**

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**CHAPTER 29: Sniper**

I woke early the next morning feeling anxious and excited and…anxious. I'd slept well, as nothing much ever ruined my sleep. I'd learned to grab it and hang on to it like a motherfucker when I got the chance. I'd been the victim of way too many four a.m. practices over the years. I knew it was early as I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, my thoughts focused on the conversations I'd had last night with the recruiters, my parents, and Bella. I knew my mom probably wasn't awake at this hour, and it was too soon to start preparing the food I wanted to bring on the picnic I'd planned for Bella, but…I could make a list. Make lists, that is, of everything I wanted to have with me to bring to the meadow. I knew this time of year it should be just about perfect. I'd studied blooming seasons of the various flora and fauna in the area, and I'd been watching the weather reports until I started to feel like my grandparents. They always had the damn Weather Channel on the television.

I rubbed my face, feeling the bristles of my whiskers on my cheeks and chin, and debated about shaving. I knew Bella liked my scruff. I really didn't enjoy shaving all that much, but I didn't want to hurt her skin. She was so sensitive, and I had to be careful about leaving whisker burn in places that were normally covered by clothes. I sat up on the edge of the bed and decided I'd see how I felt later. If my face seemed too scratchy by the time I got in the shower, I'd probably go ahead and shave.

I stood up, pulled a pair of cotton shorts over my bare ass, and stumbled over to my laptop. I sat at the desk rubbing the last grit of sleep from my eyes. My brain finally engaged, and I started listing food, drink, and other supplies I'd need that afternoon. I was determined to make the day memorable for her. I wanted to let her know what I saw for our future. I wanted to tell her how I felt and show her as well, so there would be no misunderstanding. I smiled as I thought about how she was going to try to freak out on me, but I wouldn't let her. She was the worrier; I was the planner. What I needed was a plan to make sure she wouldn't worry, and I thought I had a pretty good one.

It was still pretty early after I finished the spreadsheet on the supplies and other necessities I thought I would need. I started a list of pros on why Bella should go to Dartmouth, live with me, and why she should consider marrying me at some point in the future. I thought about making a con list, but I didn't like that idea, so I moved on to researching scholarships and grants available for a Literature or English major at Dartmouth. I found a number of interesting sites and bookmarked them, one being scholarships for children of law enforcement officers. That list was a lot more fun than thinking of cons to my plans, but I decided I'd better write them down them just in case. I wanted to be ready for anything she might throw at me. After I'd come up with as many cons as I could think of, I started a resolution list for every one of them and felt a lot better after it was done. She could argue with me all she wanted. I was prepared.

I went back to my "Potential Scholarships for Bella" file and opened up the information for the Pacific Northwest Trust. I made a list of questions. After that, I opened up the legal documents concerning the trust for my college funds, grunting in satisfaction when I found the clauses I had familiarized myself with over the past few weeks. I made more notes for my dad and the trustees. I felt a little calmer looking at the neat stacks of paper and meticulous notes, knowing I'd done my research and satisfied with the information I'd found. If Bella truly did want to go to Dartmouth with me, I was sure we could make it happen. Now all I had to do was talk to her about it.

I twirled idly around in a circle in my chair, thinking about all the ways that particular discussion could go wrong. I knew I'd have to approach her just right, so that she wouldn't be uncomfortable or defensive. I needed to do it in a way that wouldn't make her feel like she was under pressure of any kind. That would send her into a flurry of freaking—and she called _me_ broody. I stretched, smiling, loving even that about her, and knew just exactly how I'd approach the subject.

I pulled out my cell phone and sent Bella a quick text, fighting the urge to call her and hear her voice. I knew that if I started talking to her, I wouldn't be able to stop. I'd planned too hard, put way too much thought and effort into this little picnic to spill everything over the phone. It just didn't feel right to talk about something that desperately important when we weren't face-to-face. I told her I'd pick her up at five o'clock and to wear something comfortable so she'd be prepared. I sat and stared at the phone after sending the text, wondering if I'd make it until five o'clock. I wanted to tell her I'd be over right now. Maybe I could do…four o'clock? Three, maybe? No, no, I had to stick to my plan. Five o'clock, and I wouldn't change the time. I stuck my phone in the drawer so I wouldn't be tempted to text her again and tell her noon.

I glanced yet again at the clock, knowing Mom was probably up, but I figured I should let her get some coffee and food into her system before I started bugging her. I debated about taking a shower. I wanted to take one right before I left and saw Bella, but there was no such thing as being too clean. And it couldn't hurt to be fresh and squeaky when I appealed to Mom for help preparing all the food I wanted to bring with me. Plus, showering would take up some time. I went into the bathroom and turned the water on to warm up before I got in, peering at my face in the mirror while it heated. I felt my whiskers again, and went with my original decision to wait until later to decide if I should shave or not.

I stood under the water once the temperature was where I liked it, letting the warm water ease some of the tension in my shoulders. I turned and let it beat on my chest, relieving the tightness in there, too, but it did nothing to help the nerves in my stomach. I soaped up, turning back around and positioning myself so the stream hit my lower back by habit. I thought about my plans for Bella in the meadow and idly wondered if I should take care of the hard-on that subsequently made itself known. I decided to let it wait, as well. That particular coil of tension twisting my insides felt pretty nice, actually. I dried off and threw on a pair of jeans and a clean T-shirt before heading downstairs to the kitchen

Mom was standing at the sink, cleaning boneless chicken breasts and putting them on the cutting board to slice. I came up to her and kissed her cheek before opening the refrigerator door to grab some juice and milk.

"Good morning, Mom. Is that for me?" I nodded at the chicken.

"It's for your picnic." She lifted her brow with a smile. "I'm going to grill it with the herb recipe we had last week."

"That sounds great," I said, grabbing the egg carton and setting it by the stove. "I'm going to scramble some eggs, and then I'll help. Do you want any?"

"No, thanks." She shook her head and began cutting the raw chicken into strips.

I cracked six eggs into a bowl and paused, considering the state of my stomach. I was still a little nervous, so I didn't think I could eat as much as I usually did. I decided to only add two more into the bowl. I mixed them vigorously and poured the concoction into the pan on the stove. I sat at the table and ate while Mom made me some toast and finished preparing the chicken for grilling.

"I want to help," I told her, picking up my plate and carrying it to the sink. I drained my milk and then my orange juice, barely remembering to stifle a belch with a guilty look at her.

"Okay," she said, wiping her hands on a dishtowel. "What else did you want to bring?"

I pulled my food list out of my back pocket, checking to make sure it was the right one before setting it on the counter. I had a couple of other lists in my pocket no mother ever wanted to see. I saw her watching me with amusement and blushed. "What?"

"Nothing." She shook her head with a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. "I should know better than to think you wouldn't have a list ready, child of mine."

"I don't want to forget anything," I said, perplexed at her amusement. "I want everything to be perfect. I want this afternoon to be perfect for her."

"I know you do." Her eyes looked a little misty, and my confusion increased. She leaned up and ruffled my damp hair before turning to go over the list of food I wanted to bring.

She bobbed her head back and forth, one finger tapping her lip. "This looks great, Edward. Why don't you get the brownie mix out of the pantry? You can start on that. They'll need to cool completely before we frost them."

"Okay," I agreed, glad she was helping me. I had no idea why brownies would have to be cool. Wouldn't the warmth help spread the frosting? Oh well. I trusted her to know best.

We talked while I mixed and she sliced cheese into chunks and put them into containers. We talked about the details of dinner last night, the things the recruiters had told me about the program and the school. Dad came in and stole some cheese, and Mom smacked his hand. He grabbed her up for a kiss, and she was flustered and pink-cheeked when he let her go. _Ugh_. I bent to put the pan of brownies into the oven so I wouldn't have to witness the shameless display.

"I'm going to Port Angeles to meet Marcus for lunch," he said, naming one of his long-time friends as he rummaged for his car keys in the drawer. "And then I'm on shift at the hospital tonight. Are you and Bella coming back here after your picnic, Edward?"

"I think so," I said, peeking over the counter to see if it was safe to look at them. "I've got some sticks at the sporting goods store in Port Angeles. Could you pick them up for me?" I was a little picky about the lie and flex of my sticks, and the last bunch I'd had custom made hadn't been quite right.

"Sure." He gripped my shoulder as he walked past me to the garage. "Have fun tonight, Edward, and be careful. I'll see you in the morning." He winked at Mom. "I'll see _you_ tonight."

Jeez. Mom's cheeks were still a little flushed, and her eyes were bright as she pulled fruit out of the fridge to cut. It kind of skeeved me, but I was glad to see the Cullen Curse in action. They'd met and married young, and were obviously still in love. It could work—it _did_ work. I picked up a knife and began cutting fruit alongside my mom.

I mentally reviewed what we had prepared so far, hoping it was enough and that Bella would like it. She'd probably fuss about going on a picnic—she wasn't a big outdoorsy type—but I knew she'd love the meadow I had found hiking with Emmett years ago. It was secluded, beautiful, and peaceful. It was also very private, and would be perfect for what I had planned. I wanted to show her how much I loved her. I wanted to show her in a way she would never forget. I wanted to be permanently imprinted on her heart, body, mind, and soul, just like she was on mine. When she was fretting and I wasn't with her to provide distraction, I wanted her to feel the brand I was going to make on her heart so that she remembered. I wasn't very good with words, but I was a trained, conditioned athlete, and felt pretty confident I could show her with our bodies.

"Are you going to start cutting the cantaloupe into little heart shapes?" Mom asked teasingly, bumping me gently with her shoulder so that I didn't slice off a finger. "Duckies? Bunnies? Little flowery garland, maybe?"

"Shut up," I teased right back, feeling my face heat and ducking my head. When I glanced back at her, she had put the knife down and was turned to face me, her smile a little shaky. "What?"

"I'm so sorry about last night, Edward. I would never want to give you the impression I'm not happy for you. I love Bella. I couldn't imagine a more perfect girl for you. She loves you so much, and it makes my mama's heart fairly burst. It's just so very hard for me to see you all grown up, and think of you moving away…" A tear trickled down her cheek, and I put my knife down so I could wrap my arms around her.

"I love you, Mama," I said into the top of her head, and she let out a choking half-laugh, half-sob.

"I love you, too, Piglet." She smiled, reaching up with both hands to hold my ears, pulling me down so she could kiss my forehead. She sniffed, taking a step back and touching the corners of her eyes. "Now, what kind of crackers do you want to take with the cheese?"

We finished cutting, prepping, and packing, and she shooed me out of the kitchen after tripping over me for the third time. I was getting a little anxious again so I decided to put in a work out session, which always settled me. I changed into a loose tank and cotton shorts and went down to the gym on Emmett's floor. The slick tile system was in place on one side of the room, providing a surface that imitated the ice. I grabbed my retrofitted practice stick and dropped a ten-pound weight plate over the shaft so it slid down and caught on the stop I'd attached just above the blade. It made it possible to add as much or as little weight as I wanted for different exercises. I used the equipment in the room to warm up and stretch before I grabbed the weighted blade and began my stickhandling drills.

When I was done I felt much more centered and relaxed, but I could still feel the anticipation coiling in my belly. I went up to my room to shower and got distracted by my e-mail. I'd had some correspondence with NHL scouts, even though I wasn't participating in the upcoming NHL Entry Draft. My eighteenth birthday was only a few days prior to the draft date, and Dad and I decided I would wait until the next year since I wouldn't be going pro until after I graduated from college. I returned the e-mails and then it was time to get clean.

After my shower, I rubbed some product into my hair as I stood in front of the mirror examining my face. I rubbed my jaw and decided to shave after all. The last thing I wanted to worry about was burning the soft skin of her face, breasts, and thighs with my whiskers. I shaved carefully before abandoning the towel I had slung around my hips to dress. Once that was taken care of, I got my lists out to make sure I had everything I needed. I grabbed the big backpack I'd dug out of storage that would fit all the food, drink, and other supplies I wanted to bring and headed downstairs.

The kitchen was empty, so I grabbed a couple of those blue cooler things and packed the food and drinks on top of them. I checked my list one last time before carrying the bag out to the garage to put in the trunk of the Volvo. I went back inside to get a blanket out of the linen closet and stuck my head down the front hall.

"I'm leaving now, Mom."

She appeared in the doorway of the master suite. "Have fun, honey. Tell Bella hello."

"Thanks for everything. You know I wouldn't have been able to put this together without you."

She smiled. "Oh, you would have gotten it together eventually, but it wouldn't have looked half as good." She winked. "I'll see you later."

I grabbed my Ray-Bans off the counter, smiling as I slipped them on to sit low on my nose. It was time to get the girl.

I pulled into Bella's driveway and turned off the car. I couldn't wait to see her, to talk to her, to tell her about the recruiters and what I had been researching—all of it. I knew that just blurting out I wanted to pay for her college and marry her would probably send her running and screaming. Not because she didn't want it, too, but because she didn't deal with major, life-changing information like that very well. My Bella liked to process change a little at a time. I smiled to myself. I'd give her all the time she needed as long as she listened, and as long as I could get her to say yes in the end.

I got out of the car, but before I could reach her front door, it suddenly flung open and she was there, smiling and jumping into my arms. It was the best way to be greeted, ever. I laughed at her exuberance because I was just so happy to see her, and because I realized the nerves that had been residing inside my skin since that morning had disappeared. A calm conviction replaced the anxiety as I stared at the girl in my arms. I knew it was right. It was everything. She kissed me, her lips sweet and soft, her tongue wet and warm on mine. Her legs wrapped around my waist, and I grabbed frantically at her thighs and ass so we both didn't fall down the porch steps. She had taken me by surprise, and my balance wavered slightly. I took a step sideways with my mouth still on hers, bracing her back against the house. _Ah_, much better. I gave kissing her my full concentration.

"Hi," she said breathlessly when I finally lifted my head. Her face was flushed, her hair was tousled, and her lips were pink, shiny, and wet. She was fucking beautiful. She owned me, body and soul. I realized that fact with peaceful clarity, and all was right in my world once again.

I smiled at her, pleased with the insight. "Well, hello yourself."

She unhooked her ankles from the small of my back and slid down the front of my body. I held her against me, loving the friction, and groaned as my cock twitched. _Down, boy_. I couldn't resist placing one more quick kiss to her mouth as she stood on her own two feet. I kept my hands on her waist to steady her, just in case. We were still pretty close to the stairs.

"I missed you," she said softly, her eyes wide and earnest on mine.

Her words shot straight through my heart to my groin. I pressed my hips against hers in a quick, instinctive motion, and then I had to step back so I didn't do it again.

"Yeah. It's been a whole twenty hours or so," I said gruffly. I knew how long it had been pretty much down the last minute. I'd been watching the clock ever since I got home the night before.

"What?" Her brown eyes widened and blinked slowly. She purposefully made them soft and sad, sticking out her lower lip. I suppressed another groan. She knew there wasn't anything in this world I wouldn't do for her when she looked at me like that. "You didn't miss me?"

_Christ_. More than she knew. I couldn't ignore the heavy pressure between my legs any longer. I took a step toward her, pressing her against the house again until we touched from thigh to chest. I slid my hands over the flare of her hips and under the blue T-shirt she had on, gliding along her silky skin. I lowered my head to sweep my nose from her collarbone to her jaw, lifting my head slightly to run the tip of my tongue over the pliant fullness of her lower lip.

"Every hour," I admitted, letting the words flow over her skin. "Every minute." I tilted my head and slipped my tongue into her mouth, filling her, tracing a pattern across her teeth, her cheeks, her tongue. "Every second." Desire rose sharp and demanding between us. I was caught in my own trap. I twisted my fingers in her long, dark hair, just below the curve of her skull, and held tight as I took her mouth once again.

She let out a needy little whimper. It was that sound I craved, lusted for, salivated over. _Yes… _I wanted to take her hard, right there in view of anyone driving by on the road. I wanted everyone to see she was mine. I didn't know how I was able to loosen my hold on her hair and on her body, but I managed it.

She made another incoherent noise. It didn't do much for strengthening my resolve not to ravage her on her dad's front porch. The dazed, bemused look on her flushed face didn't help, either. She stared at my mouth and sighed, raising her hand to run her fingertips over my lips.

"Kryptonite, I tell ya," she breathed, and I had to laugh. I loved her superhero fantasies. I loved that she saw Superman behind my Clark Kent.

"C'mon, Lois," I told her, smiling down into her face. "I got us a picnic planned."

I could see her surprise, and then she scowled. I held back another laugh. I figured she'd be resistant at first, but I knew she'd love the clearing. I hoped she'd end up enjoying herself.

"Great," she huffed, rolling her eyes. She pushed gently on my chest so I wasn't crushing her into the siding. "That's my surprise?"

She grumbled something else I couldn't catch as I waited for her to lock the door. I came up close behind her, taking her long, curling hair in my hands and lifting it aside. Her smooth neck was exposed to the cool air and my lips.

"You'll like it, I promise," I said, skimming my mouth over her. She shivered and her skin pebbled as I pressed my mouth to the sensitive place right where her shoulder curved into the column of her neck. She made that noise again, and I couldn't help another pleased laugh.

"You just think you're all that, don't you?" she said in mock annoyance. I put my hand on the small of her back as she descended the stairs and headed toward the Volvo.

"What can I say?" I hid a smile. As long as she thought I was all that, it was all good. "You just bring it out in me. It's your fault, really."

The look on her face was priceless. She recovered admirably, sticking her cute little nose in the air and sweeping past me like I was a servant as I held the car door open for her. I walked around the front of the Volvo, feeling her eyes on me. I put a little swagger in my stride and smirked at her, tipping my sunglasses down my nose. I looked at her over the top of the frames and gave her a perfectly arrogant wink before opening the driver's door and sliding into my seat. I could feel the challenge rising off her. She was practically vibrating with it. She laid her head back on the headrest and gave me a completely fake and massive yawn, patting her dainty little hand over her mouth for effect. She was awesome.

"Boring you, am I?" I asked with a chuckle. I ran my hand teasingly between her thighs as I started the car. She lazily rolled her head down to rest on her shoulder, closing her eyes, letting her mouth go slack, and snored. She fucking _snored_. So my girl wanted to play, did she?

I stretched in my seat and expanded my chest, bringing my free hand up to rub suggestively just underneath my collarbone, tracing the curve of my pecs. I kept my eyes on the road, but I could tell she was sneaking a look at me. _Ha_. I let my hand drift lower, circling my bellybutton and running along the waistband of my jeans. She focused on the movement, angling her body so she could see better. I kept my eyes on the road as I abandoned my belly and went for the big guns—so to speak. I let my fingers trace along the length of my erection, fully evident under my jeans, and let my palm cover it. I couldn't help an involuntary stroke. Christ, I was hard as a rock.

"All right!" she shouted—thank God. Any more and I'd be coming in my underwear. "Uncle!" She bared her teeth at me a little, and it wasn't doing anything to lessen the potential for messing my pants. "Christ!"

"Uncle Christ?" I asked, amused despite myself. "That's a new one."

"You suck." She threw herself back into her seat, crossing her arms over her stomach and pretending to pout, but I saw the smile trying to break over her face.

"Well, _you_ could, if you'd like. I'm up for it as you can see," I teased. And…_why_? Now I'm thinking of her lips wrapped around my cock. There was no way I was getting rid of this erection anytime soon. My mouth just kept running. Hmm…_mouth_….

"You wish!" She cast me a look of mock disdain.

"Yeah, I do," I grumbled, reaching down and easing the bite of the buttons over my dick. Hmm… _bite_… Fuck! I glanced at her and saw her staring at the obscene bulge in my lap, and she licked her lips. Licked. Her lips.

"Cut it out," I rasped, desperate.

"It's your fault, really." Oh, she did not just throw my words back in my face.

"Cockblocker," I dared her.

"Tease," she tossed right back, grinning.

She was the tease. I loved it. I loved her. I loved she could not only take my shit, but she gave it back and rubbed it in my face. I reached over and picked her hand up in mine, holding it firmly, hoping I would never have to let it go.


	30. Chapter 30: One On One

**SM's Twilight, the rest of this mess is all me.**

**SunKing and Sarahsumbrella beta, support, and encourage. Thank you.**

**Looks like ffnet review replies are being faily mcfailureson yet again for anyone who sent one since 6/17. Sorry, hopefully they'll fix soon. Again.**

**So, fair warning - this is a whopper in both length and lemon. I wrote a little bit of Iceward POV at Sarahumbrella's urging a long time ago, and this is what happened. Love you, bb.**

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**CHAPTER 30: One-On-One**

I drove down Highway 110 toward Port Angeles, knowing I'd be turning off the road long before then. Bella was quiet but seemed content as we drove, and I watched carefully for the hard-to-find, overgrown road where I needed to turn. I saw the break in the trees up ahead and slowed to guide the Volvo over the rough ground. I followed the dirt two-track for a mile or so until I saw the clear area where I could pull the car off the road a little bit. I knew that marked the path to the clearing where I wanted to take Bella. I pressed the trunk latch, turned the engine off, and opened the door.

"Where the hell are we?" Bella asked suspiciously, not making a move to get out of the car. She craned her neck to look warily out the window at the tops of the tall trees, like she'd never been in the woods before.

I arched a brow at her, and she scowled back at me. "C'mon, Nature Girl. Picnic time."

She huffed, but opened the door and got out slowly. I walked back to the open trunk, and she came around from her side, rubbing her hands up and down the tops of her thighs. I pulled out the backpack and blanket, setting aside the extra hockey equipment that always seemed to be floating around in the trunk. I never knew when I'd need an extra stick or pair of skates. I stuck my arms through the straps on the pack—it was a little heavier than I had thought, but still no big deal—and handed her the folded blanket. She tucked it under one arm, and I took her hand, smiling down at her, excited that we were finally there. I couldn't wait to get her alone in the meadow.

"Ready?" I asked.

"After you, fearless leader," she retorted, and I rolled my eyes.

We started down the path that was barely visible through the brush and trees. I walked slowly, knowing that Bella didn't move swiftly at the best of times. Being on a barely-there path in the middle of the forest could be a recipe for disaster if I wasn't careful with her.

She asked me some questions about being a Boy Scout when I was little, and it was my turn to scowl. I let go of her hand and held branches out of her way so she wouldn't get scratched or poked. I'd been in the Scouts for a short time, until it became apparent that group activities where the grown-ups obviously weren't doing all their research was not the thing for me. I remembered a trip to a wildlife rehabilitation center outside of Seattle that Mr. Crowley had led. He hadn't even known that cougars and mountain lions were the same animal. It had happened before, when we'd gone to the museum, and Mr. Newton thought the Cenozoic Era occurred before the Paleozoic. I mean, really.

"They said I was too bossy," I told her. Actually, Mr. Newton had said I was a bossy little know-it-all. I'd been listening in the hallway when he'd had the discussion with my parents. I'd thought that was really mature, an adult calling a twelve-year-old names, but what was great was watching my mom lose her shit all over him. Yeah, there was no denying where I got my temper. She and I had long fuses, but when we blew…holy crap, look out. I had to admit it was pretty cool seeing my dad trying to keep her from bitch-slapping Mr. Newton.

Bella made some smartass comment about my bossiness, and then asked me if I subscribed to the Boy Scout motto.

"What, 'Be Prepared?'" I asked. "Why?"

Didn't she realize by now I made it a point to be prepared for pretty much anything? I would have made a great Boy Scout. Stupid Mr. Newton had no idea. She asked me if I had condoms in the backpack, which I thought was hilarious. So, my girl wouldn't need convincing to engage in outdoor sex. Good to know. It made my plans for the afternoon that much easier. We bantered back and forth as I walked a little way ahead of her. She was pretending to be put out, but I could hear the humor and enjoyment in her voice. I smiled in satisfaction. She had no idea what I was prepared for.

I saw the meadow just ahead and turned back, wanting to be with her when she first saw it. I took her hand, and she almost fell, but it was a good excuse to pull her against me. I held her as she looked up and froze. I glanced out over the clearing and saw what she did—colorful flowers spread over the green of the grass and bright sunshine lighting everything in a warm glow. She turned her head to stare at me, open-mouthed. I couldn't help but grin at the look of wonder on her face.

"Holy wow. It's beautiful, Edward," she breathed.

I had to kiss her. She sighed when our mouths touched and brushed the tip of her nose along mine in an affectionate gesture when we pulled apart.

"Thank you for bringing me." She hugged me and turned her head to look over her shoulder, taking another peek at the view. "How did you ever find this place?"

"Emmett and I came across it years ago when we were in our hiking phase." I tightened my arms around her, relieved that she was as impressed with the peace and beauty of the meadow as I was. "I still come out on occasion. It's a quiet place to think and get away."

I forced my arms to release her and took the blanket, shaking it out and moving to spread it over a comfortable looking spot in the shade. When I turned back around, I saw that Bella had taken a few steps out into the sun, lifting her face and spreading her arms. She tipped her head back, a serene smile curving her mouth, and my heart thumped painfully. The light shone in her hair, lit her pale skin, and highlighted the beauty of her features. I was mesmerized as I moved closer, not wanting to disturb the moment but helpless to deny the need I had for her.

I stopped only inches away, my eyes never leaving her face as she enjoyed the sun. My hand reached out, and I saw my fingers were trembling. I wanted to grab. I wanted to take. I wanted her to be mine in every sense of the word. I fought back the urge to fist my hands in the thick strands of her hair where it trailed down her back. I forced my fingers to brush gently over her and my feet to take a slow, careful step forward. My eyes closed, and the air left my lungs as I felt her against me. I wanted to shout with pleasure when she leaned back, accepting me and wanting more.

"Love you." It was all I could manage as I bent my head over hers. I pulled her into my body, covering as much of her as I could. I never wanted to let her go.

She turned, and I loosened my hold just enough so that she could face me. Her eyes were closed, and that beautiful smile still curved her lips as she lifted her face, wordlessly asking for my mouth. I gave it to her—I gave her that and more. I lost myself in the taste and feel of her. Her fingers tightened in my hair, and a bolt of hunger ripped through me. I knew I had to let her breathe, had to stop crushing her. Someday soon, maybe. I rested my forehead against hers but couldn't stop taking little kisses from her mouth as I held her up off the ground. I didn't have enough willpower to let her go completely.

She made a sound—_that _sound—and wiggled her hips against mine. I grunted, losing the tenuous grip on my need, and lifted her up so her legs wrapped around my waist. I kept one hand on her back, holding her securely against me. The other slid down the line of her back to the curve of her ass, cupping, holding, and I pressed my fingers into the pliant flesh through the denim of her jeans. I stroked my fingers along the hot, faintly damp material between her legs. Ah, there was that noise, but louder, better, longer. She tossed her head back, and I felt her hair tickling the arm I had banded across her shoulders. I stared at her white throat, my mouth watering, wanting to bury my teeth in it…and my stomach growled. Demandingly.

Her head snapped up, and she stared at me with her mouth open, a look of astonishment and frustration on her face. I grinned sheepishly, and after a second I was relieved to see an answering smile light her features.

"Sorry," I apologized. It was my fault for not eating anything. The eggs and toast at breakfast and the soup, sandwich, and cookies Mom made for me at lunch hardly counted. I let her legs slip from around my waist and set her on the ground, my hands resting heavily, possessively, on the curve of her waist. Her eyes were soft and indulgent, and any doubts I had that this girl understood me and loved me were washed away in that second. Now all I had to do was make sure she knew I felt the same.

"This is one of those times I wish I could be in two places at once," I told her softly, never taking my eyes from hers. "Food," I indicated the blanket and backpack on the ground behind us with a nod of my head, "and here with you, in the sun. Bella." I swallowed heavily, bringing my hand up to brush against her soft, pink cheek, and took the plunge. I knew she'd be waiting for me when I landed.

"I want to strip every stitch of clothing off of you and fall to my knees at your feet." God, I wanted to love her, every day, for the rest of our lives. She was mine. She would always be mine. "I want to worship you in the sunshine, right here, right now. I want to mark you. I want to be so far, so deep inside you that I'll carry the feeling with me forever."

I wanted to ravage, so I forced myself to kiss her softly on the smooth skin of her forehead. She shivered slightly at my touch, and I knew she was just as affected as I was. Deep inside, the primitive Neanderthal roared and beat his chest in triumph. I hadn't scared her away—not yet—and the relief I felt was heady.

"I want you, Bella. All of you, all the time," I admitted. There was no reason not to tell her. She knew it, but I wanted her to understand the intensity and permanence of my feelings. "I don't want to scare you or anything, but that's how I feel."

She sucked her lip between her teeth, and I throbbed between my legs in response.

"I'm not scared of you, Edward," she said, and everything male in me rose to the challenge.

"You're going to wish you hadn't said that," I growled, my hands gripping her waist. "Not after I get done with you."

"I'm just scared you may have forgotten those condoms," she taunted. "Bunches of them."

Like that mattered, and I told her as much. She had no idea of my intentions for her that afternoon, and the thought settled me. I just had to stick to the plan. "But I'm going to eat first. Care to join me?"

I started to lead her back to the blanket. She stopped in her tracks, staring at me. I hid a smile. God, I loved messing with her. Her eyes went to my mouth, and she licked her lips. Just like that, the tables were turned.

"Right," she stammered. "Food. Uh-huh."

I had to laugh, and tried to adjust myself in my jeans without her noticing. One hand reached out to tweak her nose while the other darted down to my crotch. Ah, a little better.

"I did go to a lot of trouble for this, you know," I teased. She followed me as I stepped backward to the edge of the blanket. "The least you could do is pretend to appreciate it."

She sat on the opposite side of the spread, well out of grabbing distance, which I thought was for the best if I was going to make it though dinner without jumping her. She didn't say anything, just sat staring at my hands as I pulled out the containers of food and a couple bottled waters—plain and sparkling—along with the silverware and the wet and dry napkins I'd brought. Her eyes lit up and she snatched the container of brownies out of my grasp before it had even cleared the zipper of the bag.

"Gimme," she demanded greedily. I watched as she lifted the corner of the plastic container and shut her eyes, breathing in deeply. A soft moan escaped her, and it was my mouth that hung open that time. What the hell? I was the one that was supposed to put that look on her face, make her utter those sounds. That was _my_ sound!

She pulled out a chocolaty rectangle, getting frosting on her knuckles and all over her fingertips. She took a bite and her head rolled back in abandon. Holy fucking hell.

"Mmmm." I was glad her eyes were closed, because I half-lunged at her at that breathless moan. God knows I'd heard it enough when she was underneath me. Or on top of me. Or…_Fuck_.

"No way you made these," she said. I think that's what she said. I wasn't sure. She opened one eye to peek at me, and then lifted her head to open both and stare. She smiled, and it was slow, satisfied, and sexual.

"What?" Her voice was all kinds of smug.

"That's…" My voice came out broken and rough. I tried to swallow, but my mouth had gone dry. I gave it another shot. "Kinda hot."

Yeah, I was stunning in my eloquence.

She kept her eyes locked on mine as she slowly brought her finger up and ran it along her lower lip, smearing a stripe of frosting along the pink of her skin. She stuck the finger in her mouth, puckering and tightening her lips around it. Her cheeks hollowed as she sucked, and my body twitched like a live wire.

"Ohh," she moaned like a porn star. "Mmm."

I knew what she was doing, but it didn't matter. I was male and madly in love with my girl. Jesus, she had me right on the edge.

"Evil," I breathed, not able to take my eyes from her sucking on her finger...sucking her finger clean of the brownies I'd made for her. My indignation snapped me out of the haze of lust. "I did too make those. Jeez."

She gave me a hard time about it, but in the end stopped our good-natured argument by holding up her hand. "No, it doesn't matter. They're delicious, Edward."

I'd actually made something she liked. I was undeniably pleased. When I'd tried to cook for her in the past, we'd ended up either getting delivery or she had to salvage the meal by making something herself.

"I cut the fruit, too," I told her, spooning some out onto a plate and offering it to her.

I opened the container of chicken and almost gave a moan of my own. I was starving, and it smelled so good. I also took the top off the cheese and opened the cellophane wrapper on the crackers. I was starting to feel a little steadier now that was getting food in me. We ate in silence for a while, passing containers back and forth along with a bottle of carbonated water, and enjoyed the late spring afternoon. She looked out over the meadow and then back at me with a contented sigh.

"Happy?" I asked. She looked it, sitting on the blanket across from me. Her hair moved in the gentle breeze with the green of the grass behind her. It was one of those moments that was like a picture in my head, a moment snapped in time that I knew I'd never forget.

"Yes. Thank you, Edward. Really. This is nice."

I let the moment linger, just watching her, and the calm assurance that I had experienced earlier swept over me. I finally tore my eyes away and glanced down at the almost empty container of chicken on my lap. I offered her some, embarrassed to note that I'd eaten almost all of it without even realizing. She leaned toward me, parting her lips and waiting for me to place the food in her mouth. I took a deep breath and speared one of the last pieces, bringing it to her and letting her bite it off the fork. There was something so primitive, so sexy, about feeding her, providing her with food…if I wasn't careful, that haze of lust was going to pull me under again.

She ate another brownie. I watched her carefully, but there was no repeat of the finger sucking. I was a little disappointed. I finished the fruit and drank down a bottle of water, sated for the moment.

"So," she began, stacking some of the food containers neatly next to the backpack. "You never did get a chance to tell me what the scouts said last night."

I nodded, looking down into the empty bowl in my lap. _Ah_. And so began the most important conversation of my life. I straightened my shoulders and took a deep breath.

"Yeah, it went well." I shut my eyes briefly, a smile crossing my face as I remembered the conversation with the recruiters the night before. "It went really well."

I didn't want to seem like an arrogant bastard, but their praise of my abilities and talent had felt great. I knew if anyone in the world would understand that conceit, she would. She'd allow it and even encourage it. There was no better feeling in the world than being with someone who loved and accepted me faults and all. I knew she was that person for me, and that moment was all about proving I was that person for her.

"You know they were from Dartmouth, right?" She nodded, finally setting those damn brownies aside. "Well, they liked what they saw last night." I let the pleasure of that fact ease through me. "The one guy has been out to see me play before, but getting a goal and two assists last night really helped my chances. I'm pretty sure—Dad is, too—that they'll make me an offer. And Dartmouth is the one I've really been hoping for."

She gulped and then gulped again. I thought for sure she was going to choke on that last bite of brownie, and we'd end up in the emergency room that night. It was not how I wanted that evening to go at all. I could practically see the wheels turning in her head as she processed the information. It was the first time I'd come right out and said it, and I was proud of her for not completely freaking out on me. I could see that she wanted to, but she was fighting it. She was fighting it for me, so that I wouldn't let it affect my decision. I smiled. My girl was a knucklehead—selfless, but a knucklehead. There was no way I would make any decision about my future without her being involved. She grabbed a bottle of water and pretended to drink, stalling for time to get her thoughts together.

"That's good then, right?" She eventually looked up at me. Her eyes were wide, tense, and stricken. While I was still faintly amused at her trying to pretend this was no big deal, it killed me to see her so upset over something that really _was_ no big deal. "Um, so where is Dartmouth again, exactly?"

She tried for a note of innocence, but I saw right through her. It was another stalling tactic. She knew exactly where Dartmouth was and everything it had to offer.

"New Hampshire," I supplied helpfully. She gasped and wheezed, coughing violently and pounding on her chest as she turned an interesting shade of crimson. I thumped her carefully on her back, waiting patiently for the fit to pass. If she thought choking to death was going to stop me from having this conversation with her, she was dead wrong.

"New Hampshire, huh," she wheezed, reaching for one of the napkins and wiping her face. "Huh. That's…a long way away."

"It is," I said easily. I kept my eyes on hers as I smiled an innocent, sweet smile. I baited my hook. "You know, I hear they have a great literature program."

She stopped breathing again. "Dartmouth?" she squeaked, and thumped her chest again, shaking her head. "Edward, seriously?"

"Seriously." I had to touch her, calm her down. I didn't like seeing her upset. My fingers traced over her flushed cheek. "What's so unbelievable about that?"

"Dartmouth…I can't…I couldn't…Tuition! Grades! Getting in! Tuition!" She spluttered, waving her hands around and almost knocking me on the head.

I set my hook. "They have scholarships." I cupped her face. Even though she was worked up, she pressed her cheek into my palm, unconsciously seeking reassurance. I'd give her that and more. "And your grades are plenty good enough. You wouldn't have any trouble getting accepted. I've got all kinds of college money set aside."

I cringed. I knew better than to just blurt it out like that. What was I thinking? I was ruining all of my carefully laid plans because I was so damn eager for her to see that it was possible. She had to go to Dartmouth with me. No other choice was acceptable. I couldn't imagine being without her. _Get it together, Cullen_. She jerked back as if I'd struck her, which I'm sure she felt as if I had.

"Edward," she seethed. "I am _not_ taking any money from you, no matter how stinking rich you are."

"Just think about it, Bella. Not the money," I backtracked, knowing I would have to work to get out of that one thanks to my big, dumb mouth. "But consider Dartmouth. We could go together. We could rent a place eventually, the two of us. That would save a lot on housing and food and everything. We could drive the Volvo out there. It's really good in the snow."

I was getting a little desperate. I _really_ needed to get it together.

I reached out and pulled her across the blanket to me, into the curve of my body, a position that made us both feel more secure. I could feel tension, frustration, want, and desire warring within her. I had no doubt she wanted to go to Dartmouth, but she was so very worried about the money and, even though she wouldn't admit it, the trepidation of moving across the country to an unknown place in an unknown city. She didn't have the unwavering conviction of what our futures held like I did at that point, but I was hoping she would soon enough.

"Wow. I don't know, Edward," she finally murmured. It didn't upset me. I knew she was talking about those insecurities rather than her uncertainty of her commitment to me. "I just…don't know. I need to think about it, process it all."

"Okay." I was calm and confident. I had no doubts about her, about us, or what I was about to tell her. With Bella, it couldn't be asked as a question. There could be no fanfare, no production, and no build up, or she would worry herself into a panic attack. I knew exactly how I wanted to approach the subject, the most important thing I'd ever said in my life.

"We have some time. I know it will be hard for you to leave Charlie, but I know if we're together, it will be fine." I reeled her in, leaving no room for misunderstanding. "I'm going to ask you to marry me, of course, but there's time for that, too."

She went dead still in my arms. I was surprisingly relaxed and at peace. I knew it was right, and I knew she'd realize it, too, once she got over being Bella.

She nodded robotically, automatically, the back of her head rubbing against my chest. I waited patiently. Her head was like a metronome, ticking through her thoughts. After a few seconds, the movement stopped, and I looked down at the top of her head before hiding my smile in her dark hair.

"What the hell, Edward," she said, her voice completely matter-of-fact. I was so proud of her I wanted to squeeze her until she squealed.

"Not right now, because that would be crazy." I continued smoothly. "We're too young, and it's too soon. But I will ask. Someday. Just so you know. Just so you know how I feel." I took a deep breath and handed her my heart, just as I would keep doing for the rest of our lives. "I love you, Isabella Swan, and I plan on doing everything I can to keep you forever."

She turned to face me and placed her hands deliberately on either side of my face, cupping my cheeks in her hands. She just stared at me, her eyes searching mine. A slow, sure smile curved her mouth.

"I'm in love with a crazy person. God help me," she breathed, leaning in so the words poured over my mouth. And then she kissed me, and I knew everything was going to be just fine. "It's never boring with you, is it?" she asked, only moving a breath away as we stared at each other, in perfect accord. "You make me nuts, Edward Cullen."

"Good. Same goes," I said gruffly, joy and relief making my voice catch in my throat. I brought my hands up to cover hers where they still rested on either side of my face. "I love you."

I'd never meant it more.

"I love you, crazy person."

I tipped my head down so we could rest our foreheads against each other, our mouths oh-so-close but not quite touching. I ran my hands over her forearms to rest on her shoulders. She shivered at my touch, and I ruled the world.

"Will you let me show you, Bella?" I asked her. I had figuratively laid myself at her feet, offering her everything I had to give and asking for everything in return. There would be no going back, not ever. "Will you let me love you?"

A slight frown wrinkled her forehead, and I suffered in silence until she spoke.

"I know you love me, Edward. I really do. You don't need to prove it."

I might not have needed to, but I wanted to. She sank her teeth into her lower lip as her eyes studied mine with concern and then widened in alarm as she misread my expression.

"I'm sorry," she said quickly, reaching up to grasp my forearm. "You just took me by surprise, that's all. I—"

"Shh." I pressed my fingers to her lips, halting her words. The last thing I wanted was for her to feel guilty. She was afraid she had hurt my feelings with her reaction to what I'd said about Dartmouth…about marriage. Silly girl. I knew her better than that. "I know you, mia Bella. I know I've completely freaked you out, and you're going to go home later and obsess and worry and tear yourself up over everything I've said." I knew her, and I knew that's exactly what she would do if I let her. The goal here was giving her something else to think about.

"I'm pretty sure you'll come to see my point, eventually, but I'm going to save you some steps. I'm going to make love to you, give you something to think about and remember when you're not with me." She gasped softly, and I smiled, my eyes not leaving hers. I touched the smooth, soft curve of her cheek and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I want to take away as much of that worry as I can, so when you're home beating yourself up and fretting your way through this, you won't have to question or have any concerns about how I feel. You'll remember this, here, right now, and you'll know how much I love you."

She wasn't blinking, and I don't think she'd taken a full breath for quite some time. Her eyes were wide and wondering on mine as I let my fingers graze over the sensitive spot on her neck, making her shiver. I slowly, deliberately eased toward her, my eyes steady and sure, not allowing her to look away. At the very last moment I ducked my head and placed my open mouth on the side of her neck.

"I love you, my sweet Bella," I said against her skin in Italian, knowing it made her melt when I spoke the language. I sank my teeth into the warm, firm flesh throbbing under my lips, her pulse strong and rapid on my tongue. I took a delicate, deliberate bite, sinking into her, sucking her taste, feeling the evidence of her desire as it raced and pounded in my mouth.

I fought the urge to devour when she rolled her head back with a sigh. Her smooth skin erupted in tiny bumps as I ran my lips, teeth, and tongue down her neck and across the slight protrusion of her collarbone. I thrilled at that proof she liked the feel of my mouth on her. She shifted toward me with a needy, restless motion, and I couldn't stop my hands from sliding down her arms, encouraging her, bringing her closer so I could run the backs of my knuckles over the sides of her breasts. I did it again because I could, and because I loved the feel of them even through her clothes. She made a breathy little noise, and it was close to the noise I thought of as mine, the sound I craved from her. I pressed my fingers a little more firmly into her warm, giving curves, and her hands went down to the bottom of her shirt to remove it.

Need shot through me at the signs she was just as eager for my touch on her bare skin as I was, but I forced myself to stick with the plan. I wanted her to acknowledge there would never be another—only me, the feel of my body, my heart, and my love for her. I wanted to be sure she would never forget it was me who loved her like this.

I reached for her hands, stopping her from pulling the T-shirt up any higher. I didn't think I could maintain control if I saw her beautiful breasts covered in whichever lacy fantasy she had chosen to torture me with. She knew my weakness for the sight of anything even remotely erotic next to her skin.

"No. Don't move. Stay still, do you understand?" I drew her hands toward me and dragged them along the top of each thigh. I opened her palms and placed one over each knee, pressing slightly once they were where I wanted them. Her fingers flexed in acknowledgement, but that wasn't good enough.

"Bella?" I could see the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed heavily in arousal. I could feel the rapid movement under my mouth when I pressed my lips against her exposed skin, again and again.

"Y-y-yes." Her voice was weak and unsteady. Triumph coursed through me at her acquiescence.

"Good," I said with satisfaction, sure she would leave them where I told her. I didn't lift my hands from her body as I slid them back up her thighs to the dip of her waist, across her stomach, and along her sides.

I enjoyed the contrasting feel of the material of her clothes—the rough, heavy denim and soft, smooth cotton—but not as much as I enjoyed the feel of her breasts in my hands. I held them, pressing firmly, sliding my hands up so that her hard little nipples poked into the center of my palms. My fingers engulfed her, and I pressed her breasts together, bending my head to the ample, rounded curves. Her breathing increased and she was trembling ever so slightly as I dipped my chin, catching it on the neckline of her T-shit and pulling it down to expose the deep blue mesh of her bra. I stared at the dark color against her pale, creamy skin and felt my own breathing start to accelerate. I shut my eyes and called on all of my strength of will as my tongue slicked right along the line where lace met flesh. She pushed against me, writhing and silently demanding my mouth on her nipples.

"Be still," I warned her, and she whimpered. The sound shot straight to my cock, which was urging me to get on with it already.

I ignored both of our bodies' demands as I covered her breasts with my hands once again. My fingers pressed and stroked firmly, unable to stay still on those tempting curves. She leaned slowly into my hands, increasing the contact and the pressure. Her eyes blinked open to watch me warily, expecting another warning, but I just held my hands to her. I was overwhelmed by her trust in me. My control was hanging by a thread at that point, and I had to give a little or it would completely shatter.

My hand fisted in the hair at the back of her head, gently at first, wrapping the strands around my fingers, and then I pulled her mouth to mine. I was able to temper my movements so as not to hurt her until our mouths touched. She whimpered, and with her hair wrapped around my fist, that sound coming from her, coming from her because of me… I went up in flames. I took her mouth hard, fast, and deep. I took her for my pleasure, knowing I'd caused hers. I became aware that she'd moved her hands when I felt them grab at my shirt, tugging desperately. I was surprised she'd listened to me and held them on her knees for as long as she had.

She leaned closer, and I grabbed her, plunging my tongue along hers. I wanted her to feel what I felt, wanted to share the intensity, and wanted her to burn, too. Her hands were in my hair, not to push away or stop me, but to take my wild need and return it in equal measure. I wanted to bear her down to the ground, pin her there, and fuck her until she screamed her acceptance that she was mine, that she wouldn't let us be parted, and that she'd marry me. It was because I wanted that so very badly that I was able to regain a modicum of control and back down from that edge. It was close, but it was Bella, so I was able to gentle my touch until I was kissing her lips, nipping gently and soothing her ravaged mouth.

She murmured my name, and God, what that did to me. I swear I could come just hearing her say my name like that. I eased away slightly, reaching to untangle her hand from my hair as she tried to bring my mouth back to hers. I held on to her, needing to feel her body on mine, and then lowered her carefully to the blanket. I rose up on my knees, quickly getting rid of the loose button-down I'd thrown on over my T-shirt. I gazed down at her lying before me, warm, willing, and pliant. Her lips were swollen, her face flushed, her hair a wild tangle, and she smiled, a smile full of woman and wise. She raised her arms over her head, sticking out her chest, and I couldn't imagine a more tempting sight. I was uncomfortably hard and had to rearrange things before permanent damage was done. Her eyes followed my hand down to my crotch and widened. She tried to squirm when I shifted my obvious erection, forgetting that I was kneeling between her legs.

I couldn't help the smile that curled the corner of my mouth at this obvious sign of her arousal, but I wanted more. I reached down and slowly tugged her shirt over those beautiful breasts, dragging it from her raised arms. I grasped her wrists once again and applied gentle, firm pressure, waiting until her eyes met mine.

"Stay. Just like that." When I saw that she would, I sat back and just enjoyed the sight of my girl lying prone before me on the blanket, waiting for my touch. It did unspeakable things to my ego and to my libido. She shifted restlessly, sinuously, her eyes accusing, demanding, and excited on mine.

_So beautiful_, I thought. My groin was tight, but so was my chest. It was brought home to me once again how much better, how much _more_ it meant being with someone I loved.

"Bella," I said aloud, my voice rough, the ache spreading from my chest to my throat. I reached out to run my fingertips over the bare flesh of her stomach. She twitched, moaning at the light touch. "So beautiful."

She rubbed against my thigh as I pressed it between her legs, allowing her some relief. I was rewarded with her glad cry, a louder, sharper sound than the one I loved to hear from her, but I reveled in it just the same. I had to concentrate on keeping my hands steady as I reached for her bra, snapping the front clip open and finally—_finally_—exposing her breasts. Her eyelids slowly lowered until her lashes rested on her cheeks as I lightly traced the tips of my fingers down her sternum, feeling the beat of her heart pounding against skin and bone. I stared at my hand circling her breast, moving ever closer to her tight, round nipple. She was so soft, so giving, so resilient—so demanding. Her hands didn't move from where I'd placed them over her head, but she twisted and lifted against my fingertips, seeking a firmer touch, a sharper sensation.

I gave it to her as I leaned forward and sucked the tip of one breast into my mouth. Her flavor slammed into me, the soft, fragrant flesh melting against my tongue. I sucked hard and felt each pull deep inside me, flowing from my mouth to my chest to my cock. I slid my tongue across the hardened nipple and then carefully pinched it between my teeth, knowing it would drive her wild. She let out a strangled moan, her hands tangling in my hair and her nails digging into my scalp as she pressed my head to her. It was a gesture that drove _me_ wild, and I gave in to her demand, moving to her other breast to nip and lick at that nipple, too. The taste, texture, and feel of her were my entire world at that moment. I nuzzled the soft mound and shut my eyes in pleasure, my mouth on her, my nose buried in her, my heart filled with her. Her chest was heaving, air sighing harshly in and out of her lungs as she arched with another long, low moan.

It was nearly impossible to pull myself away from the glory of Bella's breasts, but I sat back on my heels, my lips tingling and my hands itching to be on her again. I grabbed the back of my T-shirt in one hand and yanked it over my head before dropping it on the ground. Her head came up with a snap, and I couldn't help but flex a little as her eyes ran avariciously over my bare chest. Her gaze was glued to my hand as I ran it across my pecs and reached down to unfasten my belt. My cock jumped, as much from the hint it might be seeing some action soon as from the open hunger on her face. I abandoned the belt, still in the loops of my jeans, and popped a couple of buttons on my fly to relieve some of the discomfort of my straining arousal.

She was moving restlessly, and I leaned over her, caging her with my body and slowly lowering my chest to hers. I savored the anticipation of feeling her warm, soft breasts against my bare skin. I paused when I felt the tickle of her hard nipples brushing against me, wanting to prolong the sensation, but needing to feel her against me. I eased down until I was resting against her, groaning at the relief and panting at the tension that resulted from having her _right_ _there_, underneath me. My hips settled between her thighs, exactly where I was supposed to be, and it was like an electric shock surging through the both of us. Our bodies recognized each other, and I shuddered with the exquisite sensation.

"Yes," she breathed, her head tossing back and forth on the blanket, her hands coming up to grip my shoulders. I felt the bite of her nails and jerked with the sharp, thrilling sting. She caressed me in apology, and I shut my eyes at the feeling of her hands on my skin, and then it was her mouth on my neck, my shoulder. I bent my head and took her lips, lowering my weight gently onto her until she was once again lying back on the blanket.

I took my time seeking out every sensitive spot on her body. There wasn't anywhere on her torso, arms, fingers, or face that didn't receive attention from my fingers and mouth. I was dedicated and thorough. When I'd exhausted every available inch of her skin, I went looking for more, sliding the jeans off her hips and down her legs. She toed her shoes off and eagerly kicked her jeans away before I could reach down to help. I felt her feet wrap around the backs of my knees, her toes digging into my calves as she pushed up with her hips. The sensation of her rubbing against my aching cock caused me to twitch involuntarily against her.

"Yes, Edward. Please." Her voice was soft and breathy as she clutched at my shoulders. It was all I could do not to snarl in triumph and plunge into her body. She wanted me enough, trusted me enough, to beg for me. The jolt of gratification I felt was indescribable.

I gripped her hips and slid down, so that I was lying on the blanket with my shoulders between her thighs. My chin rested on her stomach, absorbing the heat of her, and I watched her breasts as they rose and fell with each rapid breath. Her head rolled slowly from side to side, and she was biting her lip. My tongue traced a circle around her belly button, dipping inside briefly before continuing down in a purposeful line to where the top edge of her panties rested against her soft belly. I lifted my head and watched her face again as tension, the agony of want, the anticipation and frustration built until she was teetering on the edge. I took a small, sharp bite directly between her legs and over her panties, right where she was hot, damp, and waiting.

Her hips jolted up in surprise, knocking me in the chin with her pubic bone and snapping my head back. I sat up in instinctive reaction, and she cried out at the loss. I had to hide a smile behind the hand I rubbed over the slight ache in my jaw. Leave it to Bella to give me whiplash while I was trying to go down on her.

"Your fault," she said unsympathetically, her eyes narrowed on mine. "Edward, _Jesus_. Please!"

Ah, there were my two favorite words to hear from her lips. _Edward_ and _please_. I slipped a finger under the tiny elastic band of her panties and slid them down her legs. Sitting back on my heels, I stared at the dark blue scrap of material before slowly crushing it in my hand. If I looked at her, bare and naked and spread before me, I'd be inside her within half a second. I waited until I could manage the almost uncontrollable urge, and then settled back to run my fingers along her slim legs, pressing into her soft inner thighs and stroking the sensitive skin behind her knees. I took them in my hands and pushed them apart.

The picture of her spread before me, thighs open, glistening, pink, and everything feminine, almost made me come undone. Suddenly sight, hearing, and touch weren't enough. All my senses wanted to be involved. I leaned down and placed a soft kiss on the inside of her knee, slowly running my nose along the silky flesh of her inner thigh. I paused just inches from her sex and inhaled, shutting my eyes. _Ah, scent_. Her skin was light, floral, and fresh, her arousal heavy, demanding, and sexual. Excitement coiled in my belly, and I leaned forward that last inch to pinch her swollen flesh between my teeth. She gasped and thrashed, and I thought she would burst right in my mouth. I reached out with my fingers to gently stoke the slick, intimate skin between her legs, teasing us both as I circled closer and closer to the entrance to her body. Finally I was there, and I eased two fingers inside, watching as she took me in, clamping greedily, her hips lifting and wanting more. It was time for that last, neglected sense to be involved, and I opened my mouth to cover her. _Ah…taste…._

She let out a strangled cry. I lifted my head slightly, pursing my lips to blow cool air across her shivering, wet skin. My fingers stilled, and I couldn't take my eyes from between her legs. "Shh."

When I made no move to continue, she reached down and pulled my hair. Hard. "Come back… more… again…" she panted. And then there it was. "Please!"

I licked, my tongue touching my fingers where they were still buried inside her and slicking up to that rise of flesh. My lips closed around it, adding careful, firm suction. She shrieked, a short, startled sound, and her back bowed as she tried to get away from the intense sensation but wanting more all at the same time. I let my fingers slide out of her, bringing both hands around her hips to grab the cheeks of her ass, holding her still against my lips and tongue. When I was sure she wouldn't move again, I let go with one hand, brushing along the crease of her pert ass, tickling and searching lightly. She jerked sharply with pleasure as I ran my fingers over that secret, intimate place, continuing down to the sweet pink folds between her legs. I used my thumbs to spread her lips, and I lapped my tongue inside her.

There wasn't any part of her that went unexplored, untouched, unlicked, un-nibbled, or unlaved. It was delicious—her taste, her scent, her response, her moans, her gasps. It wasn't long before her breath hitched and hitched again. She went silent, just like she always did before she came. The longer she was motionless and didn't breathe, the bigger her orgasm. It had scared the crap out of me the first couple of times, but now it was a challenge to see how long I could make her go without taking a breath—when I was able to concentrate on it, that is. Her body strained, every muscle locking down in an effort to achieve her release. I glanced up, realizing she was mouthing _"yes"_ and _"please"_ over and over. I almost came right then.

The air finally left her lungs in a whistling cry, and she shuddered and shook so hard I could barely hang on to her. She was moaning and twitching, and I was careful to bring her down gently with slow, languid laps of my tongue and soft, sucking kisses. I reached up and pulled her hands from my hair, untangling each finger and placing her hands at her sides. She lay on the blanket, her body trembling and her eyes shut, her body boneless with the pleasure I had given her. I knew I wouldn't be able to hold back much longer, not seeing her like that, the embodiment of every one of my fantasies. I had to be inside her. My hands shook as I reached down and pulled my belt from the loops, never taking my eyes from her, and undid the rest of the buttons on my jeans. I kicked them off, struggling to get them over my feet before flinging them away. I didn't care where they landed.

In mere seconds I was back between her thighs, easing over her and shutting my eyes at the exquisite sensation. I opened them quickly, feeling the ungodly temptation of the hot flesh between her legs slick along the length of my shaft. She lay underneath me, eyes closed and body limp, with a soft smile on her lips.

"Bella." Somehow I managed to speak. I brushed the clinging hair from her forehead and noticed my fingers were trembling. I kissed just above her left eyebrow, tasting the sweet saltiness of her skin. Holy fuck, I had to be inside her, but… "Bella, look at me."

She moaned and stirred.

"Bella." I was barely holding on, struggling with the urge to just bury myself in her. I had to make sure she was with me, that she understood what this meant to me. This was more—this was everything. This was showing her I could take care of her not only physically and sexually, but emotionally as well. This was showing her that I wanted to take care of her for the rest of our lives.

She looked up, and everything I wanted to see was right there in her eyes. Her lips parted and she moved against me, her eyes widening even further when she felt my erection pressed hard between her legs.

"I'm sorry," I told her. I could feel the desperate coil of tension in my body, between my legs. The primal urge to take her and be inside her body was rapidly overtaking my iron control. I knew she had to be sensitive after her orgasm, and the last thing I wanted to do was be too rough with her.

"I can't…are you ready?" I watched her face carefully for any sign she wasn't, that she didn't want me. "I won't…" I struggled to force my stupid dick away from her. This was about more than physical sensation—good or bad. This was about giving and accepting, about trust and commitment, and I wouldn't—_I wouldn't_—not if she wasn't with me, both physically and mentally. "I won't, unless you're ready."

"Yes." Her eyes were clear and certain on mine, and the jolt of relief that shot through me was staggering. She emphasized her assent with another thrust against me, and I was lost.

I positioned myself, twisting my hips until the head of my cock was slipping into her, into the scorching clasp of her body. I shut my eyes and moaned as I slid in, all the way, the wet friction a torturous glide against my aching, needy flesh. I gasped at the amazing feeling of her surrounding me. It was something I'd never experienced with another person in my life, something I'd never wanted or dared to experience with anyone else. I was inside her, just me, bare skin against bare skin. No condom.

"Oh, God," I breathed, resisting the sizzling urge to come right then. I fought it back with everything I had, as I was nowhere near ready to end it so soon. My body betrayed me, and I surged forward, the sensation an electric shock along every nerve ending. I bent my head, bearing down, shaking and shuddering like some kind of damned animal. I concentrated on holding still, on not exploding inside her, somehow managing to steady my rebellious body. I felt her hands stroking my back, calming me, and it allowed me to regain the last vestiges of my control.

"You feel so good inside after you come," I murmured in her ear once I was sure I could speak rationally and not just grunt and moan. "Soft." I risked a tentative push, and pleasure raced through me. "Wet. So warm. So right."

I loved making her come first. Not only was I assured of her pleasure, it usually made her sensitive enough to come again with just my cock and no other manual stimulation. I absolutely loved being able to do that. And it did make her feel so good inside, her tissues swollen, thick, her nerves raw, her body primed… I was riding the edge again. I concentrated on the burning sensation, the blinding emotion, the absolute devotion I felt for the girl writhing beneath me. God, I wanted her to feel it, too. I thrust harder, pinning her to the ground with my hips, grinding into her, needing to show her with my body how I felt, because physical was what I did best. I wanted her to feel as helpless as she made me feel, and then show her how powerful she really was.

Her breath started that little hitch again, and I watched her face, moving more forcefully, willing her to start the climb to another orgasm. Her body went still, but it wasn't quite the still of her pre-climax. She moved her hips and a little frown puckered the skin between her brows. I knew she had suddenly realized that I wasn't using a condom. Her eyes shot open to stare directly into mine, full of awareness, and—thankfully—acceptance.

"You didn't…" she panted and arched against me, gripping my arms. "You don't…ungh!"

I reacted by plunging mindlessly into her, kissing her, making my mouth gentle to counteract the force of my body surging into hers. "I know."

"But…" She arched again, gasping, before lowering her head to search my eyes. "Condom. You didn't—"

"I know." I let my tongue mimic my hips, stroking into her mouth. Her acknowledgement that there was no barrier between us made me even more aware of the sensation, and I began to thrust helplessly, no longer able to hold back. "Is that okay?" I managed to ask. What if it wasn't? Christ, what if she didn't want to—

"Oh, God," she whispered, awe and wonder on her face as she stared up at me, holding on, meeting me stroke for stroke. "Holy hell. You feel _amazing_."

"Bella." I bent my head next to hers, my body taking over. I pounded into her steadily, urgently. Oh, God, I had to hear it. I had to hear it fall from her lips, needed to know it was me she wanted. "Say it. For Christ's sake, say it."

"What?" she moaned, tossing her head back and forth on the blanket. She was tensing, her body preparing to lock down—preparing to come.

"Bella." I was helpless in my own rush toward orgasm, and I sank my teeth into her skin, wanting to mark her. Wanting to claim her. I needed to hear it.

"Edward," she said in that breathy, thin voice, tightening around me, her inner muscles vibrating with tension. _Oh fucking hell, yes…_

"Yes," I said out loud. "Again," I demanded. "Say it again."

"Edward!"

I felt her nails in my back as she arched against me in a frozen, fluid line. I held her body and jerked with violent, wracking shudders as she scored me again, and I came in wet, shocking bursts, pulsing inside her in a never-ending stream. It felt as if my entire body was being sucked down and out of me, into her, and it was exactly where I wanted to be.

I eventually became aware that my body was still attached to my brain, and that I was crushing my girl into the ground. Her fingertips ran lazily up and down the skin of my back, and the sensation both burned and tickled. I sighed, not wanting to move—ever—but I knew she couldn't bear my weight for long. I eased to one side, managing to pull her so she rested on my chest. She tucked her hand under her chin, and I opened my eyes to see her watching me with a smile on her face. I arched a brow, and she reached out to smooth it with her finger.

"I love you, Edward Cullen," she said, meeting my gaze steadily, and my heart leapt. Of course she got it. She'd felt what I'd wanted to tell her, to show her, that afternoon. I hoped it would be enough.

"Thank you," I said fervently. _Thank you for her. Thank you for this._

I held her close, fascinated as always by her love-warmed skin and the feel of her hair tickling across my chest with the breeze. It was growing cooler, especially here in the shade, and I could tell she was getting chilled. I didn't want to move. I didn't want to think of having to put clothes on, not have her curled against me, but I didn't want her to be uncomfortable in any way.

"You're getting cold." I brushed my lips across the top of her head, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath of her before I rolled to my knees.

"I don't want to move." She curled up into the warm depression my body had left.

I wrapped my fingers around her wrist and tugged. She reluctantly sat up, bending her knees and wrapping her arms around her legs. I glanced at her curiously as she jerked and made an uncomfortable sound. I wondered if she sat on something sharp and grimaced. That would suck.

"What?" I questioned. I saw our jeans tangled in a heap, but where the hell were my briefs?

"Nothing." I turned to look at her when I heard the tone of her voice and saw that her face was flushed in embarrassment. I paid closer attention, amusement rising in me.

"Bella, what?" What the hell had she sat on, and where? She'd hunched forward so that her hair covered her face.

She was quiet, still not meeting my eyes, and I looked over her body in concern. I'd been laughing to myself, and if she was really hurt… I saw that she was hugging her knees, squirming and tensing her thighs. I stared for a second, and then suddenly I understood her problem. _Oh_. Huh. Um…yeah. I forgot she'd never made love without a condom before and would be surprised at the resulting…mess. I brushed her cheek and offered her a soft smile in apology, reaching over to grab the backpack. There was a cloth in the inside pocket, and I opened the bottle of water lying next to the pack to pour it over the material, wetting and wringing it out so it was damp.

She was still red-faced and embarrassed when I turned back to her, and her eyes widened in startled comprehension when she saw the wet cloth. She held out her hand for it, but I evaded her neatly and eased her back to lie on the blanket. She struggled to sit back up, but I gave her a stern look and didn't relent.

"Edward," she hissed at me, going a brighter shade of red. Jesus, if I wasn't careful, I'd be hard again. "Don't. I can—"

"Shush," I told her, spreading her knees and gently wiping between her legs. "Let me take care of you. Hush, Bella."

The need to show her I could take care of her was strong and basic. She relaxed, lying back, and we just smiled at each other as I stroked and gently rubbed the cloth over her sensitive flesh. She made that soft, thrilling sound, and I had to lean over her and place a chaste kiss between her legs, right on the sweet, pink, intimate skin I had just oh-so-thoroughly cleaned.

"Thank you," she whispered, her face red once again.

Still smiling, I kissed her other lips before rewetting the cloth and wiping myself clean. I saw her underwear crumpled at the edge of the blanket and reached for them before turning back to her.

"Stand up." She looked at her panties in my hand and then back up at me, biting her lip but rising to her feet. She took a step closer, putting one small hand on my shoulder for support as I took her foot in my hand and lifted it carefully so as not to disrupt her tenuous balance. I pulled the panties up her leg after repeating the action with her other foot, sliding them over the firm muscle of her legs, her butt, and smoothed them into place on her hips. I helped her on with her jeans in the same manner, zipping them carefully and fastening the button.

I ran my fingertips over the soft skin of her belly, right above where the waistband rested. I didn't want to leave, and I didn't want reality to intrude. I hoped I'd given her no room to doubt how I felt about her or my commitment to her. We still had some discussions ahead of us about college and living arrangements, not to mention our senior year to get through, but I knew we had made a serious commitment to each other that afternoon, one that was deep, abiding, and unbreakable. I bent my head and placed it against her stomach, my arms wrapping around her waist and holding her for one last moment. Her arms came around my head and held me to her, and I knew I would spend the rest of my life with this woman.

After a while my knees started to ache, and I could feel her skin once again getting cool in the evening air. I sighed, hating to let her go but knowing we had to start back home. I stood up, finding my briefs where they had been hidden under her jeans and threw on the rest of my clothes so I could help her on with her T-shirt. I tugged it over her head, guiding her arms through the short sleeves, and pulled her long hair out from under the shirt before letting it sift through my hands in dark, silken waves. We packed everything back up in the bag, and I slung it over my shoulder, turning to her as she stepped back out into the clearing.

I came up behind her and pulled her back against my chest. She settled with a sigh, placing her hands over mine and leaning her head against my shoulder. I brushed my cheek against hers as looked out into the fading light filling the colorful meadow.

"I'll say yes, you know," she said softly, still looking straight ahead. My body jerked with a shock that was stronger and more meaningful than anything I'd ever felt in my life. I knew exactly what she was talking about, and my heart stuttered in my chest. "Eventually. But I'll say no until you ask me exactly right."

I blinked rapidly, fighting to keep my voice even. "Then I'll have to be sure to get it right the first time." I held her close. "Eventually, that is."

She sighed again, and I squeezed my eyes shut in disbelief. I never would have thought she would accept my half-assed proposal, not so easily, and definitely not so soon. I figured she'd have to worry and work her way through all the problems and obstacles before she saw that this was what we both wanted. I had thought I would have to spend the next few years convincing her, negotiating endlessly, constantly compromising, begging, and wheedling. But I should have realized that Bella never did what I expected her to do. And I loved it.

I held her hand as we followed the narrow path back to the car, realizing in that one simple, everyday gesture I held everything that was important to me. As we approached the seldom-used road, I glanced at her, noticing she was worrying her lip between her teeth. I shook my head and mentally sighed. Ah, not so easy after all.

"Bella." I stopped, turning to face her. She looked up at me, her eyes wide, deep, and definitely worried. I'd known it would freak her out talking about school and marriage. I thought it was ridiculous that she was trying to hide how very concerned she was about going to college and wondering where I would end up, how we would manage to be together. It was even more ridiculous that she thought she could hide something like that from me. "I thought the afterglow would last a little longer."

"Afterglow?" she repeated, her features confused.

I grinned and shrugged. "Yeah. I thought I'd made love to you thoroughly enough that worrying would be the last thing on your mind. I don't know how much more I've got, but I'm willing to give it a shot."

I sighed, pretending to be put upon, lowering my head toward her mouth and placing my hand suggestively on her breast. She jumped back and scowled, just as I had intended.

"If you've got anything more than what you just gave me, it'll probably kill me," she admitted.

I couldn't help it. I laughed, placing a kiss on her forehead. "Bella, I didn't tell you those things to make you worry. The last thing I wanted to do is upset you."

"I know," she assured me, but she was biting her lip again. "It's just that… I don't know, Edward. How do you know?"

"How do I know what?" I had to make her say it.

"How do you know…how can you be sure… How can you always be so sure of yourself?"

I cupped her precious face in my hands and kissed her gently. "I know what I want, Bella."

"But how?" She frowned adorably. "I mean, college. What if we get there, and you start playing and traveling, getting all famous and big man on campus, and you decide you don't want this after all?"

The first frisson of annoyance crept through me. "You know me better than that, Bella. Do you really think that's me? That I care about being popular, being a superstar? That any of that matters to me at all?"

She scowled. "No. No I don't think that of you."

"You, Bella. You're what matters to me. That's what I wanted to show you today. Don't you trust me?" I felt as if my entire future balanced precariously on her answer.

"Of course I do. I trust you, Edward." Her instant and unthinking answer went a long way toward restoring my confidence. "It's just that…well, there will be a lot of girls. College girls, and…we're young. You might change your mind."

I barely controlled the urge to roll my eyes. As if I gave a flying fuck about other girls. But my girl was feeling insecure, and although that hadn't happened in a long time, it was still unacceptable. I started to say I'd already had a college girl and it was nothing compared to what she meant to me, but my instinct for self-preservation kicked in at the last minute. No, now was not a good time to bring that up—there would never be a good time to bring that up, as a matter of fact.

"I'll let you in on a little secret about the Cullen men," I said, taking both of her hands in mine. "Our family is cursed." She raised a brow skeptically at me, but I tipped my head at her in warning to let me finish. "We fall in love, we fall in love young, but it sticks for a lifetime. And we know when it happens. We know when we've met our match, our partner, our lover for life.

"Take Emmett. He met Rose when he was eleven. He took one look at her the day we met the Hales, and that was it. He grabbed her hand and announced to everyone that Rose was his girlfriend. She hasn't been able to shake him since." We both grinned. "My dad was a late bloomer for the Cullen men. He met mom the first day of classes as a freshman in college, when he was eighteen. She was lost, and he walked her to class. He says he's never left her side since. His dad, my Grandpa C, he met grandma when he was eight. And his dad—"

"I get it," she said, lifting her hand from mine to place it over my lips. I kissed her palm, and she shivered. "What about you?"

"Me?" I smiled slowly. "I ran into this beautiful, dark haired girl when I was sixteen, in the hallway at school. I was a lumbering idiot and knocked her books out of her arms. I helped her pick up her stuff, and when she looked up at me, I was a goner."

Her eyes searched mine in the evening light. "Me?" She frowned, slowly shaking her head. "I don't remember running into you at school."

"I do," I assured her. "I remember it as clear as day. I knew. I knew right then. I felt it. Felt it here," I put my fist over my heart. "And here." I touched my forehead. "And here." I grinned as I cupped my hand between my legs.

A lovely, pleased smile spread across her features. "Really?"

"Absolutely. And then when I picked you up for our first date, l fell in love with you the second you opened the door. You looked so nervous and beautiful and so happy to see me. My heart—it's been yours ever since that exact moment." She stepped forward, placing her head on my chest, directly over my heart. I held her, pressing my lips in her hair, shutting my eyes and thanking God for her. "I don't care about other girls, Bella. I don't care about the rink rats, the people who are out for a cheap thrill. I never have. I've only ever really cared about you."

"I know, Edward. Do you think I can't take care of any hooch who comes sniffing around you?" She arched a brow at me, and I smiled, remembering how neatly she'd taken care of other girls in the past. No, she wouldn't have any problem with that. "I know, because I feel the same. I love you, more than anything. I really do. But I just started thinking about the realities. I started thinking about you playing in college, in the NHL and all that it involves…"

My body froze as a terrible thought suddenly occurred to me. I'd never given any consideration to the idea she might not want me, and everything that went with me. Being married to a professional athlete wasn't all fun and games like it seemed. There was the constant moving, being apart, traveling, media attention, puck bunnies, tabloids, lies, truths, long, long hours, obsessive tendencies, crudeness, and all the nameless other bullshit. I didn't know if that was what she wanted for her life. I didn't know if she wanted to have to deal with all the fuckery that came with a professional hockey player at any level. It was all I knew, all I ever wanted. It was who I was. But Bella…when I was with Bella, I was the person I wanted to be.

"I know it's a lot to ask of you, Bella, to have to put up with the crap that comes with an athlete, but I swear we'll make it work. I'll do whatever I can to make it easier for you, to make sure you're happy." She shook her head, and I panicked. "I swear we'll work something out. I can't lose you. I won't. Nothing's worth—"

She put her hand over my mouth again. "Edward. It's not that at all. I love you, and I plan on keeping you, no matter what. I can handle you playing hockey—or not—whatever you decide to do. I love you—_you—_and I don't care what you do, as long as I'm with you. It's just…" she grimaced, and I couldn't imagine what she would consider worse than having to deal with the itinerant life of a professional hockey player. "It's just that I don't have any idea how the hell I'll be able to afford tuition at Dartmouth. I just don't see how that's possible."

That's it? _That's_ what she was so worried about? I laughed in relief, grabbing her up against my chest and off her feet, swinging her around in a circle.

"Bella, you trust me, right?" She nodded, gripping my shoulders and smiling down at me. "Then trust me when I say we'll figure that shit out together. I'll help you find a grant or scholarship or something. It will work out, believe me."

It wasn't time to tell her about the Pacific Northwest Trust and their program that awarded generous scholarships to deserving students, not yet, but I would. I knew they would consider her very deserving, seeing as how my family ran PNT. I'd see to it myself, even if I had to fund it with the money from my own trust fund. She'd be going to Dartmouth with me, one way or another, of that I was absolutely certain.

"Okay. We'll figure it out together." She kissed me, her hands gripping my hair. I absorbed the feel of her, her taste, her body against mine. I was determined I'd never be without it. And when I wanted something, I worked very, very hard until I got it. I knew she'd lead me on quite a chase, but I had confidence I'd get what I wanted in the end—Bella, mine, always. My girl, my partner, my lover. My wife. My family might have called it the Cullen Curse, but we all knew it was really a gift.

As I set her on her feet, the backpack slipped off my shoulder. I juggled her and the pack, making sure she was steady on her feet before I saved the bag from impact. She raised her brow quizzically as I swung it around in front of me, reaching for what I had tucked in the side strap. I carefully removed the delicate bundle and held it out to her. She stared at the slightly wilted flowers in my hand as if she'd never seen plants before, and I got a little nervous.

"I picked them before we left the meadow," I explained anxiously. "I thought maybe you'd like something to remember it by. Girls like flowers, right?"

She just continued to stare, and I started to pull them away. "Yeah, it was a stupid idea. Sorry."

She grabbed them out of my hand and turned her face up to mine. Tears filled her eyes, making them huge and luminous and…crying. Holy motherfucking shit, she was crying. My mouth opened to stutter an apology, beg forgiveness for whatever the hell it was I'd done to make her _cry_, for Chrissake.

"Bella, please don't cry. Please. I'm sorry, I'm really—"

She jumped at me, wrapping her arms around my neck. Her head banged my chin, and I saw stars for a second, but she was in my arms, babbling and crying, clutching the flowers in her fist.

"I love you, Edward, love you so much, they're perfect, you're perfect, I love you, love you, love you…"

Fucking hell, she was _happy_. My knees almost gave out in relief. I held her as she buried her face in my neck and cried and stammered, shaking my head. I'd ripped the heart out of my chest, wrestled my soul from the depths of my being and handed them to her. I'd made love to her until neither of us could move, until we were wrung out, limp, weak, and completely satiated. I'd told her I wanted to live with her until we graduated. I'd told her of my intentions to marry her, to keep her with me always, to make sure we both got in to Dartmouth and had the means to pay for it. And she'd handled all of it pretty darn well. I gave her flowers, and she fell apart. Leaping, creeping Jesus, I loved this girl.

I held her until she calmed down and then set her back down on her feet. She wiped at her eyes, still staring at the slightly bedraggled flowers. I could see her lower lip trembling, and thought she might start crying again. "Bella…"

"No, I'm okay." She shook her head and looked up at me with a watery smile before her eyes drifted back to the flowers in her hand. "It's just…it's so _sweet_, Edward. Thank you. No one's ever done anything like this for me before. This whole afternoon, being with you… I love you."

Sweet was good, right? I thought sweet was good. I didn't think it was like when girls said things were "fine" when they obviously weren't. She was smiling, and she did look really happy, so sweet must have been a good thing. I put my arms around her shoulders and tucked her against my side as we walked back to the car. I couldn't recall ever being happier. I had recruiters from the college of my choice and NHL scouts pursuing me. My girl loved me and wanted a future with me. Everything was falling into place.

My life was about to change. I could feel it.


	31. Chapter 31: Tilly

**SM, not me.**

**My love and appreciation to SunKing and Sarahsumbrella.**

**NOTE: Violence and possible tissue/hanky warning. If you're sensitive to those sorts of things, please PM me and I'll give you a synopsis.**

**Some issues withe review replies from a few days ago - my apologies if I missed some!**

**FAQ: This is a total of 34 chapters long plus a nice lengthy future-shot that I'll include at the end in case you're interested. (And yes, it's shorter in chaps than MM, but quite a bit longer in words. He's a chatty one, our Iceward).**

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**CHAPTER 31: Tilly**

I concentrated on driving as I followed the road back to Forks. I was completely relaxed and sated, and Bella's hand felt so warm and perfect in mine that I didn't want to move it to even turn on the stereo. I was hoping we could just go back to her house and lay around on the sofa together until her dad got home. I wasn't ready to let her go, and I just wanted to hold my girl.

I saw a car pulled over on the side of the road when we were still quite a distance away. I instantly felt bad, thinking how it would suck to get stuck on the stretch of mostly deserted highway that late in the day on a Sunday. There wasn't much traffic, and cell phone reception was sketchy at best. My foot automatically lifted off the gas pedal, and the Volvo started to slow. It was hard to see clearly in the fading light, but as we got closer, I could see a woman standing by the open hood of the other car. She appeared to be all by herself, and I knew I'd have to stop to help if I could.

"Looks like she has trouble," Bella murmured with a sidelong glance at me. I felt the loss when she let go of my hand to lean forward for a better look.

"Yeah," I said as I pulled over to the side of the road a short distance behind the vehicle.

"Should I call someone?" she asked. I glanced over and saw that she had her cell phone on her lap. Her finger tapped the display absently as she watched the redheaded woman look up at us from the front of her car.

"I'm not sure you can get a signal out here. Let me see what's going on first." I mentally catalogued what I had in my trunk that might be useful. I didn't think hockey equipment would come in handy in a mechanical emergency, but I had a basic tool kit and some water left over from our meal.

"Okay." Bella was frowning as she leaned forward again to get a better look out the front window. "Someone else stopped."

I glanced up sharply to see where she was pointing, and sure enough, there was another car parked a short distance away in front of the broken down vehicle. It was off the road and almost in the ditch. That was weird. Were both cars broken down? I didn't see another person and idly wondered if we'd hit one of those strange Twilight Zone spots, where mechanical failures just happened. The Volvo was running just fine, I noted, as I hit the button to unlock the trunk before turning off the engine. My toolbox was buried under all the crap in the trunk, but I could get to it if I needed to.

"Yeah." I scanned the area again as I unbuckled my seatbelt. It was unusual, and unusual on a mostly deserted highway when dusk was rapidly fading into night was not a good thing. But this was Forks. We were only a few miles from home, and the woman obviously needed help.

"Stay here, okay?" I told Bella. She turned to me with wide eyes, and I rushed to reassure her. "It's probably nothing, but stay put just the same."

I got out of the car and approached the woman slowly, not wanting to scare her. I stopped when I got to the rear fender of the car and called out to her. "Hey, it looks like maybe you can use some help?"

She ducked her head around the front of the car, and she looked really nervous. I tried to make myself as non-threatening as possible, smiling and keeping my distance, but I could see her shifting nervously and wringing her hands. She glanced around quickly, but then I saw her shoulders rise with a deep breath and she managed an uncertain smile in return. She didn't say anything, but she gestured toward the engine compartment with a shrug. I studied her face for a minute. She seemed familiar to me, but I couldn't quite place where I might have seen her before. I knew she didn't go to school with us; there'd be no forgetting that long, curly red hair. I thought maybe she was a little older than I was, too.

"I don't know too much about cars, but I can take a look if you want," I told her, keeping my voice low. She looked really spooked. "Or I can see if there's any cell signal, if you want to call your insurance company or a tow."

"I…" She glanced around again, looking up at me quickly and then away. "I… Uh…"

"Thank you, Vicky. You can go."

I started in surprise when I heard the quiet male voice. It, too, was familiar, and the hairs rose on the back of my neck. I hadn't seen anyone else, but I took a quick couple of steps to the side and saw James Lucard walking toward us. My position behind the car had blocked my view of him coming from the front.

Oh _fuck_.

He stopped next to the woman and waited while she slammed the hood down on the car and scurried to the driver's side, getting in the vehicle and starting the engine right away. Dread ran through me as I realized there had been nothing wrong with the car after all. It had been a ruse to get me to stop, to get me by myself out in the middle of nowhere. I couldn't begin to fathom why, but I knew this was not going to end well. James had put too much effort into getting me alone.

But I wasn't alone.

_Bella._

Bella was in the car behind me. Thank Christ she hadn't gotten out of the Volvo to follow. I desperately willed her to stay put and hoped like hell Lucard didn't realize she was with me.

"Cullen." He grinned in satisfaction. "I've been waiting a long time for this."

My attention sharpened as I realized he had something in his hand. I couldn't quite make out what it was in the rapidly fading light. He took a couple of deliberate steps closer, and my eyes shot back up to his as my body tensed, preparing to protect and defend.

"What the fuck is going on, Lucard?" I asked. This whole thing—the set-up, his waiting for me on the roadside, involving some woman in whatever scheme his crazy-ass mind had dreamt up—was fucked.

"I never liked you, Cullen," he said conversationally, his eyes watchful on mine, drinking in every expression, every flicker of emotion. I tamped down on my confusion and worry, willing my face to remain cold and impassive. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction, and I wouldn't give him any clues. "Even before our unfortunate run-in with that little bitch freshman year. Always the hero, aren't you? The Golden Boy. Everyone loves Cullen. All the coaches, the players, the parents, all the girls—everyone. Fuck." He spat in the dirt at his feet.

"Jealous much?" I knew I shouldn't taunt him, not with Bella nearby, but…really? I'd always wondered why he had seemed to fixate on me rather than the other guys that had been there that day in Port Angeles, even though it didn't really matter. I was probably best able to deal with his crazy bullshit out of the bunch, but I'd always kind of figured it was because I'd always come out on top of any interaction we ever had, on the ice or off. It didn't give me any satisfaction to know I was right. I just wanted to get Bella out of there.

He took a quick step forward, and his eyes flared at my taunt, but he managed to control himself. Neat trick—I'd used it myself on a number of occasions. Whatever he was holding in his hand didn't look like a gun or knife, so I concentrated on his eyes, watching closely and waiting for any sort of clue as to what he would do next. I took a slow, and what I hoped was casual, step back, wanting to take advantage of any opportunity I had to get back to the car without drawing too much attention to it and who was inside.

"Oh, I know she's with you," he said. "She looks good in blue, doesn't she? Wears it an awful lot. Do you like her in blue, Cullen? Does she wear it to please you? Maybe we should get her out here to join our little party.

"How the hell did you know—" I cut the question off mid-sentence, mentally kicking myself for giving him any confirmation or reaction.

He smiled in satisfaction, and I bit off another curse. "Oh, I've been watching you for a while, just waiting for the right opportunity. I saw you heading toward Port Angeles earlier today and gave Vicky a call. She didn't want to lend me her able assistance, but I can be quite…persuasive. After that, all I had to do was sit here and wait."

Watching me? What the fuck? He'd been watching me? My blood ran cold and then heated with fury at the thought he may have been watching us that afternoon, in the meadow…but no. There was no way he could have followed without me knowing he was there. Maybe to the point where we parked, but no one could have followed us through the woods without being heard. I knew that, but the heat of anger burned through the cold of my shock at the thought that he'd been watching us at all—that he'd been watching Bella. I had exposed her to danger, despite my intentions and my best efforts. Even the slightest possibility that he could have seen her, seen us, in such a vulnerable, intimate, personal situation like the meadow that afternoon freaked me the fuck out. How could I have taken such a risk with her safety? Out in the middle of nowhere, alone, no one knowing where we were…

If he had followed us and confronted us there… What the hell had I been thinking? But, no. I wouldn't—I couldn't—ever regret what had happened between Bella and me in the meadow. It was the best and most meaningful experience of my life, and nothing could ever make me regret it, especially not an insignificant, worthless coward. The time Bella and I had spent together that afternoon was something no one could take away from us. The connection, the commitment, the sheer pleasure and joy of being together, what we shared… I wouldn't let James Lucard ruin the best hours of my entire life.

"I saw you at her house this afternoon. I guess I got lucky today. Driving past is part of my regular routine, but imagine my surprise when I saw you molesting the girl on her own front porch." His eyes gleamed when he saw my fists clench at my side. Not only had he observed us without our knowledge when we'd been at her house that day, but he made a habit of driving by, looking for her. It only confirmed the fact that he was bugfuck crazy. Who in their right mind stalked people like that, let alone the house of the Chief of Police?

As if he read my mind, he asked, "Does her father know you groped and tongue-fucked the girl in his front yard?"

"Leave Bella out of this," I growled, barely holding on to my fury. I hoped like hell she'd realized the gravity of the situation and gotten behind the wheel of the car. My ears strained to hear the sound of the engine of the Volvo—I knew I'd never be happier to hear the low, quiet rumble. _Come on, Bella. Come on, baby._

"Leave her out of it?" His brows rose mockingly. "Now why in the world would I want to do that?"

"Do you really think I'll let you get anywhere near her?" I asked, my voice low and soft. There was no way in hell.

An unnerving smirk curled his lip. His eyes were cold, direct, and utterly serious as they held mine. "Do you really think I'm going to leave you in any condition to stop me?"

My blood ran cold as he brought his hand up from his side, and I got a good look at what he held. He slapped a length of heavy black pipe into his opposite palm, and my mind went blank with surprise for a few seconds—a few very critical seconds.

_What the hell is he doing with a pipe out here? A plumbing emergency in the middle of nowhere?_ were my first stupid, naïve thoughts. My body had already recognized the threat, well before my mind caught up. I was twisting away even as he swung the pipe and I thought: _Oh, yeah. That's why he has the pipe, you fucking moron._

My momentary incomprehension had cost me—had cost us both. _Bella_ was my next thought as the heavy metal connected with my ribs and blinding pain engulfed my entire body. I dimly thought I'd never felt anything as terrible as that radiating agony, and then... I did. My body had instinctively bent—albeit too late—to protect itself from the vicious hit, but in doing so had left the rest of me vulnerable. The pipe connected with the back of my head that I had unwittingly left exposed, and the pain was huge, engulfing, and devastating in its totality before everything went black.

_Bella._

**-0-**

The only thing I was aware of was pain. It was excruciating. It flared through my head in radiating waves, flashing, blinding, and indescribable. I felt a faint sensation of movement, a jostling that only made the stabbing shocks worse. I felt nauseous with the sheer, insurmountable hurt. My entire body was a blaze of agony. I couldn't make my brain focus on a coherent thought other than _make it stop_. The pain was so immense, I knew I couldn't bear it for much longer without shattering into tiny pieces. I couldn't concentrate on why, only _please_ _no more_. Something was terribly, terribly wrong, but…_oh, God, make it stop_.

There was another wrenching movement, blasting fire from my hair to my toes, and I became aware of the pressure of someone's arms tugging my shoulders, making the flare of agony wash over me over and over again. Even in my anguish, I knew those arms. I knew, and fear sliced through the torment fogging my brain.

"Bella," I gasped, and the effort made everything swirl in sickening loops behind my closed lids. _Oh, God._

I could hear her panting in my ear, and strange, disjointed images flashed across my consciousness. I thought I was going crazy. Images of Bella lying underneath me, on a blanket, sunshine and shade washing over her perfect skin, panting and moaning in my ear… Those were fantastic thoughts, amazing images. So why did I hurt so badly? Bella coming apart, me buried deep inside her, secure and triumphant and shocked and grateful and amazed all at once…and then fear. It made no sense, but suddenly I was flooded with an urge so strong it couldn't be denied, an impulse so compelling it cut through the agony that consumed me for one brief second. Bella was in danger. Bella could be hurt. I had to protect her. The instinct was encompassing and primitive, and I struggled frantically to surface from whatever strange nightmare that had overwhelmed me. My girl was in trouble.

"Bella?"

My body wouldn't respond. The command was there, the expectation of unconscious obedience to my will, but I couldn't make any part of me obey. I panicked, suddenly and completely. My body always did what I wanted. It always responded to every demand, every abuse, every effort I asked of it. I hurt more than I ever had in my life, but I was used to pain. I was used to working with it, working through it, mastering it and bending it to my will. Pain and I were old friends, and we understood each other. But I was betrayed in that moment when I most needed that mastery. Pain owned me, body and soul.

I felt pressure on my face, on my cheek, and realized it was her fingers. Instead of the usual pleasant tingle her touch evoked, a sharp bite spread from below my eye to wrap around my head. I moaned and tried to get away from it, only dimly realizing that it also meant I was getting away from her, but the response to the incredible throb was instinctive and involuntary. It was a mistake on many levels, as it tore through my body and I retched, vomiting, which caused the agony in my head and chest to go nuclear. I bore down and breathed through it, clenching my teeth against another wave of nausea, and became aware of the sound of Bella's muffled sobs close to my ear. I knew that she was crying because of me, and I wanted to ask her what had happened, what was wrong, why did I hurt so fucking much, but then I remembered. Everything that had just happened came back to me in a horrifying rush along with the urge to vomit again. James… _Bella_.

"James?" I couldn't force out any more than that, couldn't make the thought completely form in my head or my mouth to utter the words. My head pounded, pounded, a sharp, blazing spike being driven through my skull and scrambling my brain. An echoing fire scorched my chest, my lungs, and every heartbeat felt heavy, forced, and hurt so terribly much. I knew she had to get out of there, before whatever he'd done to me he did to her, too. I couldn't bear to think of her hurting—not ever, and not that much. It would literally kill me to think of her suffering that kind of torture.

"Go, Bella," I croaked, struggling to make my body obey. I just had to get her out of there, and then I could fall apart, but every word was a hideous effort. "Get…the car…and go…now."

"Shh, shh, Not without you. I called Charlie. He's on his way. He's coming."

Charlie. Thank God. Her dad—the police. He could keep her safe. But until then, she only had me.

"Where's…James?" I tried again to get up, to move, to look around, get some bearing on my surroundings, but…_fuck_! I managed to get my arms underneath me, but I had no control over them, no strength, and I collapsed, knocking my chin on the ground. I saw stars…hell, I saw the whole fucking universe as it punished me for even trying to move. I wanted to scream with the pain engulfing me, but I couldn't. Not yet. Not until Bella was safe.

"I hit him on the head with your hockey stick!"

She hit him with my hockey stick? My fucking _what_? She hit him with my…hockey stick. From the trunk. Bella. Hit James. With my hockey stick. She must have knocked him right the fuck out cold. If someone would take the red-hot poker out of my side and the spike out of my head, I'd laugh my ass off. She was something, my girl.

"That's…my girl." The words cost me, but they were worth the price when I heard her snuffling chuckle.

"Can you get up?"

"No. Head hurts." I tried to shift, to prove myself wrong, but something ground inside my chest. I almost bit my tongue off in an effort not to shriek with the sudden, blinding shock.

_Oh, God, oh Holy Fuck…_Broken ribs for sure, and if I wasn't mistaken, there went my lung. "Can't…breathe. Bad."

I vomited again as the agony increased instead of lessening, and the retching only made it ten times worse. I couldn't bear it much longer. I started to panic as I realized I was either going to pass out or maybe even die unless someone got there soon. I couldn't let either of those possibilities happen. I couldn't leave Bella.

"Edward, we've got to get out of here right now and get you to the hospital. Oh God, oh shit, where's Charlie?"

She screamed, and it was the most terrifying sound I'd ever heard in my life. It filled me, pushing even the unholy pain aside, until it was all I knew, all I could think about. That sound could only mean one thing—James.

"Bella, run!" I shouted, the fear for her safety overwhelming and the only thing that mattered. I managed to lift my head and saw her crouching next to me, facing a staggering, weaving form that was moving toward us—a form that could only be James Lucard. What the fuck was she doing? She had to run. She had to get out of there.

"Get the car!" I told her, wanting her gone and far, far out of his reach. I might not be able to get up, but she could, and that was all that mattered. I saw her glance at the vehicle, but she'd run out of time. James was almost upon us. "Bella, get the car!"

_You do not fucking fail me now,_ I commanded my body. I gathered every scrap of strength, of will, of fight left in me, and somehow managed to rise to my knees and then to my feet, hunched over, but balanced on my toes. James came another step closer. I only needed him to take one more and then…_there!_

I pushed with my legs, which were strong, conditioned, and rock solid underneath me. I'd spent my whole life making sure my body was primed, my conditioning was top-notch, and it paid off in that one awful second. I launched myself at James, giving Bella the chance to run, to get to the car and safety. It took him by surprise, and gave her the precious time she needed to get away. I saw her turn and run just before I caught the movement of his arm, and saw the pipe heading for my face at the last second. I managed to duck my head, but it caught me just above the spot where he had hit me before, and everything went wonky.

I fell to the ground, and I could see James's boots as he stepped over me. I couldn't move. I could see Bella running toward the Volvo, her silhouette in the headlights, and James moving toward her. I could see all of it, but I couldn't move. I was frozen. I wasn't breathing. I wasn't in pain. My vision started to fade and go grey, shrink and cone down to spotlight the sudden movement of James's arm, of Bella falling…_no_…falling short of the car. James moved purposefully toward her, and I started screaming _no, no, no_ in my mind, but everything was fading. He bent over her, and complete and utter terror broke through whatever it was that had a grip on my body and mind. Air whooshed back into my lungs, pain wracked through my body, but I could move. I could move, and determinedly held the crippling agony at bay. I got my knees underneath me once again and braced my hands on the rough asphalt, pausing for a brief second to gather myself for one last push. My hand hit something, and I focused on the broken shaft of a hockey stick. _My girl's sword_, I thought drunkenly and grabbed it, ignoring the searing, blinding agony invading every part of my body as I hauled myself to my feet.

James was in front of me, and he dared to lay a hand on Bella. He had her by the ankle, dragging her through the dirt, away from the Volvo and toward his car. The dirt, for fuck's sake. I waited for him to come closer as he backed toward me, until he was just close enough. I took that step forward, knowing that somehow, some way, I'd been given this one opportunity to save my girl. I would not fuck it up. I used my weight and the force of my entire body to bring the broken length of the stick down on his fucking head and felt the reverberations sing up my arms as it connected. He squealed like a pig and spun, but he was falling, and he collapsed down next to Bella. I swayed, and knew I was fading fast. I only had that one chance, and I was going to make sure he never hurt Bella—or anyone else—ever again. I gripped the jagged, broken shaft of the stick on both of my fists and lifted it over one shoulder. I was going to plunge it into his black, horrific heart.

I could feel the pain in my head, my chest, my stomach, in my entire fucking body. It pounded away in the background, waiting for its chance to take over. I held it off as I twisted around, giving myself extra impetus to force that stake through his heart and pin him into the ground so he would never get up again. I brought the stick down with the last of my strength and caught just the barest glimpse of Bella lying still and limp in the dirt in the periphery of my vision. It shook me, just the slightest bit, and the shaft of the stick speared through James's shoulder, fractions of an inch above his heart. I fell on it, onto my hands, and felt it bite and sink, catch and then slide, until it wouldn't advance any farther. I gasped and sobbed, leaning on the stick for support, falling to my knees and then toppling over into the dirt on the side of the road. My face was smashed into the gravel, but I could just make out Bella's sweet, beautiful features as everything went foggy and faded to black.


	32. Chapter 32: Delay Of Game

**SM, not me.**

**Thanks to SunKing and Sarahsumbrella for beta-ing.**

**If you enjoy one-shots just full of fun reading (and we can all use a little fun during these chaps, right?), try this one a friend of mine wrote when I expressed my disbelief there weren't any good ones written like it. Tattered by FemmeFoulon.**

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**CHAPTER 32: Delay Of Game**

I was having the strangest dream.

I was walking through the woods. I didn't know why I was in the woods, but I was looking for something. I was looking for Bella. The trail was narrow and overgrown, thick with brush and leaves. I pushed my way through, seeing sunlight ahead of me, and there she was. Bella.

She was sitting in the grass on the edge of the meadow. As I emerged through the trees, she looked up with a soft, beautiful smile, her eyes lighting, her face glowing. She tilted her head, gesturing me closer, and I came gladly. I sank down next to her, but she scooted away, maintaining a small distance between us. I reached out to touch her, but she moved back, still with that smile curving her lips. She shook her head slowly, and I frowned, feeling the first edge of anxiety curl through me. Bella never leaned away from my touch. I tried again, but somehow those same few inches stayed between us. I tried to say her name, to ask her what was going on, but I couldn't form the words. _Please_, I thought. I didn't know why it was so important to touch her, to hold her, but it was. The need was growing stronger. I tried to kiss her, to bring my face close to hers, but that maddening distance never lessened.

I started to panic. Something was keeping us apart—keeping me from her. I struggled against the invisible bonds, but only felt a tightening, a pressure, something actively keeping me from my girl. The harder I fought, the farther we were pulled apart, until I was shouting and writhing, trying to get to her. She needed me. I couldn't leave her alone in the woods. The expression on her face was sad and scared, and as she started to fade, I saw her jump in surprise and spin around, looking behind her. She started backing away from whatever she saw, holding her hand up to ward it away and shaking her head so hard her hair swirled around her shoulders. She began running, screaming in fear, and I saw something big and vicious chasing her. It wanted to hurt her, and she was so scared. It felt like I would go insane with the fear and rage filling me.

Bella disappeared in a sickening whirl of sound and colors. Fucking hell, my head hurt. I stumbled, trying to get my bearings, but everything was dark and dizzying. I had to find Bella. I had to fight whatever it was that threatened her and wanted to keep us apart. I was frantic with dread and worry, but… Holy fucking Christ, what happened to my ribs? The pain was tearing, immense. I gasped, holding back a scream, and blissful blackness overtook my consciousness.

It was so dark. And loud. Too fucking loud. I tried to bring my hands to my ears, but I couldn't move, and my head felt like it was going to explode. Why were the lights so bright and why were they spinning? Too much noise, too much light. _Ow, ow, ow_. Too much pain. What the hell had happened? Had there been a game that night? Had I gotten hit? I'd had a concussion before, and this felt similar, but much worse. So much worse. Had I taken a hit? I didn't remember suiting up. Did I go out on the ice without my pads? My helmet? _Ow, ow, ow_. I hurt. So much noise. And then—_yesssss_. Blackness.

Who was yelling? It sounded like my dad, but I didn't think he was yelling at me. I struggled to sit up, to respond, but I still couldn't move. There was bright white swirling nothingness, and…fucking hell. Pain. Ungodly, sweeping, overwhelming. Maybe I was the one yelling. It hurt so goddamn much.

Bella. It wasn't Bella yelling, but something wasn't right. I had to find her. There was something wrong—something terribly wrong—but it danced at the edge of my consciousness. I wanted to shy away. I didn't want to remember, but it was important for Bella's safety. I fought against the pain, the throbbing in my head, the stabbing, searing ache in my chest. Bella. Bella. Bella. How could I help her if I couldn't fucking see? Hell, I couldn't fucking breathe. What had happened? Where was she? Bella…

The blinding white faded to black.

Ah. There she was—thank God. Everything was fine. She was with me, and we were in the meadow in the shade, lying on a blanket. She was under me. I was inside her? Everything was more than okay. I didn't remember how we got there, but I didn't want to question it. She felt amazing as she always did, responding to my slightest touch, and I was totally immersed in her. We were floating in the air as I moved inside her, stroking, sliding—_ah, yes_—the friction exquisite, her eyes the center of my universe. We were…floating? I knew we were good together, but this was the first time we'd defied gravity. Her face was clear in the center of my vision, but everything else around us was soft, fuzzy, and indistinct. Suddenly I realized why—I was dreaming. I reached out and touched her face. Her eyes drifted closed as she turned her head and kissed my fingers. This must be one hell of a dream, because I felt my heart pound, beat, throb in my chest…

My chest. Fire and agony. In the way of dreams, I was plunged from the most beautiful experience into the most terrible. I was being tortured. Pokers glowing red hot stuck out of my chest, blood dripped steadily on my feet, and the club that had split my head open lay at my feet. I was tied, bound, and gagged. I couldn't move. I couldn't scream. I couldn't bear it. I craved the blackness and welcomed it with open arms when it came to envelop me.

I dreamed, mostly of Bella. I dreamed of having a picnic in the meadow. We were talking and making love, touching and caressing, loving each other with our whole hearts. But sometimes it wasn't wonderful. Sometimes something was chasing her, and she was scared. I couldn't get to her in those dreams. I could only watch while she cried, pleaded, and ran for her life. It was my worst nightmare. I couldn't protect her. I couldn't save her. Sometimes in those dreams whatever it was caught me instead, and that was okay. Better me than Bella, especially when the torture began. Knives stabbed through my chest. An axe was buried in my head. Fire consumed me.

Bella. Was she okay? Yes. She was incredible, fantastic. She held my heart in her hands, turning it around to show it to me. She opened her shirt and placed it inside her chest, next to her own. I was inside her, surrounded by her, loved by her. We were in the meadow, making love.

Weren't we?

I was having the strangest dream.


	33. Chapter 33: Ringing The Pipe

**SM's Twilight, not mine.**

**SunKing and Sarahsumbrella - thanks for being your usual amazing selves.**

**CM was nominated as a fic of the week over at The Lemonade Stand. Thank you - and go take a look at the list for the week to vote for your faves if you're so inclined. www . tehlemonadestand . blogspot . com/?zx = 5578713e0b79b4e7**

**Thank you guys for bearing with me and taking the time to read and review!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 33: Ringing The Pipe**

I was in the white place again, and Bella was there, which was strange. Good, but strange. I'd dreamed about this white place before. Bella was always with me when I dreamed of the meadow and that scary dark place with all the trees, but this was the first time I'd seen her in the white place. I wasn't sure where I was, and I thought that should bother me, but I couldn't seem to gather up the energy or willpower to care. I thought that should bother me, too. Maybe I was sick. I didn't remember it coming on—I was rarely ever sick, even with a cold, so those times were pretty memorable. I wasn't at home, either. It was too bright, too loud, and too uncomfortable. It was just the white place I vaguely recalled from past dreams.

I turned my head toward where I sensed Bella, and holy _fuck_ that hurt. I froze, trying to frown, but my head felt like it was stuffed with needle-sharp spikes, heavy and awkward. And painful. No way I could forget painful, not with it throbbing and snarling and gnashing at me. It didn't feel like my head. I forced my eyes open, wondering why I had to struggle so hard and why they felt like they were filled with broken glass. It hurt, actually _hurt,_ to open my eyelids, for fuck's sake. What was wrong with me? Was I dreaming again, or was I really sick? I had no idea. I couldn't remember…anything.

I blinked, and even that small movement took all my concentration and was exhausting. I could see Bella, so that was reward enough. She was watching me, or at least she was facing me. I couldn't quite make out her features, and straining to see them made my head throb painfully. It was enough to know she was with me in this dream, and I shut my eyes with a sigh of relief.

I heard my name, softly spoken, and I fought to look at her again. When she said my name like that in my dreams, it was usually the meadow dream, and I really liked that one. We made love, slow, long, and rife with meaning. She told me she loved me, and I told her I wanted to marry her. And she didn't freak out. Yeah, I liked that dream a lot. I tried to glance around, to see if we'd left the white place and were back in the meadow, but pain seared through my head when I moved it. I looked back at Bella, and she was still with me. She reached out and touched my cheek, and I felt it. I really felt it, and not in the dream-like way I'd been experiencing. Bella. It was Bella, I was awake, and she was really with me.

"Bella." That didn't sound like my voice, but it had to be me speaking. I felt it in my throat, scratchy and raw.

Suddenly, memories came rushing back all at once, overwhelming me a little. The white place was the hospital. I was in the hospital, and my mom and dad had been there…before. Again? I had no idea. My dad had told me Bella and I had been in an accident, but she was okay. He'd also assured me it hadn't been my fault, but I couldn't recall if he'd given me any more details other than I'd hurt my head and my ribs and Bella was okay. I managed to lift my eyes back to her and saw that she was crying.

Bella was crying.

I struggled to sit up. I wanted to take her in my arms and find out what was wrong, if my dad had been mistaken about her being okay, but my body was as limp as a fucking dishrag. I had no strength. The lightning bolt of pain that seared through me made me catch my breath, which only made it worse, and I had to take a second to fight the resulting nausea. I forced my body to go limp and lay back in the bed, panting, trying to swallow, but my mouth was dry and my throat on fire. It would suck to barf when I was dry as a bone, and I was beginning to suspect the resulting pain from heaving would make me pass out again. I concentrated on fighting the sickening urge, and when it passed, I realized Bella was holding my hand and pressing it to her lips. I could feel the wetness from either her mouth or her tears on my skin, and I concentrated on that.

"Shh, Edward. Stay still," she said against the back of my hand, and I did. I didn't have any choice. My body was in complete rebellion. It must have been one hell of an accident.

I had to know if she was okay, and I struggled to form the words to ask. I was suddenly overtaken by anxiety, that whatever had been chasing her in my dreams was after her in the hospital. I knew deep down that didn't make sense, but a lot of things weren't making sense to me.

"Okay?" I managed to rasp. My voice was rebelling, too. I tried to pull on her hand to get her attention and maybe get her to sit or lay next to me. I wanted feel her and know she was all right. "Bella."

"Yes, yes, I'm fine. I'm fine." I relaxed a little at her words. She seemed sincere, and I concentrated on her face. I could see her features better as she had moved closer, and she gave me a wobbly, scared smile as she slowly, hesitantly reached out to brush my cheek again with her fingers. I wasn't sure why she was being hesitant. She wasn't usually when she touched me. "You, though… Oh, Edward."

I tried to turn my face into her light touch, but the blast of pain had me wanting to throw up again. I shut my eyes and focused on the feeling of her fingers on my skin, because that felt good, but the pain was overwhelming the sensation. I wanted to see her, because that felt good, too, but the bright light was starting to hurt my eyes. I was becoming enveloped in pain.

"Can I get you anything?" I saw her lips form the words. I could barely hear her. The wave of agony was roaring in my ears.

"Hurts," I admitted. I wanted to writhe with it, but I didn't dare move. "Jesus."

"I'll ring for the nurse," I heard her say, and that was good. Nurses had pain medication. I wanted away from the white place and back to the soft dark place that meant floating and not hurting. But that meant I'd have to leave Bella. I didn't like that.

I shut my eyes and tried to will the pain away. I was used to a certain amount and could usually deal with it, but this was almost overwhelming. I dimly heard someone else come into the room and hoped desperately it was someone with the meds. I heard a feminine voice, and then Bella's responding, but the waves of agony were lifting me, moving me farther away from the white place and my Bella. I struggled to stay with her for just a little bit longer.

"Edward, you probably don't remember me, but I'm Kate. What's up?"

_Kate?_ Who was Kate? I wanted Bella.

I heard her voice, and then the other woman's as she bent over my bed. "That should help. Let me know if the pain gets any worse, okay? Do you want some water, or anything else?"

Oh God. No water. I wanted it, my dry mouth and aching throat cried out for it, but my stomach lurched warningly. I shook my head, and wanted to howl when pain sloshed through it.

"I'd try to hold your head as still as possible. You got quite a knock there, sweetie, and I don't imagine it's going to feel so great for a while."

_Ya think?_ I knew it was unkind, but hurt to bad to care. I waited impatiently for the meds to work.

I was aware of Bella moving quietly, but couldn't make out what she was doing without opening my eyes, and I wasn't about to risk it at that moment. I heard her rustling around and felt a surge of panic that she might be leaving.

"Stay?" I rasped, lifting my hand, hoping she'd take it and anchor me.

"As long as they'll let me," she assured me.

I felt her warm fingers wrap around mine and wanted to sigh in relief. Between that and whatever they'd given me starting to swim though my veins, I thought I might be able to get a handle on the pain. The softness of her lips touched the back of my hand, and that wasn't right. I wanted to feel them where they belonged. Silly girl had it all wrong. She needed to bring them higher. I wanted to feel her lips on mine.

"Up here?"

"What?"

"Up here." I couldn't make my arms work to point out what I wanted, so I just presented my lips, hoping she'd get it. Hoping she wanted to kiss me just as much as I wanted her to.

She was silent for a moment, and I gathered myself to make the effort to explain what I wanted, but then I heard her moving closer. I could hear the hint of amusement in her voice, and that reassured me almost as much as the much-needed feel of her mouth on mine would.

"You sure?"

I started to nod without thinking, and the bolt of fire lancing through my head made me freeze once again. I could manage three little letters, especially those three. "Yes."

I felt her leaning over me. There was a change in the light behind my closed eyelids, the air between us, the tickle of her hair on my bare arm as she bent and touched her lips to mine. She settled them there for a few precious seconds, warm and soothing. I couldn't respond, not the way I wanted, but my heart accelerated and then settled, and so did my mind. It was Bella, really Bella, and not a dream. She was okay. She still loved me. I let out a relieved, happy breath, satisfied for the moment. I'd take what I could get.

"Good," I breathed when she eased away and sat back in the chair next to my bed. "Thank you."

"Any time." The words and the sincere tone of her voice reassured me, but I still wanted to touch her, to feel her. I reached out for her, but my arm barely moved.

"No strength."

"Don't worry about it." Her voice was low, familiar, and comforting. "It'll come soon enough. Just rest."

I wanted to be sure I wasn't still dreaming. I was having a hard time knowing the difference all of a sudden. I wondered if she'd meet me in the meadow later. It would be nice to go there and not hurt anymore. It would be nice to take the afternoon off and make love to her.

But wait. That had been a dream. I wasn't dreaming anymore, right? I started to get confused and frustrated. I couldn't remember where I was. Oh yeah, the white place. Bella was here. Bella was in the white place, and not being chased by that big thing that wanted to hurt her, whatever it was.

"Really okay?" I needed to hear her say it.

"Really," she assured me. I relaxed and started to float away. There were little fishes swimming in my blood, and I wanted to go with them. Swimming was fun. "Edward?"

Her voice scared the fishes away, and I sighed. I was sad to see them go, but I could catch up later. I wanted to stay with Bella for a little bit longer. I concentrated on her tone, her words.

"You don't remember what happened?"

No. I didn't. I didn't remember, and I didn't want to remember. Did she want me to remember? I only knew what my dad had told me, the last time I was in the white place. Bella hadn't been there then.

"Dad told me…you were…hurt," I managed. "But okay now?"

"Yes. Edward, I'm really okay." Good. That was really, really good. "It's you we're all worried about."

"No worries," I whispered. I didn't want her to worry about anything, especially me. I was okay. I felt better after the pain meds—so much better—and she was there. She'd kissed me. Everything was good.

Except it wasn't, and I didn't know why or what had happened. I heard Bella crying. Bella hardly ever cried. She only cried when…only when…when what? When that guy…_come on_, that guy, the one who did the bad thing—

Holy fucking hell. The blast of pain that shot through my head beat back the pleasant muzziness of the meds, and I moaned. But Bella was crying, huddled over the side of my bed with her face buried in the sheets next to me, and I had take care of her. I had to be sure she was okay. Why was she crying? I had to find out. I managed to lift my hand and place it on her soft, silky hair as I tried to turn toward her, to hold her and hug her to my chest. I didn't want her to cry. I hated when she cried. I didn't want to go back to the dark tree place where she cried and screamed, and I hurt really badly.

"Shh, Bella, shh, it's okay. Scaring me."

"Stop, Edward. Hold still. I'm sorry, I'm just so ha-happy you're awake."

I couldn't make sense of her words. I didn't understand what she meant, but she had stopped crying and was trying to smile at me, wiping her cheeks and stroking my shoulder. I collapsed back into the bed, utterly exhausted. That was okay, because she was okay. I didn't know why she'd been crying, but she'd stopped and was reassuring me. I didn't understand a lot of what had been happening, but I just didn't care anymore. Bella was okay, and I was so tired.

"Go to sleep, sweetie," she said, and that sounded like a great idea. I felt her touch and wanted to snuggle into it. "I'll be here when you wake up, I promise."

That sounded even better. I'd go to sleep, and she'd be there when I woke up. Maybe then I'd understand everything. I hated not knowing what was happening.

"Will you…tell me?" I asked, feeling heavy and slow.

"Tell you? Tell you what?"

"Tell me. What happened." I wanted to know about the accident. Dad said it wasn't my fault, but it bugged me I didn't know what kind of accident we'd been in or what had happened to us. It wanted to bother me a lot, but at that point I only felt curiosity.

"Yes," she said softly. "But not right now. I'll tell you everything you want to know, but later. Rest now. Get better."

I could deal with that. I didn't think I could concentrate or stay awake much longer, anyway.

"Edward?" I heard her voice coming from a long distance away. I wanted to sleep, but she wanted to tell me something. I managed to force my eyes open to see her looking at me, biting her lip.

"Do you…Do you…remember the meadow?"

The meadow. I sighed and blinked. I loved the meadow. Of course I remembered the meadow and everything we'd done in those dreams. It had been sweet and erotic, the words we'd said, the taste of her on my tongue, the feel of her body surrounding me, clasping me, coming, both of us coming, hard and long. She'd said she loved me. She'd said she'd go to Dartmouth with me, that we'd get married someday. Some distant day in the future, but she'd said she would. It was my favorite memory, and one I would never forget.

Wait. A memory. Not a dream? No. It really was a memory. Everything came rushing back in a startling wave of color and sound, sighs and murmurs, and all sorts of sensation. I smiled. Not a dream. A memory. And what a memory it was.

"Not a dream?" I asked, just to be sure.

"No." Her voice was quiet, but firm and definitive. "No."

I'd thought anything that amazing had to be a dream, but it wasn't. I remembered. I'd told her how I felt. I'd told her my plans, and she'd not only given me her agreement—however grudgingly—she'd turned me inside out and upside down and changed me forever with our lovemaking that afternoon. It was something I could never forget.

"Good. Then everything...going to be all right."

It was. I could feel it in my bones.

**-0-**

I fell into a pattern of sleeping and waking that I couldn't seem to break. The urge was there, but the lethargy and discomfort were too strong to fight, so I let myself flow with the cycle while I gathered enough strength to fight it. I was less confused each time I woke, as the weird fantasy dream state I'd been hovering in was slowly giving way to reality. I wondered why I fought so hard to be in that reality, because it really fucking hurt. But I got to see Bella, talk to her, and sometimes she'd even kiss me. She held my hand a lot. My mom and dad were there, which was good, too.

My dad told me about the accident. He said that I'd stopped to help a girl whose car had broken down, and that James Lucard had ambushed me. I'd freaked out a little, and they'd had to sedate me, but I didn't rest peacefully until I saw Bella. My disjointed and terrifying dreams started to make some sense after hearing what I realized was an edited version of what had happened. I saw the brace on Bella's leg, and the pain that filled me matched that from my physical injuries. They told me I'd stopped Lucard from hurting her, and she had done the same for me, but it drove me crazy that I couldn't remember. I asked her to tell me about it again, but tears filled her eyes and she went pale. It shook me. I didn't want to cause her any more pain than I already had, but it drove me crazy not having memories of anything after we left the meadow. I remembered walking to the car, giving her flowers, and driving down the tree-lined highway, but nothing after that. Just the nightmarish images from my dreams.

I thought I saw Emmett and Rosalie. That alarmed me, because they were supposed to be in California. I thought. I was pretty sure. I didn't know what day it was, or even what month. It could have been summer break, but I thought I had just been in school. Mom told me not to worry about it when I asked, telling me I shouldn't let thoughts of school bother me, but that only made me worry more. I tried to ask Bella, but she just said that school was okay, and told me not to worry about it, the same as my mom. I figured that meant school hadn't ended for the summer, and I wondered again why Emmett was there. Maybe I was hurt worse than I thought.

I woke from one of my drugged sleeping jags, and saw my brother's large frame surrounded by bright light. He stood with his back to me, facing the window. I couldn't look at him; the curtains were open and the light hurt my head. I could hear him talking, but I wasn't sure if he was addressing me or not. There wasn't anyone else in the room that I could tell, so I closed my eyes and listened to his low voice.

"I hope you learned your lesson. This is what you get for being such a fucking do-gooder. Always have to help everyone, don't you?"

I didn't know if he meant helping the girl in Port Angeles in the first place, or stopping to help the girl at the roadside, like they had told me I'd done. It didn't matter. Both had led to the current situation—me battered and beaten and unable to even lift my fucking head without crying like a baby, and Bella…Yeah. Bella.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, and felt wetness on my cheeks. Fucking medication. I didn't know what I felt. My brain was only registering my emotions from what seemed like a distance, like they were happening to someone else, but my body responded without any filters or control. I didn't even know what I was apologizing for—all of it, I supposed.

I heard his sudden sharp intake of breath and felt his looming presence approach the bed. My eyes weren't working again, and I found I couldn't open them. He didn't move or say anything for a long time, and I managed to crack one lid and look up at him blearily. His face was screwed up and tortured, and his hand hovered over mine on the bed indecisively. He glanced at my face and shrugged, so I turned my palm up, indicating it was okay. He wrapped his fingers around mine tentatively, and I closed them, applying as much pressure as I was capable of in reassurance. Emmett gave a choking laugh, and I hummed in question.

"I wasn't sure where to touch you so I don't hurt you." he admitted. "Not gonna lie. You look like fucking hell."

"Thanks," I murmured, managing to turn my lips up in a semblance of a smile.

"Love you, little brother," I heard him say as I sleep grabbed me and dragged me under like it had been doing the past few days.

"Thanks," I managed to repeat, meaning it. I drifted away on the black tides of oblivion.

As the days went by, I found myself able to stay awake longer and be more lucid when I did. The pain was staying away longer, too. It was always there, hovering in the back of my consciousness, but the skull-imploding agony, the body-burning incineration came at further and further intervals. I was able to go longer in between medications, and therefore could be somewhat more alert. I realized Bella was only with me some of the time, and Mom told me she'd gone back to school. She said that I'd be able to take whatever tests were required for me to finish the school year later that summer, when I was feeling up to it. Most of my teachers had given me a final grade based on the work I'd finished, so there were only a couple of classes that I would need to take a final test or submit assignments.

The doctors came to talk with me and my mom and dad, going over the injuries I'd received and how I was healing. I was strung out and anxious until I talked with a specialist that told me I hadn't fucked up my hockey career. She warned me it would take a lot of hard work, but she thought I would be able to play again with no noticeable loss of skill and regain the conditioning I'd had pre-accident. She warned me I had to be careful and smart and follow a carefully planned rehabilitation schedule, but I was nothing if not careful and smart and more determined than anyone could imagine. I'd play hockey again and be even better than I had been before. After hearing the news from the doctors, I threw myself into recovering and rebuilding as much as I was able. Dad started looking around for a top rehabilitation therapist to work with me one-on-one, and Emmett promised to return to Forks for the summer to help bring me back into shape. He and Rose had to leave to close up their apartment in California, but they'd return home for a few weeks before he had to report to NFL training camp.

I was in a weird kind of limbo where my mind was rapidly coming out of the funk of medication, sedation, and injury, while my body tried to catch up. I couldn't stand. I could barely sit up by myself without assistance, but my mind was already jumping weeks ahead, where I was already at home, working out, training, hanging out with my friends, and being with Bella. It was frustrating, and on top of all that, I had to put up with Nurse Kate the Smartass, who was both annoying and amusing. Her constant teasing took my mind off my most pressing problems, and I found myself grudgingly looking forward to her rounds and visits.

"Hey there, Rainbow Bright." Kate swept into the room, and I carefully turned my head to scowl at her.

"Rainbow Bright?" I asked, even though I knew I should just ignore her. She was crazy.

"Yeah." She walked over to the side of my bed and leaned in close, invading my personal space. I tried to shrink back in the bed as she peered interestedly at my face and swirled a finger around my head. "You know, all the colors of the rainbow. You've got that red in your hair, and your face is all yellow, green, purple, and…yep. There's some kind of orange there, too."

"Oh my God." I blinked rapidly in place of rolling my eyes. "Seriously? You're making fun of my injuries? Get away from me."

She grinned and went to mess with my IV bag. "Come on, pretty. Time for your sponge bath."

She winked and leered at me, and I tried not to laugh. It hurt too much. "How are you not fired? Sued for harassment or something?"

"Because I'm _goooood_." She got the stuff together for my daily bath.

I snorted. "You're a pain in the ass."

"You want away from me?" She shrugged with a smile. "Recover quicker."

"I wish." I sat forward as she helped me off with the stupid hospital gown.

"Ah, my favorite part of the day." She sighed theatrically as she wiped me down, being careful of the bandages around my ribs and head. Despite her teasing, her touch was completely professional and clinical.

"Yeah. Like anyone wants to see my desiccated and weak bod." I lay back as my head spun from sitting up for those few seconds. My arms were trembling and my legs felt rubbery, even though I had barely moved them. I was short of breath, and my head was starting to hurt again. I didn't even want to think about my chest.

"Hey, a ten dollar word from the kid." She could tell I felt like shit and was feeling sorry for myself, so she tried to distract me. "So, you interested in older women?"

I lay my head back on the pillow and smiled. "Sorry. I'm taken."

"Oh yeah." She pouted playfully. "How about an older brother? Got one of those?"

"Yeah, but he's taken, too." I huffed, trying not to laugh.

"Crap. That figures. I know your dad's not available… He doesn't have a brother, does he? You have an uncle wandering around Forks that no one knows about?"

"Uh-uh," I gasped holding my side. "Oh, ouch. You're being detrimental to my recovery."

"Ooh, another ten dollar word." She grinned at me. "You know, I've got a daughter. She's a little young, but I'd offer her up to you on a platter."

"Child trafficking." I shook my head slowly in mock reproof. "You do know that my girlfriend's father is the Chief of Police, don't you?"

She shrugged. "It can be one of those betrothal things. You know, like on _The Tudors_ or something."

"If you were royalty, I might be interested," I joked.

She finished wiping me down, and I had to admit I did feel better. She draped a fresh gown over me, knowing I was too tired and my head hurt too much to sit forward to put it on properly. "I think you can graduate to real clothes soon. Your mom can bring some T-shirts and shorts from home. You'll probably be more comfortable."

"Great," I murmured.

"Want some pain meds? It's time."

"Yes, please."

"You've reverted to quiet politeness. Now I know you're hurting."

I felt the IV tubes moving, so I knew sweet oblivion was coming. My head started pounding harder in anticipation, and a few seconds later, the warm, fuzzy feeling of relief flooded through me.

"Okay, RB. Take it easy, and I'll be back in to check on you later."

"RB?" I murmured in confusion.

"Druggie," she teased affectionately. "RB—Rainbow Bright, remember?"

I breathed a quiet laugh, smiling as I drifted off into healing sleep.


	34. Chapter 34: Five On Five

**SM owns Twilight and characters. Just so you know.**

**SunKing and Sarahsumbrella - my heartfelt appreciation for your time, support, knowledge, and help whipping this mess into shape.**

**And my thanks to all of you for joining me on this adventure from Edward's POV. Your support, interest, and comments have been the highlights of my week.**

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**CHAPTER 34: Five-On-Five**

I'd been in the hospital longer than I could stand, even though everyone tried to make the weeks go by as quickly as possible. Jasper and Alice were frequent visitors when I was moved out of ICU, and my teammate and even their families stopped by to keep me company. Bella was at my bedside when she wasn't in school, walking the halls with me when I could manage and then outside in the courtyard when I was finally allowed. I started physical therapy in the hospital about a week or two before I left, working with one of the staff members who knew his stuff, but I couldn't wait to go home and really get started on my recovery.

I was so excited the day I left the hospital. I felt free and loose, with no more tubes, lines, or monitoring equipment attached to the various parts of my body. The holes they'd poked and punched in me had mostly healed. I knew I'd only give myself a day or two to take it easy, and then I'd jump right in to my rehabilitation and reconditioning workouts, doing as much as my therapist would allow. Dad had found a top specialist based out of Vancouver who was willing to come to the house once per week to work with me in person and via Internet video the rest of the time. I was determined that with Peter's help, I would be back playing hockey sooner than anyone thought. I knew there was the proverbial long, hard road ahead of me, but I had always been willing to work long and hard.

I was going to play for Dartmouth that next year. I was going to play in the NHL. Fuck that, I was going to play my senior year for Forks High, even though everyone believed I wouldn't be ready. I'd do it. I was determined. I'd been in prime condition before the attack, better than anyone my age in the country. Hell, probably in North America. It put me way ahead of where all of the therapists and trainers thought I would be. I was supposed to be Captain my senior year, and I'd worked my ass off for it. I'd work my ass off to earn it and keep it.

Bella was at the hospital the day I was released, as was Emmett. He helped pack up all the shit I had floating around from my extended stay.

"You know, I'll switch bedrooms with you while you're convalescing," he told me. "That's one less flight of stairs for you to climb, and you'll be on the same floor as the workout room. If I know you—and I do—I know you'll be spending most of your time there and in the hot tub."

"Why does everyone keep trying to give me their bedroom?" I asked, scowling. "I want my own room, damn it."

My mom and dad had been trying to convince me to take their room on the main floor, and hell no. It gave me the creeps to think about sleeping in their bed. Plus, it would be harder to sleep with Bella that way, and I planned on sleeping with her and _sleeping_ with her as soon as possible.

Em snorted. "You'll never be able to haul your skinny, weak ass up three flights of stairs."

I arched my brow, pissed at the statement. "You'd never be able to haul your big ass up three flights. That's why I have the top floor in the first place. I'll manage just fine."

"Stubborn jackass," Emmett said affectionately.

Kate came in the room, pushing a wheelchair. I scowled at it and her. "Well, I can't tell you how much I'm going to miss our special time together, Edward. Especially those sponge baths."

She sighed dramatically, and then high-fived Bella. My scowl deepened. I thought that my girlfriend ought to be reading her the riot act for being so open about getting a thrill from ogling me instead of encouraging her.

"You haven't given me a sponge bath in weeks." She hadn't, not since I'd been able to stand on my own, and Bella had helped me in the shower after that. I sat in the stupid wheelchair when she just sent me a bland stare, and Emmett plopped a plastic bag filled with toiletries in my lap.

"But, oh, those moments will live in my memory forever."

I shook my head, amused despite myself. I hated to admit it, but I'd miss her. My mom came in and hovered over me as Kate wheeled me down the hall to the front entrance, where my dad had pulled up with the car. Bella, Emmett, and my mom trailed along behind, and I felt like some sort of fucked up Pied Piper.

Kate leaned down as my dad jumped out and came around to help me into the car, while Emmett jockeyed for position to do the same. "Be good, RB. Be careful. And take care of yourself."

"Thanks, Kate." I stood, gesturing Emmett and my dad back impatiently, and turned to give her a hug.

She gave me a grin and ruffled my hair—what was left of it. I'd had to cut it a few days before. There had been a big spot in the back of my head where the doctors had shaved me down to my scalp in order to stitch me closed with a line of heavy suture. It had been too big to hide under the rest of my hair, so I'd just had it all buzzed. It had been years since I'd worn it so short, and I'd worried about Bella's reaction. I knew she liked my hair, as she'd said so often enough. We both liked when she ran her hands through it, especially when she tugged and gripped when we were making out or making love. I rubbed my hand over it with a grimace. It was going to be a while before that happened. The hair tugging, not the making out or sex part. At least I hoped.

They all hovered over me as I lowered myself into the backseat of my dad's Mercedes, and I bit back a sharp comment. I knew they were just anxious, excited, and wanted to help. I'd been cranky enough over the past few weeks, so I took a deep breath and called on my patience. Bella rushed around and got in on the other side, and Emmett crowded us as he crammed himself in beside her. I would have bitched at him, but it forced her up against me, and I wasn't about to complain about that.

She held herself stiffly as Dad started the drive home, and I carefully lifted my arm to settle it around her shoulders. I tried to tug her closer, but she resisted.

"I don't want to hurt you," she whispered, biting her lip.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not that fragile, Bella."

She gave me a look I was coming to recognize on all their faces. It was a mixture of fear, relief, anxiety, and concern. I sighed in exasperation and tucked her neck into the crook of my elbow, bringing her face to mine for a soft kiss. It spoke of how worried Emmett had been when he didn't even tease us about it. I couldn't wait to get her alone, just the two of us. No family, nurses, doctors, or any of the other people roaming around in the hospital. It had been way too long since I'd been completely alone with her, and I was anxious just to relax and just _be_, like I could only do when I was with Bella.

We made it home, and I saw the tension leave my dad's frame with a whoosh as I walked inside. I realized how worried he'd been about me, and I gave him a hug in the foyer. "I'm okay, Dad. It feels great to be home."

He pulled away, thumping me gently on the back and examining my face closely. "You look tired, Edward. Don't overdo it, okay?"

"Are you sure you don't want our room?" Mom asked, reaching up for a hug of her own.

"I'm sure." I realized I really was tired and eyed the stairs, knowing I'd better get up them before the fatigue caught up to me, otherwise all my protesting and bravado would be for nothing. I'd end up collapsing on the first landing. I held my hand out to Bella. "Want to help me up? I can't wait to be in my own bed."

A faint wash of color touched her cheeks, but she nodded and laced her fingers with mine. We walked slowly up the stairs, moderating our pace because of me for once and not her. By the time we reached the third floor, I had a painful cramp in my side and was actually breathing heavily. I didn't think I'd ever been out of breath just from climbing the stairs to my room. The next few months were going to suck. I was going to have to make some mental adjustments as well as physical ones. I just wasn't used to my body not responding, having to limit my expectations and abilities. I set my jaw as I limped across the room to my bed—ah, my bed. I was just going to have to work harder and marshal my patience. Nothing was going to stop me from recovering fully and getting back to playing hockey as soon as humanly possible. But…first things first. There was something even more important I had to deal with.

I lowered myself onto my bed, groaning with the amazing, familiar feel of the mattress and comforter underneath me. _Mm, underneath me_. Bella. It might be a while before I could get her underneath me, but I could certainly handle being underneath her as soon as possible. I needed her.

"I didn't think I'd ever be back here," I murmured, closing my eyes and taking a few more seconds to revel in being home. It felt so good.

Silence filled the room, and I sensed a tension in the air. I opened my eyes and glanced at her curiously. Her face was strained, and she was biting her lip. Her eyes were wide and glinting with moisture as she stared at me. I could see her struggling to keep the breath from hitching in her chest. Regret filled me that she was so worried and stressed. I didn't feel like my usual self, but I felt okay. Better than I had in a long time.

"Hey. Come here." I moved over on the bed, and she rushed to climb up next to me, snuggling against my side with a sigh of relief and tucking her face into my neck. She sniffed, inhaling deeply, and I smiled at the sound. I carefully turned on my side, not letting the discomfort from the twinge in my ribs show on my face as I searched hers. She was everything to me, and I was so glad I could lie next to her and hold her in my arms as I'd been dying to do for so long. The sneaky, awkward cuddling on the damn bed and narrow, uncomfortable sofa in the hospital just hadn't cut it.

"I love you."

Her features relaxed at my words, but I could still see the strain in her eyes. I hated being the cause of that strain. I hated the whole situation we were in, and it made my stomach hurt to see her upset. I knew she'd been seeing Aro after my dad had given her and Charlie his information, and she'd told me that talking with him about the attack had helped a lot. I still didn't remember much of the actual events of that night, just the disjointed images of darkness, trees, and Bella being in danger. And the pain. I swallowed, not sure if I wanted to encourage the memories or try to push them away forever.

"I'm sorry, Bella." I was sorry for so many things. Not remembering, not wanting to remember, her being the only one that did remember, that there had to be something for her to remember in the first place…

"I'm sorry, too," she said softly, her fingers touching the healing wounds on my face and then rubbing through my short hair. She couldn't stop touching it. It completely fascinated her. "But we'll get through this, Edward. We'll get through it, move on, and get on with our lives, just like we planned. Remember?"

"That I do remember," I told her, and I did. I remembered the meadow and everything we'd said and done that afternoon, even if the events that occurred later were gone. I remembered every word, every touch, and every blazing, glorious feeling that had burned between us. I remembered all of that, and I was determined to never let either of us forget. "Dartmouth for both of us. And asking you right the first time."

She'd all but told me she'd marry me one day. My Bella. I couldn't stand to not be a part of her another minute. I wanted her desperately. I wanted to reestablish our connection. I wanted to make sure that my memories of us being together weren't just a dream. After my injuries and time spent in the hospital, I wanted—I needed—to prove that I could still make love to her, that I could perform that basic, necessary function. I knew it didn't exactly make sense, but the urge was there and wouldn't be denied. I had to have her. I knew I could get an erection, as I'd had a lot of those over the past couple of weeks, and I could still have an orgasm, as I'd managed to give myself one or two of those, as well. I'd had to check, just to be sure, of course. But I needed more than that. I needed Bella.

I kissed her, and she opened readily, eagerly. I moaned at the feel of her wet, warm mouth, her tongue meeting mine, her teeth scraping and nipping at my lip in enthusiastic response. I lifted trembling fingers to her breast, touching, pressing, and holding. Another soft moan escaped me at the feel of her in my hand. She started slightly, angling her head back to look at me. Her lips were wet as she bit the lower one, and I was hard and aching. I wanted her urgently.

"I don't think that's such a good idea," she said reluctantly, her eyes going from my mouth down my chest. I knew my erection was obvious in the loose shorts I was wearing, and I mastered the urge to rub it against her.

"I know, but I just have to. I have to know, to feel… I can't explain." I couldn't. I didn't know how to tell her how badly I needed to prove to her and to myself that I could, that everything was fine, that I was…well, normal. I was home and we were together, alive and mostly well. I _needed_ her. "Please?"

"Are you sure?" she whispered. Her eyes went back to my chest and stomach, eyeing me doubtfully. My T-shirt covered the worst of the bruising and the ugly incision, but we both knew they were there. I couldn't do much, but if we were careful, I knew it would be fine. "Edward…"

"Please, Bella. I just…I need you." I was so hard. My hips twitched, seeking contact, seeking her.

"I don't want to hurt you."

I could tell she was relenting, and I couldn't stop my body from inching toward her, my arms from gathering her closer. "You won't hurt me. We'll be careful."

Her hand slipped between us to find my straining dick, her fingers curling and gripping, squeezing, rubbing up and down. I reached eagerly for the button on her jeans, knowing it was going to be too fast and much too quick for her, but I wasn't able to slow down and take my time. I'd apologize later. I'd take care of her later. I needed her right that second. She pulled away, and I almost whimpered with disappointment and frustration.

"Let me."

I froze as she backed off the bed and went to the door to lock it. She came back, unfastening her jeans, kicking off her shoes, and pausing to push the denim down her legs as she stood only inches from me.

"You just lie there and let me handle this."

My dick leapt at her words. I tried to act like I wasn't ready to beg her, slavering and whining at her feet. She went to my nightstand drawer and paused, turning to give me an inquiring look.

"Condom?" she asked softly.

I knew what she was thinking. I knew what I was thinking. The last time we'd been together, in the meadow, we hadn't used one. It was the first time in my entire life I'd never used one. I wanted to make that memory real. I wanted to feel those exquisite sensations, that overwhelming emotion. I searched her face but saw no reluctance, only a cautious, eager desire.

"No," I told her, keeping my eyes on hers. "Just you and me."

She smiled, bending to pull her underwear off, and I yanked on the waist of my shorts. It hurt to move from side to side, but I could manage to wiggle out of them. Oh yes, I could manage just fine.

She made a noise of protest, and I stopped the frantic tugging at my clothes to look at her questioningly. She crawled across the bed with a smile, kneeling next to me, and reached for my shorts herself. "I said let me handle this."

I raised my arms slowly and crossed them behind my head, willing to let her do whatever she wanted. "Handle away."

She stripped me of my shorts and underwear, leaving my shirt on. Neither of us wanted such a blatant reminder of my injuries. It wasn't about them, not really. It was about celebrating making it through the past couple of months and the attack in the most basic way. It was about us.

She touched me, stroked me, and took me in her mouth. I moaned and gasped, begged and pleaded, and she finally rose over me, straddling my hips. She took me in slowly at first, pure torture, until she surrounded me, enveloped me, and made me whole. I tried not to thrust or lift my hips, but it was impossible. It did hurt a little, but the gratification was overwhelming and made the discomfort insignificant. Her hips moved faster, rocked harder, took me deeper, and I came with shuddering convulsions that sent bolts of pleasure and pain through my body. It felt sublime.

The relief I felt with that climax was huge, both mentally and physically. I could, I did, and I would again. She eased down against my side and wrapped her arms around my waist in a gentle hug. The exhaustion from the events of the day caught up to me, and I could feel myself drifting toward sleep.

"I'm sorry," I murmured, and she kissed me. I knew it had been quick, but I had been beyond controlling myself. I had needed her, needed that, so very badly. "That wasn't much fun for you."

Her lips brushed mine again. "No, don't worry. That was all for you. Better?"

I managed to blink one eye open and smile down at her before shutting it again. The buzz of contentment filled me, and I fought sleep for a few more precious seconds. "Yeah. I don't know… I just needed to know I still could. I can't tell you how much better I feel. I love you."

I didn't know how to explain it any better. My tongue felt thick and heavy, and my brain was fuzzy. I sighed, tightening my arm around her briefly, secure in the knowledge she was with me as I drifted off to sleep.

"Good. Glad I could help. Anytime, you know?" I heard her murmur, her fingers tracing along my jaw and down my neck to my collarbone. "I love you, too. I'm so glad you're home."

I made a satisfied, contented sound, and succumbed to the need for rest.

**-0-**

The next few moths were alternately hell and heaven and back again. I fought with my body and my impatience as I worked to recover from my injuries with the help of Emmett and Peter, the rehab therapist. It was harder than I wanted it to be, and much slower, but I could both see and feel the gradual improvement in my strength and endurance. The blinding headaches and nausea had almost completely disappeared, only making themselves known with a vengeance when I pushed myself too hard. I was having problems with vertigo and issues with my balance much more often than I wanted. It was improving, but slowly. The balance thing concerned me a great deal, as it was important to being able to skate. And I couldn't wait to put on my skates.

Peter and my doctors finally cleared me to get back on the ice, even though I wouldn't be ready for drills—and certainly no contact—for a while. But I could skate. I grabbed my equipment bag, which had been sitting ready in my closet for weeks. My family wanted to go with me to the arena, but I really didn't want an audience. Not that first time, when I was still a little worried about keeping my feet under me. I wanted Bella, as always, but I told my mom, dad, and Emmett to stay home. Of course, I knew they'd follow anyway.

Being on the ice again was almost as good as sex. Almost. I had a bad moment when my blades first hit the surface. There was an unexpected wobble, a stagger to the side, and my head looped a little, but my body took over automatically. With a surge of overwhelming relief, I pushed off and felt the familiar rush as I glided across the ice. Every muscle remembered and responded automatically. I felt powerful and optimistic for the first time in months. I could skate. I _was_ skating, and it was easy.

My crazy family started cheering when I picked up a loose puck and shot it into the open net. It did good things for my confidence, even if it was an easy, undefended goal. My ribs hurt a little from the twisting motion of shooting and the constant shift of muscles that balancing on my skates required, but overall I felt good. I ran out of breath long before I was used to feeling winded, but all in all it was a successful trip back on the ice. The other guys who had been out scrimmaging wished me well, which I appreciated, as I skated slowly back to where Bella waited for me. She looked anxious and excited as I approached, her eyes searching for any signs the my return to the ice hadn't gone well. I knew there were none.

"So?" she asked with a smile and raised brow.

"Felt great," I told her, coming to a stop just on the other side of the boards. "I'm a little sore and more out-of-breath than I want to be, but it felt great."

"Good." She looked so relieved that I couldn't help leaning down and giving her a good, solid kiss right in front of everybody. I grinned when she looked a little dazed and licked her lips after I straightened. I glance over at where my mom, dad, and brother stood beaming at us. "I'm gonna go change. You can tell them I'm fine."

"They were worried about you," she said, her gorgeous blush coloring her cheeks.

"I know. I was worried about me, too. But I think it's going to be okay." I did. I really did. I was determined to recover and skate at my former level, if not better. Getting out on the ice and feeling better than I had expected went a long way toward convincing me it really was an achievable goal.

"Good," she said absently. She was staring at my mouth, and I ran my tongue teasingly along my lower lip. She unconsciously mimicked the motion, and the strong, healthy desire I always felt after a good turn on the ice escalated. Her eyes drifted down to my waist, and I stifled a groan as I opened the door in the boards.

"Stop it," I told her. I was ready to jump her right on the home team bench "Go. I'll be out as soon as I change."

Her head bobbed jerkily, and despite my best intentions, I had to kiss her again. I pulled her into the quiet corridor where we could have a moment of privacy away from the other players and my nosy family. I towered over her in my pads and skates, and I shifted closer, crowding her, invading her space, impressing myself on her.

"I love you." I was becoming uncomfortably hard in my jock, but ignored it to brush the hair back from her pretty face. "And everything we talked about it the meadow? It's going to happen, Bella. I'm going to make sure of it."

The plans we made might be a little harder to achieve after what had happened, but I was more determined than ever it wouldn't stop us. I wouldn't let it, and I knew she wouldn't, either.

"I love you," she whispered, gripping my arms through my jersey and pads, holding on like she'd never let me go. "You can be sure of that."

I gathered her gently in my arms, lifted her up to align our mouths, and kissed her.

The rest of the summer went by too fast when compared to how slowly my physical condition progressed. My rehab went better than anyone expected, except me, of course. The months seemed to drag at the same time, as I wanted more of it so that I could improve in time to play my senior year in high school. My teammates and Coach Eleazar all voted me captain of the team, even though it wasn't certain I could play with them. I joined their practices over the summer and did help coach a bit, but I felt guilty at taking a spot of someone who wanted to play—who could actually play and help the team out on the ice. Everyone insisted, and it was a unanimous vote, so I accepted gratefully. It made me even more determined to get clearance to play the second half of the season, at least.

The coaches and trainers at Dartmouth were also impressed, not only with the progress I had made in bringing myself back into condition, but also with my leadership skills and the loyalty of my teammates. They offered me the spot on the team with the stipulation I cleared all the health and conditioning checks. I knew that wouldn't be a problem. I was determined to participate in the NHL Scouting Combine the next spring, and I knew if I could pass that, passing the college team requirements would be no problem.

Bella stood by me through it all, even when I was crabby, irritable, and just a stone cold bitch. She left me alone when I needed it, supported me and loved me when I deserved it. She even started working out with Emmett and me. I was glad for her company, as I spent most of my time in the workout room at the house. She was delighted with the sleek, toned arms she was developing, and loved to show them off to me. I was just happy she was happy, even though I was obsessed with bringing my body back to the peak physical condition it had been in before James Lucard ambushed us.

Charlie had talked to my parents and me just before I left the hospital, telling us that James had been released a couple of weeks earlier and taken into custody. The hockey stick I'd impaled him with had missed his heart, but I was pleased to hear that it had screwed up the nerves in his left shoulder, rendering his arm virtually useless. I was less pleased to hear that he wouldn't be going to jail. His lawyers had struck a deal where he would be committed to a criminal psychiatric hospital. He wouldn't be released until it was determined he was no longer a threat to society, whatever the fuck that meant. I wanted him in jail. Charlie explained that his being committed to the hospital was actually better in the long run, as there was no chance of parole and no mandated release date. It was likely he would remain there for the rest of his life, and I decided that a life sentence locked away where he couldn't hurt anyone else was something I could accept.

Charlie had also given me the details of the attack. Bella had said she would, but I didn't want to pressure her. I knew she was still having a hard time verbalizing the events, even after her sessions with Aro, and I understood completely. The only time she had spoken of it, according to both of our fathers, was when she gave her statement to the police at my bedside in the hospital. I was glad that I had been able to support her in any way, even if I hadn't been aware of it at the time. I'd had my own sessions with Aro, and while I knew her injuries and trauma could only be blamed on Lucard, I had to work through my residual guilt of getting her involved in the situation in the first place. It was an ongoing process. It still drove me crazy that I couldn't remember and she did.

One day late that summer, not long before Emmett was supposed to leave for training camp and Bella and I were to start our senior year, I drove out Highway 110. I'd taken that stretch of road a number of times since the attack, but I'd always been with my family or Bella. The first couple of times with just the two of us had been tense and nerve-wracking, but it was the only route between Forks and Port Angeles, so we really had no choice but to deal with the drive. That particular day was the first time I'd gone by myself, and it was completely on purpose.

I didn't remember exactly where the woman's car had been pulled over, but Charlie's description and the details in the police report I'd read gave me a pretty good idea. I slowed the Volvo to park on the side of the road, sitting in the vehicle and staring out at the line of trees, damp asphalt, and gravel shoulder. Taking a deep breath, I got out and walked along the dirt, my head bent and my hands sunk deep in the pockets of my shorts. I tried to think back, to remember…something. I could recall every detail of the picnic, of making love to Bella in the meadow, and every word we said to each other. The memory of walking back to the car, getting in, and even pulling back out onto the highway was crystal clear. It was after those images that everything went blank. I remembered my crazy dreams, the distorted, hazy, terrifying scenes in my head, but that's all they were. Not memories, just dreams. They were nothing but nightmares and hallucinations.

I spun and braced myself on the hood of the car. I raised my clenched fist over it, every muscle in my body tense and rigid, and then lowered my hand slowly. I wanted to hit something really hard, but I didn't want to do any more damage to my body. I'd suffered enough because of James Lucard, and I wouldn't let my fury with what had happened ruin my all the hard work, pain, and effort I'd been putting into my recovery. I lowered myself on my elbows, hunched over the car, and pressed my forehead to my fists. I shook, shuddered, and trembled with anger. After a few minutes of fighting my emotions, I turned to face the long, empty stretch of road. I leaned back on the hood, resting my ass on it and bracing my arms behind me as I brooded, staring unseeing at the asphalt and gravel.

I couldn't fucking _remember_.

I glanced around, hoping that the surroundings would jog my memory, bring something back from that night, but there was nothing. Why did Bella have to suffer with the reality and memories, and all I had was a big blank? Why was she the one that was haunted by what had happened? I could see when it snuck up on her, her eyes going dark and haunted. She would collapse in on herself, waking from fitful naps gasping, her heart thundering, skin damp with cold sweat. It should have been me. I should have been the one battling the demons of what happened that night. It was my burden, not hers, and the fact that she was suffering when my mind was just a black hole when it came to the events of that night wasn't right.

I heard the soft purr of a well-tuned engine, and another vehicle pulled up behind my car. I stiffened, but recognized it as my dad's Mercedes. I wasn't surprised when Emmett appeared in my peripheral vision. He didn't say anything, just leaned up against my car next to me, imitating my pose. I tamped down on the flare of annoyance that he was practically sitting his heavy ass on my hood and sighed. We just sat there in silence for quite some time, until he stretched his arms over his head and bumped me inquiringly with his shoulder.

"I thought it would help," I said softly. My gaze once again roved the roadside as I searched for some sign of what had happened, even though I knew months had passed and there was no way there would be any evidence left to find.

"And did it?" he asked.

I heaved another sigh, scrubbing my hands through my hair. I could do that since it had grown quite a bit the past few months. I lowered my head to my chest and let my shoulders slump.

"No," I admitted. "Not really. But it was worth a shot."

He leaned over and slung an arm around my shoulders. We sat like that for a few more minutes, and then he patted my back, letting his hand linger.

"Mom was worried about you. Bella, too. Let's go home."

Home. Yes. Home to Bella. I had an amazing woman who loved me, an amazing future ahead of me. And like I constantly told myself, I was the luckiest bastard on earth.

I could work with that.

I had a plan.

_**THE END**_

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**There is one more chapter, an epilogue-ish future take that I'll post in a couple of days.**

**Thank you. Sincerely.**


	35. Chapter 35: The Proposal  A Futureshot

**SM owns Twilight, I don't.**

**SunKing and Sarahsumbrella deserve so much love for helping me with this monster. Thank you, ladies. I love you (but you still can't sit in my lap).**

**This was written last year for Team Iceward for the FGB auction. Thank you, ladies, for your generous donations and to Swino, who organized the team late in the game. She did a lot in a short amount of time for a good cause.**

**My heartfelt gratitude to all of you for spending these last few months with me and your support of the story. It means more to me than I can say, and believe me, I tried to come up with something that express my appreciation. Words fail.**

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**The Proposal - A Future-shot**

I was going to be late.

Fuck.

I _was_ late.

I ran across manicured patches of grass between buildings and down weathered sidewalks. I got a few startled and curious looks—a grown man in a custom-made suit booking it through the streets, dodging people, children, and small animals. The looks might also have been because I was sporting the beginnings of what promised to be a spectacular black eye. I also had a nasty gash high on my left cheekbone held together with a strip of bandage hastily applied by our team doctor late the night before. The battered face and the elegant suit clashed, but that was my life. Bella deserved only the best, and this was my best suit.

The graceful old building was just ahead, and I ran up the steps three at a time, skidding to a halt in front of the heavy, closed doors. I wasn't out of breath, but the humidity had made the fine, hand-tailored shirt cling to me, and my hair was in disarray. I ran my hand over my head, knowing it was hopeless, but making an attempt to tame the wild strands anyway. My fingers rubbed through the thickening scruff on my cheeks and chin, and I mentally shrugged. I couldn't shave my playoff beard, and there was nothing I could do about it at that point, anyway. I knew it added to my disreputable look, especially with the blackening eye and ugly cut on my face. So goes the life and times of a professional hockey player.

I smoothed the jacket of my suit, knowing that it, at least, was appropriate for the ceremony. I took a deep breath and opened the heavy, ornate door. It was cool, much less humid—thankfully—and quiet in the small lobby. I pushed my way through the second set of doors and found myself in a small hall-like auditorium. I noted the approximately one thousand or so graduates sat in their caps and gowns on the main floor as I made my way to the aisle that led to the stadium-style seating along the sides. I got quite a few dirty looks as I climbed over people to the one empty seat I had spotted. As I sat, I heard the whispers start.

"…Cullen…"

"Edward Cullen…"

"...Red Wings…playoffs…"

"…won last night…quite a hit…"

"…gorgeous...!"

"…even better looking in person…"

I still hadn't gotten used to being recognized. I ran my hand through my hair and ducked my head self-consciously. It made me uncomfortable when people went on and on about my looks, although I knew I had them to thank for the many—and quite lucrative—endorsement deals my agent had procured for me. Garrett was my and Emmett's agent, and he had done a terrific job with both of our respective contracts and endorsements. His goal was to make us just as well known as the Manning brothers, and it was a job he was taking seriously. I still wasn't sure about the well-known part, but I had to admit the money was really nice.

My eyes searched the seated crowd on the main floor below me. I knew my chance of picking Bella out in the sea of caps and gowns was slim, but I hadn't seen her for a few days, and I was desperate for even a glimpse of her dark hair and sweet face. My late entrance and minor celebrity must have caused a stir because a few heads turned my way, and all of a sudden, I saw her. My heart jumped, and I barely refrained from leaping out of my seat and waving frantically. Her brown eyes met mine, widening in surprise and happiness, and I winked. She blushed, smiled, and turned back to give her attention to the speaker at the podium.

I slouched uncomfortably in my seat for the next hour, waiting for the graduation ceremony to be over so I could touch her again. I let my body relax and unwind as much as I could. The previous twenty-four hours had been hell. We'd won our first-round playoff series against the Canucks on the road in Vancouver in five games. I'd been on the go ever since the last one ended, trying to make it back to Michigan, and her graduation, on time. I concentrated on Bella , watching her movements, the swing and sway of her hair, the motions of her hands, until it was time for the graduates to walk across the stage and receive their Master's diplomas. I clapped and whistled when it was her turn, inordinately proud of her achievement.

After the ceremony concluded, the graduates made their way outside to the large open area in front of the building. I finally found her under the canopy of trees, talking with a group of friends. I couldn't help the smile that curved my mouth as I approached, taking in her flushed, happy profile. Christ, I wanted to see her face fill with color, see that glow in her eyes as I held her underneath me and entered her. I had to get control of myself, because it looked like it would be a while until I could get her alone. I didn't want to take away from her day, so I fought the urge to just do a scoop and run, toss her over my shoulder, and have my way with her behind a bush.

This wasn't about me, I reminded myself. This was her accomplishment. She'd wanted this ever since the day I had gone with her to the Pacific Northwest Trust offices our senior year in high school to apply for financial aid for college. She'd been so set on a Literature degree until then, but meeting with Stefan, who had been running the Trust for our family for as long as I could remember, had been an eye-opening experience to say the least. Bella developed an endless fascination with how the Trust ran and the wide range of benefits it provided to so many different people. It was all she could talk about for days afterward. The visit had stirred her interest in being involved with an organization that assisted people who just needed a little help, not unlike her situation with college, and who didn't have the support system we did. She had also been very interested in helping people who had been though a similar experience as we had earlier that year—support to help victims of violence.

I knew how her mind worked, and I wasn't the least bit surprised when she asked if I would sit down and talk with her and Charlie one day during our senior year in high school. Charlie had been surprised but intrigued when she told us she was considering a Business degree and looking into a career with an organization similar to PNT. I told her later she probably wouldn't have to look far; Stefan and the other Trustees of PNT had been just as taken with her as she was with them. He'd even started including notes asking about her with the account statements he sent to me. Not only had she impressed them enough to get financial aid to attend Dartmouth, but they had also promised her an interview with them upon graduation. She had been working her way up through PNT ever since getting her undergraduate degree in Business, and had gone back to school here in Michigan for her MBA. We'd both been putting in long, hard hours over the past six years, but everything was finally coming together.

She must have sensed my presence as I approached from behind, or seen the guy she was talking to look up, because she spun suddenly and squealed when she saw me. She ran the last couple of steps and jumped into my arms. I laughed as she covered my face with kisses, wrapping her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck.

"Edward!" she gasped, leaning back to look at me. Her eyes narrowed on the bruise around my eye and the cut underneath it. He fingers came up to trace the marks gently.

"It's fine," I assured her as her gaze flew to mine.

"It is not fine!" she snapped, carefully pressing her lips to the wound. For some reason, my cock twitched. "What the hell was wrong with that guy?"

I shrugged. Leave it to Matti Wilhelm, one of Vancouver's defensemen, to get ornery. He'd been running rampant with the elbows, pokes, slashes, and cross-checks until Coach sent me out to put a stop to it.

"It was worth it," I said. "He got a double penalty, which let us score the game winner." I juggled her to get a better grip on her ass so I didn't drop her. She felt so good against me, and I wasn't ready to put her down.

She arched a brow, which clearly conveyed her opinion of how much it was really worth. "I know. I saw the game last night."

"You did?" I was pleased despite myself.

"Of course." She rolled her eyes and smiled down at me. "Like I'd miss seeing you play, especially in the playoffs."

I leaned forward to capture her mouth, ignoring the fact that crowds of people surrounded us. The hot, sweet taste of her filled my head and my heart. I sank into her, feeling her arms tighten around my neck and her fingers twist in my hair. I took a staggering step forward, looking for something to brace against, wanting to get my hands under that God-awful polyester gown she was wearing. A loud cough brought me back to reality.

I reluctantly lifted my mouth from hers and felt great satisfaction at the sight of her face. Her eyes were heavy and wanting, lips wet and pink.

"Hi," she murmured.

"Hi." I couldn't resist one last kiss to her lips.

"You were late."

"I know." I grimaced. "I'm sorry. There was a weather delay in Vancouver. The plane couldn't take off until really early this morning. I came right from the airport." I'd had our team car service pick me up from the terminal and bring me here, while the rest of the team went back to Joe Louis Arena in downtown Detroit on our private bus to pick up their cars and go home.

She hugged me, and I lowered her to her feet. "It's okay, Edward. I know it wasn't easy for you to get here. I'm just glad you made it."

"I wouldn't have missed it. I'm so proud of you." I was, too. My beautiful, brilliant, big-hearted girl. I bent my head to kiss her again.

That annoying little cough sounded once more, and I glanced behind her in irritation. There was a small group standing in a loose circle staring at us with wide eyes. Coughing-Boy—tall, lean, dark haired, with a pair of intellectual-looking glasses—was giving me the stink-eye. _Huh_.

"Oh." Bella blushed and pulled out of my arms. Now I had even more reason to be annoyed with Coughing-Boy. "Sorry, guys. Edward, this is my study group. We've put in a lot of hours together over the past couple of years. You remember Sam and Emily. This is Paul and Embry. Guys, this is my boyfriend, Edward."

I'd met Sam and Emily before. The four of us had gone out together on a couple of occasions. Embry was really tall, really skinny, and really pale with really bad hair. Coughing-Boy, however…Coughing-Boy was eyeing my girl. And he wasn't unfortunate looking.

I didn't offer my hand, instead wrapping my arm around Bella's waist and pulling her to me. She gave me a quizzical look as she placed her hand on my chest, over the lapel of my suit jacket.

"Boyfriend?" Coughing-Boy questioned with a lift of his brow and a pointed look at the bare ring finger of her left hand. "You guys aren't—"

"Hey, are you going to come celebrate with us? I think there's a bottle of champagne or two with our names on it," Emily stepped forward with her fiancé, Sam.

I glared menacingly at Cough…Paul. I was sure that my battered face only added to the threat as his eyes widened and he took a step back.

"I don't know." Bella looked up at me uncertainly. "Edward's been traveling all day and all night to get here from the West Coast."

"Do you want to go?" I asked quietly. I was exhausted and only wanted to be alone with my girl whom I hadn't seen in what seemed like forever, but this was her night. I'd gladly put aside my discomfort to celebrate her achievement.

"Well…" she bit her lip and glanced at her friends.

"Come on, we'll go for a little while," I encouraged.

"You're sure?" she asked, but a happy smile spread across her face. I could deny her nothing when she looked like that.

"Yeah. Of course."

"We both have something to celebrate," she said. "My MBA, and you winning the playoff series."

I nodded, smiling after her as she went over to Emily to find out where we were heading. I noticed Paul watching her with longing and avarice on his face, and I narrowed my eyes. No one looked at Bella like that but me. I thrust my hands in my pockets, clenching them into fists so I wouldn't be tempted to pop him one right in his covetous face. My fingers closed around the small, delicate ring I'd been carrying in my pocket for the past few months. It was my lucky talisman, my Grandmother Cullen's engagement ring—the ring I wanted to give Bella. It calmed me somewhat, and I was able to restrict my need for violence to a steely glare.

Paul's friend—Embry—nudged him, noticing my warning look, and he turned a startled, sheepish face in my direction. He blinked rapidly, but I had to grudgingly give him some credit as he lifted his chin and tried to match my glare. _No chance, kid_, I thought. I'd gone up against the biggest, baddest, toughest enforcers the NHL had to offer over the past three years. Coughing-Boy would have to do a lot better than that if he thought he was going to intimidate me. A lot better.

"What are you doing, man?" Embry muttered in his ear. They'd taken a couple of steps away from me, but I could still hear them. "That's Edward freaking Cullen. You know, the playoff game we watched last night? He's the one who got into that fight. What's wrong with you?"

"He looks like a moronic thug," Paul muttered petulantly, eyeing me standing in my expensive suit with a bruised and battered face. My eyes widened in surprise and then narrowed in anger.

"He graduated—early and with honors—from Dartmouth, you idiot," Embry hissed. "And that was before he signed on as a defenseman with the freaking Detroit Red Wings."

"He doesn't scare me," Paul muttered defensively, but his eyes dropped from my laser stare.

"Then you are fucked in the head, my friend." Embry shook his head and walked toward the girls. I forced my face to remain impassive, my eyes hard and cold, until Paul looked away and shuffled after his friend.

_That's right_, I thought. _Stay away from what's mine_. I held the ring in my fist as I transferred it from my pants to my inside suit coat pocket for safekeeping.

"Edward?" Bella walked over to me, glancing curiously at Paul and Embry who were arguing in whispers as they stood with the others waiting for us. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I took her hand and pulled her to me for a quick kiss. "I think your study partner has a crush on you."

"_Embry_?" Her incredulous gaze flicked back and forth between us.

"No, not Embry. Paul."

She leaned back and looked at me in concern. "Did you get hit on the head last night or something?"

"Nah." Her incredulous and dismissive response went a long way toward restoring my good humor. I gave her one more kiss because I could, and we walked over to her friends.

"We're going to one of the local bars," Emily explained. "Do you guys need a ride?"

Bella looked up at me, and I shook my head. My car was back in the lot at the arena. I'd had the same service that brought me here give Bella a ride from the townhouse to the graduation ceremony, thinking I'd be taking her home myself. Since that hadn't exactly worked out like I'd planned, I'd just have Jeff, the driver, drop us off at the arena later that night to pick up the Volvo.

"No. I've got the car service tonight. We'll just meet you there. Do you know where it is?"

She nodded, and we turned to go our separate ways before meeting at the bar.

"Car service," I heard Paul scoff, and I shot him a look. Embry grabbed his arm and dragged him down the street. I thought Paul had better watch it, or he was going to get my foot right up his ass.

I called Jeff, and he pulled the limo up to the curb where we waited within minutes. Once inside, Bella gave him the location of the bar and shed the ugly gown that covered the lovely halter dress she wore underneath. I took that as permission to lose my tie. I started getting a little aroused—we were kind of undressing—and grabbed her close to kiss her neck and bare shoulder.

"I've never kissed a MBA before," I murmured against her smooth skin. "Wanna be my first?"

"You already kissed me," she pointed out, but her voice was breathy as I ran my mouth up her neck. "Edward…"

"That didn't count," I said, cupping her face in my hands and bringing my lips to brush over hers. "This one will, though. I missed you, Bella. And I am _so_ proud of you."

I kissed her with small bites and glancing touches. She sighed as I moved one hand to the back of her neck, tilting her head and sliding my tongue into her mouth. I started slow and easy, enjoying her instant response, the warm slick feel of her, before overwhelming need took over as it always did between us. I pulled her closer, into my chest, and was entirely caught up in the kiss until the limo came to a jerking halt.

She sighed again when I pulled away, her eyes blinking as she became aware of her surroundings. Holy fuck, I wanted her. It had been too long, and I loved her too much. I glanced up at Jeff with a raised brow—he never jerked the limo—and saw him trying to hide a smile. It was a good thing I knew him well.

"Thanks," I said dryly as he got out, and helped Bella from the vehicle. "I'll call when we're ready."

"Of course, Mr. Cullen." He was definitely smirking, and I shot him an amused, warning look.

"Come on," Bella urged with a smile, taking my hand and pulling me inside the building.

The Blue Moose appeared to be a typical college-town bar, but Bella assured me they had excellent food. There were quite a few overdressed graduates celebrating that night, and it was a little crowded, but the service proved to be excellent as well. Our waitress came to our table promptly, taking my order for their best champagne and some food with a lift of her brow, assuring us she would be right back with the bottles and some glasses.

"Yeah." Bella looked at me in amusement when I mentioned how quick the service was despite the crowd. "I think it might just be the handsome fella sitting next to me that's the cause of that."

The waitress returned with our champagne and a secretive wink for me. I shifted uncomfortably, glancing at Bella. She was watching with amusement in her eyes, and she hugged my arm tightly to her side as the waitress gave us an encompassing glance.

"I think it's probably the suit," I whispered jokingly as the waitress went about her business with one last glance over her shoulder.

Her eyes heated as they roved over my form. "You know I love you in that suit," she said huskily, tracing her finger along one of the pinstripes that ran down my chest. I had to adjust the semi hard-on that suddenly made itself known. Her eyes followed the movement and focused between my legs. "Don't," she moaned, brushing her hand over me, and it wasn't a semi any longer.

"Hey guys." Emily pulled out a chair and sat down across from us. Sam, Embry, and a shuffling Paul followed closely behind her. Her eyes darted back and forth between Bella's flushed face and my clenching jaw. "Is everything okay?"

"It's fine!" Bella exclaimed a little too enthusiastically, yanking her hand from my lap and causing me to grunt and sit forward. Subtlety had never been her strong suit.

"Uh-huh." Emily's eyes were knowing as she looked at us, but we were saved from further embarrassment as Embry spotted the two chilling bottles of champagne on the table.

"Sweet!" He grabbed the glasses sitting next to the ice buckets and started passing them around. His eyes went back to the bottles as he got to the last couple of glasses, and his movements slowed. He peered closely at the labels. "Oh! Uh…Holy crap, we can't afford this."

"No way," Paul agreed, and Liz looked wistfully at the sweating bottles.

I leaned forward and grabbed one out of the ice, removing the cage and popping the cork. "No worries, guys. It's on me."

I filled each of the glasses and then opened the other bottle, motioning for the waitress for another round. I noticed the chagrined embarrassment on Emily, Sam, and Embry's faces, and the resentment on Paul's. I felt bad about the other three, but my black little heart swelled with happiness that Coughing-Boy was jealous. He damn well should be, and not because I could afford bottles of Veuve-Clicquot. It was all about the amazing woman sitting next to me.

I paused, not wanting her other friends to be uncomfortable. "It's my graduation gift to you, and my thanks for helping Bella when I've been gone over the past couple of years. You've all worked hard; you deserve it."

"Well," Sam said with a grin, reaching for a glass and saluting me. "When you put it that way…Cheers!"

We ate, drank, and celebrated. After a while, Emily and Bella got up to go to the bathroom, and I went up to the bar to get a draft. I'd had enough champagne while celebrating our playoff series win the night before. As I waited for the overworked bartender to get my beer, Paul came up beside me to lean on the bar. He looked at me belligerently, blearily, and I realized with a sigh he was well on his way to being drunk.

"Paul," I acknowledged when he just continued to stare at me.

"Guys like you, Cullen…" He belched with what I'm sure he thought was discretion behind his hand. "Guys like you…" He shook his head in disgust.

"What about 'guys like me?'" I asked, turning to face him and reminding myself to stay calm.

"Guys like you… Everything comes so easy. Everything. You're just lucky, you know. So damn lucky. That's all it is."

I took a firm grip on my temper as I felt my jaw clench and raw anger ripple though me. I had it _easy_? All of the thousands upon thousands of hours I'd put in on the ice since I was old enough to walk, constantly training, constantly focused, constantly in pain throughout my life. The things I'd had to give up in order to practice, to travel, to play, to get to that level, that point in my life. _Easy_…the year I'd spent in rehab after getting attacked by a maniac wielding a lead pipe. The three years in college—at Dartmouth—going to school and studying year-round, even during summer terms, so that I could graduate early and start my professional hockey career while I was still young, healthy, and in demand, all the while still training and playing for the Dartmouth hockey team.

Lucky I'd give him, no problem. _Easy_…not so much. I was lucky to be where I was, and lucky to have someone like Bella in my life. She'd stuck with me through it all, that terrible year after the attack when I wasn't fit company for anyone, when I drove myself harder than I had any right, when she should have left my ass for someone who could have given her all the time and attention she deserved…Yeah, I was a lucky bastard.

"Look, Paul," I said in a low, dangerous voice. I wanted to pound his stupid, girlfriend-coveting face, but I also felt some sympathy for him. I had her, and he never would. "I can't blame you for being a little in love with Bella."

"I'm not!" he protested automatically, flushing hotly.

"I don't blame you for that. She's amazing," I continued, ignoring his words and taking a step toward him. I squared my shoulders and straightened to my full height. He took a belated and alarmed step backward, coming up hard against the bar. "But listen to me, Paul, and listen good. I love that girl. She's mine—she always will be. And I look after what's mine. Just so you know."

He scowled in mock bravado. "That's barbaric. 'She's yours.' What era are you from, anyway?"

I shrugged unapologetically, keeping my gaze level on his. "You might have noticed I am a little barbaric." I lowered my brows, knowing it would make the black eye more apparent. "Admire all you want, Paul old buddy, but keep your hands and your thoughts to yourself. Yeah?"

I clapped him on the back and maybe gave a little squeeze—just a little one—to his shoulder. I left him spluttering as I noticed Bella and Emily arriving back at our table.

"Edward!" She spun to me with a happy grin as I approached, a little unsteady on her feet. Her cheeks were pink and her eyes sparkling as she stood up on her tiptoes to wrap her arms around my neck.

I eyed the empty plates and bottles of champagne and then the buzzed girl in my arms. "I think it's time to call it a night," I said to Sam, who had his arms full of Emily.

"I think you're right." He grinned at me and reached for his back pocket. "Are you sure we can't chip in for the bill?"

"No." I waved him away and moved Bella to my side, where she happily laid her head on my shoulder. "Really, it's my pleasure. Congratulations." I was glad I could do that one small thing for them.

"Thanks, Edward." He reached out and shook my hand, and Embry did the same.

"Bye!" Bella called as they made their way to the door. Paul fell in behind them with a grudging nod of thanks in my direction. "I'll talk to you soon!"

"I've got to pay the bill and then we can go," I told Bella. She clung to my side as I made my way back to the bar to hand the bartender my credit card. I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket while I waited to sign the charge slip, letting Jeff know we'd be ready to head back to the arena and my car in a few minutes.

I had just slipped the phone back into my pocket when someone approached. "Hey, aren't you Edward Cullen?"

"Um, yeah." I felt Bella's hand had slip inside the placket of my shirt and rub over the thin cotton undershirt I had on, poking around in my navel. It was very distracting. I tipped my head at the bartender when I caught his eye, silently asking him to hurry with my card.

"Oh, wow, I thought so. Hey, guys! It is him! It's Edward Cullen!" he shouted across the bar and I winced, waving my hand at the bartender. Normally I was thrilled to chat with fans—it was still kind of new and exciting to be recognized—but Bella was feeling frisky from the champagne, and I was exhausted from playing, celebrating, traveling all night, and celebrating again. I just wanted to be in the back of the limo relaxing with my girl. The bartender finally arrived with my card, and I signed the receipt quickly, sliding it back to him with the pen. He glanced down at my signature and then back up at my face.

"It is you," he commented, and I barely refrained from rolling my eyes. He just had my card with my name embossed on it, hadn't he? "Hey, do you mind signing this?" He thrust a menu in my hand.

"Yeah, will you sign?" A chorus broke out behind me, and I saw that a crowd had gathered. Bella peered around my chest in interest at the commotion, leaning heavily against my side. I sighed, picking her up by the waist and setting her on the bar so she wouldn't fall over and I wouldn't lose her.

"Sorry," I murmured. "Give me just a second, okay?"

She smiled and kissed my nose. "It's okay, Edward. They're your fans. You have fans!" she squealed in delight. I'm sure she meant to say it quietly in my ear, but she wasn't using her inside voice.

I hid a smile and signed the pieces of paper, books, napkins, and menus that were thrust under my hand. I nodded as the events of the previous night's game were reviewed, analyzed, criticized, and praised as if I hadn't been there myself and was hearing it for the first time. I noticed Bella was swaying a little from her perch on the bar, and I took a step back to lift her down, tucking her under my arm.

"Thanks everyone," I called, lifting my hand in a wave. "Gotta go. Thank you. Thanks." I eased my way through the small crowd that had gathered until we finally made it outside to the sidewalk. The lightly populated street was a welcome relief.

Jeff had the limo waiting curbside, and I opened the door to help Bella in before he could come around to do it himself. I slid in behind her as she scooted across the leather seat, feeling immediate relief in the air-conditioned interior. The night air had cooled somewhat, but the humidity was still brutal. Bella curled up against me as we settled in and the limo pulled out into traffic.

"Thank you," she murmured, all warm and soft as she hugged my arm to her breast and scooted even closer. "Thank you for coming, and thank you for tonight at the bar."

I put my arm around her shoulder and kissed the top of her head. "I wouldn't have missed it, Bella. Miss MBA. My little Miss MBA."

I kissed her head again and frowned. She should be my _Mrs_. MBA. Damn it. Coughing-Boy's little comment and snide glance at Bella's ring finger had really gotten under my skin. I imagined I could feel the weight of the ring I was carrying in my breast pocket. I stifled the urge to run my fingers over the smooth, cool metal and hard stone as had been my habit lately. I wanted to ask her right then, right there, in the back of the limo, but stifled that urge, too. I wouldn't ask her to marry me in reaction to a fit of jealousy caused by some good-looking, intellectual jackass. She wanted me to ask her right the first time, and I intended to—because I intended it to be the last time for both of us.

She shifted, and I loosened my arm around her as she swung to face me, straddling my lap. She gripped the lapels of my suit in her hands and tugged, bringing her face down so the tip of her nose brushed mine.

"You do know that champagne makes me horny, right?" she whispered, tantalizing us both by hovering her lips a breath away from mine.

"I am aware of that fact, yes." I teased her by moving my head and maintaining the infinitesimal distance between our mouths as she tried to kiss me. I grunted as she shifted her hips meaningfully against my lap.

"Kiss me, Edward."

Who was I to argue? It was her night, after all. Her hands gripped, twisted, and pulled my hair as I opened my mouth over hers, tasting the sweet sourness of the alcohol on her lips and absorbing the flavor that was so familiar and all Bella. I grabbed her hips and rocked against her before I managed to tear my mouth from hers.

"I missed you," she breathed in my ear right before she sank her teeth into the lobe.

I shuddered. "Jeff," I managed to say as she continued to suck on my ear and neck. "Back to the arena, please. And you can put the divider up for the rest of the drive."

"Of course, Mr. Cullen, sir." I saw the smirk as the darkened glass rose between the driver and passenger's compartments. I was so going to get shit for this, but I didn't care as she ground against me.

She lifted her head to smile mischievously when the divider was firmly in place.

"What?" I asked, leaning up to capture her mouth again.

"Mm." She pulled away with a satisfying, wet smacking sound and started nibbling along my jaw. I tipped my head to give her better access. "What would you like _me_ to do?" she asked in a low, soft whisper as she brought her mouth back to my ear. "Mr. Cullen." Her voice was slow, pure sex. She kissed my lips, and slid her cheek along mine to murmur into my other ear. "Sir." The word was husky, heated, and heavy with sensual meaning.

Holy fuck. I bucked up against her, and she laughed—she fucking laughed, a full, throaty rumble—as I attacked her mouth. We made out like teenagers in the backseat of the team limo, her knees on either side of my hips, rubbing and grinding, laughing and gasping. I found the intriguing set of tiny buttons that fastened the halter strap of her dress behind her neck and twisted them loose. She leaned back with a soft smile curving her lips, her hands holding the material to her chest. I kept my eyes on hers until she lowered the straps, exposing her beautiful white breasts. They were supported by two lacey scraps of...something that seemed to be stuck to her skin underneath, holding them up, exposing her hard, erect nipples. My fingers traced the supporting scrap of material—it _was_ stuck to her skin, offering that delicious, melting, feminine flesh up to my mouth. I thought that there was no way it could be comfortable, and that it really wasn't going to be fun to peel off later, but then the limo hit a rough patch of road and her breasts swayed. The motion drew my attention unerringly back to them.

Her skin was cool against the heat of my mouth as I placed it over one hardened tip, and I brought my hand up to cover the other. She moaned, rolling her head back, arching her hips against my erection, and reached down to the button on my pants. I reluctantly moved my hand from her breast to wrap my fingers around her wrist. I still had enough wits about me to know that there was no way my naked ass was going to be anywhere near the seat of that vehicle. I knew what went on in there—pretty much what was going on in there at the moment. And I really didn't want to show up at the dry cleaners with come—from both her and me—all over my custom-made, multi-thousand dollar suit pants. Her hand ran up and down my shaft, gripping and stroking, and my resolve on that last one wavered.

She eased back, pulling her breast away with a soft pop, and then kissed my bereft mouth. She cast a wry glance over her shoulder at the divider before turning back to me with a lift of her brow.

"Edward…" her hand lifted to brush my cheek, and she kissed me again. She sat up, her eyes regretful on mine as she slowly lifted the straps of her dress back around her neck. My fingers touched the smooth, soft skin of her breasts as she covered them.

She gave me one last, lingering kiss as she slid off my lap, and I blew out a breath as she once again tucked herself under my arm. She placed her hand on my chest, resting her cheek over it, and sighed herself.

"Later," I whispered, unable to keep my lips from touching hers.

"Yes, sir," she murmured, and I groaned.

She laughed and looked up at me. "Tell me about the game."

"Tell me about your night," I countered, wanting to keep the evening about her. "I'm really sorry I couldn't be here earlier to celebrate."

"You were here for the best part," she assured me, and then frowned thoughtfully. "But maybe it was the best part because you were here."

I hugged her, and we talked about our day until the lights of downtown Detroit reflected in the windows. I squinted as Jeff pulled up to the gate that surrounded the secured, covered parking lot where the players left their cars, trying to decide if the window tint was darker than I thought, or maybe dirty, or if it was…foggy outside? The limo stopped next to the Volvo XC60 I'd bought when I went to play for Detroit, knowing I'd need the SUV's all-wheel drive for the winters. It was the only car left in the small, private lot as everyone else had already returned from the airport and gone home. Jeff opened the door for Bella, helping her out, and I followed closely behind. I slipped him a generous tip for his discretion and assistance.

"Thanks, Jeff," I said, clapping him on the back.

"Thank you, Mr. Cullen." It still felt weird being called mister by someone no older than I was. "Be careful driving home, okay? This stuff is getting thick."

It _was_ foggy out, the mist rolling in from the Detroit River just on the other side of the arena. I nodded as he got back in the limo, pulling out through the gate, and I watched as it closed behind the vehicle. I turned to see Bella standing in the middle of the lot, her arms out, turning in leisurely circles with her head tilted back. I stuck my hands in the pockets of my pants and admired her slim, graceful form. She stopped her slow rotations and faced me with a smile.

"It's very foggy."

"Very," I agreed, not moving.

"I like the fog." She tilted her head as she watched me.

"Do you?" I made no attempt to move. I just took in the sight of her, enjoying the intimate atmosphere the mist created in the secure, walled lot.

"Do you remember…?" Her voice trailed off, and I arched a brow in question as she took a couple of slow steps toward me. "Do you remember the parking lot at the Forks ice arena? When we were in high school?"

I knew exactly what she was talking about. I removed my hands from my pockets and took my own steps toward her. "The night after the hockey game. In the fog."

"Mm-hm." She stopped a few inches away, her face glistening in the orange glow of the lights cutting through the damp haze. It was eerily similar to that night.

"We were going to the movies in Port Angeles," I recalled. "We were waiting for Jasper and Alice. We danced."

I reached out and took her hand, raising it over her head and guiding her into an easy twirl. The skirt of her halter dress billowed out and tangled around my legs as I pulled her close. I put one hand on her waist and held the other against my chest as we took slow, measured steps in a close circle, dancing to silent music. She smiled up at me, and then laid her head on my chest as she sighed happily.

"It was the first time you told me you loved me."

"I still love you," she said softy. "More than ever, if that's even possible."

_Jesus_. I stopped, taking her face in my hands and kissing her. I remembered that night, how nervous and upset she'd been thinking she'd ruined the moment, the two of us dancing together in the thick fog. Silly girl. She was so brave—so much braver than I was or ever would be. I had been in love with her forever, but she'd been the one with the courage to tell me first. She always had been the strong one.

Her strength, her faith, her unwavering conviction… She was everything to me. Suddenly, I realized I was yet again letting my worries and my fears get the best of me. I loved her, and somehow she loved me, too. I'd been so concerned with setting up the perfect moment for a proposal and getting it right—asking her right the first time so she would say yes. I'd been so caught up in my worry that if it wasn't perfect she would say no. And that was chicken-shit.

I twirled her slowly a couple of more times and then dipped her, bending her over my arm so that her long hair almost touched the concrete. I brought her back up, her face flushed, sparkling, and laughing. One more spin, and as she faced away from me, I made use of my excellent reflexes and reached into my jacket pocket, pulling out the ring I had been using as a talisman for the past couple of years. She stumbled slightly as I brought her against my chest, gasping in surprise as she crashed into me. I took a deep breath in an attempt to settle my suddenly nervous stomach and held the ring up between us. Her eyes focused on it, her smile slowly fading. Her gaze shot to mine, to the ring, and back to mine. I felt her body tremble as her eyes filled with moisture and her hand pressed against her mouth.

"I love you." My voice was gruff. I swallowed past the lump in my throat. "Then, now, and every day of forever. I want you to be mine in every way that matters, because I've been yours ever since that day I ran into you my sophomore year in high school. I love you, Isabella. Marry me."

"Edward…" her voice was a breathy wisp of sound.

"There's nothing more I want in this world than for you to be my wife. Legally. Officially. I've wanted to ask you. I've been carrying this ring around with me for more than two years." I shook my head at my own stupidity. "Two years! I've been so worried about making sure the time was right. I wanted to be sure we were both ready, and that I wasn't getting in the way of what you wanted—what you needed—to do first. But I know…" I swallowed again. "We both know life's too short."

I felt her hand clench convulsively on my lapel. We didn't talk much about the attack that happened when we were juniors in high school, or about the time I spent in the hospital and the long recovery and rehabilitation I went through to be able to play hockey again. We didn't talk a lot about it, but there was no denying it had profoundly affected us both.

"I've been so worried about asking you right the first time, like I promised, that I forgot to simply…ask you." I knew she didn't need or want an elaborate production. She didn't need an exotic locale, or twenty thousand witnesses at a sports arena. She just needed to be asked, sincerely and from my heart—and she already had that. It was the asking that needed to be done.

"Marry me, Bella."

The fog swirled around us as she stared at me. Her hand came up to cup my cheek, and she kissed my lips gently. "You did ask me right the first time, Edward, and I told you yes then. Remember?"

It only took a second to realize what she meant. I _had_ asked her in my own way, years ago in a sunlit meadow outside of Forks, Washington. Those recollections still had a dreamlike quality to them. I never really knew if that was because of the perfection of those moments, or because of the subsequent memory loss I experienced only hours later at the hands of James Lucard. To this day I recalled only bits and pieces of the attack…but those were memories that had no place in my head that particular evening.

Her fingers stroked my brow, drifting through my hair to curl around the back of my neck. Her fingertips touched the spot where I had suffered the injury that almost ended my career—and my life. I should have known she would realize exactly where my thoughts had gone.

"I love you, Edward Cullen. I always have. It doesn't matter when you ask me, or how. I'll say yes every time. Yes. I'll marry you."

I stared at her, my mind incapable of processing anything other than her _yes_. I was stunned and thrilled right down to my toes. I grabbed her up off her feet and crushed her to me, using her body to hold my heart inside my chest. I laughed shakily, overwhelmed with love and relief and Bella.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"You'll marry me?"

It was her turn to laugh. "Of course I will, you silly man. I've been waiting ages for you to give me a damn ring."

"I'm an idiot," I said, setting her down and unclenching my fingers from around the ring.

"Sometimes," she agreed, her eyes fastened on the circle of diamonds and gold in my palm. "Oh!" Her breath caught. "It's beautiful, Edward."

"It's my Grandma Cullen's. Mom and Dad offered it to me years ago, and I had to have it. It reminded me so much of you," I said softly, taking her hand and bringing it to my lips. I kissed her palm, opening her fingers and placing them on my cheek. I placed another kiss to the inside of her wrist and met her wet eyes. "If you'd prefer another…"

She shook her head vehemently. "N-no. I want that one. I want _you_."

I took her hand in mine once again and brushed my lips across her knuckles. She held her breath as I slipped the ring over the third finger of her left hand. I couldn't take my eyes off the band that said she had agreed to be mine, that she had chosen me one last time. Possessiveness swelled inside me, and my eyes flew to hers.

"I want you." I echoed her words, but my meaning was more literal. I was suddenly quivering with the need to claim her physically. It was huge and undeniable.

"Yes," she said simply, and I had to shake my head to clear it from the scorching lust that roared through me.

"No, I mean I want you. I don't think I can wait until we get home. I _want_ you, Bella."

"Yes," she repeated, her eyes locked on mine. "Right now, Edward. Please."

Fucking hell. She knew how that _please_ did me in every time. The sparkling diamond in her ring flashed even in the dim, muted sodium lights in the fog, and the need to stake my claim on her in the most basic, primal, and definite way overtook my good sense. I bent at the knee and grabbed the back of her thighs, pulling her up against me and wrapping her legs around my waist so that the heat of her covered my raging erection. I slid my hands up her legs to her ass, moaning when I felt the silky slide of her thigh-high stockings give way to smooth, bare skin. I cupped her in both hands, pausing for a second in surprise when each palm was filled with firm, sleek muscle, soft flesh—and nothing else. I jerked my head back to stare at her.

"You aren't wearing underwear?" I asked incredulously, my body shaking with alternating hot flashes and cold chills at the thought she had been sitting next to me, in my lap, all night with nothing but Bella underneath that halter dress.

"Mm." she hooked her hands around the back of my neck and smiled, her eyes closing halfway. "I have something on underneath this dress, but I'm not sure there's enough of it to qualify as underwear."

A low and feral growl escaped me as I stumbled forward until we came up against the Volvo. I sat her on the hood and brought my hands up to frame her face, tilting my head and taking her mouth hard and fast. She moaned, her hands coming up to grab my hair, yanking, twisting, and demanding. Her ankles locked around my waist and her legs flexed, pulling me into the haven of her thighs. I lowered my hands to grab her hips, grinding against her. I bunched the material of her full skirt in my fist, pulling it up to pool around her waist and sinking my teeth into her lower lip, drawing it between us as I slowly eased away. She tried to follow me with that desperate, needy sound that did very good things to my ego. My hands came up to her bare shoulders, which were warm and slightly damp from the wet, heavy air surrounding us. I gripped her biceps and eased her back to lie across the hood of Volvo, staring down at where I was pressed against her, where she was exposed to my gaze and the night air. I wanted to see what she had worn underneath that dress for me.

It was a little lacy scrap of…nothing. A very tiny strap of red elastic banded each hipbone, moving down into a V shape over her sex. To call what held them together material would be incorrect. It was a fragment, a wisp, a…fantasy. I stared, and was only brought from my lust-induced stupor by the slow undulation of her hips. I wanted to tear the thong off with my teeth. I wanted to taste her. I wanted her in my mouth. I wanted to bite her and leave a bruise. I wanted…but I didn't have the time. There was no way I could fight off the need to be inside her for very much longer.

"Edward," she breathed, her hands lifting above her head, her back arching. I used one hand to pull the red lace aside while the fingers of the other slicked along the bare flesh between her legs. I tickled gently, and she laughed and groaned, pushing down onto me as I slid my fingers inside her body. "Ohh," she moaned, her eyes fluttering shut. "Almost…it…"

I set up a deep, steady rhythm, watching the changing expressions on her face with greedy intensity. The writhing of her body gradually slowed, and the rapid rise and fall of her breasts stuttered and held. I knew she was close. I flicked my thumb over her clitoris, rubbing and then pressing as I twitched my fingers. I bent down, taking her into my mouth, and she came with sharp jerks of her hips.

Her panting resumed, only to gradually ease into deep, sighing breaths. I kept stroking her as my other hand frantically fumbled with the fastening and zipper of my suit pants. I finally got them undone and let them fall to my ankles, grabbing one side of the waistband of my briefs and tugging them down to my knees. I grabbed my shaft, unable to stop myself from giving a quick, firm stroke as I moved back between her parted thighs. I took in the sight of her draped over the black hood, legs spread and arms outstretched. I dimly realized I was about to fuck my girl in the parking garage at Joe Louis Arena—secured team area or not—after just having promised to spend the rest of my life taking care of her. What the hell was I thinking?

I wasn't, obviously.

My eyes flew to hers, only to find them narrowed and heavy with desire. She stared back at me, searching my expression, and she bit her lower lip between her teeth. My cock leapt despite my self-castigating thoughts.

"Do it," she whispered, her eyes steady and sure on mine. "Edward. Do it. Now."

There was absolutely no way I could stop, not after hearing that. I surged into her, grasping her hips and pulling her onto my cock. My shout of pleasure mixed with her groan of satisfaction and bounced off the concrete walls surrounding us. I tried to go slow, to savor, but she felt so good, so tight, so wet, so _mine_, that I could do nothing but thrust helplessly inside her, again and again.

"Mine," I gasped in time with the tempo of my hips.

She was mine, and she belonged to me, just as I had belonged to her since I was sixteen years old. I leaned over her, putting my hands under her hips to hold her to me as I scraped my teeth over her left nipple, which had hardened quite noticeably against the material of the halter dress. I bit down, causing her to arch into me and increase the contact of our still partially clad bodies. I brought my mouth up to suck at her neck, and she retaliated by nipping my earlobe. I moaned. I felt her lips brush against my ear as she gripped my biceps.

"Mine," she echoed forcefully, snapping her hips and causing a bolt of sensation to scorch every nerve ending in my body, rendering me weak and senseless. My knees buckled, and only the grip I had on her ass kept me from sliding out of her. I met her eyes, and they glowed with an intensity that made my heart stop. "Finally," she said distinctly.

My hips slowed as we stared at each other. I remembered those were the words I said to her in the hallway of Forks High School after our first date, her first hockey game, our first kiss.

"Then," I breathed, thrusting into her hard. She moaned and her eyes fluttered before she forced them back to mine. "Now." Another slow withdrawal and quick, forceful stroke forward. I leaned over her once again, tipping my head as I brushed my lips lightly over hers. "Always, mia Bella."

I kissed her, shaping her lips, pressing along them with my tongue before I slipped it inside and resumed rocking into her. She clung to me with her hands, her mouth, and her body, until the pulsing detonations of her orgasm prompted mine. The rush of euphoria that overwhelmed my senses was intense and profound, and my body trembled and shook in the aftermath. I felt her soft and warm underneath me, her legs still wrapped around my upper thighs, her arms around my shoulders and fingers sifting lazily through my hair. I didn't want to leave the sanctuary of her body; I felt compelled to stay deep inside her long after the aftershocks of our climaxes had subsided. There was more here, more than just me, more than just her, or even us. There was more than a desire to claim each other physically. This moment of the two of us together had metamorphosed into so much more. I had never been so certain of anything in my entire life, except for Bella.

I lay half on top of her for a long time, until I became aware we had just engaged in semi-public sex and my ass was exposed to the foggy night air. I hadn't bothered to unbutton my shirt or take of my suit jacket, so I was still mostly covered, but my pants were in a puddle around my ankles and Bella's skirt was wadded up around her waist. I surreptitiously glanced up at the corner where I suspected a security camera lurked, and was somewhat relieved to realize that, while there could be no mistake about what we had been doing, nothing too embarrassing was hanging out—I hoped. I also hoped that there would be no reason for anyone to review the security tapes from that night, and it would be recorded over in the next few days.

I straightened and finally slipped out of her body with a sense of regret. I smoothed her skirt back down around her knees before bending to grab my pants and pull them around my hips. Bella sat up and swayed slightly, running her hands through her hair and adjusting the bodice of the dress. I cupped her face in my hands, giving her a tender kiss before taking her left hand in mine and raising it to my lips. I kissed the ring on her finger and placed another to the center of her palm, closing her fingers in a fist to hold it.

"I love you, Isabella."

She wrapped her arms around my waist and pressed her head into my chest. It was the best feeling in the world to have her nestled so trustingly, so lovingly, against my body.

"I love you, Edward. We're getting married," she marveled, lifting her head to look at me.

I smiled at the expression on her face. "We are. As soon as possible." I wondered if she felt the connection, the meaning, the significance of what happened that night. What we had done…What I knew, deep in my soul, we had created together.

"Good." She looked completely satisfied as she slid off the hood of the car onto her feet. I steadied her, pulling her into my body for one last hug. I just couldn't get enough of her. Even after all the years we'd been together, I wanted this woman like a drug addict needed his next fix. I hoped that feeling would never fade.

Her hands gripped the bottom edge of my shirt where it hung outside of my pants. I felt her fingers slip underneath to tickle the bare skin of my sides.

"I can't believe we just did that," she whispered into my chest.

"It's been quite a night," I said, putting my hand on the small of her back as I punched in the keyless entry code on the pad on the car door. "You got your MBA, a marriage proposal, and sex on the hood of the Volvo in a semi-public place, all in about eight hours."

I guided her around to the passenger side and opened the door, holding her hand until she was seated securely. I leaned in and kissed her before shutting the door and making my way around to the driver's side.

"Yeah, well, you got another playoff series win, a cross country flight, a fiancée who happens to have just gotten her MBA, and sex on the hood of the Volvo in a semi-public place, all in about twenty-four hours," she returned as I started the car and drove out of the parking area.

I hid a satisfied smile. I got something else tonight, too, something that was better than all of the other things—except maybe the fiancée part. I knew on the surface the chances were slight, but birth control failed all the time. And I had a deep certainty that just wouldn't be denied.

"So, what are we going to name him?" I reached over and placed my hand low on her belly, turning to look at her with a raised brow and a small smile on my face.

Her head whipped around, and her mouth fell open as she gaped at me. "What are you…? Why would you…? How do you…?"

Her jaw snapped shut, and she narrowed her eyes on mine. She was silent as we just stared at each other, neither of us backing down, neither of us looking away. A deep, meaningful silence filled the car.

"How do you know it's a him?" she finally asked, acknowledging that she felt the same thing I did—the bone deep knowledge that we had made a child together on the hood of the car, in the fog-laden parking garage in downtown Detroit. A flare of joy shot from my heart to my groin.

I stroked her stomach, leaning over to kiss her before I straightened in my seat and shrugged. I couldn't stop the grin from breaking out over my face or the happiness tightening my chest as I hit the turn signal and pulled out of the parking garage, heading for home.

"Well, we're _not_ naming him 'Volvo' or anything stupid like that," she grumbled, crossing her arms around her waist. It was an unconscious, protective, and embracing gesture. The pride and possessiveness for my future wife and child swelled immeasurably.

I couldn't hold back the bark of laughter. "Not even 'XC', or 'Sixty'?" I teased, referring to the model of the Volvo. "Maybe his initials could be XC, like Xavier Cullen."

"No!" Her tone was still put-upon, but I could detect the humor underneath.

"That's okay," I said, reaching out and stroking my fingers along the inside of her thigh as I hit the freeway. "We'll think of something. We've got nine months, after all."

I didn't tell her I already had the perfect name for our son. There was no way we were going to name him anything other than Joe, after the grand old arena where he was conceived. Joe Cullen.

_Our son_.

I took her hand and placed it over her belly, settling my much larger one over it. I gave a gentle, meaningful squeeze. She smiled at me, her lips trembling just the slightest bit, and so did mine as I returned it. It was a moment I'd never forget, not as long as I lived. It was a moment filled with love, hope, and anticipation for the future.

My future. My son. My Bella.

* * *

**Some of you have been kind enough to ask about my future plans. I do have some outtakes, past shots, and an idea of their college years and future, but I'm not sure what form they'll take or if they'll be worth posting - I'll have to see. I am going to take a break to deal with some RL stuff and work on some original stories I'm excited about.**

**Thank you again so much for your interest and for all of your support for Iceward and his Bella.**


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